Chapter Text
Dirt laced boots clunked against the metal ramp, dried mud being kicked off with every step until Rey finally set foot on D’Qar once again. It had been over two weeks since she had left. Various Resistance pilots gave their greetings as they passed by but their words fell on deaf ears. Rey's eyebrows remained furrowed, the corner of her lips falling down. Eyes focused on nothing in particular as she remained frozen in her steps. Her hands, which remained at her side, were in fists, trembling from the intensity they were being clenched. No one walking by had noticed and she was hoping no one would.
A heavy arm set on her shoulders and she jumped slightly, a blink ultimately tearing her from her thoughts as her hands relaxed and her face softened. A soft growl came from Chewie and she offered a weak smile in return. It wasn’t enough to fool him, but enough to let him know she was trying to be optimistic. That was all he was asking. Maybe they had been traveling for too long and all they needed was a sleep for a while.
“Yeah, yeah you're right.”
Seemingly satisfied with her response, Chewbacca lowered his arm and continued walking, R2D2 at his side, heading toward the entrance of the base. She watched the two of them for a moment, having developed a bond between Chewie that she hadn’t anticipated. Yet, she couldn’t look at him without remembering Han’s death.
A greeting caught Rey's attention and she turned, giving a close lipped smile in their direction as she adjusted the bag on her shoulder and started walking. Her bag felt heavy with the lightsaber in it, heavier than it ever felt before. She set a hand against the pouch, preventing it from moving around as she walked. Her hand obscured a good part of it from view, as if not wanting to bring attention to it. The automatic doors slid open in her presence and she continued walking, heading further inside the base. Rey was incredibly thankful no one stopped her to try and make conversation.
She was quick to get through the command center, half expecting to pass the General and her chest tightened at the thought. Now wasn’t the best time to talk to Leia, not with the news she carried with her. With a lowered head, she glanced around but Leia was nowhere to be found, but everyone around seemed busy and didn’t spot Rey. She then quickly crossed the crowded room, nervously pushing back rebellious strands of hair, holding her breath until she got to an empty hallway.
She looked both ways, not knowing where either passage led, but she knew she needed to be alone at the moment. In Jakku it was easy, but here, the constant presence of people was proving to be stifling for someone who had been alone for a large part of her life. Hearing footsteps coming from the left she continued on to the right, walking faster as she just made her own path, eventually walking down a flight of stairs.
Rey had never gotten the chance to explore the base; she had only been given a day after her return from Starkiller Base when she had to leave once more in search of Luke, but had heard of the maintenance level being below the hanger and she believed she was headed in that direction. Despite the prospect of running into people, she continued walking down the corridor, the silence becoming eerie. There were large windows allowing one to peer in the rooms but all Rey saw were empty and unlit spaces, maybe an outline of a table? The light from the corridor didn't give much brilliance to be able to make out what was inside and painted everything with a blue hue. The door to these rooms all were outlined with a red glow, Rey wondered if that meant they were locked. They appeared to be sliding doors and she looked at the control panels which displayed a screen with various options. She was about to touch one but heard the hiss of an unlatched door and the low rumble of a male voice.
Unsure where it was coming from she continued walking, turning on a curve that brought two people into view standing outside a room. Rey debated turning around but they immediately turned their attention to her as her boots were thudding against the metal flooring. Captain Cypress straightened at the sight of Rey and gave a small smile, beckoning her to come over as an unfamiliar Resistance member stood near him at attention.
“Rey, you've arrived. Has the General been informed?” His tone was chipper, not at all bothered by Rey’s appearance in this level of the base.
She only gave a slow nod, looking toward the Resistance member at the Captain’s side. He didn’t look her in the eyes, he looked over her head, body tense as he held his hands behind his back. He wore a uniform that she had never seen before, but the Resistance symbol was emblazoned on the corner of his chest.
Her eyes then turned to something more interesting. Their door was outlined with a green glow this time and Rey was interested in the contents of the room as she saw light coming from the glass. Just what was happening down here? Were they meeting rooms? She must have counted at least five on each side so far, seemed like a lot of rooms to be meeting in.
“Ah, Rey?” Captain Cypress inquired as she leaned to the right to get a better view before deciding to walk up to the glass herself.
Her name was called again but she didn't bother turning once she saw what was inside. The room was white, almost blindingly so. Everything was pure white. A white table was placed in the middle, Rey saw a chair facing her direction, as if it had been pushed back, it was empty but across from it was an occupied one. Rey had no clue who it was, but they had their hands on top of the table and stared down at their lap. Despite some stringy blonde strands having dropped down to their face, Rey could see the wrinkle between their brows and she stepped closer, now making out wounds on their face, but they weren't fresh.
The fact that they were wearing a black outfit only made them stand out even more and Rey only turned away from the sight of them to ask, “Who is that?”
Captain Cypress stepped forward, clasping his hands in front of himself as he walked. He had picked his chin up and then stood before Rey with his chest puffed out, composed and confident. Rey had to admit she thought he was going to be angry with her.
“That is the commander of the First Order’s stormtroopers.” He couldn’t hide the smile begging to be let out. He was very proud of who he had in that room.
Rey's eyebrows shot up at the reveal and she looked back to the window, unable to believe who was in there. She’d yet to hear of this person from Finn, but she could only imagine what awful things the commanding officer of the stormtroopers had done to Finn.
“Captain Phasma, she's called. We were given wind of her location on a planet, the locals, to put it lightly, were startled by her presence. The First Order had just left her there, for dead. Her armor was damaged, but we managed to stabilize her. She woke up about a couple of days ago and is scheduled for a departure to the Republic who are more equipped for dealing with enemy troops. We've been trying to get her to talk, but it hasn't been effective. Hopefully we’ll get something out of her once she speaks to them.”
Staring at her, Rey’s fists started to ball into fists once again. This was the woman who ordered Finn to do terrible to things, the woman who had ordered many stormtroopers to terrible things. The implication of interrogation brought back memories of her experience with Kylo Ren and how he… how he forced himself into her mind. The frustration she felt upon returning to D-Qar without Luke, the rejection, the need to remind herself she was capable of something that she was a force to be reckoned with. It all began to rise to the surface.
“I can get her to talk,” was all Rey said, having been flooded with anger at the woman who had done horrible acts in the name of the First Order.
“Rey, no!” She heard but didn't listen as the doors slid open in her presence.
They didn't follow her in. Maybe they wanted to see what she would do or maybe they went to get General Organa. Whatever it was it didn't matter at the moment. Rey was focused on Phasma, angry at her, yet there was more to it than anger that she had not yet realized.
At her entrance, Phasma looked up, her hardened face momentarily softening with recognition.
“You remember me?”
Following her challenging words, Rey slammed her hands down on the table and inched her face close to Phasma. A light scar had split her brow, another bridge of her nose. A healing scratch cut alongside her cheek. It was clear she was a battle worn commander.
Rey already was panting, her emotions getting the best of her. Phasma said nothing and it angered Rey even more. Was she not aware who she was? Did she not care?
“Not so mighty without that armor? Without your stormtroopers behind you?”
Blue eyes stared back at her and Rey knew she wasn't intimidated and she hated it. Phasma and the First Order should be intimidated. She was part of the Force, of the Resistance. She would put a stop to them just as Luke put a stop to Darth Vader decades ago. She would be just like Luke.
“You know I can get the information from you even if you don't say a word.”
That got Phasma to shift in her seat and Rey saw her swallow, but her features showed no distress as eyes remained forward. Her tongue peeked out to wet her lips and she leaned forward, baiting Rey.
“Do your worst, Scavenger.”
Phasma didn't deserve a fair interrogation, she had caused destruction to many planets and countless towns. She deserved to pay for her crimes but not before she told them everything she knew about the First Order and most importantly how to put a stop to it. She deserved to hurt for all the hurt she had caused so many people.
A smirk appeared on her face and that was it. She was so smug about this. Loyal to an order that left her to die. Rey focused, never having done this before. She strained, gritting her teeth as Phasma stared back at her. Her smirk disappeared however and Rey could sense… apprehension? Was that what that was?
Phasma leaned back and tugged at her restraints, however Rey was not aware she was shackled to the table and didn’t want her to escape, immediately she reached out to grip onto Phasma's hands to keep her there and in that moment she received a trickling on emotions which soon burst through the mental dam.
Rey let go, stumbling back as she shut her eyes, not having been prepared for this onslaught of emotions and sensations. She felt fear like she had never had before and then there was pain, so much pain. She wanted it to stop but it couldn't, it wouldn't.
“Rey. Rey!”
Upon opening her eyes she saw General Organa hovering over her, offering a hand to help her up from the ground. When had she fallen? Rubbing the tears from her eyes she stood up with Leia’s offered hand. No matter how many tears she wiped more kept coming but they weren’t her own, she had no control over what she felt at the moment.
“Is this how the Resistance works? Forcing their way into the minds of prisoners?” Phasma spat as two Resistance members with similar uniforms as the one before came to remove her. She struggled in their grip. “You think you're better than us? You're the same as we are!”
Rey stared at Phasma as she left the room and despite the anger in Phasma’s voice, the tears that had also ran down her cheeks said something else entirely. Whatever Rey felt, Phasma did too, maybe even stronger since Rey was sure all those sensations had come from her.
“I'm so sorry, General,” Rey said, looking back to Leia once Phasma had left the room. “I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to hurt her like they have been hurting so many people. I was so angry, I–”
“It's okay, Rey,” She soothed, putting a hand on her shoulder as she led Rey out the room, Phasma was nowhere to be seen. “But I want you to know that we don't do that here.”
“I know, I'm so sorry–”
Leia gently shushed Rey as they walked. It took a moment for Rey to finally compose herself, but didn't think she could shake off those sensations of pain.
“I take it my brother wasn't so willing to come back.”
Rey shut her eyes, remembering about what happened with Luke. She felt terrible for having disappointed Leia like that. She had wanted to avoid telling her for as long as she could, but time had run out and she had to face her.
“He wouldn't take the lightsaber. He wanted nothing to do with the Resistance.” Rey couldn’t believe it when he had denied her. She tried to convince him otherwise, resorted to begging, told him of Han’s fate… yet nothing persuaded him.
Leia remained facing forward as Rey looked to her, trying to read her face, wanting to see how much she had disappointed her. Rey felt like she was to blame. Maybe he didn’t see in her what others saw. Maybe she had no potential. She was just a scavenger from Jakku. Eventually a long sigh escaped Leia’s lips.
“I predicted as much. Thank you for trying, Rey.”
“What'll we do now?”
“Now?” Leia’s tone was lighter than before and she turned to look at Rey with a smile. “Now I believe there's someone who has been waiting to see you.”
Rey's eyebrows raised at the change in demeanor and in brief confusion as to who Leia was referring too, but then she looked ahead of them as they walked back up the stairs, eyes falling on Finn and Poe waiting for her, with BB-8 not far from Poe’s ankles. She smiled widely at seeing them. Nothing was better than seeing that Finn had made a great recovery after what happened at Starkiller Base.
“Rey!”
“Finn!”
They both quickened their steps only to embrace each other tightly. Rey was mindful of his back, but she was so happy to see him. She had been worried about her friend throughout her journey to Luke.
Once they let go they started to ask each other questions, answering them within the same breath. Poe looked at them, smiling, and Leia walked away, her smile turning to a more neutral expression as she turned away, her eyes carrying a hint of worry in them. She couldn't afford to visit her brother herself, but she needed him to understand how serious this was.
Now isn't the time to be stubborn, Luke.
The sleeping quarters were dark, the only light came dimly from the clock at Rey’s side. She didn’t have to look at it to know it was well past the proper time to be awake. Rey remained staring at the ceiling, thinking about all that had happened that day. She was grateful for this moment of solitude but found she didn't enjoy being alone with her thoughts this night.
She had tried sleep. She had shut her eyes only for them to find their way open once again. She turned from side to side and nothing. Her bed groaned under her movements and she hoped the person in the other room didn't hear her tossing and turning.
Rey didn't know if the insomnia was because what happened with Luke or because of what happened with Phasma but either way, she was left restless. How was she to help the Resistance when she had no training of her powers? How could she treat Phasma the same way the First Order would a prisoner?
In that moment, she felt the tears well up in her eyes. She pressed her face against her pillow, feeling a huge weight in her chest at the thought that she wouldn't be a Jedi, the ones she heard so many stories about. She had gotten halfway there, became a part of the Resistance, the heroes, but she couldn’t find any use they could have of her. In this dark moment, she wished she had remained on Jakku.
Rey wasn't the only one having trouble getting rest. Phasma sat on the cot in the corner of her cell, head in her hands, feet on the ground. Her breath came out in short pants. Every time she closed her eyes she was given blips of memories. Not enough to describe with certainty but they came with such strong emotions, emotions stronger than she ever felt before.
Yet she had felt them before. Clearly she had otherwise she wouldn't be feeling them now but how could she have forgotten? How could she have forgotten so much pain? She started to cry, grabbing at her hair in an attempt to understand what was going on. She felt so out of control.
Rey didn't get in her head but there was a tickling, a familiar sensation that triggered Phasma to these sensations, these emotions. She could only come up with one explanation, she wasn't a stranger to a Force mind probe.
“What did they do to me?” She muttered aloud, wondering how far reconditioning went. It was the only place she could recall with some clarity. She couldn’t remember why, but she could remember how nervous she was. Her wrists and ankles were restrained, she remembered the cool sensation of metal against her warm, irritated skin.
‘What else,” she urged herself to remember, pressing the palms of her hands into her eyes. Right as she got hit with pain a flash of the Supreme Leader came into view. Phasma let out a gasp, dropping her hands and backing further into her bed until her back hit the wall. It was as if he was right in front of her.
Laying back down in bed she shut her eyes, once again succumbing to the flashes of sensation, of pain. Instead of opening her eyes she gritted her teeth, hoping it would go away, hoping that just by letting it run its course, the pain would eventually leave. It was like she was back there. In that room. With Supreme Leader Snoke. No, Kylo Ren. No… Just what had happened in that room? What had she been sending her stormtroopers to?