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The garden for the hospice center was beautiful. Between various different plants were smooth terracotta paths that looked like they were swept regularly. The ceiling was crystal clear glass that kept the elements out but let the sunlight in. Robert was amazed at how nice it was as he pushed his sister’s wheelchair towards a corner littered with seasonal flowers.
“Let’s get that table.” Maru said, pointing to a nice sunny spot.
The table and chairs were made with light wood with iron frames. It was easy to push the extra chair aside and place Maru’s wheelchair so that she faced the flowers. Robert didn’t know the name of them but they were a soft purple color and had a calming smell. He placed his chair so that he was sat right next to her. There were a couple other people in the garden that morning but they were far enough apart to where they could enjoy some semblance of privacy. Maru reached down and picked one of the flowers to smell it.
“I’ve always loved ラベンダー. It makes sense that they would plant some here.”
She passed the flower to Robert and he sniffed it as well. The smell was very comforting and it was quite pretty. Flambae probably would know what type of flower it was but he was at home taking care of Zarina. As much as he wanted his boyfriend and daughter to get to know his mother and sister Flambae insisted that he have some private time with them every once in a while. The past few months he was there every single day he had off from work. Sometimes his family would accompany him but on days like today it was just him. Though he had managed to convince Chase to come with him last week. His mother almost didn’t recognize him with how much he aged but evidently she was happy to seen him. Chase had been trepidatious at first but eventually warmed up to Akiko and Maru.
“You think they’ll let us bring some back to your room?” Robert asked.
Maru shook her head. “No, it’s alright. They look much prettier out here anyways. But you—“ She tapped his jacket pocket. “—can take that one. Give it to Zarina when you get home.”
“A gift from Auntie Maru?”
She smiled and nodded. “A gift from Auntie Maru. And don’t worry, it’s edible. People use it in baking.”
Robert stowed the flower away in his jacket pocket. Normally their mother would be out there with them but Robert wanted to give her a break so she could get some actual sleep without worrying about Maru. She was hesitant at first but after the both of them insisted she relented.
“Hey, guess what I got?” Robert said, reaching into his inner pocket.
Maru looked at him curiously and gasped when he pulled out a green tea KitKat.
“Is that real?” She asked in amazement.
“As real as can be.”
He looked around to make sure no one was looking before discreetly opening the wrapper. He had found it at the local market the other day and knew they were a favorite in Japan. Judging by Maru’s reaction they were a favorite of her’s as well. He split the KitKat in half so each of them had two bars. Maru took a moment to smell the candy before sighing contentedly.
“I haven’t had one of these since we left Japan.” She held her piece up as if to toast. “乾杯!”
Robert chuckled as they tapped their pieces of candy together. “Kanpai.”
They bit into their candy and Maru moaned quietly. Robert did his best not to laugh as he watched his sister savor the green colored candy. It wasn’t a bad taste. A bit different than he was used to, but it wasn’t bad. It was actually kind of nice. It didn’t make his stomach rumble like most food did these days so he took that as a plus.
“I have a question.” Maru said after finishing her candy. “I hope it isn’t rude.”
“Go for it.”
Maru hesitated a bit before asking. “What is it like being pregnant?”
Oh. He wasn’t really expecting that but he couldn’t blame her for being curious. Ever since he told them he was pregnant with his second child Maru grew increasingly curious about his condition. The transgender thing didn’t perplex her at all to his surprise but she was curious about the whole cycle of childbearing.
Robert thought for a moment before answering. “It’s…well, right now it doesn’t feel like much. Except for the fact that my stomach hates itself. The whole morning sickness thing can vary but with Zarina it passed after the first trimester.”
Maru nodded, listening intently. “I see. Is there anything that helps with feeling sick?”
“Ginger can help. My sister in law sent me a whole box of ginger candy in my first pregnancy. I practically lived off of that stuff for like a month. Though it doesn’t seem to be as bad as last time; I can keep most of my food down I just have to avoid certain things.”
“What about later in the pregnancy? What does it feel like when the baby moves?”
“You know, most people give you this impression that it’s this magical thing but really it just feels like gas. The first time I felt Zarina moved I thought my stomach was rumbling.”
Maru giggled a bit. “Did you fart?”
Robert rolled his eyes but was still smiling. “No, I didn’t fart. At least, not at that particular moment.”
“Couldn’t be me.” Maru said cheekily. “Everyone knows girls don’t fart.”
“If I had a nickel for every time Zarina has farted on me I could get a really nice car.”
They both dissolved into giggles which earned them some curious looks from the other patients. This only made them giggle more before they were eventually able to quiet back down.
“I know this is kind of silly but I’ve always been curious about pregnancy.” Maru mused. “Birth rates in Japan are low and I thought maybe it was because people didn’t want to be pregnant. I know that’s not the issue but every pregnant woman I ever met seemed happy. I had plenty of cousins back in Okinawa but my dad had been an only child.”
“I was in the same boat.” Robert said with sympathy. “When my dad died I was pretty much alone. No cousins, no grandparents, no siblings.”
Maru gave him a sad smile and took his hand in her’s. “You’re not alone anymore, 兄貴. You have mama and I.” She paused. “And Zarina and Chad.” She quickly added.
Robert couldn’t help but feel bittersweet about that. While it was true he had his mother and sister but Maru’s cancer was ever present. She hadn’t gotten worse in the past few months but she hasn’t gotten any better either. The doctor said she had a year at best and at worst she could drop dead tomorrow. He knew the anxiety wasn’t good for his pregnancy but he spent every night wondering if he was going to get the call from his mother. He knew his problems were nothing compared to Maru’s but Flambae reminded him that beating himself up did nothing. He hasn’t let Maru see him cry as he didn’t want her to worry. He wanted every moment of Maru’s final days to be filled with happiness.
“Can I feel your belly?” Maru asked hesitantly. When Robert didn’t answer right away she became bashful. “I’m sorry, I know that’s not—“
“No!” Robert said quickly. “I mean, yes. There just isn’t much to feel right now.”
“I don’t mind. It might be my only chance to meet them.”
Robert tried to hide how much that made his heart hurt. He unzipped his jacket to reveal his very small baby bump. He was showing more than he had been with Zarina but he was told that was normal for a second pregnancy. Maru hesitantly reached out and placed her thin hand on Robert’s stomach. Despite not much being there she still looked amazed at it.
“It’s warm.” She commented, her eyes glued to his stomach.
“That’s Chad’s kid, alright.”
She giggled a bit and shifted her hand a bit higher. He felt like crying at how bony and pale her hand was compared to his own but bit back his feelings for her sake.
“What do you think they’ll be?” She asked with wonder.
Robert shrugged a bit. “Don’t know. I’m good with either.”
“I think it’s a girl.” She said. “I want it to be a girl. I have too many boy cousins.” She paused. “We have too many boy cousins.”
Robert smiled a bit. Maru would try to make him feel more included in their mother’s side of the family every moment she could. She would tell him stories about her visits to Okinawa and insisted she would make introductions. This was wishful thinking at best but at this point it was all she had.
“Can we go play Mario Kart? There’s a Switch in the rec room.” She asked.
Robert smiled at her and nodded. “Sure. Dibs on Link.”
Maru pouted playfully at him. “Boo! Dibs on Daisy then!”
Robert rolled her into the empty rec room on the other side of the building. Sure enough there was a Switch connected to the large flat screen in the center. They even had an extra controller so they didn’t have to share. He pulled a chair up to next to where he had parked Maru’s wheelchair and booted up the system.
“You wanna do teams?” He asked.
Maru shook her head. “Nope! I’m gonna kick your ass!”
Kick his ass she did.