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Robert emptied his meager breakfast into the company toilet. He had been feeling nauseous all day but it came to a peak halfway through the morning shift. He barely made it to the bathroom in time before he was puking his guts up. The toilets were fairly clean (thank god) so it didn’t smell too bad. He groaned as he finished and took a minute to catch his breath.
It seemed his unhealthy lifestyle was finally catching up to him. His body ached more than usual and despite his nausea he never felt full anymore. Sleeping in a chair and a steady diet of vending machine food could do that to you but it was somehow worse than it was before. He could barely choke down a Twinkie anymore! His caffeine withdrawal headache was hell but if he even thought about coffee he felt sick. He also had weird cravings. There were days where he would kill for a turkey sub with pickles on it of all things. He had almost caved the other night to order food but a check of his bank balance quickly killed any notion of that. He had spent his last paycheck on new clothes as his old ones were getting uncomfortable. Despite the constant nausea his body was beginning to fill out in weird ways. He had begun to develop a bit of a fupa and his ass felt more plump. Not that he would complain about gaining weight but he was hoping it would have been muscle rather than fat.
He quickly washed his mouth out and splashed water on his face. One look in the mirror had him cringing. Good god, he looked like shit. His back hurt, his head hurt, his fucking tits hurt too. He had to grit his teeth to get into his binder that morning. He could just not wear it but not a lot of people at work knew about him being transgender so that was a no go. He dragged his feet back to his desk and nearly collapsed into his chair. Beef had gotten up from his bed and was whining at his feet. He gave the dog a quick pet before hearing a rattling next to him. He looked over and saw Chase holding out a box of mints to him.
“You’re lucky I keep these at my desk.” Chase said. “Your breath smells like shit.”
Robert took a few mints and popped them in his mouth. “I feel like shit.”
“Yeah, I can tell.”
Robert put his headset on and immediately got a headache. The Z team were all shouting over each other about where Robert had gone suddenly.
“Five bucks says he’s pissing out of his ass.” Sonar said.
This made Robert gag a bit but he managed to keep it together. “Can you not, Sonar? I already puked once today I don’t need to do it again.”
“Ah, so I was right.” Punch Up commented. “Throw back too many brews last night?”
“You went drinking without us?” Visi accused. “Not cool, dude.”
“I haven’t had any alcohol in months so no.” Robert said. “Look, it’s not important. Let’s just get through this shift, alright?”
A collective groan from everyone plus a sarcastic ‘yes, dad’ from Visi filled his ears. His head throbbed and he bit back a groan.
Flambae’s voice came over the line. “You sure you’re alright, Bobert?”
He actually sounded genuinely concerned. According to Flambae they weren’t friends by any means but they were on much better terms after the night of the bar fight. Even so there were little things that had changed between them. Flambae was a bit more respectful when speaking to him on and off the clock. No please and thank you or anything like that; he was just nicer about things. He still called him a bitch but the heat that had been behind it before had vanished. The times they were in the office together he could feel Flambae’s eyes on him. He had caught the pyrotechnic mentally undressing him but that was to be expected. Knowing what someone looks like naked in an intimate way changes the way you look at someone forever.
“I’ll be fine.” Robert responded, a slight flush to his cheeks. “Let’s power through to lunch.”
Lunch break couldn’t come quick enough. By the time he was able to take the headset off he was starving and exhausted. He had managed to pack himself a PB&J sandwich and he was actually looking forward to that. He went to the break room and grabbed his meager lunch before sitting down. After damn near starving all day the simple sandwich tasted like heaven. The chair across from him pulled out and Visi appeared before him. He jumped and almost choked on his food making him cough.
“Jesus Christ, Visi! You gotta stop doing that.”
“Nah, it’s funny watching you shit yourself.” She took out a small bag of potato chips and popped one in her mouth. “So what’s your deal lately?”
Robert raised an eyebrow at her. “What do you mean?”
She held her hand up and began counting with her fingers. “You’re tired all the time, you keep puking, you don’t drink coffee anymore, and your ass has gotten fatter.”
Robert blushed a bit and averted his eyes. “Did you really have to point that out?”
“Dude, it’s all anyone is talking about.”
“Me puking or my ass?”
“All of it.” She studied him briefly. “You’re not juicing, are you?”
“Don’t you think I’d have more muscles if I was juicing?”
“I don’t know how your body works. Though you aren’t breaking out so I guess not.” She thought for a moment. “Did you get a BBL on the DL?”
Robert sighed irritably. “No, I did not get a BBL. Why do you even care?”
“Wow, is it so wrong to worry about your coworker?” She said sarcastically. “You’re so fucking sensitive. You on your period or something?”
A thought suddenly occurred to Robert. “Actually….no. I haven’t had it for a couple of months.”
“Shit, really? Were you regular?”
“I was, yeah.”
It was then that Flambae entered the break room with a take out bag and to go cup. He noticed Invisigal with Robert and narrowed his eyes at her.
“The fuck are you two talking about.”
“Girl stuff.” Courtney said nonchalantly. Robert cleared his throat and gave her a pointed look. “Oh, my bad. Pussy stuff. Not that you’d know anything about that, gay boy.”
“I know about pussy!” Flambae said defensively.
“Did you suddenly grow one? No, wait I know. You accidentally clicked on the wrong porno and thought ‘fuck it might as well’.”
Flames began to dance across Flambae’s skin as his anger rose. He looked like he was about to cuss Invisigal out before he saw how tired Robert was. Instead of blowing up he took a deep breath and his flames dissipated. He then turned to Robert, completely ignoring Courtney.
“I got you some food and ginger tea.” He placed the takeout on the table in front of Robert. “Don’t worry, it’s decaf.”
Robert didn’t bother to hide his surprise as the food was placed in front of him. He opened the paper bag to find a protein bowl from one of those food health places. He felt his mouth begin to water as he took the container out of the bag to smell the food. It didn’t make his stomach lurch and it took all of his willpower to not start digging in then and there.
“Wow, thanks Flambae. That’s really thoughtful of you.”
Flambae blushed a bit and rolled his eyes. “I was sick of seeing you eat Twinkies. Also the bathroom smells like puke. Try not to throw this up too, it was expensive. Bitch.”
He had quickly added the last part but it didn’t sound sincere. Robert was gonna wait until Flambae left to start eating but the pyrotechnic stood there and watched him. He slowly opened the container, his eyes never leaving Flambae’s, grabbed the plastic fork and stabbed into a piece of chicken. He raised it to his mouth and took a bite. His brain nearly short circuited from how good it tasted and he could not stop himself from moaning. Flambae’s eyes briefly widened and his blush deepened before he turned tail and quickly left. A cloud of steam followed him out into the hallway and Robert could’ve sworn he heard him cuss. Instead of worrying about that Robert chose to dig into his protein bowl. It was probably the best food he’d had in a good year maybe longer. The tea was also really nice. The ginger helped to settle his stomach and the warmth spread through his body easing his aches. Midway through his lunch he noticed Invisigal staring at him bewildered.
“Can I help you?” He asked.
Invisigal looked to the door and back to Robert. “What the fuck was that?”
“That was Flambae. You work with him, remember?”
“No shit, dick bag! I’m talking about that.” She pointed an accusatory finger at his food. “Since when does fire bitch bring you food?”
Robert shrugged. “I don’t know.” He glanced at the clock. “Since like eight minutes ago?”
“Did you suck his dick or something?”
Robert felt his face heat up as he averted his gaze while sipping on his tea. They hadn’t told anyone about their wild night (or at least he hoped Flambae didn’t. Prism may very well know) as they didn’t want to complicate things. That didn’t stop Robert from thinking about it all the time but that was neither here nor there.
“Holy shit, you did suck his dick!” For a moment Courtney actually looked a bit hurt. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
“Why should I?”
“Because! Girl talk! Sorry, pussy talk! God I’m not woke enough for this.” She crossed her arms and pouted. “After everything that happened I thought we had a bond or some shit.”
“What, you wanna be besties?”
“Yes! No….maybe? Fuck, I don’t know. Don’t change the subject! Did you or did you not suck his dick?”
Robert debated in his head if he was going to continue this conversation. If he did he could swear her to secrecy (and she sure as hell can keep a secret) and if he didn’t he would never hear the end of it. It took a while for him to trust her after Shroud revealed she was a spy but she was doing well in her work as a truly reformed hero. But could he trust her with this?
Fuck it.
“I did a lot more than that.” He said quietly into his cup.
It took a moment for Invisigal to process what he said but when she did she wound up like she was gonna shout something. Luckily she thought better and lowered her chatter to a whisper.
“You fucked him?” She used her fingers to make a crude gesture. “Peen in hole fucked him?”
Robert looked around to make sure they were alone before whispering “Yeah, giant peen in hole.”
“Front hole or back hole?”
Robert felt his face heat up even more.
“You let him peen in front hole fuck you?”
“Yeah, just…don’t tell anyone, okay? I do not need HR to be involved.”
“HR might have to be involved, dude. When was your last period?”
“A few months ago. Why?”
“Before or after he beat your ass like bongos?”
Robert felt his heart drop into his stomach. Now that he thought about he hadn’t had his period since before he and Flambae had sex. That with all the symptoms he was experiencing…
“Oh, fuck.”
Robert paced restlessly in his apartment while waiting for the results of the test. Beef ran after him as he did, thinking they were playing a game. He knew that having unprotected sex wasn’t a good idea! Apparently his math had been off because there was a very real possibility he was pregnant. With Flambae’s child no less! How the fuck would that even work? He couldn’t even afford the morning after pill let alone a whole baby! Would Flambae even be willing to claim paternity?
Fuck.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when the alarm on his phone went off. He scrambled to his kitchen counter to look at the pregnancy test. As plain as day was a little plus sign. He stared at the test as if he could change the result with sheer willpower. He didn’t move until he felt something wet fall onto his hand. He touched his cheek to find it was wet as well. Was he crying? The lump in his throat answered his question. In a daze he sat on the floor next to Beef’s favorite pillow. He barely registered Beef licking his face and whining as his vision continued to blur. He had to bite into his hand to prevent himself from making too much noise lest his neighbors called the cops on him.
Despite how reckless it was he already found himself loving it. Loving the thing that was currently resting in his womb. He loved it more than his father ever loved him. He wanted it so bad it physically hurt. But what did he know about being a parent? He barely remembers his mother and his father had barely been around. The closest thing he had to a parent was Chase and he was more like an older brother to him.
His hands shook as he took out his phone and scrolled through his contacts. Even through the haze he managed to find Chase’s number. He couldn’t think of who else to call. The line rang a few times before a very irritated Chase answered the phone.
“Bitch, you better be dead or dying!”
All Robert could do was choke out a wet sob. The line was silent before he heard Chase curse and hang up. He panicked until he heard someone knocking on his door. He pushed himself up and answered his door to find Chase in his hallway with tissues and a bag of chocolates.
“Hey there, kid.” Chase said in a way he hadn’t heard since he was a kid.
Neighbors be damned Robert buried his face in his hands and broke down. Chase gently pushed him back into his apartment and hugged him. Robert didn’t return the hug but let himself be held as he cried. Chase smelt like Old Spice and Chinese food but he didn’t care. He felt Chase rub his back soothingly which made him cry harder.
“There you go, let it out.” Chase said softly. “I got you.”
He wasn’t sure how long he stood there crying. Eventually Chase managed to maneuver him so that he was sat down in his meager living room. He managed to quiet down a bit by the time Chase brought him a glass of water. His throat felt raw so he was grateful for it and chugged it down. Chase sat down next to him and opened the bag of chocolate. He unwrapped a piece of candy and passed it to Robert.
“Here.”
Robert took the chocolate and popped it into his mouth. He liked to suck on pieces of chocolate to melt it a bit as it tasted better. For a while they just sat there eating chocolate before Chase finally asked the dreaded question.
“What happened?”
Robert said nothing, just pointed at the counter where the pregnancy test lay. Chase stood up and walked over to the kitchen counter. It took him a second to find it but when he did he sighed.
“Shit, kid. Is this real?”
Robert could only nod. Chase was one of the few people at SDN that knew he was transgender. He had been there when he was a kid and had emotionally supported him through his dysphoria before they lost touch.
“Do you know who the dad is?”
Robert nodded slowly. “Flambae.”
Chase looked surprised at that. “That hothead? I thought he hated your ass.”
“It’s complicated.”
“I’ll fucking say.” Chase placed the test back down and leaned against the counter. “What you wanna do?”
Robert felt himself tearing up again. “It’s stupid but I want it. Fuck me, but I want it so bad.” He tried to roughly scrub his tears away. “I’ve been alone for so long, Chase. Even after getting Beef I’ve felt so alone. I know I’m a fucking idiot for wanting this but I already fucking love this kid so much.”
Chase quickly made his way over to Robert to hug him again. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up. You’re not stupid for wanting this kid. If you’re as half as good of a regular dad as you are a dog dad this is gonna be the most loved kid in the world.”
As if to emphasize his point Beef jumped into Robert’s lap and wagged his tail. This got a brief smile out of him as he used both of his hands to give Beef a full body rub.
“He is a happy dog.” Robert mused. “Kinda fat though.”
Chase snorted. “He just got more to love.” He gave an affectionate pat to Beef. “You gonna tell him?”
Robert shrugged. “I’m not sure. We’re not even in a relationship.”
“If you want my opinion you should tell him.” Chase said. “I’ll be damned if my grandbaby grows up with an ain’t shit dad!”
Robert raised a brow at him. “Your grandbaby?”
“Hell yeah, my grandbaby! This kid is gonna have the best granddad around these parts.”
Robert managed to smile again. “Thanks, Chase. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He held up his fist and Chase lightly bumped it.
“Thankfully you don’t gotta find out.”
He took his phone and started scrolling through his contacts. Robert peeked to see what he was doing and saw him pulling up Flambae’s number.
“Uh, what are you doing?” Robert asked.
“Getting flaming hot Cheetos mother fucker to take responsibility.” Chase paused before pressing dial. “You good with that?”
Robert thought for a moment before shrugging. “Go ahead.”
Chase nodded and dialed the number. He stood up and walked a short distance with his phone pressed to his ear.
“Get your ass up to Robert’s place.” Chase said sharply. Flambae must have picked up. “Mother fucker, I don’t care what time it is! Get your flaming ass up in this bitch before I drag you by your ponytail!” After a moment Chase hung up. “He’ll be here in fifteen minutes. If not I’m kicking his ass.”
Sure enough after some time passed they heard on knock on Robert’s door. Chase quickly answered it and jabbed his thumb to point inside the apartment.
“Get your ass in here!”
Flambae rolled his eyes as he passed the threshold. “Good evening to you too, Chase.”
His attitude changed when he saw the state Robert was in. He had stopped crying but his eyes were puffy and he looked more tired than he had been earlier.
“Shit, what’s up?”
Chase grabbed the pregnancy test and shoved it into his face. “This is what’s up, mother fucker!”
Flambae took the test and held it in the light. After studying it for a few moments his eyes widened and he looked at Robert.
“You’re shitting me.” Flambae said, his voice tinged with disbelief.
“Nope.” Robert managed to say weakly.
Flambae looked at him with great concern and took a step towards him. “Robert, I—.”
Robert cut him off. “I’m not getting rid of it. Despite the circumstances I want this kid. You don’t have to be involved—.”
“Oh, he’s gonna be involved!” Chase interjected. “Ain’t no fucking way am I letting him flake on you.”
Flambae glared at Chase. “What makes you think I will ‘flake’ on Robert over this?”
Chad returned his glare. “I know your type, hot sauce. You’re all flash and no function. The second you gotta take responsibility for something you turn tail and run!”
Flambae clenched his fist and stood so that he towered over Chase. “Listen here, old man! I may like to fuck and party but I’m not a fucking coward!”
Chase attempted to stand to did full height which wasn’t much. “Then prove it, mother fucker!”
Flambae was about to retort when he heard a sniffing. Both Chase and Flambae looked to Robert to see that he had begun crying again. Beef sat in his lap and began whining at his owner’s distress. Flambae took a deep breath to calm himself and slowly walked over to Robert. He knelt down and gently placed a hand on the other man’s shoulder. When Robert looked up at him with tears in his eyes his heart ached.
“Listen, I know this isn’t ideal.” Flambae began. “I should’ve been more careful that night but I don’t regret it. I’m gonna be here for you and this kid.”
Robert stared at Flambae for a few moments before looking to Chase. “Can we have some privacy, Chase? I’ll call you if I need you.”
Chase looked reluctant to leave the two of them alone. He gave Flambae a deadly look before sighing and nodding.
“Yeah, I can do that. Don’t you hesitate to call me, though.”
Once Chase left Robert patted the spot next to him. With some reluctance Flambae sat down on the floor. For a few minutes they just sat in silence staring at the wall.
“I don’t want to get married.” Robert said, breaking the silence. “Shotgun weddings are a cliché I’m not willing to indulge. Frankly I’ll be happy with just some child support.”
Flambae looked to Robert with hurt on his features. “You don’t want me in the kid’s life?”
“I didn’t say that. I’m just setting the bar.”
“That’s a pretty low bar, Bob Bob.”
“I’ve learned to taper my expectations.” Robert returned Flambae’s gaze. “Do you want to be in this kid’s life?”
“Of course I do! I may not look it but I do actually like kids. Never thought I’d have one of my own but here we are.”
Robert had to admit he was surprised at Flambae’s reaction. He was expecting him to not want anything to do with the kid and leave Robert a single father. He knew Flambae was good with kids but he had no way to gauge how he would react to having one of his own.
“So…you’re open to co-parenting?” Robert asked. “I don’t want to force you into a relationship.”
Flambae thought for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, I can live with that.” Flambae stood up and offered Robert his hand. “C’mon, we’re going to my place.”
Robert looked confused at Flambae. “Uh, why?”
Flambae gave him a pointed look. “You’re pregnant with my child; there’s no way in any hell I’m letting you sleep in a chair.”
“Uh, okay. Can Beef come?”
Flambae thought for a moment before sighing. “Fine. As long as he doesn’t shit on my floor he’s welcome.”
“Don’t worry, he’s house trained.”
Robert took his hand and let out a yelp of surprise as he was lifted into Flambae’s arms. Flambae made sure to also grab Beef before opening the sliding door and taking flight. Robert held on to him and Beef for dear life as they flew over the city.
“Don’t worry, I won’t drop either of you.” Flambae said.
Somehow, Robert believed him.