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1. Do Black Holes Always Have to be Cold? by nipplewarehouse

   Fandoms: No I'm not a Human (Video Game)  

   • Explicit
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   10 Feb 2026

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Coat Guy/Protagonist (No I'm not a Human)
   • Coat Guy (No I'm not a Human)/Reader
   • Coat Guy (No I'm not a Human)
   • Yesenin | Bar Guy (No I'm not a Human)
   • Protagonist (No I'm not a Human)
   • Coat Guy is named Evgeni
   • Self-Insert
   • Protag is a self insert
   • Self Insert x Cannon
   • This is a birthday pressie lolol
   • Foreign Homeowner (NINAH)
   • Homeowner is a self-insert
   • Friends to Lovers
   • Secret Relationship
   • Cuddly Coat Guy
   • Homeowner/Protag's name is Aleksandr
   • Frotting
   • Desperation
   • Begging
   • Mentioned Wireface (NINAH)
   • Mentioned Blinded Man (NINAH)
   • Mentioned Amogus Guy (NINAH)
   • Mentioned Bearded Huntsman (NINAH)
   • Mentioned Cashier Girl (NINAH)
   • First Kiss
   • first kiss turned hashtag sloppy
   • heated makeouts
   • no beta we die like men
   • no beta we die like being a homo in Russia
   • Non-Russian author
   • Mentioned Character Death
   • Improper Use of Coat Guy's Stomach Hole (No I'm not a Human)
   • Named Homeowner (NINAH)
   • Bottom Coat Guy (No I'm not a Human)
   • Whiny Coat Guy (No I'm not a Human)
   • Coat Guy's Stomach Hole Fingering (No I'm not a Human)
   • Submissive Coat Guy (No I'm not a Human)
   • Coat Guy Needs a Hug (No I'm not a Human)
   • i just went into a tagging flow state holy shit

   Summary

   Evgeni was always so cold and closed off during both of his lives that he didn't even bother forming lasting relationships anymore. That was until he stumbled to a home that would change his life for the greater good.

   THIS IS A SELF-INSERT FIC FOR A FRIEND!! I WILL BE EDITING THIS INTO AN 'X READER' IN THE FUTURE. Stay tuned!

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   5,397

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   3

   Kudos:

   30

   Hits:

   501