Work Text:
“Dana? What are you doing here?” Cassie asks, frowning worriedly at the nurse standing in her doorway. The woman is soaked, still in her scrubs, and tears gleam in exhausted hazel eyes. Cassie looks into the hallway, trying to figure out where she came from. Dana’s gaze has shifted from her face to the floor, she still hasn’t said anything.
"Come in, let's get you dry." Cassie takes one of Dana's trembling hands and gently pulls her inside, trying to keep her panic in check. This is bizarre, unheard of even. Dana is the glue that holds the ED together, she doesn't crack, doesn't show emotion. She's incredibly private and certainly doesn't show up on a random residents doorstep looking like a drowned rat. She stands in Cassie's living room, dripping and shaking, lips pressed in a tight line, unspeaking.
Feeling entirely out of her element, Cassie lets herself slip back into doctor mode. Assess, diagnose, treat. Dana won't talk, that's okay she can deal with that. She doesn't look hurt, there was no call from Al-Hashimi telling her to expect the worst. Probably just overwhelmed, it happens to everyone (not Dana) she can help with that. First things first, the wet clothes. Hypothermia is unlikely but not impossible if they don't get her changed. Not to mention just how uncomfortable she must be in her current attire.
"Okay hun," petnames are not part of her usual dynamic but she knows Dana lays them on thick. "Lets get you into something dry. Can you follow me?" Clear instructions, simple but with the chance to opt out. She won't force Dana into anything, won't make her do anything she doesn't want to do. Let her feel in control but steer her toward the safest choices. She holds out a hand for the woman to take, it worked pretty well to get her into the apartment so she figures it can't hurt to continue. Dana obliges her and Cassie feels the knot in her chest unwind just slightly. This isn't good, but it's progress.
Cassie leads her to the bathroom and deposits her on the toilet, guiding her to sit with a gentle push. A shower is quickly ruled out, she will not put Dana in that situation right now. She darts to her bedroom and grabs her comfiest clothes, a thick wool sweater and black sweatpants. Dana has (thankfully) not moved from her position, but tears have started to roll slowly down her cheeks. That hurts. All of this hurts, but the crying makes it a lot more real. Cassie isn't an emergency medicine doctor treating a patient in a controlled environment, she's an off duty resident and Dana is someone she cares a little too much about who wandered to her apartment in the middle of the night.
"You think you can change or do you want some help?" The offer is genuine, holds no strings or implied malice. She wants to help, she wants to fix whatever it is that made Dana so upset.
The blonde gives a stiff nod, raising her arms slightly to indicate that she will take the assist. Cassie very gently removes the soaked top and runs a fluffy towel across damp skin, pausing every few moments to make sure that it's okay. Dana doesn't fight her, doesn't pull away, just lets her work with practiced precision. Quick but gentle, she dries Dana off and gets her fully changed into clothes that swallow her. Cassie regrets that she doesn't own anything smaller, but there's not much to be done about that.
She looks dramatically different now, smaller and less in control. Her hair is still damp but Cassie isn't going to do anything about it unless she asks. She owns a hairdryer, but she doesn't want to spring that on Dana unless requested. It's loud and hot and can be overwhelming on even the best of days.
"What do you want to do here Dana?" Cassie asks softly, taking still cold hands in hers. Her wedding band is missing, it's been gone for a few weeks. Cassie had deliberately chosen not to comment on it, that's entirely none of her business.
Dana's eyes meet hers for a brief moment, they swirl with grief and fear and an overwhelming sadness that causes a lump to form in Cassie's throat. She wants to find whoever made Dana feel this way and break them in the same way they've broken her. She will go to war for this woman, no questions asked. The blonde is still crying. Not violent heaving sobs or low wails, just silent tears accompanied by the occasional shaky breath. She's still present, definitely aware of her surroundings, not gone in some corner of her mind. There's not much good to focus on so Cassie clings to that.
"Okay," she murmurs, making the decision that she knows Dana can't. "It's late, you have to be exhausted. You can take my bed."
She half expects Dana to say no, to turn on her heel and leave, to tell her that this is a boundary that cannot be crossed. They are coworkers, they are supposed to be professional, they are not supposed to see each other like this. But that ship has sailed. It left port the moment she decided to knock on Cassie's door.
Dana gives another very tense nod, only moving to stand when Cassie does so first. No hand is offered this time, it seems unneeded, and the two walk in tandem towards the doctors bedroom.
Cassie pulls back the covers on the unused side of the bed, fluffing the pillow carefully. She doesn't really know what the best course of action is here, she feels completely out of her element. Thankfully if Dana notices she doesn't comment.
The nurse climbs gingerly into the bed, exhaustion flowing off of her in waves. Cassie can tell simply by the way that she moves that she's grateful for the offer of rest in a safe space. Moving on instinct Cassie pulls the blankets up around her thin form, pausing to brush a few strands of platinum hair from her forehead. She pulls away quickly, suddenly embarrassed by her lack of control. She would never touch a patient this way. Except Dana isn't her patient. She needs to remember that. This isn't work. This is the furthest thing from it.
"Stay?" Dana croaks, the first word she's spoken since Cassie found her in the doorway. The doctor pauses for a moment, caught slightly off guard. Of course she'll stay, she'll do whatever Dana wants, she would find a way to give this woman the sun if she wanted it. She lets a smile cross her face, beginning to let herself slip out of the work persona.
"Of course. Do you want anything before I lay down? Water? Food? An extra blanket?" She knows she will need to get Dana something to eat eventually, but it seems unlikely that she'll want to do that now. The slight shake of her head is exactly what Cassie expects, but it's still a little painful.
"Okay sweetheart." Cassie very carefully pulls herself under the blankets, afraid that she might break something in Dana if she moves too quickly. She doesn't want to startle the woman, doesn't want to do anything that could make this worse.
Cassie lays her head against the pillow and rolls on her side to face the other woman, unable to see much outside of a rough outline of her face. She's staring at the ceiling and based on the way she's breathing she hasn't stopped crying. Cassie wracks her brain, thinking of anything she can do. She has one last idea, one last ditch effort to provide maximum possible comfort.
"C'mere ," Cassie opens her arms and Dana —beautiful, smart, physically affectionate Dana— curls close latching onto her shirt with still trembling hands. Cassie lets out a breath, relief flooding her body. This isn't great, it's not amazing, it isn't even good, but it's better. She rests her chin on Dana's head, making sure she's fully enveloped in the hug. The dam breaks. One loud, shuddering sob falls into her chest and Cassie presses her lips against finally drying hair.
"I've got you. I'm right here. I've gotcha." She soothes, a surge of protectiveness washing over her. Cassie doesn't know how long they stay like that, her whispering reassurances while Dana sobs, but eventually her cries die down into little sniffles and her breathing evens out. Her muscles finally relax, though her fingers remain tangled in Cassie's sweatshirt.
"I don't think I can do it anymore." Dana whispers into Cassie's chest, the worlds barely audible even in the otherwise silent room. Cassie's stomach twists and she pulls the other woman a bit closer, she has no idea how to respond to that. In truth, she's considered the same thing. Considered walking out one day and never going back. She really can't blame Dana for the hesitation, cant blame her for being done. She knows it's not the first time the charge nurse has struggled with these thoughts, but who is Cassie to tell her that she should keep fighting?
"You wanna talk about it?" She finally asks, her own voice raw with emotion. Dana shakes her head, never moving from her spot nestled against Cassie.
"Okay. Rest, we'll have a conversation in the morning."
Dana doesn't argue, neither of them really have the energy for that right now. They'll both sleep, probably not well, but it's better than saying awake all night stewing in emotion. Each is comforted by the others presence. Cassie will never say it out loud but she finds herself borderline glad that Dana came over. Of course she would've preferred it under different circumstances, but she hadn't wanted to spend another night alone in the empty apartment. They're both so tired of being alone.