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“Evangelista says she’s staying with Charlotte and the little ones. Says she’s happier here than she ever was in real life. The Daves are staying, too. And the Doctor is ready to go as soon as I join him.” Professor Song puts her hands on her hips, meeting Anita’s eyes. “So… that leaves you. It’s time to decide. Are you coming?”
Anita hesitates, taking deep, simulated breaths of fresh, simulated air.
She’s not sure she even believes what they’re telling her, that Doctor Moon is somehow a future incarnation of that Doctor they met in the library. It seems impossible, on so many levels. And, even stipulating it as true, she can’t begin to wrap her head around the thing he proposes to do.
“Do you really think he can do it?” she asks, frowning. “And you trust him? I mean, I liked him, both versions. But he didn’t tell the truth. And bringing us all back to life, just like that…”
The Professor raises an eyebrow. “It sounds like an offer from someone with an insane god complex, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“That would be because he has an insane god complex,” Professor Song replies. “A massive one. It’s infuriating and dangerous, and as far as I can tell he’s never really outgrown it.” She pauses. “But yes, I trust him, with my life and beyond. And I believe he can do it.”
Anita considers that.
In the data core, everything is safe.
“Last time we trusted him,” she points out, “we both died.”
“That wasn’t his fault.”
“I know,” Anita admits, and sighs a simulated sigh.
She can’t even remember what it feels like, to sigh real air. Surely it felt different from this. Did it feel different from this? She can’t remember.
It isn’t fair. None of this is fair. She never wanted to die, even when things were hard. She wanted to live, to breathe, to reach a ripe old age. She wanted to live. She wants to live…
Her face is wet, and she can’t tell if the simulated tears are pain or tentative joy. Maybe both.
“Keep it together,” says Professor Song, unusually gently.
“I’m only crying,” Anita returns, the words familiar on her tongue. “It’s not an overreaction.” She smiles, suddenly, though the tears are still falling, and knows that she’s made her decision. There was never any doubt, really. “I’m about to live.”