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Language:
English
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Published:
2026-03-25
Updated:
2026-03-25
Words:
362
Chapters:
1/?
Comments:
9
Kudos:
8
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4
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184

Tommy Innes' Guide To Getting Strangers Off Your Fucking Territory (the stairs creak now and the silence hurts.)

Summary:

Tommy Innes was six when his guardian, Dream, killed him. He'd long since forgotten why Dream had been so mad. it had been years. Tommy would be in uni now if he hadn't died. The house he'd died in had stayed uninhabited for years, people always left once they saw him or once they heard that a child had been killed there. But these three fucking weirdoes refuse to leave, no matter how much fuckery he pulls. One of them, a tall fuck with a tory ass accent, seems to know who he is. Somehow.

PLEASE DO NOT READ IF UNCOMFY WITH THINGS MENTIONED IN TAGS
TAGS ARE VERY IMPORTANT
PLEASE READ

OR

Tommy is dead and now 3/4 sbi are living in the house he died in, crimeboys specific

OR OR

crimeboys because my heart hurts and i miss them
and golden duo

Notes:

my first (technically second, but quotev up and killed itself before i actually ever got any good.) fic that im writing, and probably my only. if i post like, two chapters and people find it and really like it and make fanart and want more, i'll add more. but it'll probably become an unfinished fic just like my other one. good luck to me and my finicky ass writing, i guess.
also
we are now beta'd
isn;t that nice?
uploads will be finicky, as will my writing length. i'll probably start out short chapters, just so i don't pour my heart and soul into this for it to rot at the bottom of searches.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: I am a stranger / To my own benefit.

Summary:

they have a talk
or something
i dont have a name for this poem
gyahabahahah

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Bird, please just listen to me. It’s not that hard to just get used to people living there. It’s been years since The Incident. You can’t act like the house still belongs to you.”

“Yes I can! It hasn’t even been ten years! Boo! Didn’t you say it’s normally ten years before people start moving in?”

“Well, yes, typically. But it has been ten years, Bird. Bee is right. I died three years ago. You died seven years ago. While I do find it odd that other people have lived in the house before now, it’s possible nobody knew what had happened.”

“What the hell are you weirdos on about? … And why are you using those stupid code names again?” Purpled asked, entering the room, and finally turning on the lights, disorienting Tubbo in the process, and bathing Tommy and Ranboo’s translucent forms in the harsh light. They were currently in Purpled’s house, more specifically the spare room, since Punz always got freaked out seeing Ranboo. If Ranboo was over, then Tommy usually was as well. Punz hated Tommy, mainly due to Tommy constantly messing with him, since Punz couldn’t naturally see him, and Tommy didn’t want Punz to see him, as Tommy had far too much fun messing with Punz.

“... Oh hey! Purpled, we should go over to the Craft house to greet them!” Tubbo said, grinning.

“I— what?! Tubbo, no! You can’t!” Tommy said, panicking, and so he made himself intangible, and began to repeatedly float through Tubbo, trying to make him as uncomfortable as possible to cause Tubbo to reconsider. Tubbo ignored him.

“... We could probably do that. Just have to get Punz’s permission first. He’d probably be glad to get Tommy out of his hair, honestly…” Purpled muttered, actually considering the idea. That made Tommy pissed. Purpled was his friend! His! So why was Tubbo’s idea getting consideration?! Sure, Tubbo was Purpled’s brother… But that didn’t matter! Purpled had said that Tommy came first. So why was he so interested in meeting the neighbors now, when he’d been indifferent when Tommy had complained about them? Why did Tubbo mentioning them make Purpled interested in visiting? It wasn’t fair.

Notes:

WE HAVE A BETA
boi this chapter so bummy
im such a chungy
No, it's thursday bro

Notes:

titles will be lines from my poems! all original work here
i dont use ai. i never will. i would rather produce short slop than use ai. i would rather be hated for posting stupid and terribly made bullshit than use ai.