Chapter Text
After Caine left the cast, bordering escaping from everyone’s death glare. They simply stand there, trying to process all they saw and heard. And yet, it left their minds in shambles. Being tempted by the thought of actually escaping the circus, only to have it ripped away. And after all this time, Caine still didn’t know just how desperate they were to leave and go back to normal lives.
But it was Jax who felt the complete opposite. While it could’ve been manipulated by Caine, the memories felt so real and vivid. He couldn’t stay calm with all the images flashing in his mind. And… he lost it.
Suddenly, Gangle was heard crying in the background. Zooble immediately held her and they both leave the area.
Ragatha watched the pair leave, desperately wanting to reach out. She huffed out a sigh and lowered her head. She went and grabbed Kinger and walked to the exit as well. Though Kinger hasn't really talked after Caine left. He's probably still processing things. In the meantime, Ragatha just pulled him away, hoping being in his pillow fort will help.
Pomni looked at her as she walked away, also feeling like reaching out. But at this point, no amount of kindness will help them right now. They all need some space until they're ready.
Pomni suddenly hears a thump. She turned back around and saw Jax on his knees.
Pomni carefully walked up to him. She stood next to him, but he never moved his head to look at her.
She stood there in silence for a bit. She’s already familiar with how much he’s been struggling. Well, somewhat familiar. She doesn’t know a lot of the details, but that isn’t first priority right now. She needs to comfort Jax and let him know she isn’t leaving him.
She sits next to him on the floor. “Hey.. Jax. Do you mind if I stay with you?”
There was brief silence before he could muster out a response. “I don’t care.” He said in a low voice.
Pomni felt a bit awkward, not knowing what to do. She tried to think of the most encouraging words she could say in this situation. “I know it’s been difficult for… all of us. And it’ll take time to process everything. But you don’t need to be alone-”
“Can it.” He suddenly cut her off. Pomni flinches slightly. “What’s even the point anymore? None of this matters. Like I’ve been saying this whole time…”
Pomni slightly looks down, feeling bad for him. She knew Jax was just acting like a jerk to push others away, but she also knows Jax just wants a connection with someone. Anyone. And she hopes she can provide that for him.
“...You seemed in a rush to hit the red button. May I ask why?”
Jax huffed a sigh. “I’d rather not say. Can you stop bothering me?” He said bitterly.
Pomni scooted a bit closer to him. “Jax, you don’t need to push people away. There’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable in front of others.”
He coiled a bit more into himself and hugs his legs. “Even when it ends up hurting other people?”
A slight realization crossed Pomni’s face. Something must've happened in the past that made him this way. While she doesn’t know the story behind it, she still wants to help him. But she also knows she probably shouldn't push him to talk about it. Not right now, but maybe one day.
“Look, I may not understand what happened before, but I don't think it was your fault. Or anybody's fault.”
Jax scoffed and rolled his eyes. “And how would you know that? You weren't here.”
“...How you feel is proof enough.”
Not expecting that response, he raised his head a bit. “What?”
“To me, you deeply regret what happened. Whether you did or didn't do something, you at least feel remorse for it. I’m sure everyone feels the same way. Don’t beat yourself up for it.”
Jax stuttered a bit. “I-I know. But there had to have been something I could’ve done. And yet, I ran. I ran away like a coward. God that was so stupid. Why did I do that?!”
Pomni stared at him a bit with a frown. She’s been trying her best to help him feel better, but she was out of her element. She knew exactly how to help the others. But someone like Jax can be very difficult, refusing to say anything about his past. Pomni wasn’t going to give up so easily though. Jax being the youngest one in the circus, he needed some kind of support. Some stability.
“We all make mistakes. But you can change, Jax. You can make things right, and start talking openly with everyone else. No one should ever feel alone in this situation.”
Jax wasn’t sure how to even respond to that. A part of him wanted to trust Pomni and believe her. But he also didn’t want to hurt her, which felt like a guarantee to him.
He lowered his head more and stayed quiet. That was when Pomni noticed his body was shaking a bit. He was still trying to push everything down, but it was more desperate this time.
She cautiously raised her hand and gently placed it on top of Jax’s hand.
He let out a quiet gasp, not expecting anyone to touch his hand. He turned his head to the side a bit, looking shocked from what Pomni just did.
“Jax, everything is going to be okay. I’m not going anywhere.”
There was a brief pause before sighing. “Thanks, I guess.” He said indifferently.
Despite seeming like he was dismissing this, Pomni knew otherwise. She quietly smiled to herself and stood up. “We should head back to our rooms and rest.” She extended a hand to Jax.
He first just stared at it for a few moments. Jax eventually grabbed her hand and allowed her to help him get back on his feet.
They ended up practically walking in some sort of rhythm together. They never knew how just in-step they were. But maybe it was best they didn’t know.
Once they reached the hallway, Pomni led Jax back to his room. When in front of the door, the two faced each other. “Let me know if you ever need something. My room is right across from yours.” She chuckled.
Jax still hasn’t said much. He seems almost in a stupor while trying to process things. He finally locked eyes with her. “Uh thanks.” He waved as he opened the door.
When Pomni starts to walk away, he pauses and looks over his shoulder one more time, then disappears into his room and closes the door.
After everything that happened, all he wants to do is lay down in his bed. And that's exactly what he did. He didn’t want to think about anything right now. And all he can do is sleep and escape from his reality.
He layed on his back and stared at the ceiling. He knew he still had that photo of him, Kaufmo, and Ribbit hanging out with each other. He certainly didn't want to remind himself of them right now.
He continued to stare up at the ceiling, letting his mind wander a bit.
He struggled hard to even keep his eyes open. Soon as the exhaustion kept piling up, Jax succumbed and fell into a deep sleep.
In the middle of the night, Pomni stepped out of her room. She couldn’t relax at all, so she thought about walking through the halls in hopes it might help her.
After stepping outside and closing the door behind her, she heard someone shouting. It didn’t take long for her to know who it was.
She approached Jax’s door and lightly knocked. “Jax? Are you okay?”
“Wait! I’m sorry!”
That was the only thing she could hear properly. And it shook her to her core.
Heart beating fast, she frantically tried thinking of what else to do. She tried just turning the doorknob, but it didn’t work. More panic began to settle in.
Running out of time and options, she panicked and kicked the door down.
She looked over and saw Jax sitting up in his bed, holding his legs up to his chest.
Pomni rushed to his side. She climbed onto his bed to get a better look at him. He was hyperventilating and hasn’t even noticed Pomni in front of him. Looking even closer, his eyes were frantic. Clearly having a panic attack.
Pomni got closer to him and looked up at his face. She grabbed one of his hands and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Jax, calm down. You’re okay. You’re safe.”
Still breathing heavily, Jax spoke for the first time since after Pomni came in. “I-I… I can’t. I can’t… fix this. Please come back…” His heart rate went higher. “Come back!! I’m sorry!!” He screamed.
While Pomni was even more freaked out about this, she kept holding Jax’s hand. “Hey, hey. It’s alright. I’m here.” She began gently rubbing his hand.
His heart rate went down a bit and his hyperventilating slowed down a little. “...What have I done?”
Pomni tried to get his focus on her. “Jax, listen to me. Focus on the sound of my voice. Okay?”
His eyes moved frantically until he finally looked at Pomni. It didn’t take much longer for him to calm down. His head started to clear up. “Pomni…?”
There was a look of relief on her face. “Oh thank god. Are you feeling better, Jax?”
“What… just happened?” He spots the partially broken door. “What the heck?! Why’d you break my door?!”
To that, Pomni chuckled nervously. “Uh, well… I heard something going on in here and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Jax rolled his eyes. “Eh, it’s fine. Caine will probably fix it later.”
There was a moment of silence until Pomni had the courage to say something. “Maybe you can come sleep in my room tonight. I can already see you’re tired.”
He scoffed. “C’mon. Your bed seems like it’ll hurt my back. My bed is already fixed up where I like it. Besides, I’m not that tired.”
Pomni knew he was bluffing. Obviously, he’ll never admit he wants someone here with him. But she can get him to confess eventually.
She smirked at him. “What, is there something you don’t want me to see?”
That got him to crack. He let out a sigh. “I guess there’s no way outta this one. Alright, fine. Then just sit in one of the chairs over there.”
She did as he said and dragged a chair near the bedside. “Alright, all set up. So goodnight Jax.” He didn’t say it back, but that’s not worth dwelling over. But at least Jax was able to easily fall asleep. She can hear him snoring. She smiled to herself. Almost an hour later, Pomni dozed off while still in the chair.
Not knowing how long it’s been, Pomni was startled by a noise. She looked at Jax and once again he was distressed.
She got up and got on top of the bed. Jax’s face was very strained as he continued something akin to whimpers.
This time, Pomni went the extra mile. She got herself under his blanket and layed right next to him.
She rubbed his arm delicately and repeated the same words from earlier. And it seemingly helped again.
Jax calmed down a bit faster this time. And the tension in his face started relaxing.
Suddenly, Jax rolled over and draped his arm across Pomni’s body. She blushed a lot and looked at him. He looked like nothing even happened.
Eventually Pomni just smiled at him. She rolled over and got closer to him. She gently wrapped her arms around Jax.
He curled up more, feeling peaceful and feeling the warmness of Pomni’s embrace.
She felt really comfortable as well. Soon she ended up burying her face in his fur. Both of them relaxed further.
Pomni closed her eyes and whispered. “Goodnight Jax.” Then drifted off herself.