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It is a humid summer night when David’s world flips.
Sure, being hopelessly in love with your best friend shouldn't have too much of an impact when it's just the two of you sitting together, eyes cast over the view of a sleeping city, a light breeze tussling your hair. No, drowning so deep in his seeming everlasting love shouldn't affect the comfortable silence the two boys are sitting in. But David Jacobs, ever the over-thinker, is sitting there with his pulse racing and his palms profusely sweating.
Since when was he so useless around Jack? He tries to focus on something other than his racing mind.
And, as usual, his deep blue gaze lands on Jack. The sight takes David's breath away- literally, it hitches.
Jack's head is tilted back towards the sky, delicate hazel eyes gazing up at the stars above them. David should probably be doing the same, they are especially bright tonight, but Jack is… Jack is the most beautiful thing David's ever seen. He searches for something, anything to say to fall back into the easy conversations they always do, but he's afraid to break the fragile silence between them.
David can't bring himself to tell Jack just how breathtaking he is, can't bring himself to finally let it out of his system and be at peace with his emotions once more. David doesn't dare move a muscle; he’s afraid that Jack will jolt back to reality with a joke and yet another tease. They never have these silent, peaceful moments between them. It's new, it's rare, and it's exciting.
When he finally tears his eyes away from Jack, he settles on the horizon where the tall buildings of New York meet the everlasting indigo sky. He is content to hold his silence if it means they can stay in this newfound comfort. Even if it crushes his heart to admit it, he knows there can never be anything there. His mistake is when he glances back at Jack again.
The man is staring at him with such a soft, vulnerable look on his face that Dave freezes. There's something new in the air now. Something tense and startling. But Dave doesn't want to back down as usual. He holds Jack's unreadable, molten gaze and wills himself to peer deeper. He doesn't want to coax Jack with words, but ever so slowly the pure emotion in Jack's face unravels itself. Jack wears an expression of intricate yearning, so complicated that any other one of the newsboys would read it as withdrawal. But David knows better than that. He knows Jack better than that. Dave isn't normally at a loss for words, but now he's so choked up with raw emotion and confusion that he simply cannot speak. Luckily, he doesn't have too.
“Ya’ know, ya’ remind me of them stars.” Jack says, speaking in a low tone that Dave has never heard him speak before. Thrill climbs up his spine. This is all electrifyingly new… but it feels right.
“What do you mean?” David immediately hates how weak he sounds, as if his soul is laid bare for Jack to investigate and prod at as he pleases.
“Well I-... I dunno, ‘s stupid.” Jack sighs and ducks his head. David also hates how panic immediately seizes his throat.
“C’mon Jackie, you can’t just drop that on me and say nothing else.” Dave urges Jack on, searching for answers in that lost expression. When Jack says nothing, he shoves his shoulder lightly. “I'm waitingggg.” This draws an affectionate smile from Jack which makes Dave's heart flutter.
“Fine. Ya’ win. You remind me of them… in every way, really. Them stars, even in the darkest, the harshest, the bleakest of nights, always appear to bring light.” Jack's voice has a slight tremble in it, as if he had not expected the night to continue like this. David is frozen still, a statue of anticipation and longing. His mind is a jumbled puzzle, but it seems as if Jack's words are slowly giving him clarity as he continues. “And they… they have this complexity to them? Like, no matter how close ya look, there's always somethin’ more ta’ them. They ain't simple in any way, but that's the beauty of it.” Jack is rambling now, but David has no means of objection. Is this how Jack has been feeling about him? And for how long? His thoughts are there and gone in an instant; Dave feels like Jack is putting in some kind of spell. His heart races. He can focus on nothing but the anxiety swimming in Jack's eyes, and the strange, unwavering clarity alongside it. Jack still talks, and Dave's heart still unravels for all the world to see. “All the chaos and intricacy of them, it… it cancels out to form this gorgeous constellation of everything you could- I could ever be searchin’ for. And I mean, who could ever look away from that?” Jack chuckles softly at that, gazing at David through thick brown eyelashes. God, has Dave ever mentioned how beautiful he finds him? “But that’s not all. That whole thing about the north star guiding you home? Well… I know it's stupid and sappy and romantic but-” he takes a quick breath. “Davey, you's my north star. Whenever I'se feelin’ lost and out of reach and y’know, pretty much destroyed… you're always there, guiding me back to reality, to home. And that home doesn’t always have to be a place. It can be a person. And that person… that person really feels like he’s you.” Jack's voice is so timid and quiet when he stops talking that David wouldn't be able to hear it if they weren't so close together. Wait, when had they moved closer?
“I…” For once in his life, Dave cannot form a simple sentence.
“I’m not good with words like you are. I’m an artist, not a poet. But… it had to be said in one way, didn’t it?” Jack's eyes are shut tight in an effort to… to what? David can't think straight anymore.
“What did? What are you trying to say, Jack?” He probed gently. Please, Jack. Give me an answer.
“I don't know.” Jack's voice is exasperated, tired.
“Yes, you do. I know you.” Davey replies in a firm tone. Incertitude pounds at his mind. “You can't just-”
“You know what? Nevermind!” With that, Jack has swung up to his feet and is ready to leave. David scrambles up next to him. “Let’s just forget everything I've said and done in the past half an hour and call it a night, yeah?” Jack is waving his hands around frantically, and his regret-racked eyes are darting anywhere but Dave.
“Wha- Jack! Where are you going? Jack Kelly!” David’s voice is wild now, raised in tune with his racing emotions.
“I’m sure Race or Specs or Crutchie needs help with something, I’ll just go see-”
“Jack.” Dave catches Jack by the shoulders and forces him to turn around.
“Davey. Please.” Jack’s eyes finally meet David’s, and they hold such a pleading intensity in them that David wants to back away. But he can’t. Not when he’s this close to answers.
“Jackie… You…” Thinkthinkthinkthinkthink! “Well, if I'm your stars, you're my sun!” Dave’s voice cracks as he forces the words out.
“What?” Jack’s voice is small, almost defeated. But somewhere in there is a glimmer of hope, and Dave strives to build off of that. Cmon. Don’t give in now. Think!
“Y-you heard me! You are my sun, in the way that you light up every single day.” With that, Jack's face melts into something so tender and vulnerable that it could be broken by a whisper of the wind. His eyes widen, full of dazzling starlight. “And I know that sounds plain and cliche and simple, but it’s the truth. And I speak for everyone when I say this.” As he speaks, David notices the tiny victories he's scoring. Jack's features are softening. His posture is relaxed, no longer fighting for escape. “From the times when it's a bad day because of my schoolmates, or my pops isn't doing so well, or me and Les haven’t sold enough papes, it's always you. You're always there, giving people reassurance, hope, guidance.” Dave knows he isn't making sense in the slightest, but what can one man say when he's caught in the moment on the borderline of friendship and something finally more? “And- and you know solar eclipse’s, right? Well, it felt like one happened to me as soon as you swung your beautiful, complicated self right into my life. It was like the moment I got to know you, the real you-” David smiles and reaches a hand to Jack's cheek.”-all the darkness seemed to slowly seep away. You, in all your wondrous, exciting, deep, bright self saved me. You healed me, Jack. And I am honoured to be able to be in your… your company.” He whispers the last statement, barely registering anything other than the boy in front of him. “You have this warmth about you that makes it just impossible to draw away. So tell me again, Jack. What you really mean. Because I might be delusional, but I can tell there's something… unresolved between us. And I don't want to lose you. I can’t lose you, do you hear me?” Jack's breath catches as he leans into David’s touch. “You are everything to me- believe me when I say I don't say that lightly. Please, Jack. Let me be your stars, your sun, your moon, your universe, your everything. Because I know for certain that you’re everything to me.”
David's words echo through his own mind, and shame floods through him. Soul out in the open, waiting for Jack's answer. It almost doesn't come. But finally, he whispers something to David:
“You really are something, you know that?” His voice is tender and gorgeous, and the way he's gazing at Dave? Well, it's a look he thinks he might go through hell and back to earn again. Dave lets out a breathy laugh. A dopey smile dawns on Jack's face, and god Dave could kiss him right there.
“Ain’t so bad yourself, Cowboy.” he whispers back with a slight smirk tilting his lips.
“I- i’m sorry.” Jack ducks his head bashfully. Adorable, David thinks. Still, he reaches a hand out and draws Jack's face back to face his own.
“For what? Jackie, you have nothing to be sorry about.”
“I know… I just- God, Davey. What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?” Jack's smile mirrors David's own- he can see it in those shining eyes. Dave laughs quietly, utterly infatuated.
“Baffles me too. Still can’t quite figure it out myself…” Dave looks up for a moment in mock thoughtfulness.
Jack crinkles his nose.
“Shut up, Mouth.” He teased and bumps Dave's shoulder.
“Make me!” The words come out quicker than expected- well, David hadn't expected himself to say them at all. For a moment, David worries that he's said the wrong thing, but Jack smiles devilishly (well, he certainly tries to) and raises an eyebrow.
“Is that an order?” He mocks, and damn his voice is an octave lower than it was before. Dave is so screwed. But- all Dave can think of is the feeling of how good Jack's lips would be on his- so naturally, he obliges into his will.
“You bet it is.” Dave's voice is filled with eagerness and want, but Jack doesn't take much notice. Jack, however, is more interested in rubbing a thumb over Dave’s cheekbone, then his chin, then finally his bottom lip. Dave revels in the sensation.
“Well, if you insist.” Jack leans in closer, so daringly closer that it seems impossible for someone to not close the gap between them. But, ever the tease, of course he leaves it just slightly there. Dave's throat goes dry. He needs Jack bad.
“I…” The noise comes out of his mouth unexpectedly, and his face slightly blushes.
“What are ya, nervous?” Jack speaks in a low, almost gravelly murmur. And that look in his goddamn beautiful eyes - yeah that really does it for David.
“You wish.” And with that, he curls his hand around Jack's collar and kisses him. When their lips meet, David expects a fire of heat, passion, and utmost desire. He expects a bruising battle of lust between the two, but he is met with something… different. Jack tastes like a sweet symphony- the glorious harmony of love, acceptance, and want all resounding clearly in his mind as he kisses deeper and sweeter into the other boy. Their tongues intertwine passionately, but there's no tension behind it. David feels like he was born to kiss, to feel, to love Jack. And that he does so well. Dave has never been one to believe in soulmates, but here under the glowing stars and here pressed up against this beautiful man? Well, he lets himself indulge in that fantasy. He lets the kiss linger for a moment or two, and then, slowly, reluctantly, pulls away. Dave can't help but smile at the look of awe and desperation on Jack's face afterwards. Jack's eyes are shining, and Dave is sure his own are mirroring the look. They breathe in peaceful tandem, their breaths shared in the small space between them. Jack is the one to break the silence.
“Davey… that was…” His voice is tender, and Dave's heart flutters. I caused that.
“Who’s speechless now, huh?”
Jack lets out a breathless laugh and bumps Dave's shoulder half-heartedly. He leans in for another kiss-
“Jack, wait.” Awareness and caution flood Jack’s expression. David doesn't know why he's saying this.
“What is it, sugar?” He asks, voice as low and gentle as the breeze cooling them.
“Before this goes anywhere, I need you to know.” Dave can't stop himself. Walking mouth or not, he needs to say this.
“Know… know what?” Jack trails a hand up Dave's arm delicately until it reaches Davey's cheekbone and rests there, stroking idly. He sucks in a breath. Well, no going back now.
“Well, I for one, am completely and utterly head over heels in love with you.” Jack's eyes snap to his own, practically glowing with delight. “If that wasn’t already obvious.” Dave smiles hopefully. Pleaseee tell me I didn't just ruin everything. Jack huffs a low chuckle.
“Yeah well, the whole sun analogy thing kinda gave it away…” He trails off, grinning at Dave and sighing with content. “I love you too. God, I love ya’ so much it's painful, you got that?”
Davey might look back at the moment and think of himself as a hopeless idiot, but god there have never been words that have sounded better to hear. He leans in, and Jack is already waiting. And when their lips meet for the second time, it's like fireworks.
“Jackie.”
“Davey.” His heart flutters at the nickname.
“What do we tell the others?”
Jack rolls his eyes at that. “The others can wait till tomorrow-” Jack's voice is thick with intent, and Dave would be lying if he said he didn't blush. “-because right now, all I want to think about is you. And you know, who needs anyone else when we've got each other and the galaxy?”
“That's so…” David laughs and shakes his head.
“Eh, you love me.”
“Yeah,” Davey has never heard anything truer. “I really do.”