Work Text:
-----Sage_Peridot-----
The Radio Demon was walking through Cannibal Town when he heard a small voice from below him. Not an unusual occurrence, most everyone was below him, whether it be height wise or status wise. He didn't know what possessed him to pay heed to this voice, but maybe he was in a good mood. He looked down, his smile wavering (well, wavering as much as it could while it's permanently fixed upon his face) when he saw a small worm just in front of his shoe.
"Hi!" It squeaked. The first thought to come to his head was to squish it and move on. But he figured 'hey, if a worm's going to talk, might as well hear it out.' So, he attempted pleasant conversation, trying to ignore the feeling of demons staring at him talking to what looked like the pavement.
"Hello," he spoke, resting his hands on top of his stand.
"You're gay." The worm said, plain and simple. The sudden accusation caused a squeak of static to cut through the air as Alastor practically stumbled back in surprise. Now he was /really/ considering squishing this thing. He readjusted his monocle and decided to cut the pleasantries.
"What did you call me?" He growled, trying to sound as intimidating as possible. If he had sounded intimidating, the worm wasn't phased. It quicker its head to the side innocently.
"I called you gay. Because you are." Alastor was getting more and more frustrated. He didn't care much for the opinions and critiques of others, but this worm was so pretentious, he couldn't help but get frazzled. Besides, what evidence did he even have? Alastor decided he didn't want to know.
".. Right." Alastor says, closing his eyes in a threatening smile. "Let's make a deal," /was he really about to make a dead with a *worm* of all things? Oh whatever/ "You say nothing about this, and I don't kill you where you stand.. Lay.. Whatever you worms do."
-----YaoiDefender-----
"But you're still gay." The worm says, and Alastor's eye twitches, ears flicking with distaste.
"Mhmmm." Alastor hums, white knuckling his mic to keep himself from killing the poor creature.
"You look angry.. And gay." The worm says and looks as if it were smiling.
Alastor was at his wits end. Why was he even *arguing* with a *worm* of all things? He had better things to worry about.
"You never did answer my question about that deal." Alastor points out, hoping to shift the conversation into something he was better versed in. Something he would talk his way in and out of like it was breathing.
"Mmmmm.. But why not tell anyone the truth?" The worm asks innocently. /Surely not this is some angel in disguise to come torment me/
-----VinnyVox-----
"And if I *were* a homosexual, why would I go around advertising it?" Alastor asks, eyes narrowing.
"Because someone else is gay. Two someones. For you." The horrid creature proclaims.
"And how, pray tell, might one 'be gay' for another?" He grips his staff tightly, glaring down at the Worm.
"Hehehe... They're totally into you, man. Wanna get down n' dirty. And be all romantical." The wretched thing says in a suggestive tone. "Wanna know who?"
"Tch. I suppose so. Who do you believe is attracted to me?"
"For starters, the TV Demon." The Worm snickers.
"Well, he's made *that* painfully obvious. And the other supposed suitor?" Alastor rolls his eyes, his grin strained in annoyance.
"The big daddy in charge, the king of Hell." It says in a low voice, as if relaying gossip to a gal-pal.
"What." Alastor says simply. "Lucifer. Lucifer Morningstar?.. Oh, you've got to be kidding me. What kind of nonsense is this? He detests me." Alastor laughs.
"Oh yeah, he's almost as into you as the TV guy."
"And how exactly do you know this?"
"I know a lot of things, Mr. Twizzler Man~" The Worm taunts. "And I know that you're into them too. Hehe."
A shrieking sound resembling radio-static emanates from Alastor. "What kind of idiocy is this?! I barely tolerate Lucifer and I detest Vox. You know nothing of my life. Give me one good reason not to crush you against the pavement." His eyes turn to radio dials, as they so often do when he is upset. The Worm giggles knowingly.
"Because you could never destroy me. After all, I am but a figment of your imaginatio- AUGH" The vile being is silenced as Alastor steps on it, leaving it a smear on the sidewalk. So much for being a figment of his imagination. Now, come to think of it, where *are* Lucifer and Vox? Perhaps he should have a little chat with them.