Archive of Our Own

Black and white, it’s simply how the world worked.

Any shade of gray wasn’t worth psycho-analyzing. It was a waste of time, and time was finite.

Two sides, that much was clear. That much was what was driven into his mind as a young child. A prodigy, one destined to be a great exorcist from the moment he was born. Like his father, grandfather, and all that had come before him. He followed in their path. The exorcist life was cold, but his foot fit into the snowy footprints left behind by the family that had come before him. There was no choice but to step in each of those open footprints, imprinting on the snow further. Trudging through the storm, the life of an exorcist. Teru had a job, and like his ancestors, he wouldn’t be distracted by the basic pleasantries of life. 

There was no time for that, not when he spent each night exorcizing the apparitions in the city. School, student council, and exorcizing; that’s just how his life was. Teru wishes that he could spend more time at home with family, and tries to do what he can. However, he knows what he needs to do and the sacrifices he has to make for them to live a semi-normal life. Summer break was soon, meaning he would be able to see them more, but first was midterms.

This wouldn’t be an issue for Teru. He was a prodigy with a photographic memory, even without having time to study he managed to excel in school.

The issue in this was the things at stake. Frankly, Teru would not like to owe Akane a favor.

It still wouldn’t be hard to beat him. Again, that photographic memory can truly do wonders. The only thing that worried him in this was Akane’s determination. Even with the two of them in the student council room handling paperwork, Akane was diligent. He worked quickly, more than eager to get home and study.

The effort was adorable, almost. How hard he was trying to win. All so that Teru could keep a safe and comfortable distance from Aoi. It was what Akane desired from anyone of the male species, really. The only difference between them and Teru was Teru had a chance. As the known prince of the school, it would only make sense he would end up with the princess. “A match made in heaven”, he’s heard too many people say. Who wouldn’t think they’d be an iconic couple?

Teru wouldn’t, that’s who.

He had no desire to date Aoi. Not at all. She was a nice girl, as nice as anyone could get. Everything you spoke to her, it was like you were being force-fed candy. Not even candy, just pure sugar. Aoi was a part of the gardening club, seen caring for the beautiful flowers around the school. Kind to everyone, always respectful to her teachers. There wasn’t a single person that could say anything bad about Aoi. 

She was far too similar to Teru. Smiles presented to anyone. It was less stressful to have people love you rather than hate you. No one would desire to be hated, so why try to be anything one could hate. Why be rude, why be selfish, why present yourself in a demeaning way? Teru wasn’t sure how Aoi saw it, but no one was that nice just for the sake of being kind and benevolent. 

So kind, of course anyone would like her. That’s why it was so easy to trick Akane into thinking that he did. That certainly was the thing that riled him up when it came to their deal. 

“That cute girl.”

Teru stepped closer, leaning down till they were face to face. He had left Akane on the floor, wrapped up in his beads. There was a grin on his face, Akane’s dumbfounded expression was almost enough to make him break character. But he wouldn’t laugh, not just yet.

“What was her name again… Akane-san?” He continued, watching as the other’s eye had such a slight twitch. Like the idea of Teru even speaking about Aoi was irritating. God, it was cute. “If I were to confess to her, what kind of face would she make?”

“What?!?” Akane yelled, distressed. “Don’t you find that a bit low?! You want to compete with me that badly?!”

“Yup!”

“Son son of a–!!”

It wasn’t as though Teru was doing this just to compete. That favor was important, it meant much more to him than Akane was realizing. Even with all of the moments Akane had seen right through Teru’s charm, it was funny how easily he could be baited into irritation. 

And their competition began. Teru had managed to secure enough time for himself, putting that into his studies. And despite the sacrificed sleep, he got a lot done. He worked, textbook after textbook, practically memorizing each one. It was as if there was nothing else going on, as if it was just him and his studies. That was until his alarms blared, reminding him of his duties as an exorcist he attended to at nightfall.

However, Teru wasn’t the only one studying. Their meetings in the council room were spent in silence as Akane worked, glasses off, rubbing the sleep from his eyes every few minutes. Again, he was diligent. It wasn’t often he left early, but Teru found himself in the council room alone far too often lately, his vice having left after quickly rushing through his duties. 

A shame really. There were days where Teru wished to take off his bracelet, wrapping those beads around the boy’s ankles. He would demand to be let down while Teru would chuckle, making a remark about Akane leaving far too soon. And the bickering would continue until Teru felt partially satisfied with how much time they spent together.

Key words being partially satisfied.

Alas, Teru left him alone. After all, Akane was busy being a hard worker. He truly thought he could beat Teru, and god was that effort just so hilarious. So freaking cute.

Their competition was eventually over. Apparently, Akane’s studying had paid off. He managed to take the leaderboard by storm with a perfect score, earning himself third place overall in the school. Not a single question wrong on any subject. His determination was admirable, and there was no doubt he was proud of himself. Proud that he’d finally be able to get Teru at an extremely comfortable distance from his precious Aoi.

Unfortunately for him, even perfect performances can be blown out of the water.

Teru had scored extra credit points for going above and beyond on his written answers. Akane must’ve been so concerned about getting every question correct that he didn’t put effort into explaining his answers. It was because of this that Teru triumphed. 

Of course, Akane was displeased about this. Yelling about fairness and such. His complaints were extremely loud, earning a smirk from Teru. It also earned him a good shock.

“You have a nasty habit of failing to show proper respect for your elders.” Teru said as the boy in front of him dropped to the floor in an ear retching yell, far louder than his previous comments. 

“AAAAAAUUUGH!!”

“You should think about fixing that.” Teru added before putting his sword away. He stood above the other, watching as the vice scrambled to a more kneeling position. Better, much more respectful. “And since I won, I have a favor to ask you, Aoi.” 

The two of them sat there for a bit, listening to the sizzle that came from Akane’s shocked body. Teru watched as it twitched, still groveling on the floor. Ah– had he gone too far? He knew Akane was a lot more fragile than the average supernatural but still, the sight was a tad worrying  pathetic..

“Uh… you listening?”

A small “Yessir…” came from the body below. Alright, he was fine. If he took too long to answer, Teru was ready to start poking him with his sword. 

“My brother will likely be coming to you for help in the near future.” Teru started, taking a few steps closer to Akane. The vice, still on the floor, raised his head. His glasses were on the floor in front of him.

Ah, he did look nice without those things. Far too nice. It was very convenient for Akane to wear them, so he wouldn’t have to see apparitions on a day to day basis. A gift from Teru, to let Akane live some semblance of a normal life while attending classes and such. That, and it deterred Teru away from staring into his eyes for too long, serving as a reminder of Akane’s supernatural persona. 

But those glasses were gone, and Teru couldn’t help the smile that came from his face as he looked down at Akane. Stupid, stupid Akane. The helpful vice president who harbored far too many aggressive emotions, all of which got to be targeted at Teru. He didn’t mind, and never would. Their dynamic felt like a cruel one to his heart, and it ached as Akane stared back at him. Eyes bright and curious. Beautiful. 

“When he does, I want you to be there for him, okay?”

“Huh…?” Akane replied, beginning to sit up.

“Specifically, I want you to use all the powers you have…” he leaned down, “to assist him…” offered a hand to help the other up, “and protect him.”

Looking back and forth between Teru and his hand, Akane eventually took it. They stayed like that for a moment, hand in hand. Akane had nice nail beds, trimmed nails, and soft hands. He probably wanted to look presentable for Aoi. Hah, why wouldn’t he. Her hands were probably softer than Akane’s, and definitely better than Teru’s. He had calluses marked on rough hands from years of exorcizing apparitions. Burn scars on his palm back from when he was first learning to use his sword, similar burns to the ones Kou has on his own hands.

Protect him, Teru had said. 

It was clear that Kou was in need of help. Sad to say, the boy couldn’t exorcize no.7 on his own. Teru knew this, but he still put Kou up to the task. Not because he could succeed one day, but because he would try. Try over and over again. The path to success was trial and error, and maybe with that, Kou could grow as an exorcist. As a Minamoto.

But for now, when Teru can’t watch him, he needs extra eyes. And Akane… could work. Maybe it was the crush speaking, but his vice was capable. He was the only person in the school that Teru would trust this task to other than himself. Kou was one of the few people Teru truly cared for. Not in the savior way, but more personal. Familial. Teru would do anything for the wellbeing and happiness of his family.

Which is why it was terribly out of character to ask Akane for help. Someone other than himself. Nonetheless, he made this challenge to put the other in the position where he couldn’t refuse. Not unless he wanted to get shocked.

Still, the proposal was a lot. His siblings meant the world to Teru, meaning if Akane failed, he knew what consequences would surely come his way. To put his siblings in someone else’s hands felt wrong. Incredibly wrong, he’d much rather do it all himself. But Teru was busy. Akane was just a bit more available. And Akane wasn’t Teru, he could be a friend Kou would share his worries with over his brother. Able to learn just what exactly Kou had decided was so important that he’d keep it from Teru.

This deal must look stupid to Akane. After all, to him, Teru was very strange. Unreadable, making decisions that only made sense way later. So if this was his decision, Akane should stick by it if he was smart. That was made clear by the nod he gave, and the slight squeeze he gave Teru’s hand.

Akane’s acceptance of their deal meant far more than reciprocation to any confession.

And with that, Teru helped Akane off of the floor. The two of them then got back to work, and it was the first time in a while that Akane didn’t rush to leave. The two completed everything together, which was the norm since Fuji never came around to help. To many, it must be a mystery as to why Teru hadn't kicked him off the council yet.

Yes, it was true Fuji wasn’t usually around, but Teru considered this a good thing. Gave him more time to spend with his dearest vice president.

Even after all the work was done, they hadn’t separated. They left together, walking through the school.

Coming to a stop, Teru turned to face Akane. “How about we make sure every door is locked?” He asked, a smile on his face. One of the ones he usually gave, the one that couldn’t be read.

Good, Teru was hoping he couldn’t be read. That Akane had no idea what he was thinking. How would Teru explain ‘I said this just to spend more time together even though we share a mutual hatred towards one another’. That’s so… idiotic. As true as it was, Akane would never believe that. And the idea of him believing it was worse. At that point, what would happen next? Akane doesn’t feel the same, so would they stop speaking? Would days in the student council room be spent in silence? Would he even come back–

“That… actually sounds like a good idea.”

Teru blinked before chuckling, crossing his arms. “Do you not think I have good ideas?”

“Eh, it depends on the day.” Akane replied with a shrug.

“Be careful with what you say. We’re alone right now, Aoi.” Teru said, uncrossing his arms. One hand pointed to the beads on his other wrist, making Akane jolt. 

Holding back laughter, Teru checked the door next to them. Locked. The next one too, and the next. They walked side by side, checking each one. The sun began to set, illuminating the hallway in a bright, orange light. It shone on Akane, lighting up his eyes. Lighting up his everything, actually.

Teru cared not for physical appearances. He had been called handsome and prince-like far too many times to truly value the way a person looks anymore. In his opinion, he looks put-together. But praises are still sung and he can’t exactly stop them. Confessions come left and right from people he’s sometimes never spoken to. Women labeled as gorgeous have said they’re out of his league.

But right now, Teru understood it. 

The orange lighting, the focused look on his face as he pulled on each door, the way he said “next one” as though he was talking to any other person. Not Teru, not someone worth importance, just a person. It was casual, painful even, knowing that voice would only speak sweetly to that girl. But for now, she couldn’t see this. She couldn’t take in the view of Akane under the light, a view that rivalled whatever god was up there. 

“Beautiful.”

“What was that?”

…

Shit.

“The sky.” Teru started, clearing his throat. “It’s a nice sunset, usually we don’t stay long enough to see it.”

Akane rolled his eyes, walking towards the next door. “Stay focused, Minamoto-kaichou. I don’t wanna get stuck here for hours because you’re slacking off looking at the sunset.”

After about an hour more of this, the entire school was searched. Akane had asked numerous times why they were doing all of this, only to be met with jabs questioning his commitment as vice president. Teru enjoyed seeing that expression. So riled up. It was nice to be doing this.

Playful comments at one another, as if they were just normal high schoolers. Not a supernatural and an exorcist. Not enemies by the world’s sick and twisted rules. Just two boys on the student council. Oh what Teru would give to just sit in that room with Akane just a bit longer. Signing forms, stapling papers, enjoying that hour together. Just the two of them. Teru wished that’s all they could ever be. He didn’t need Akane to be his, he didn’t need to strip that boy from the girl he so hopelessly desires. Just to stay. To stick around Teru a bit longer and just… 

The two of them stood at the lockers, removing their uwabaki for regular sneakers. The sun had finished setting, meaning it was around 7PM. 

Teru took longer than Akane, since he had yet another confession in his locker to read. Discarding it back inside his locker, it was only then that Teru changed his footwear. Akane walked over, leaning his back against the lockers. 

“Y’know, Minamoto-kaichou…” Akane started, causing Teru to look his way. “I honestly thought you’d do something during all this.”

“Like what, exorcism?” Teru shook his head. “No, now’s not the time for that.”

Confused, Akane tilted his head to the side. He crossed his arms, eyebrow raised. “Huh…”

That. That noise. It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t asking Teru why he chose to be pacifistic at the moment. It was acknowledgement. Understanding that it happened and being intrigued by it. The idea of Akane showing any kind of interest in Teru was honestly exciting.

But that excitement was kept to himself, giving the other a simple “Hm?” in return. 

“It’s your job. You’re supposed to kill me, so why don’t you?”

Ah. His curiosity made sense now.

Teru had almost just forgotten. 

Walking throughout the school together just enhanced his fantasies. That things could be normal between them, that he didn’t have to threaten Akane almost every day as a reminder that this is his enemy. Akane to him should be nothing more than just another apparition, nothing more than another spirit to be wiped off the near shore. It would make perfect sense for Teru to do something. Maybe not anything fatal, but more to bind Akane to his promise to assist Kou. Something bigger than a nod, some violent action  that meant far less to Teru. 

“I don’t have the need to, Aoi.” Teru replied as he finished slipping on his sneakers. He stood straight, facing Akane.  “There are many other supernaturals that deserve that fate more than you do.”

Akane began walking towards the school’s exit, scratching his head. “I really don’t understand you.”

After letting Akane walk on his own for a few moments, Teru picked up his back and joined him. “I’m not here for you to understand, but good luck on your future attempts.”

The two walked side by side for as long as their individual paths would let them. Not long, actually, meaning Teru spent the rest of his walk alone, with the sun completely gone. The night sky filled the scene, street lights leading him home. 

Teru arrived at home around 7:30. This worried Kou, who was saying he was so close to calling the cops. The cops? Really? This caused Teru to laugh, hugging his brother. He reassured Kou nothing would happen to him, and that no one would be touching him anytime soon. After all, he was a powerful exorcist. To lose to a mere kidnapper wouldn’t make him the best example for his younger siblings. Kou agreed, and told him that he had already finished dinner. 

The three of them ate together, chatting at the table. Both of his siblings had a good day, which was great. Teru was sure that wouldn’t stop anytime soon, he would make sure of it. His siblings would continue to have good day after good day, while he can stick back behind the scenes. Teru didn’t mind his lack of free time as long as he could make sure that life was all set up for them. That they could not only have good days, but good lives.

Dinner was amazing, as it usually was. Kou was an excellent cook, just as their mother had been before her passing. If his brother wasn’t so set on becoming an exorcist, he could be a really good chef. 

Soon enough, the table was empty. Dishes washed, kitchen clean. Normally at this time, Teru would retire to his room. Get a good rest in before dinner, making sure his energy was replenished for exorcisms later in the night. But instead, Kou turned to see his brother sitting on the couch, chatting with Tiara.

How long had it been since he’d last done this during a weekday? Had any time to just sit down with the family? Goodness, it was nice to do this. Despite how tired he felt, Teru didn’t get up and sleep in his room. He remained seated. After all, he made that deal with Akane for a reason.

Things may not be okay soon. They were for now, but who knows about tomorrow? The next day? And the one after? Even if they were still children, they were Minamotos. Exorcists born to walk a path of danger and duty. That’s why moments together like this were precious, they never knew when they would have another. When they’d be able to just enjoy themselves and just be family. No responsibility, just three siblings who lived together. Who loved one another.

“Uh… Teru-nii?” Kou started, walking over to the couch. He sat next to Teru, crossing his arms as he turned to face his older brother. “Are you doing okay? Are you not… working tonight?”

The little princess let out a gasp, placing her hands on Teru’s knee. “Teru-nii’s not working??” 

“No, I’m still going.” Teru replied, leaning forward to ruffle Tiara’s hair. She giggled, leaning into it. He turned to Kou next, giving him the same treatment. Unlike most boys his age, Kou just let the affection happen. “I just thought I should be with you guys today. That, and I’ve already gotten plenty of sleep.”

With excited looks on their faces, Kou and Tiara pulled Teru off the couch. Kou more than Tiara, really. The three of them spent a few hours together, playing in the house. They’d chase the little princess around, who insisted on hiding in the strangest places. Kou told stories about his classmates Yokoo and Satou, it was nice that he had bonds like that. 

The scene was what one would expect when three children lived together with no adult supervision. Their father was a busy man, a very important exorcist. Of course, Teru tried his best to be a responsible older brother. A real role model for his younger siblings. But at the moment, with all the horsing around the house, he wasn’t exactly being the best role model. Even after they calmed down and tried playing card games, it still got heated, turning a simple game of Go Fish into a battleground of cards, all being tossed in the air. 

Eventually that came to a stop when an alarm went off on Teru’s phone. The one he had set to remind him of his duties. Usually he was on top of what time it was, but with the current distraction, Teru was taken a little off guard. As sad as it was to end the moment with his siblings, he helped clean up whatever clutter the three of them caused before leaving.

Exorcisms that night went well. Teru arrived back home a bit earlier than usual. Good, that would make up for the sleep he missed during the day. He slipped off his coat, letting it drop to the floor. He lowered himself onto the floor, laying on his mattress. He laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

The day had been plenty eventful. Success for the challenge, walking around with Akane… Goodness.

It felt like a terrible burn. Like a pair of hands set at a million degrees were wrapped around his heart, each finger gently squeezing, unable to realize how much its warmth was actually a painful feeling.. His heart was burning under those fingers. It was a burning deep inside, a flame that wouldn’t stop until it burned Teru’s heart to ash. Till his insides were empty with nothing but smoke. And the smoke would linger, it would linger and still carry Akane’s warmth. 

If this is truly what love was, Teru didn’t want it. It came as a distraction, it melted the snow beneath his feet. It made him lose sight of the path set out for him, it erased all the snow that was there in the first place. It revealed a grassy plain, one with flowers that Teru had never seen before. Beautiful flowers, ones that caught his eye, making him stray from the path.

The black and white path he was supposed to be on. The unwavering one. The life of an exorcist.

Teru hated loving Akane.

It would be different if Akane was his. Him being a wonder wasn’t permanent, only temporary. They could… make it work. Somehow. Teru didn’t have to have children, or surrogacy was always on the table. They could both graduate, live together, be more than the president and his vice.

But that wasn’t the case. Akane loved Aoi. He would do anything for Aoi. Give anything for– be anything for her. And no matter how perfect Teru was, no matter how many people would compare Aoi and Teru, he couldn’t be her. She was friendly, he was professional. He made it clear his stance on apparitions, and since Akane was one, it made Teru a threat. 

That wasn’t the case though– Teru wasn’t a threat. He didn’t keep an eye on Akane for exorcist reasons. He liked being around the other. Was Teru even allowed to like anything this much?

No matter how much Teru wished it’d be so, Akane would never take his eyes off of Aoi. Even if she wasn’t in the room, he would see her in everything. In the plants around the school. The empty desk in their classroom. For goodness sake, even her house next to his was a reminder. Akane would never be able to let her go. 

Teru turned to lay on his side. He clasped his hands together in front of him, lacing his fingers together. It wasn’t the same. He knew Akane’s hands felt different. Teru wished they were his. 

He laid like that for a while, just staring at his hands. Eventually he closed his eyes, imagining Akane was next to him. Thumb brushing against his knuckles, squeezing his hand every so often. 

Ah, this was pathetic. Very pathetic. Laying in the dead of night, imagining holding hands with some… boy. Some supernatural boy who’d never feel the same way in return. Teru shouldn’t feel this way about a person, apparition or otherwise. Not until adulthood, when he could devote the majority of his time to being an exorcist. When he could actually find someone that would benefit him and his family, not some… boy. 

But that boy was… Akane.

Hah, oh goodness…

Not too long after, the long awaited event of the school sleepover had arrived. All that paperwork with the student council had been taxing, organizing all the permission slips students had turned in. It was all worth it though, the turnout was amazing. Many classes had shown excitement for the event, like they do every year it happens. Around ⅘’s of each class had shown up, which is a lot considering it not only includes the high schoolers, but the junior high students as well.

Students weren’t the only people in attendance, if you could count apparitions as people. This is the night the far and near shores were the closest, and with all the humans around, all apparitions were sure to be busy. As much as Teru would love to properly enjoy the sleepover, the safety of his classmates was far more important.

Protecting him was his duty. The wellbeing of all the students was in his hands.

That’s why seeing those glasses on the floor worried him so much.

Teru put away his sword, picking the glasses off the floor. These were the exact frames he gave to Akane. The ones used to shield his vice’s eyes from the supernaturals he would have to see on a day to day basis. But that didn’t mean it was impossible for them to interact with him. To hurt him.

Damn it! If these were here, where was Akane? He was a wonder for goodness sake, something bad couldn’t have happened to him. He would be able to defend himself– he should be able to! Right?

Clutching the glasses in his hand, Teru bit the inside of his cheek. Okay, think. It shouldn’t be that hard to track him down, he was one person. It was just a matter of thinking…

And that thinking is what led Teru all the way to the far shore. The moment he stepped out, he could feel the water soak his shoes. Though he could care less about those, the sight in front of him caught his attention much more.

Akane keeping someone against a wall.

Aoi.

Hah.

Teru made his presence known, immediately causing the two to look over at him. This seemed to annoy Akane, that he and his crush had been interrupted. Good, he could be annoyed about that, Teru was plenty annoyed too. Annoyed that it happened, annoyed that they remained so close. As they continued to walk through the far shore, all the way towards the exit, the two didn’t separate. Not even for a moment. As Teru dealt with the apparitions attacking them, the two stayed together like glue.

Focus, Teru. Now was certainly not the time to be jealous and petty. 

Eventually they reached it. The exit. A path where they could only look forward, for if they turned back, there’d be no way they could possibly make it to the near shore. Teru took the lead, Akane behind. And behind him, holding his hand, was Aoi. The two spoke, talking about themselves as if they didn’t spend their entire lives together. Aoi confessed to liking giraffes, what a stupid confession…

But then he heard it. 

The pain in her voice as she spoke. The way her voice cracked. Aoi, the girl every boy in the school had their eyes fixated on. The sweet girl with no enemies, no problems, was about to sob from talking about her interests.

Teru didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh or reassure her.

But there’d be no point, he’s just as terribly pathetic.

They reached the exit, and the hallway of the school was in view. It was dark, only illuminated by the moonlight that shone out the window. Teru turned around to see Akane, who was also turned. But there was no one else there. No girl with tears streaming down her face just like Teru expected there to be. There was no one…

No Aoi.

Ah, so that’s what she had been sad about.

It wasn’t long before Akane reacted. He was… clearly hurt by her disappearance. Teru tried explaining what it meant only to be met by Akane’s hands gripping his collar. Screaming that they needed to go back for her. Putting his hands on someone that could kill him in an instant if he really wanted. Akane didn’t care, did he? Aoi was more important than any fear, any kind of setback. 

That’s why Akane spent so long thinking of her. Thinking of how he could possibly save her. Him, a normal person if you take away the fact he was partially an apparition. Defying the odds– defying death for her. 

Because of course he would. That’s just the kind of person Akane was, so devoted to the person he cared for the most.

“All… by yourself?”

With all supernaturals gone, Teru was welcome to do as he pleased during the day. For the past few days, he had slept at a time normal for any other person his age. He spent weekends outside, looking in places he’d never been before. Not during the day, not with this newfound freedom. Malls, arcades, karaoke, he wanted to explore every place he could have dreamed of.

This stuff was supposed to be done with friends, right?

Teru invited Akane. Were they friends? No, not particularly, but that could change. With the near and far shores separated, Akane was no longer bound to being a wonder. He was no longer an apparition. There was no need to be enemies, they could just be simple teenagers.

Of course Yashiro came along as well. Just so that it wouldn’t just be the two of them. Didn’t want to be too delusional.

But the two of them wanted his help to get Aoi back, because of course they did. They were the two closest people to that girl, so if they could prevent her death, they would. They would go all the way back to that far shore, no matter the dangers. No matter what was there. Teru understood that. He understood being willing to go that far for someone. The need to see them protected, safe, secure, and able to live their best life. At the moment, Aoi was gone, a young girl with her right to live a normal life torn from her. No matter her lineage, that didn’t mean she should become a human sacrifice.

Still… seeing Akane so determined to bring her back stung just a bit.

“Of course.” Akane said as he was walking towards the exit. “Even if I have to do it alone, there’s no way I’m giving up.”

No, no he wouldn’t. Teru had joked of Akane’s devotion to Aoi being admirable, but it truly was. Doing so much for someone when there was little hope of reciprocating that devotion was… far too familiar. But he was so vocal about it, so open about how much he cared about the girl he’s in love with. Hah, Teru would… never be that way.

“And, once I’ve reunited with Ao-chan…” He continued, turning around to face Teru. There was this bright, even mocking smile on his face. “I’ll be sure to tell her just how useless you were.”

Oh goodness…

It was so hard to keep it held. A solemn expression. One that reflects their relationship. Or lack thereof. Something that had no feeling to it. One that just was. It reflected the nothing that was their bond. The nothing that existed between them. At this point, they weren’t even enemies. They were two people in the same room, coworkers on the student council. There was nothing there and there never was going to be. It was useless to believe that anything would happen. Especially when Akane’s heart was still set on that dead girl existing on the far shore. So far out there, it was so hopeless to get there, yet Akane was still trying. As if he had a chance. As if maybe, just maybe, if Aoi was back, she might love him too.

So hopeful and determined, Teru didn’t know how he felt about it. Jealous? Elated? Akane’s expression was new, it warmed his heart but also squeezed it so tight it might burst. And that burst came with bleeding, blood pouring along with all his emotions. 

It was just lips formed in a straight line, a nod following it. That’s all he needed to do…

“Heh….” Teru chuckled, his upturned smile raising his cheeks. Those cheeks, that burned so fiercely. It was hopeless, his efforts to try to erase the sheer adoration on his face. “That would be a problem.”

After that conversation ended, Akane left, leaving Teru with his thoughts. There was no doubt he was helping them, having already chopped up an artifact and cooked it with their pizza. It would help them all make it to the far shore, all the way to rescue Aoi and no.7.

It was plenty inconvenient for him. The act would bring back supernaturals to the near shore, as well as his job as an exorcist. He wondered if Akane even realized the freedom Teru was giving up just for his happiness. Not for no.7. Not for Aoi. Just for Akane’s well being, so he can stop looking so gloomy. Stop staring at the random plants they walked past. Stop staring at the pastry shop they walked by. Stop seeing her everywhere.

Did Akane ever look at things and see Teru?

Did he see Teru in the sunrise the way Teru saw Akane in the sunset?

Did he ever stay up, thinking of the president?

Teru knew the answer was no. As long as Akane loved Aoi, the answer would always be no. Even if Aoi never existed, it might still be no. Teru wasn’t one Akane could love, that was just the fact of the matter. Even if he had accepted it, that didn’t mean the thought still didn’t hurt.

Wiping under his eyes, Teru was disappointed to see his fingers come back wet. Damn it… 

Feelings were complicated, but he couldn’t help but have them. As an exorcist, he can’t just get rid of them. Instead he has to shove them deep in his heart. Deep within that burning heart, burning from just the idea of Akane. It was warm, as were the tears running down his face. And even as the tears stopped, he felt their presence linger. Lingers just like the feelings for his enemy that refuse to go away. The flame refused to die out. 

Teru’s heart, the exorcist’s heart, was somehow able to hold a feeling so personally deep. To love without expecting love in return, but still yearning for it. 

And that yearning, that desire for more without being able to be understood was so terribly painful.