Chapter Text
The sky bedecked with stars was never truly sublime, mysterious or romantic before. It was simply just there, much like everything else in the canvas Nagi existed in: just there, sometimes pretty to admire, but never stirring his soul or setting it ablaze.
He was never the aesthete with a yearning heart, reciting silent poems to those pearls adorning the empyrean navy portrait above, wondering if a certain someone was looking at it too and sighing like the romantic poets before him.
That was until buckets of the brightest colors plummeted into his life, pouring paint all over that canvas he inhabited.
Those brilliant, beaming hues had only one name bestowed upon them, and that name was Reo Mikage, the boy that approached him one day asking to compete against him in the games Nagi was an expert at. Encircled by an orb of curiosity, Nagi had agreed back then. One game led to another, privately at first, until Nagi felt that this could grow into something more. Yielding to his senses, he invited Reo to his stream, and it was during that fateful day that he was defeated for the very first time. His viewers went crazy, and many fell for Reo, asking to see more of him.
Nagi almost refused..the thought of everyone falling for Reo was not…fun. He wanted those private gaming sessions with Reo to remain something personal..verging on sacred, between them and them alone, but Reo was so excited to stream with him, and what Reo wants, Reo gets. Hm..could be..interesting. Nagi had thought, his curiosity mixing with something he could not yet name during those days before it dawned upon him..not that it took that long. What was the concept of time in the face of eternal light? Once it shone upon you, it felt like you had known it all your life..like you were born on this earth to witness it. Nagi’s heart was more loyal than time. It hasn’t even been a year of knowing Reo, but it didn’t matter. To know Reo was to love him, that was the certitude of life that time could never unnerve or annihilate.
Everything felt like a blur sometimes, but he remembered how shortly after he started streaming with Reo, his channel changed, and his whole world funneled down to purple colored gardens and golden streaks of warmth. Most of his streams were no longer alone but shared with Reo who also introduced him to a variety of new games. In their shared haven, he found himself enjoying games beyond shooting and gacha. The more he discovered, the more he desired to know, learn and experience, and it was not limited to just games..but only if it was with Reo.
After playing a variety of games together, his favorite one to stream with Reo became Stardew Valley. Sometimes, he would disassociate and delve into the serene picture of their life being that game. How lovely it would be to live on a farm with Reo, raising their animals and watering their crops together, growing various flowers (Nagi would always choose the purple ones), going on picnics while listening to the songbirds praising their love. He could see them clearly in his mind, walking hand in hand to the waterfalls, breathing in the liveliness of the peaceful landscape and drinking in the tranquil beauty surrounding them, with no sound around them but the gentle rustling of the dancing leaves. They would be enveloped by trees, sheltering them in a little sanctuary of bright blooming petals and the purest, most beautiful pools of blue their eyes had ever held.
Living such a life with Reo was the remedy for the soul that could soothe any state into euphoria. Whenever he longed for him, he would frequent those silent chambers of desire occupying every layer of his inner world.
Perhaps he could settle for what they have, a virtual life with Reo, matching profile pictures of their Stardew Valley characters online..but he knew it was never enough.
Mere thoughts rekindle the fire of his yearning over and over again until he is swallowed up by the tenacious flames. He would rather burn forever than to ever lose Reo though. And so, he kept it all unspoken. They did well together, and since joining forces, their streams reached numerous viewers. It was best not to poke at the glass and shatter it until he’s left with nothing but scattered pieces he could not touch.
Reo..when did you dominate my soul so unreservedly and irrevocably? Not that I mind..I’d become one with you in a heartbeat.
On nights like this, starry and silent, he always found himself glued to his window thinking of Reo instead of playing games alone. Reo became the visible incarnation of light itself, the glistening glow that illuminated the heart that was once devoid of it. Sometimes, it burned so brightly that it ached, but what was that ache but the residual of love and passion that he could not yet offer? I really want to tell him though..It’d be nice to talk to Reo about it..to release it from my heart.
But what if I wreck it?
I mean.. it feels like we have been dating for ages though..maybe Reo feels that as well?
Damn, he thought, unable to silence the persistent power of love that permeated through him. Love, once a remote alien, became an indispensable daily thought that accompanied him like a shadow, whispering only one name in his ear, gliding around his heart and latching onto his soul. That love was a pendulum swing that never stopped, creating a force that could never be ignored. He was rendered helpless, too absorbed in Reo. When they weren’t talking, be it in person, on calls or on streams, he was always present in his mind, heart, and even in games. He found himself pulling all purple themed characters in his gacha games because they reminded him of Reo.
And before Reo, he never gave love a glance. Romancing people in his games was a hassle, just like he viewed love in real life. Why bother with all these feelings? It is pointless, he had thought. But now, he found himself romancing certain characters, but only if they had purple hair, or if they reminded him of Reo. He would pretend they are Reo, practice what to say to Reo through them. But it was not enough, for they were not Reo. A mere resemblance could never hold a candle to the real deal. He even resorted to creating a virtual sim that could be Reo both lookwise and personality wise, but still..he desired real life love with him.
He remembered how once, one person in the chat of one of his streams wrote, “it’s like you’re frozen,” when Nagi ignored every possible romanceable option in the game he was playing, and said “love is a hassle.” Frozen, maybe something inside him was, and all it took to melt it down were the blazing violet skies of Reo’s eyes.
He shifted in his seat and stretched out his arms with a yawn, looking up at the stars once more. They accompanied the sky, making it more beautiful..but could Nagi find it to be still so beautiful without them?
Don’t think about that, he commanded his brain, refusing to even think of a world without Reo in it. After getting a taste of this life, how could he ever see beauty in a starless sky? He had to believe that he would never have to.
Reo would never leave you.
He thought back on one conversation that resided in his heart, when he first met up with Reo in person and asked him why he reached out to him in the first place because Reo wasn’t a gamer. He only became one after they started streaming together, and even then, he streamed by himself twice at best. It was always with Nagi, and sometimes with their friend Chigiri who also always brought Kunigami along with him, but they’d always say “we will never game with Romeo and Juliet again,” only to come back and play with them a while later.
When he asked him back then, Reo replied with a chuckle, “honestly, I was very bored. Nothing intrigued me. One day I was scrolling online and saw a post about the undefeatable genius, and you intrigued me.”
“Intrigued you..?” Nagi asked, not quite convinced that someone like Reo was fascinated by him.
“Well yeah,” a grin played upon Reo’s lips, “you’re very interesting. A lazy gaming genius, who still somehow excels at everything, and no one can beat him? It made me wanna beat you, so I practiced all the games you played back then and became an expert at them. Still, I couldn’t beat you at first. You’re truly remarkable.”
“Reo’s the remarkable one,” Nagi said, “I’ve been gaming for a long time, and yeah I’m great-”
“And humble,” Reo chuckled.
“-But you’re..amazing, Reo. You never played any of those games yet defeated me on the third try. You just took it as a simple challenge and became an expert in a few days. It’s..brilliant”
“I uh.. learn quickly,” Nagi remembered how the timbre of Reo’s voice softly dipped in shyness, even though he was so boastful on stream and texts, calling himself “super elite.” He could also see his cute, pink cheeks flashing brightly in his inward eye as if he was right in front of him again. He quite liked making Reo blush, and he wanted to do it more often..
He thought back on the rest of the conversation, the words etched to his very core, “but why’d you stay..after winning your challenge? You could have left..but we kept streaming together and became a team.”
“Cause it’s fun playing and being with you,” Reo answered matter-of-factly, like it was the easiest and simplest truth in the world.
Fun, huh..
Aside from his fans that seemed to enjoy watching him, no one else ever described being with him as fun. What stood out to him was “being with you,” and not simply playing games together. Reo enjoyed his company just like he enjoyed his. Reo willingly wanted to be around him..and to Nagi, that was enough spark to light up that candle of companionship and warmth that never flickered before. And Reo never let it die down either. He was always there, always playing games with him, always smiling at him like he was something special.
“You’ve changed a bit ya know,” Reo had said during that conversation, “you’re more curious, more willing to try stuff, more open to chat with me.”
“Well, cause it’s you..” Nagi clarified, like that was enough to transfer the silent words of his heart into Reo’s.
“Hm,” Reo smiled, deviating away from that not-so-shielded truth, “but you haven’t truly changed, you’re still whiny, still a lazy genius who looks for the easiest least demanding shortcuts, and your most used phrase is still ‘what a pain’,” he mimicked Nagi’s sigh and voice as he said those words, then laughed. His laugh was sweeter than honey.
“Hm,” Nagi pondered, trying to hide the effect of Reo’s beautiful laugh on him while holding some kind of staring contest with the floor so he doesn’t look perfection straight in the face and do something he’d regret, “and..would Reo prefer if I change?”
“Nah,” Reo replied immediately, “I don’t want you to change, I want you to always be Nagi.” He smiled again, ruffling his hair and chuckling softly at Nagi’s half-hearted puff, “never change, treasure.”
Treasure…
It wasn’t something new. The first time it slipped out was during an intense game of Valorant, when Nagi guaranteed their victory and Reo shouted, “that’s my treasure!”
Nagi’s heart stilled back then, he believed he had to order it to start pulsating again, and every thump drummed to the beat of “Reo, Reo, Reo.”
He thought it was the product of the heat of the moment, words of affection gliding through the thrill and adrenaline of victory, but Reo kept saying it over and over again, clueless to how each utterance of “treasure” watered the seeds of love in Nagi’s heart, and those seeds were impatient, wanting to bloom into roses as soon as possible. With Reo’s care, his words, smiles and existence itself, no flower ever took its sweet time. Love bloomed with the power of a thousand springs in one, fast, quick, flowing with life.
The rising memory came to a sudden stop with the beep of his phone, followed by another beep then another. Receiving many text notifications at once was the elixir of life that Nagi longed for. He always knew it was Reo.
He heaved himself from the windowsill and his feet carried him quickly to his bed. He picked his phone and unlocked it with the speed of light, “Reo,” he mumbled to himself, clicking on the chat.
“Hey! Sorry I couldn’t text.” Reo had sent, followed by several other text bubbles:
“I was pretty busy today, some activities then dinner with my parents. You know how it is.(¬_¬")”
“But I missed you!” Me too..you have no idea..
“Was thinking of ways we could grow our channels further also.” Hm..was that the only reason why you thought of me?
Nagi shrugged that thought away as he continued to read:
“Wanna call? We can play something too, just us.”
“Ah forget it, it’s late so..I’ll just text you again tomorrow.” Wait no, come back.
“Btw, Chigiri and Kunigami wanted to play Pico Park with us, maybe we can all play tomorrow? We haven’t played it before so it’ll be fun, I can stream it.”
“Goodnight treasure (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)”
“Wait come back,” Nagi said to himself before realizing he had to actually type it, “wait, you still awake?” He sent.
“Hiya Nagi!” Reo texted back. Nagi eyed those three typing dots impatiently until another text appeared, “you should go to sleep.”
“Wanna play a quick game before?” He sent, hoping to keep Reo around longer.
“Okay treasure, I’ll hop on call!”
–
Reo thought of last night’s call all day, a fuel driving him to power through until their next one. When it was finally time to stream, he eagerly waited for Nagi to join. Chigiri and Kunigami were there first, so he chatted with them and maintained his usual expression, his regular smile..but the second Nagi joined the stream, he couldn’t help the way his tone betrayed the love he kept locked in his heart. While his mind maintained everything contained, every other part of him joined forces to hand those feelings the key. He never verbalized them, but they found ways to manifest in the way his eyes sparkle and melt into violet rivers.
He could not quite understand this phenomenon, the way Nagi’s existence was like soft whispers tinged with enchantment, an incantation pulling him to his side, not simply to play with him but to be with him, to take care of his treasure..but it actually wasn’t magic at all. Nagi is quite magical to him..but not in an “sorcerer” kind of way, simply in a colorful way. All Reo knew was that challenging that genius made the monochromic keys of his piano play an unfamiliar tune that freed his heart from the shackles of that dull life, that he didn’t have to draw different types of smiles on the daily anymore because it was finally genuine, and that he loved him a lot, but that remained a secret between himself and his mirror.
Nagi suddenly spoke into his mic, a soft, sleepy “I’m here.”
“Nagi!” He sat up properly, eyes lighting up and a radiant smile illuminating his face, “you’re quite late, we were waiting for you to choose your cat.” Chigiri had suggested they played Pico Park, where they’re a bunch of cats collaborating to solve puzzles to get the key and unlock the door to complete the level.
“Notice how he was only excited to greet Nagi..We don’t exist to Romeo and Juliet” Chigiri said.
Kunigami hummed in agreement as Reo rolled his eyes to the camera, “I was just greeting him..”
Then, Reo’s eyes grasped a few texts in the chat that made him want to turn his camera off.
nagireotruther: well duh, boyfriend gets a special greeting🙂↕️
pxrpleskies: poor Chigiri and Kunigami having to deal with this every time…
nagis#1fan: LMAO the way he literally jumped from his seat the second Nagi entered😭
scaramochie: The smile of a man in love fr
Ah man, is it that obvious?? Hide it Reo, don’t say anything otherwise you may slip up..
He cleared his throat, hoping he didn’t look as red as he felt, “you sound sleepy, you sure you wanna play?”
“I’m not sleepy anymore..Reo’s voice gives me life..” Nagi replied, making it worse for Reo to act normal. How are you so cute? I need to squeeze you..
“You seriously want us to not comment on that?” Chigiri asked before sighing, “actually I will just ignore that, let’s start.”
reoglazer13: i can’t even tell who’s more down bad for the other anymore😭
kavehmypookie: HE LITERALLY SAID REO GIVES HIM LIFE!!
silverspringsxx: live confession innn ?? 😏
nagireo4evxr: not the gayest thing he’s ever said to Reo even
Reo kept his focus on the game, trying not to let the chat’s words get to him. Sure, he harbored feelings for Nagi, but those feelings were meant to reside in his heart silently. He could not risk telling Nagi and scaring off the one thing in his life that he doesn’t have to fake, the one person he can be himself with, the one boy that makes him laugh from the heart. Though, sometimes the urge of asking Nagi “what am I to you” fought its way to the surface. He had to fight back and submerge it underneath those waves that keep crashing. But no matter how hard he tried, love was instilled into his soul. He had to keep sowing seeds of platonic pretense to surcease those surging, undeniable affections.
During the game, Nagi’s cat stayed next to Reo’s, and he didn’t miss any opportunity to say “Reo’s amazing.” He said it so often that Chigiri and the chat joked about making a game out of it. Reo just smiled, making sure to praise his treasure every time he solved a puzzle too. The next level had a lot of platforms, and the key was at a very high position. “Alright, I’ll climb and jump,” Chigiri said, “the rest of you form a ladder.”
“Nah, I’ll do it,” Nagi objected, “alright stay like you are, I’ll get on top of Reo.”
“Of course you’d say that,” Chigiri sighed.
Nagi kept trying to make the jump, but the platform was at an annoyingly high place, “what a hassle, okay Reo, move slightly to the left, I’ll get on top of you again.”
“Is he hearing himself?" Chigiri’s question wasn’t directed at anyone in particular, just his usual regret of joining their streams. “We’re never getting that key, he’s enjoying that too much.”
“I dunno what you’re talking about,” Nagi’s tone was as nonchalant as ever, “I’m just trying to get the key.”
iheartnagi: hey so this is crazy
rosiepetals: LMAO sounds about right🤭
reoluvr: ???
nagireopresident: nagi standing on business fr😝
nagireo4evxr: there’s no need for the “of you” man
“Hm, what’s so crazy?” Reo replied to the chat. His focus was on helping Nagi, moving as instructed, but the key still refused to be caught, “this is testing my patience, okay Nagi, let me get on top of you for a change.”
“They have to be doing it on purpose..” Chigiri muttered.
“Hm?” Reo asked, still clueless, “we just wanna get the key, if you guys wanna jump be my guest.”
cryingin720p: ???
purpleceo: this is gold
chifuyusunshine: I’M SCREAMINGGG U CAN’T TELL ME THEY’RE NOT DATING😭
kokonupis: adding to the top nagireo moments collection
Once they finally got the key, they moved on to another next level, one with magnets to pull items, or other players. As soon as he saw it, an “oh no,” escaped from Chigiri.
“Hey Reo,” Nagi said softly, “still keeping our promise? We’ll play together forever.”
Reo giggled, “of course Nagi.”
“Come here then,” Nagi’s cat pulled Reo’s cat towards it, their magnets pressed together, merging into one. “Forever.”
A gentle smile was painted across Reo’s face as warmth unfurled within him. For a moment, he forgot the camera and the game itself, treating the magnet like it was binding him to Nagi himself, “you wanna stay glued to my side treasure?”
“Yes, stay with me Reo.” Nagi replied, frozen in place.
“Are you kid-..” Chigiri started, then stopped himself, “hey let’s leave Romeo and Juliet over there and go get the key ourselves.”
“I’m right behind you,” Kunigami followed.
kokonupis: THIS IS SO CUTE IM SCREAMINGGG😭
nagireo4evxr: they really just keep getting gayer every stream huh
reoreoreo19: Chigiri is so done lmao
bironichero: relax bro he’s not going anywhere 😭
mizis00: THEY BOTH WANT THAT COOKIE SO FUCKING BADDD
Reo saw every message, but tried to not say anything about it. “You’re gonna have to let me go if we wanna finalize this though,” He chuckled, not really wanting to put an end to whatever this was. Magnets huh..we are just like one, always together, just like the north and south poles, an eternal attraction..if you feel the same about me..
Once their cats finally let go of each other to proceed, Nagi kept pulling Reo back, gluing their magnets together. “My bad, by mistake,” he’d say, to which Chigiri would reply, “mistake my ass.”
After that, they entered a level where a monster slept above the key, guarding it.
“Hm, how are we supposed to approach this?” Kunigami asked
“Hm…Reo,” Nagi immediately jumped in, “you stay behind me okay? I’ll protect you.”
“Aww,” Reo chuckled, his smile still glued to his face, “no treasure, I will protect you!”
“Don’t die before I do..” Nagi muttered, jumping in front of Reo.
“For the love of..” Chigiri sighed loudly, stopping himself from saying whatever he wanted to say next, “if one dies, we all have to repeat it, it literally means nothing if you take the hit for him.”
“I’d still do it,” Nagi said, not caring about the game rules.
rosiepetals: that’s the most romantic thing ever omg🥰
scaramochie: when’s yearnshiro gonna quit gaming and start writing poetry?
phxntomthief13: DON’T DIE BEFORE I DO???😭😭😭
nagiceooo: calm down Shakespeare
nagireo4evxr: we will all be at the wedding chat
“Wedding??” Reo replied out loud to the message he saw in the chat before shrugging it off and focusing on the game. Nagi made sure to keep his cat in front of Reo, “maybe if I go in first and you guys stay behind-ah what a pain,” he said as he died, “seems it doesn’t matter if only one approaches.”
Reo was quiet, his mind set on how cute Nagi is, the words he says, how he strives to protect him even in game. His brain stalled, replaying every cute gesture, every soft-spoken word implanting itself, flooding his ribcage and flapping its wings all over his heart. He nearly forgot he was the one streaming, “oh um,” he rolled his shoulder in circles, sitting up straight, “trial and error time, let’s see how to take the key.”
“Maybe we can jump towards it?” Kunigami asked.
They all hopped, but the monster still killed them. Nagi took the hit for Reo as promised, not that it mattered to the game, but to him, it was all that mattered.
“Maybe we go really slowly?” Reo suggested, “he’s sleeping so the goal would be to not wake him.”
“Reo’s so smart,” Nagi said, earning yet another bright smile from Reo.
“Alright Romeo, less talking, more walking,” Chigiri said.
“Wait, why’s Nagi Romeo?” Reo asked.
Chigiri chuckled, “that’s all you wanna ask?”
Once the key was secured, they played another level, where they were all tied together to the rope.
“The key’s down there,” Kunigami pointed out, “who are we gonna dangle from the cliff?”
“Nagi,” Chigiri replied, “he’d offer to do it for Reo anyway.”
“Hm,” Nagi huffed, “okay, walk closer so I can jump down.”
“Careful treasure,” Reo sounded actually concerned, as if Nagi was climbing down a real mountain.
“I’ll come back up for Reo,” Nagi assured him.
“Dude..” Chigiri sighed louder than before, but refrained from speaking. The chat was saying it all anyway.
“Careful,” Reo instructed, “slow steps Nagi, we got you, you can do it, yes, almost there, yes!” He exclaimed when Nagi picked up the key, “good boy Nagi.”
“..Hm..thanks boss,” Nagi’s voice dwindled away before he suddenly muted himself.
“Boss?” Chigiri did not sound surprised at all
“Hm?” Reo asked, “you okay Nagi?”
“Why don’t you pet him while you’re at it,” Chigiri almost laughed, “Nagi, you alive?”
iheartchigiri: GOOD BOY?!😭😭
nagireo4ever: BOSS??
mikagelover: new nickname unlocked lmao
phxntomthief13: hey so that’s a crazy thing to say to your “buddy”😭
kokonupis: NAGI WENT SILENT LMAO IS HE FREAKING OUT TOO
nagireo4evxr: Nagi’s probably just stopping himself from saying something worse ngl
Reo peeked at the chat, suddenly realizing he might have freaked Nagi out with that.
It just slipped out..man, did he not like being called that?
“Nagi?” He asked again, hoping Nagi would stop hiding away.
“Hm sorry, I had to go..open the door,” Nagi said calmly.
“Even I don’t believe that,” Kunigami spoke, taking Chigiri’s role.
Even you?? Reo sighed, almost burying his face in his hands and lamenting his choice of words. But Nagi seems okay with it..maybe he really just had something to take care of..
He shook all thoughts out of his brain, focusing on the game and kept his comments light. But being around Nagi, be it in person or in games, entailed cuteness aggression. He had to control his heart and mend it to his will, but it had a will of its own, only beating to its own rhythm.
They then entered a level where each cat was carrying a gun. “Do we start attacking each other?” Chigiri asked.
“You’ve been waiting for that haven’t you,” Kunigami chuckled, “who goes first?”
“Hm, let’s see,” Nagi asked, aiming the gun at Kunigami. Then, when he clicked the button, Kunigami’s cat was in his gun, “oh, it sucks you in, okay get out.”
“Let me guess, you want Reo in your gun instead,” Chigiri was close to being done for the day.
“Mhm,” Nagi didn’t even lie, why should he, the whole world knew his love for Reo, except Reo apparently, “Reo, get in my gun,” he kicked Kunigami out and took Reo in instead.
Reo giggled warmly, his face lighting up with another sunny smile, “now I’m part of you.”
“I’ll keep Reo in my gun forever,” Nagi hummed softly, causing Reo’s face to beam brighter. He could not recall any time prior to meeting Nagi where he ever smiled this much.
Silence settled for almost a minute until Chigiri broke it with a “hello? You guys plan to move?”
“Oh yea, my bad, got..distracted by something,” Nagi said, finally moving forward.
“Something huh, would that something be Reo’s smile?” Chigiri teased, already knowing the answer.
“Reo’s smile..is the best thing in the world so, who wouldn’t be distracted?” Nagi’s words held no hesitation in them, uttered instantly like a world-known fact.
scaramochie: smooth af yearnshiro😭
nagireo4evxr: next thing you know he’s gonna be buying Reo a wedding ring in Stardew Valley
demolitionluvrs: HIS FAVORITE THING IS REO’S SMILE THIS IS STRAIGHT OUT OF A ROMANCE NOVEL
The butterflies inside Reo threw a party, wings flapping against his ribcage in an attempt to escape. Everything was rustling, hammering, buzzing..a symphony of sounds that danced and flowed through him until it settled down and nothing remained but the gentle chimes of Nagi’s words, of Nagi’s voice..Nagi.
The fortress he built around the whispers of his heart was just a sandcastle, easily destroyed by the waves Nagi’s words carried upon his shore. Maybe I should..tell him how I feel..
Maybe..I..
I can’t..
Once the stream ended, relief somewhat flooded him. If it had gone any longer, who knows what he would have said. Yet, that sense of relief always mingled with something bordering on regret. You never know unless you try, or so they say.
What if I try and then regret it?
Heh. You’re always gonna say that, aren't you?
Don’t be a coward. Reo Mikage is anything but a coward, so do something about it.
How annoying.
He flopped face-down onto his mattress, burying his nose against the soft fabric, wishing it were Nagi instead. He loved hugging him whenever they met in person, playing with his hair, pinching those mochi-like cheeks..
Regret, huh, is that what’s stopping me?
He knew he could not easily eliminate those chains buckling his knees and weighing him down to prevent him from rushing into Nagi with the truth. I like you so much..but I..
Regret followed everyone like a phantom, lurking through any choice one thought of. One path would always remain untrodden. He’d much rather take the path where Nagi walked alongside him. Even if it meant feigning ignorance to the language inside him and speaking platonically.
Or perhaps he should just spit it out.
He sighed, picking up his phone and opening the group chat he created with himself only, an audio diary of voice messages he could never truly send, but therapeutic enough to record.
“Hey Nagi,” he clicked on record, letting the unspoken, caged words out, even if there was nobody on the other side to hear them, “I had a lot of fun with you today..and when you said my smile was the best thing in the world..well, my heart leapt into the sky,” he chuckled softly, replaying those words in his head over and over again, “I wish I could see your smile one day..I’m sure it’s even more beautiful than you say mine is..I want to be the reason for your smiles..I want to be as special to you as you are to me.”
“And um, Nagi..,” he continued, “I like you..a lot. I love your endearing laziness and how you whine “reoo” whenever you’re being needy. I love how your eyes glimmer when you’re with me, how you enjoy your silly drinks and treats. I love how you always let me hug you when I need it, how your features harden when you’re in your full-focus mode, but your eyes remain gentle..I love your little gestures..how you rub your neck when you’re nervous, as if that would help..heh..you always find something that’ll help huh..well, can you help me deal with this?” He sighed, sending the voice message and watching it pile up with the rest of them, a visual manifestation of love’s cowardice.
Nagi..I want to see you.
Before he could back down, he opened the real Nagi’s chat and sent, “heyyy! Hope you had fun today treasure٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و”
He waited inside the chat itself until those typing dots appeared, “I did,” Nagi replied.
“Is everything okayyy?? You seemed a little tense for a while there,” he sent, hoping he wasn’t making it even more awkward.
“All good,” Nagi’s replies were always straight to the point. Sometimes it irked Reo, like now.
“Nagii,” he sent, followed by, “do you wanna hang out tomorrow??”
Ahh, he’s not typing even! What if he understood that as a date and got weirded out..I mean..that’s what I want but I can’t scare him off like that, let me fix it.
“You know, if we hang out and post a picture together, it’d bring more attention to our channels😋” There, that should fix it.
While he was writing that, he saw that Nagi was typing at the same time, but it came to a halt. Hm..did he not buy my excuse? Is he mad?
But then, the dots came back again, and a simple “sure Reo” popped on the screen.
Reo sighed, sending a quick “greattt then see ya tomorrow! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ )” before putting his phone down. Maybe one day he wouldn’t have to churn up his brain to explain himself every single time he asked Nagi out. Friends hang out together all the time anyway, it didn’t have to be more..Even if he wanted more.
Do you..want more as well..treasure?
Ah, don’t start now brain.
Before going to sleep, he scrolled on his phone for a while and saw Nagi upload a picture of their cats glued together with the magnets during the game, captioned “Pico Park with the gang.” Reo smiled, opening the comments to see Chigiri’s at the top “the gang yet the picture is just with Reo hm.”
All the other comments were the same as today’s chat, screaming, calling them Nagireo, asking for the wedding date, or dating confirmation. He huffed, putting his phone on the nightstand. I want to make those rumors about us to be true..Nagi..
Someday…