Work Text:
it’s after a show.
late 2016.
a city they’ve been to before.
it’s after a show, late 2016, deep in the heart of a city they’ve been to before. the venue was bigger this time and the crowds were louder and the setlist longer. it was a good show. but there was something off.
maybe it was the energy tonight, the way whenever Tyler looked at Josh, Josh smiled to the crowd and not to him.
maybe it was how Josh sped up the tempo a little too much for We Don’t Believe What’s On TV and Tyler had to race to keep up with him.
maybe it was how Josh left immediately after Trees, without any traditional ‘encOreos’ backstage and jokes in the dressing room waiting for him. he asked Mark where Josh had gone and Mark waved his hands noncommittally toward the buses, murmuring something about ‘being busy’. Tyler assumed he meant Josh was busy, so now he’s sitting outside against their bus, texting Jenna and waiting for his best friend to come out.
Josh has been acting distant lately. more so than he usually is and Tyler doesn’t know why. it’s not due to the anxiety of performing. at least, he doesn’t think so. they’ve been on tour for weeks. while in the beginning Josh would be a wreck of nerves, withdrawing from people and beating his drums a little too hard during soundcheck, now he’s just… Josh. albeit a little lot cooler and quieter than usual, but still his Josh.
Tyler doesn’t know why tonight should be any different. he’s expecting Josh to come out any minute now or perhaps invite him in, and they’ll hang out and talk about the show before bidding each other goodnight. there will likely be some food thrown in there, maybe some video games and other people too. it will just be normal.
he checks the time and gulps in a breath of the city air. Jenna hasn’t responded to his text yet either. he suddenly feels a pang of remorse as he realizes that she’s probably sleeping. could Josh be asleep?
probably not. he’s usually on too much of a high after shows to just go to bed.though, maybe Tyler is wrong. maybe Josh has still been anxious lately and he just needs some time alone. but here, in a city they’ve been to many times before, with crowds that scream their lyrics back at them? Tyler can’t see why the drummer would be nervous enough to need this much time after the show to be alone.he checks the time again. 5 minutes have passed since he last looked. he’s getting impatient and his clothes feel gross and honestly he wants to figure out what is going on with Josh. with a little heave, he rises to his feet and unlocks the bus door.
darkness greets him, and he savors its presence. it's seemingly quiet. he takes a step in and gently shuts the door behind him. the first thing he hears a soft groan. for a second he thinks Josh is hurt, before hearing another and another in rapid succession. his next thought is that he’s caught Josh masturbating (wouldn’t be the first time) when he hears a slightly high pitched whine.
“Pl-please,” a voice moans, foreign to Tyler’s ears. Josh growls something in return and Tyler is frozen, his body flushed with memories of years ago when Josh only made those noises for him.
he knows he should leave - what kind of creep listens to their best friend fucking someone, especially when they were talking to their wife a few minutes ago? - but all he can think of is how he used to be the one whining and begging for more, more, more. he remembers the way the other man’s lips were satin against his hot skin, the way his body quivered with heat and need. how sickly sweet, their love had been. how tempting and tantalizing it still was.
a morbid curiosity encapsulates Tyler, and his hands shake with anticipation. he needs to know who Josh is with. is it one of his exes? is it Debby? he’s pretty sure Debby was the last girl Josh was with, and before that there was Tyler. with the gentlest of movements, he takes a tiny step up the bus stairs. the moans are perfuming the air and Tyler’s blood sours, envy and possession polluting his thoughts.
Josh is his .
he takes another step up the ascent.
Josh is not his.
his feet softly land on the padding of the carpet.
no, Josh is only his.
cautiously, he turns his head around the corner. oh.
Josh is, in this situation, definitely not his.
the man in question has his head tossed back, practically glowing in the moonlight, mouth open obscenely, muttering incoherent combinations of curses and praise. a figure is crouched in between his wide splayed legs, head bobbing up and down vigorously. Tyler watches their technique, a little disgusted. is Josh really enjoying it this much? if he remembers correctly, Josh definitely likes it much slower and rhythmic. apparently, he does because without warning, Josh finishes loudly and the figure pulls off with a pop, choosing to let Josh finish on their face instead of swallowing. Tyler silently shakes his head. Josh didn’t like to finish on Tyler’s face. he thought it was too degrading.
slowly, the person snakes their way onto Josh’s lap. they’re having a hushed conversation of whispers and giggles, piercing Tyler with how (dare he think it?) in love they sound. as Tyler is watching the two kiss and grind messily, he suddenly becomes aware of how broad the other person’s shoulders are and how short their hair is. so it’s not Debby. he’s a guy - and not one Tyler knows. Josh would have introduced him, right? … right?
"I love you," the man murmurs to Josh, and it's like a dagger to the chest.
"I love you, too," Josh replies, and suddenly Tyler is underwater and drowning. this can't possibly be real, can it?
he feels numb. he’s angry and jealous and confused and hurt, but mostly he’s numb.
it would have hurt less if it were a woman - hell, Tyler’s married to one himself, he understands - but Josh has the audacity to date a different man? Tyler was supposed to be the only one for Josh. forever.
Josh is his. that's how it's supposed to be. yet as he watches the two lovers caress and touch each other in a way that was once so familiar to him, after a show here in a city they have been to before, he comes to the realization that Josh was his.
but Josh is someone else’s now.