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It’s raining on Ahch-To tonight.
Heavy, cleansing rain that drowns out even the sound of the waves.
Thick, fat, worms writhe from the earth, twisting in delight under the downpour.
The sea birds take their young out into the storm, as if the power of the rain could somehow seep into the bones of their children. The chicks look miserable, but in a humorous way. Their downy fuzz is no protection from the rain.
I like that.
There wasn’t much rain on Tatooine. There was too much rain on Dagobah.
Tonight I’m sitting in a cave,
watching the rain
And I’m thinking about Han.
Leia will be planning a funeral right about now. Or maybe not now. Maybe in a while. But she’ll be strong and grim-faced, until the door closes and she is left alone. There will be tears then, and I will join her weeping.
But not yet.
Chewie will hide his pain, but he does not possess the ability to stay quiet for long. His grief will be shared only with the empty silence in the Falcon .
But not yet.
A little rodent with impossibly big ears scurries into the light of the fire. He does so often. I normally feed him, but not tonight. I named him Ben.
The sound of the rain drowns out everything else.
I don’t know how it happened, but I knew the moment it did. I wonder if it was a grand and daring rescue, or a heroic sacrifice. Maybe it was a mundane accident, an old man running out of luck.
Perhaps.
But I know better. There is a sharpness to my sister’s pain that can only mean one thing. She’s grieving for more than her husband.
He lives in my memories as a blur of dangerous grins and unconscious swagger. Impulsive, yet predictable. A man of risk and habit.
Did he die fighting the great conflict within the galaxy? I like to think so. No other death is worthy of him.
There’s been an awakening (or two? I cannot tell. I am an old man and I doubt myself). The Force has told me that my part in this is not done. Trouble is coming (and hope, and pain), and it will be here soon.
But not yet.
Tonight, I am content to sit,
and close my eyes,
and listen.
It’s raining on Ahch-To tonight.