Chapter Text
Wow. This shit is gnarly.
Exactly, that is the first thought of Dazai Osamu as he discovers sorcery. Odd thing, isnt it? He discovered it by seeing a small curse near a roadside. Out of pure pettiness. He stomps on it. And with the power of No Longer Human— it gets nullified.
Should he tell this to the agency? The port mafia, maybe??
nahhh.
Maybe like next time or something.
Except you can't really hide things from Ranpo. And if you can't hide things from Ranpo. You can't hide things from the agency. So eventually, The brunette had to explain to the president about curses and sorcery before going undercover as a teacher.
"Are you excited, Dazai-san?" Atsushi asks. If he has to be sincere, he'd say no with a shit eating grin.
"Very, Atsushi! I'll get the agency some nice souvenirs. You'd like any?"
".. Im good." The tiger responded. The ex executive only gave a giggle at that and continued to yap about.. Anything.
Dazai was gone the next day, and Atsushi had to admit— the agency office felt a lot more quiet and empty with Kunikida nagging a certain bandaged man or Kyoka asking Dazai curious questions that a fourteen year old definitely shouldn't be asking about.
𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕
MMM, NEW TEACHERS ??
Gojo doesn't exactly have standards for teachers. As long as they aren't like... Pedo's, or anything. Ew. Anyway, he should probably get ready to greet the new teachers too. But he annoyed UtaHime for a while. Eventually, it got boring as the female sorcerer threw tea at him. (Not the first time) and Shoko was too busy brooding. Kind of like brooding?? Man, Gojo doesn't know. He hears words being exchanged outside, before the door opens. A brown haired man with bandages all over his body. A coat and a smile that reminded Gojo of the Cheshire Cat. Yaga was just beside him. Walking like equals.
ehh, maybe he can troll a bit.
He turns on limitless the moment the brunette was about to shake his hand, Utahime notices and scoffs, Shoko only watches in faint amusement.
𝗚𝗼𝗻𝗲.
Dazai's hand... Pasts through the limitless? It feels like Gojo lost every power he had. Like he was a normal civilian. Empty and powerless. Dazai shakes his hand with a smile. Seemingly unaware with the chaos he caused.
What the absolute fuck.
This shit is the best entertainment Dazai has had in DAYS.
They look almost horrified as Dazai shakes Gojo's hand. Dazai doesn't let out a snicker. Holding it in to keep up that innocent persona.
"My name's Osamu Dazai. And you are?"
Gojo doesn't answer. His heart is racing— Dazai realizes. Either Gojo fell in love with him. Which is unlikely, or he's having a panic attack.
As much as Dazai would love to continue fucking with the sorcerer. Odasaku had said it would be good for the soul to be nice every now and then. So Dazai escape's Gojo's grip.
For Gojo, his power has returned. Yet it felt so... Terrifying, earlier. To feel so powerless. Like your own techniques were ripped away from your very being. It felt that eerie.
"H-huh?"
"And you are?" Dazai repeats the question.
"Don't.. Mind him. He's Gojo Satoru." Principal Yaga says for him softly. Still quietly flabbergasted.
oh yeah, i know. Dazai snickers in his head. Prior to meeting them, he did some research on the world of Jujutsu. Just simple and basic information. To the three major clans, and... The infamous 'strongest' sorcerer alive currently.
Dazai believes this was a gamble to his reputation. He wasn't sure if No Longer Human worked on cursed techniques of sorcerers like curses itself. But he took a try— and thankfully, (or non thankfully) it did work.
(Dazai finds it upsetting, he would finally be able to find a concrete AND cool way to die)
"Dazai, right? what's your cursed technique?" Shoko cuts into the conversation smoothly. "For example, i am able to use RCT perfectly. It's a cursed technique mainly used to heal others."
𝘖𝘩, 𝘴𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘰-𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘪'𝘴, 𝘩𝘶𝘩? Dazai realizes. "Ah, what a useful technique!" He resists the urge to ask her for a double suicide. "And Gojo's?" He asks with a grin. He sees how Gojo forces a silly grin.
".. Limitless. And Six Eyes."
"Oh! Two cursed techniques? Is that normal?"
"Not exactly..?"
"You haven't answered my question." Shoko says with a louder tone of voice. "what is your cursed technique. And how does it work?" She questions firmly. It almost reminds Dazai of Kouyou.
"Mm, my.. Cursed technique. Is called No Longer Human. I nullify other cursed techniques." Dazai explains with a smile. "So no weapons with curse energy should be in contact with me. I might nullify them on accident."
"Oh, oh."
"Yeah, that makes sense!" Gojo says. He seemed relieved. "Does that work for curses, too?"
"Yeah, it does." 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘦, 𝘐𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥.
///
"OHH, theres a hot teacher, right?"
"Kugisaki. How could you word it like that?" Megumi scolds the girl. "Well, I'm not lying. Plus, not my words either. He met with Gojo-sensei earlier. Says he was charming enough for Gojo to stop talking for a whole ten seconds!"
"Wait, really?" Yuji cuts in. "Seriously?" Megumi asks. Interest slightly piqued. To make Gojo Satoru shut up.. Interesting, indeed.
"Well, i can't help but be interested. Who knows? Maybe Gojo-sensei really is in love!" Kugisaki says with a squeal. She's been really into those MLM stories since Gojo's Christmas gift to her..
Which was a Boys Love manga.. What was the name of it again? Jinx? Yuji kind of forgot. After all, to spite him. Sukuna would forcibly make Yuji forget some stuff. But he personally believes Sukuna did it for selfish reasons this time.
.. Yuji was fine with it this time, he didn't exactly want to have memory of how two guys made love. Neither did Sukuna, Yuji thinks. Was gay stuff bad during the Heian Era??
𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘹 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘨𝘶𝘺 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘦𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘌𝘳𝘢?
𝘒𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧. Sukuna replies back.
Woah, buddy.
"Thats unlikely." Megumi says with a small frown.
"It's realistic!" Nobara counters.
"It's ballistic!" Yuji adds.
"Oh my fucking God. Yuji! Stop using words you don't even know the meaning of!" Nobara says, annoyance laced on her tone. "No! I do know the meaning!" Yuji defends himself with a squeak.
Somewhere on campus. Dazai sneezes.