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1. the toughest part is that we both know (what happened to you, why you’re out on your own) by barnes_romzanov

   Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

   • Explicit
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • M/M
   • Work in Progress

   15 Mar 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
   • Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike
   • David Hollander & Yuna Hollander & Ilya Rozanov
   • Ilya Rozanov & Irina Rozanova
   • Shane Hollander
   • Ilya Rozanov
   • Irina Rozanova
   • Yuna Hollander
   • Hayden Pike
   • David Hollander
   • Svetlana Vetrova
   • Self-Harm
   • Past Suicide Attempts
   • Implied/Referenced Suicide
   • Depressed Ilya Rozanov
   • Angst with a Happy Ending
   • Hurt/Comfort
   • Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
   • Consent Issues
   • Miscommunication
   • No Character Bashing
   • they're both trying so hard to fix each other
   • Protective Shane Hollander
   • Protective Ilya Rozanov
   • Self-Worth Issues
   • shane gives ilya cuteness aggression
   • Past Child Abuse
   • Autistic Shane Hollander
   • they don’t have those exact words yet but they’ve been soft diagnosing each other for years
   • Shane Hollander Has an Eating Disorder
   • Established Relationship
   • Shane Hollander Whump
   • Ilya Rozanov Whump
   • Suicidal Ilya Rozanov
   • Ilya Rozanov Has ADHD
   • aka i heard his father call him “lazy” and RAN with it
   • Dissociation
   • Recovery
   • Eating Disorders
   • if you feed my shit into AI i will kill myself and it will be your fault

   Summary

   Ilya wasn’t trying to kill himself that night. Suicide is something that belongs to his mother- he’s just lazy, and he wishes Shane would stop making excuses for him.

   Shane has everything under control. His body is a tool, the one that’s given him both his career and his relationship, and he wishes Ilya would stop prying into the way he maintains it.

   or: Ilya learns a whole lot more about his mother, Shane remembers a whole lot more about his childhood, and they both get diagnosed.

   Series

   • Part 3 of Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   26,676

   Chapters:

   4/18

   Comments:

   306

   Kudos:

   1,294

   Bookmarks:

   396

   Hits:

   16,752