Archive of Our Own ^beta

Here’s how Daeyoung expected his life to go:

1. Make his acting debut in a critically acclaimed project
2. Get cast as the main character in a movie by the age of 20 
3. Awards, fame, success, money, etc.

Here’s how it’s actually going:

1. Graduated in Film at 23 years old
2. Signed with a no-name agency
3. Only got cast in one (1) web drama despite going to a thousand auditions
4. Is currently about to kiss a boy for the first time in his life

That last point might seem unrelated, but it’s actually very related. 

As a nobody actor who’s only been an extra in low budget web dramas (as Male Student #4 —Male Student #1 if he gets lucky), Daeyoung doesn’t have a lot of options regarding his career. He can’t afford to be picky about which projects he auditions for or what kind of parts he gets. He goes to whatever audition his agency books him for, acts his ass off, and babbles a string of “Thank you so much, I’ll work hard, you can count on me, I’ll do my best” when he gets the phone call telling him he’s been granted the role of School Bully #1. 

Now, Daeyoung’s 25 years old, and he feels like he’s running out of time, like his career is already dead and buried in the ground. He still works as hard as ever, still does his absolute best at whatever part he’s given, still diligently attends acting classes, and still dreams of stardom and recognition when he lays at night in the cramped one-room apartment his agency rents out for him. But it’s also a very real fact that all of his college friends, the ones who pursued the same dream as him, have either already made it big or they’ve long given up and switched paths. 

A month ago, he had a drink with one of his old classmates, who spent the whole evening complaining about his corporate job and how tired he was of everything. Daeyoung recalled his face, back in college, when he used to talk of the stage with stars in his eyes, and couldn’t see that boy in the man before him anymore. The realization sent shivers down his spine. What if he ended up like that one day? Was that the future he was doomed to?

“Until when are you going to keep chasing after an impossible dream?” his friend had asked him. 

That’s what Daeyoung is thinking about when he accepts the role. The mediocre script laying in his lap, his manager trying to convince him that these types of dramas are all the rage recently, his CEO’s tired face as he looks at him —all of it fades into the background. All Daeyoung can think about is his friend’s words, echoing over and over in his head. Until when are you going to keep chasing after an impossible dream? 

Until I’ve done everything I could, Daeyoung thinks.

That’s how he ends up on the set of a Boys’ Love drama at seven in the morning, make-up and hair done, clutching the script he’s read at least a thousand times over before today.

Daeyoung’s never been interested in BLs, or in anything of the sort. He’s never seen one and he certainly hadn’t planned to star in one. Ever. But two months ago, a script had been sent to him, specifically him, with a note from the director saying how they’d fallen in love with Daeyoung when they saw him in The Sunshine of My Life, Daeyoung’s last project.

The Sunshine of My Life was a generic high school slice of life rom-com, the kind that’s already been done a thousand times before, the kind where the beautiful girl falls in love with the bad boy at first sight and they get together by episode 6. The Sunshine of My Life was only eight episodes anyway, so it might even have counted as a slow burn.

Of course, Daeyoung didn’t get the main lead —the brooding bad boy. Sure, he’d auditioned for it. He’d put his best I’m Just Misunderstood face on and delivered his lines as convincingly as he could, but ultimately, he just didn’t have what it takes. He couldn’t hide his kind eyes, the ingénue look he has about him. 

So, unfortunately, he didn’t get the main part, but he’d gotten a call back: Hello, is this Kim Jaeyoung? Ah, yes, I meant Kim Daeyoung… Congratulations, you got the role of Sungho.

A role with a name! Daeyoung had jumped up and down at the news, ecstatic. It was his first time getting a real part, one with a multidimensional personality and more than five lines. He also had a couple of scenes with the main lead (the bad boy he’d failed to be convincing enough for), which meant more exposure. After reading the script, Daeyoung realized his character only appeared in three episodes but that was fine. Three out of eight episodes was good, almost half of the show. Daeyoung was basically one of the main characters.

He’d worked his ass off for that project. He always arrived early on set, bowed 90 degrees to every staff member, and never tripped over his lines. He wanted to make a good impression, just in case someone noticed him and thought “Hey, that kid is good. I’ll cast him as the main character in my next Oscar winning movie”. Who knew?

After the drama got uploaded on Youtube, Daeyoung spent days refreshing the page of every episode he appeared in, scanning the comments in case someone had mentioned him. The only thing he’d gotten were a couple of people calling him cute, which was nice, but nothing close to what he was hoping for.

Until that day, when the script had come for him in the mail. Finally, someone —and a director at that!— had taken notice of him, had sent a script specifically for him. Daeyoung wouldn’t even have to audition. The director wanted him for the part. Daeyoung thought this only happened to big shot actors, the people he’d watched on television and movie screens, but by some stroke of luck, it had happened to him.

He’d ripped the envelope holding the script and immediately started reading it, his eyes barely skimming over the title, the director’s name, or the list of characters. None of it mattered, at this point. Daeyoung would have accepted any role, especially one that he’d been offered. It could’ve been a man with a weird furry kink, a repulsive creature that only speaks in grunts and moans —anything. He would have done it in a heartbeat.

But as he’d kept reading, he’d felt something was strange. The plot was questionable, the characterization unclear, but no, this wasn’t what was throwing him off. First of all, there wasn’t a singular female character, which he found unusual, but it wasn’t completely unheard of. Beyond the absence of women, something else was weird. As the story progressed, two of those male characters were growing suspiciously close…

Scene 14

Jihoon’s living room, afternoon.
Jihoon sits next to Haru on the couch. They look into each other’s eyes in silence, then Jihoon leans in and—

Daeyoung closed the script with a snap. Confused, he turned it around and scanned the first page.

The Love in Your Eyes

Boys’ Love - Web drama

Boys’ Love? Daeyoung stared at the two words, as if they would suddenly start moving around and metamorphose into something else. When they didn’t, he shut his eyes and shook his head, but when his eyes blinked open, the words were still very much the same. 

Daeyoung picked up the post-it note he’d discarded, the one from the director meant for him.

To: Mr. Kim Daeyoung

I’m an upcoming director working on my next web drama. I saw you in The Sunshine of My Life and fell in love with you right away. I think you would be the perfect fit for the role of Jihoon. I hope you will consider it.

Daeyoung’s eyes flickered between the note and the script, abandoned on the couch next to him. This director wanted Daeyoung to take on the role of a gay man? Well, boy —The Love in Your Eyes seemed to be a high school drama. Still, Daeyoung could scarcely believe it. Him? The director had thought of him specifically for this role? Was that Daeyoung’s typecast? Did he have a gay face? 

Daeyoung read the note again and bit his lip. Jihoon was the main character. This role could be huge for his career. He’d never played a main character before —The Sunshine of My Life had been his first real role at all. What did it matter if it was for a gay drama? It couldn’t be that different from regular rom-coms. He could do it.

Fast forward a few weeks and he’s on an indoor set replicating Jihoon’s —his character— apartment, somewhere in Mapo-gu, staring straight into the eyes of the man playing Haru, his onscreen partner. Daeyoung gulps as they greet each other. It’s not their first time meeting —they saw each other at table readings, a couple weeks ago, but they haven’t really talked together. 

Tokuno Yushi, the actor playing Haru, seems to be extremely busy —his manager’s always shuffling him around, talking about schedules and whatnot. Apparently, Yushi’s some sort of big shot in the BL scene in Japan (God knows what he’s doing in Korea acting in subpar web dramas), which only makes Daeyoung more nervous. What if he gets attacked by Yushi’s fans because he’s not good enough? When Daeyoung looked him up online, he found quite a few Twitter accounts and Youtube channels dedicated to Yushi and his past onscreen partners. If Yushi’s fans don’t deem Daeyoung worthy enough of sharing the screen with Yushi, they’ll tear him to shreds. Daeyoung doesn’t have any fans of his own to defend him, he’ll get eaten alive! 

But the threat of getting bullied by Yushi’s fans is not the only thing making Daeyoung nervous. Though Yushi made a nice first impression during the couple table readings they had, exchanging polite smiles across the table and kissing, and holding hands, and making out, and being all up each other is a whole other story.

Daeyoung has spent days and nights bent over the script, analyzing every single scene, every single line that he’ll have to share with Yushi. He knows when he’ll have to look longingly at him from afar, when they’ll hold hands, and what scenes they’ll kiss in. He’s mentally prepared for all of it. He even practiced the physical contact parts with his friend Riku. Daeyoung promised he'd buy him that Nintendo Switch game he’d been eyeing if he agreed, and Riku had called him cheap, but he’d let him practice with him. It was the perfect arrangement since Riku was also Japanese. Like method acting.

So Daeyoung had practiced —he’d threaded his fingers with Riku’s even if it made him gag, he’d caressed his cheek gently, he’d wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him, et cetera. He’d done everything he could think of to and with Riku, and as a result, he did grow accustomed to touching another man. Having grown up with brothers, Daeyoung’s used to getting held and kissed on the cheek, but it turned out to be very different with a non-family member, to say the least. 

Until today, Daeyoung was confident he could do those scenes without much trouble thanks to his practice with Riku, but now that he’s actually on set, he’s not sure anymore. He keeps stealing glances at Yushi across the room, who hasn’t left his manager’s side since he arrived. Just as he thinks maybe he should go talk to him, break the ice and put the awkwardness behind them, maybe go over their lines together a bit before shooting, the director calls Yushi over.

Daeyoung’s eyes follow him as Yushi walks over to where the director is standing, looking at the script in his hands. He doesn’t even look up when Yushi comes up to him and talks to him with his eyes stuck on his script. Daeyoung’s eyes flicker from Yushi to the director. 

Oh Sion is young, only a few years older than Daeyoung, but he already has quite a few projects under his belt. From what Daeyoung has heard, Sion started directing when he was still in college, starting with short films for school events and independent film festivals. One of his short films got an award at some renowned festival, which put him in the limelight three years ago. With the prize money, he’d gone on to direct more short films, until he switched to web dramas a little over a year ago. The Love in Your Eyes is his second drama, and his first BL.

After accepting the role, Daeyoung had looked him up and watched all of his works he could find online. He’d managed to dig up two short films and his last web drama. The short films were good, especially the one that got an award, but they were wildly different from what Daeyoung had expected. The atmosphere of Sion’s works was somber, cryptic, almost eerie. There was some sort of social commentary in them, but Daeyoung hadn’t understood all of it. The web drama had been closer to what Daeyoung expected, a light slice of life show about a boy living on a farm.

None of his works had any romance, though, which puzzled Daeyoung. Why had Sion suddenly switched to directing a love story, and a gay one at that? Despite his curiosity, he couldn’t bring himself to ask. One, because Sion was the director, which meant he might as well have been king of the set, and two, because Daeyoung felt strangely intimated by Sion.

He first met Sion at the first table reading, two weeks ago. Thanks to his little investigation online, Daeyoung knew that Sion was only three years older than him, but he was still surprised at how young Sion looked. Not to mention that he was extremely beautiful, the kind of beauty that deserves to stand in front of the camera rather than behind it. Daeyoung gaped at him, in awe, until his manager elbowed him in the side and Daeyoung bowed, embarrassed. 

When Daeyoung straightened his back, he met Sion’s eyes. Sion stared at him blankly and Daeyoung blinked. He’d expected a little more enthusiasm, or a smile at least, but he found none of it in Sion’s face. He didn’t look unkind per se, but Daeyoung had trouble relating the man in front of him to the post-it note he’d found on his script a few weeks ago. 

Daeyoung faltered, wondering if maybe Sion had already changed his mind, or if there’d been a mistake of some sort and he’d never intended to cast Daeyoung in the first place, but Sion didn’t say anything and the table readings proceeded as normal. Daeyoung did his best, wanting to prove himself, and he kept stealing nervous glances at Sion at the end of the table between every line, but nothing happened. Sion didn’t jump from his seat and ask Daeyoung to leave his project, so Daeyoung assumed he’d done well enough.

When he arrived on set this morning, Sion was already there. Daeyoung had gone to say hello and Sion had acknowledged his greeting with a nod and a quick “hello” before going back to talking with the staff member he’d been chatting with. 

As Daeyoung stares at Sion and Yushi, deep in conversation, Sion’s eyes meet his over his script and Daeyoung freezes like a deer caught in headlights. Weirdly, he can’t avert his gaze or do anything but stare at Sion, an unfamiliar feeling crawling down his spine. It only lasts a few seconds before Sion tears his eyes away, looking back at his script, but time might as well have stopped for Daeyoung.

He wonders what Sion saw in him, a no name actor, that made him want to have him play his main character. Daeyoung wants to do a good job on this drama because it could help boost his career immensely, but more than that, he doesn’t want to disappoint Sion, the director who chose to give him a chance. It’s a lot of pressure, but Daeyoung knows he can do it. He’s dreamt of being an actor since he was a kid —he’s spent more time in acting classes than at home, memorizing lines, practicing facial expressions, perfecting his diction and vocal projection. He knows he can do a good job.

He takes deep breaths and goes over his lines again, imprinting them behind his eyelids. Everything will be fine, he reassures himself, he just has to do as he’s practiced. Yes, everything will be perfectly fine.

What Daeyoung hadn’t expected was for Sion to make them start with Scene 14. 

Scene 14? Scene 14… Daeyoung racks his brain, trying to remember which scene it is. He gives up and opens his script, flipping the pages until he lands on Scene 14. His eyes scan the page in horror. Scene 14. Of course he knows Scene 14, how could he forget? It’s the first and only kissing scene of the drama, the one after Jihoon and Haru confess their feelings to each other at Jihoon’s house. 

Daeyoung knew they’d probably get to that scene soon since they’re shooting all of the scenes taking place at Jihoon’s house over the next three days, before changing sets, but he didn’t think it would literally be the first scene they filmed! He looks over at Yushi, still standing with Sion, and their eyes meet briefly. Daeyoung looks away immediately, embarrassed, but Yushi seems calm, unbothered. He’s listening intently to what Sion is saying to him, nodding and pointing at the script every now and then. 

Daeyoung, on the other hand, feels like his heart is about to explode in his chest. It must be beating at about a thousand beats per minute and he can feel his palms grow moist. He wipes them on his pants nervously. He needs to calm down. It’s just acting. It’s his job —if he can’t even go through with a little kissing scene, he shouldn’t even call himself an actor.

Still, Daeyoung’s never kissed a boy before. He’s never felt the desire to, nor has the opportunity ever presented itself to him. Though he figures it can’t be that different from kissing a girl —not that he has a lot of experience with that either— he can’t help but be nervous. What if he hates it? Will he be able to overlook it? He has to. Yes, it’s part of his job, after all. It can’t possibly be that bad.

He thinks of Riku’s advice. For obvious reasons, kissing is the only thing they didn’t practice together. Daeyoung had told him how anxious he was about the whole thing, how he wasn’t sure if he could do it, and Riku had laughed at him —quite cruelly, by the way, considering Daeyoung had been about to throw up from stress.

“If it bothers you that much, just close your eyes and imagine you’re kissing a girl,” he’d told Daeyoung.

It’s not a bad idea. He has to close his eyes for the scene anyway, and Yushi seems small enough to pass as a girl. 

Sion calls Daeyoung over to brief him on the scene, and Daeyoung walks up to him under Yushi’s stare. There’s something intense about Yushi’s eyes, commanding even, and Daeyoung’s not sure what to do with himself as he approaches. He stands next to Yushi, close enough to not be awkward, but not so close that they touch. 

Just like when he’d been talking to Yushi, Sion barely lifts his eyes from his script when he starts talking.

“I just want to check your chemistry, how you work with each other,” he says. “Don’t think too hard about it, just go with the flow.”

Daeyoung blinks, waiting for more instructions, but it seems like Sion’s done talking. He feels panic rise in his throat again. He’d expected a bit more guidance from the director, more, well, directions. Yushi only nods and Daeyoung swallows both his complaints and questions, not wanting to come across as the only one being completely oblivious. But he is oblivious —he has no idea how to go about the scene. The only directions written in the script are about how the kiss is supposed to “start light and sweet and then grow deeper, more passionate”. Daeyoung has no idea how to do all that.

Though Riku told him to picture a girl instead, the truth is Daeyoung barely has any experience kissing girls either. He shared a few chaste pecks with his girlfriends from school, and then, he got too busy trying to make his career happen to date. He’s never kissed a girl with tongue before and now he’s supposed to make out with a guy he’s only shared a few words with, and the director supposed to direct them isn’t directing at all. It’s all pointing towards a complete disaster of a first take. 

Yushi walks over to the living room set, getting in position, and Daeyoung follows him, dejected. Well, the only thing left for him to do is pray for the best. 

After the make-up artist is done touching up his foundation, Daeyoung sits down on the couch next to Yushi. He smiles awkwardly at him, who smiles back but doesn’t say anything. Daeyoung clears his throat, trying to come up with something to say. He’s desperate to share any kind of conversation with Yushi before they start shooting, so that they can at least break the ice a bit, and not go straight into exploring each other’s mouths. 

“Let’s… Let’s do well,” he ends up saying like a complete moron.

Yushi smiles at him again and nods but he remains silent. Did he not understand me? Maybe he doesn’t speak Korean, Daeyoung thinks. No, that can’t be right, he seemed to understand when Sion was talking earlier. In any case, considering the way Daeyoung just fumbled with his words, it might be better if Yushi didn’t understand him. He sounded even more like a foreigner than Yushi probably does. 

After a few minutes of awkward silence, people around them start to scatter and Daeyoung understands that they’re about to start shooting. His heart begins to speed up again in his chest. He glances at Yushi next to him, who looks as relaxed as before. This helps calm Daeyoung down slightly —if Yushi’s not nervous, he probably doesn’t have any reason to be. He then remembers that Yushi’s some sort of gay icon in Japan, which might explain why he’s not worried, and his heart starts racing again.

On the edge of the set, Sion is standing next to a cameraman. It seems like he’s talking to him, but his eyes are locked on Daeyoung —or rather on Daeyoung and Yushi. Daeyoung clears his throat. He’s probably imagining the way Sion seems to be staring at him. 

With his heart beating in his ears, Daeyoung barely hears Sion yelling “Action!”. He takes one last deep breath and slowly turns to Yushi. He’s thankful that this scene doesn’t have any lines, because he’s not sure any words would have been able to come out of his throat right now. 

He reaches out to cup Yushi’s face with his hand like the script says he has to. He wishes they could’ve at least rehearsed the scene before going straight to filming, because he has to move his hand around a bit to find the right angle on Yushi’s cheek. He manages to make it look natural, though, and he internally pats himself on the head. So far, so good, he thinks. 

Yushi looks up at him through his eyelashes and Daeyoung’s heart skips a beat as he looks at him. Yushi sure is pretty like a girl. His almond eyes, two pools of deep black reflecting Daeyoung’s own face, his high nose, his rosy lips, his porcelain skin… Daeyoung thumbs at the scar on Yushi’s cheek and allows himself to look at it for a few seconds. Yushi’s eyelashes flutter at the contact and Daeyoung swallows. He can do it. Riku’s right, he just has to imagine he’s kissing a girl.

He closes his eyes and leans in to brush his lips against Yushi’s. Light and sweet, then deeper, more passionate, Daeyoung repeats in his head, clinging to the few instructions he got on how to go about that kiss. He does the best he can, softly pecking Yushi’s lips and rubbing his thumb back and forth against his cheek to give his hands something to do. Yushi’s lips are as soft as his skin, and he smells faintly of citrus.

Seconds pass and Daeyoung’s aware he needs to take the kiss further, go from sweet to passionate —Jihoon’s the one supposed to take initiative, he’s more eager, less patient than Haru— but he’s not sure how. His heart’s thumping furiously against his chest and the set is so silent that he can hear every single sound Yushi and him are making as their lips move against each other. Daeyoung feels his face grow warm. It’s the most self-conscious he’s ever been —he imagines all of the staff observing the scene, the cameramen looking at them through their lens, Sion watching from his seat. 

Just when Daeyoung’s about to die of embarrassment, Yushi grabs his collar and forcefully parts Daeyoung’s lips with his tongue to deepen the kiss. Daeyoung makes a noise in his throat that he desperately hopes no one heard, but judging by the way Yushi smiles against his lips, at least one person did. 

It’s too late to go back now, so Daeyoung lets Yushi lick the inside of his mouth and tentatively pushes his own tongue against his. You’re kissing a girl. You’re kissing a girl. If he thinks it hard enough, he can almost convince himself. Yushi’s lips are soft and the sound of his breathing is light and airy, just like a girl’s. Daeyoung breathes through his nose loudly, trying to make the kiss last as long as possible. When Yushi pulls away from him, Daeyoung stares at him and gulps.

“Cut.”

Daeyoung looks over to where Sion’s sitting and knows immediately that he messed up. Even if Sion told them not to think too deeply about the take, Daeyoung wanted to do well, to prove that Sion hadn’t made a mistake in casting him, but the look on Sion’s face, a mixture of disappointment and frustration, makes his heart sink in his chest.

It’s obvious Sion’s disappointed in him —Yushi was perfect. He did all that he could with Daeyoung’s stiffness, and took the lead of the kiss even though Daeyoung was the one supposed to. Sion sighs, loud enough that Daeyoung hears it across the set, and all the staff members shuffle awkwardly on their feet, glancing between Sion and Daeyoung. Great, Daeyoung thinks, it seems like everyone knows he’s the one who fucked up. 

Daeyoung bites down on his lip, ashamed at his lack of professionalism, his inability to do something as simple as kiss another actor. It’s his job, for God’s sake, he should be able to do it even if it’s with a guy.

And he’s so apologetic towards Sion —Sion, the director who asked for him specifically. Daeyoung feels unworthy of his trust. What if Sion regrets casting him? What if he decides to replace him? Even though filming has started, it’s still only the beginning. It might still be a possibility.

Fear seizes Daeyoung, quickly replacing his embarrassment. He can’t let that role slip away from him. He needs it. He needs to prove himself, not only to Sion, but to himself. 

He starts standing up from the couch, intending to go talk to Sion, tell him that he’s sorry, that they can start over right away, that he’ll pull himself together, but before he can even take one step forward, Sion stands up from his seat.

“Let’s do Scene 14 another day. Everyone, take ten.”

Stupidly, Daeyoung feels tears well up in his eyes, threatening to fall. As soon as he realizes, he bites down on his tongue and blinks rapidly, trying to make the tears go away. There’s no way he’s about to start crying on set in front of everyone, on his first day of work nonetheless. He already feels embarrassed enough because of his failure, he doesn’t need to add the humiliation of crying in public on top of that. 

Next to him, Yushi says something in what Daeyoung supposes is Japanese, pulling him out of his thoughts. Daeyoung turns to him and sees Yushi staring at him, a wide grin on his face. Daeyoung frowns, confused. He just made them fuck up the take, why is Yushi smiling at him?

“Sorry?” Daeyoung asks. Yushi shakes his head and Daeyoung remembers their interaction from earlier. Maybe he really doesn’t understand Korean. “Oh, erm—” Unfortunately, Daeyoung doesn’t know any Japanese apart from “hello” and “thank you”, both of which seem inappropriate for the situation. He gapes at Yushi, trying to think of something, anything, but thankfully Yushi takes him out of his misery.

“I said you’re cute,” he says in perfect Korean.

“Oh! Thank—” Daeyoung begins before processing what Yushi just said. Immediately, his face flushes. “What?”

Yushi chuckles and pushes a strand of hair away from Daeyoung’s eyes. Daeyoung almost jumps off the couch, his face now completely red. Before either of them can say anything, Yushi’s manager calls him over. Yushi stands up and gives Daeyoung a kind smile.

“Don’t worry about Sion hyung,” he says, before turning around and leaving Daeyoung alone on the couch.

Daeyoung can’t help but frown at the comment. He’s a bit embarrassed that Yushi noticed how nervous Sion makes him, but he’s also confused at the familiarity with which Yushi talked about Sion. Daeyoung hadn’t been under the impression that Sion and Yushi knew each other before this, but something about Yushi’s tone, his use of Sion’s first name with the casual honorific nags at him. 

He pushes the thought to the back of his mind when they start filming again —not with Scene 14 this time, but a simple talking scene. Daeyoung needs to focus if he wants to get Sion’s trust back —because he’s certain that he’s lost it, or at least that it’s taken a hit after the failed kissing scene. 

The rest of the day goes without a hitch. Daeyoung manages to not mess up any of his other scenes, and a few staff members even compliment him on his acting, which comforts him slightly. It’s obvious everyone’s walking on eggshells around him, trying to lighten his mood after his mistake, but Daeyoung appreciates it. 

Sion barely looks at him for the rest of the day, even when he’s briefing him and Yushi about the scenes. Daeyoung deflates slightly, but he’s determined to get on Sion’s good side again. He gives his everything in all of his scenes, going above and beyond with his acting, and he doesn’t trip over a single line. After spending the whole day acting alongside Yushi, they grow more comfortable with each other, slowly erasing the light awkwardness that had been there in the morning and thus helping their acting be more natural. 

At the end of every take, Daeyoung glances at Sion hopefully, looking for a trace of praise or satisfaction in his eyes, but he finds none of it. Sion doesn’t look displeased or disappointed like after the attempt at Scene 14, but he keeps his expression painfully blank. It’s impossible to read Sion, and Daeyoung has no idea if he’s actually doing well or not, but at the end of the day, he still hasn’t gotten fired, so he takes it as a good sign.

Around 9 PM, the first day of filming finally comes to a close. Daeyoung lets out a sigh of relief as he takes off his make-up in the waiting room. He’s felt tense around Sion all day and he’s not sure how he’s going to be able to handle the next few weeks of filming like that. Hopefully he manages to earn Sion’s sympathy soon, but he’s honestly not off to a good start.

“Daeyoung,” Yushi calls from the door. 

Daeyoung stops scrubbing his face with the make-up wipe he’s holding and turns in his chair. “Yes?”

“Are you going to the staff dinner?” Yushi walks in the room and settles down in the chair next to Daeyoung.

“Yeah,” Daeyoung replies. He doesn’t really have a choice. His manager had been very insistent on Daeyoung going, talking about how he needs to take advantage of this opportunity to network and get on the staff’s good side. Daeyoung doesn’t really mind. If he’s going to spend the next few weeks with these people, he might as well get to know them. “Are you?”

Yushi nods and stands up. “See you, then.”

Before Yushi can leave, Daeyoung grabs his wrist. “Do you know if— Who will be there?” 

For some reason, he can’t say Sion’s name. He doesn’t want to seem like a bootlicker, but he’s been hoping for a chance to talk with Sion. He feels like he needs to assure him that he intends on doing his best for this project, but it’s been impossible to approach him all day —either Daeyoung was shooting, or Sion was busy giving directions to the staff. This dinner could be a good opportunity. It might be easier to talk with Sion in a more casual setting, outside of work.

Yushi smiles at him knowingly. “Everyone.”

“Okay. Thank you,” Daeyoung says before letting go of Yushi’s wrist. “Sorry.” They might’ve grown a little closer today but it’s still only their first day working together. Yushi’s probably thinking that Daeyound needs to chill, and he wouldn’t be wrong, but Daeyoung can’t chill. His career’s on the line.  

Yushi shakes his head. “Don’t worry. See you later.” He leaves with a little tap on Daeyoung’s shoulder. 

Daeyoung turns back to the mirror in front of him and rubs the make-up wipe over his face again. Maybe he should’ve kept the foundation for dinner. It does make his face look brighter. 

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The restaurant they’ve chosen for the staff gathering is an ordinary Korean BBQ place near the shooting location. Even from outside, Daeyoung can hear the sizzling of the meat grilling, the chatter across tables, the waiters scurrying around. Right before walking in, Daeyoung’s manager takes him aside.

“Try your best to socialize with everyone, okay? Everyone. You never know what it could lead you to.”

Junho, Daeyoung’s manager, is only a couple years older than him and started working at the company around the same time. He’s shorter than him, and he’s always biting his nails or bouncing his leg, always worried about something, reminding Daeyoung of a little mouse. He thinks Junho needs to take it easier, but he also has an inclination towards anxiety himself, so he can’t exactly blame his manager. And he appreciates how serious Junho takes his career, even despite the lack of prospects in front of Daeyoung. 

“Come on.” Daeyoung rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to tell me. I’m very good at socializing.”

Junho still looks nervous, but he nods nonetheless. Daeyoung gives him a comforting pat on the back and walks inside.

The noise inside the restaurant is almost deafening, with close to fifty staff members all eating and chatting together, but Daeyoung doesn’t let it dishearten him. He scans the room and finds a table with some make-up artists and stylists he briefly spoke to during the day, and heads towards them. They welcome him warmly, congratulating him for a successful first day of filming, and Daeyoung quickly loosens up. 

Dinner goes as well as it could’ve. Everyone is awfully nice, and most of the staff members are older than Daeyoung, so they dote on him affectionately. Being the youngest in his family makes it an easy dynamic for Daeyoung to work with. He pouts exaggeratedly and stretches out his words and leans his head on people’s shoulders, and by the end of the evening, he’s pretty sure he’s got everyone in love with him. 

A little before midnight, when everyone is drunk or very close to it, Daeyoung’s eyes find Sion across the restaurant. He’s sitting with some staff members Daeyoung recognizes as the cameramen and script writers, and, noticeably, Yushi. Though Daeyoung can’t hear them from his spot, he’s now certain that they know each other, and well —they look comfortable talking to one another. Sion even laughs loudly after Yushi says something, head thrown back, which startles Daeyoung. From what he’s seen of Sion until now, he didn’t strike him as the type to laugh this brightly. Or laugh at all. Daeyoung hadn’t even caught a hint of a smile on his face until now.

He stares at Sion and Yushi, growing more and more curious about the origin of their friendship, until Sion stands up. He says something to Yushi and grabs his jacket. Daeyoung’s eyes follow him to the door, and when he slips out of the restaurant, Daeyoung impulsively stands up. What is he doing, staring at Sion from afar? This is the opportunity he’s been waiting for. He takes one last shot of soju, for courage, before heading towards the exit. Thankfully, everyone seems too drunk to pay attention to him leaving the table.

Once he’s outside, his eyes dart around, looking for Sion, but he’s nowhere to be found. Daeyoung tries looking into the alley next to the restaurant and, sure enough, Sion is there, a cigarette between his lips. 

“Director Oh,” Daeyoung says as he steps into the dark alley. He shivers and wraps his arms around himself. In his hurry, he forgot to bring his jacket with him.

Sion glances at him above the thick frame of his glasses. He takes a drag out of his cigarette and exhales the smoke into the air. “You can call me by my name, Daeyoung. I’m barely older than you.”

“Oh,” Daeyoung says. “Erm… Okay.” He doesn’t actually intend to call Sion by his name —there’s no way he’d be able to. It’s true Sion’s only three years older, but he’s still his senior, and the director of the drama Daeyoung’s acting in, on top of that. Besides, Sion has this air about him, a sort of aura that makes him seem unapproachable. Daeyoung thinks even if they’d met outside of work, he wouldn’t have been able to talk casually with Sion. 

He leans against the wall in front of Sion quietly. He’s waited for this moment all day, an opportunity to apologize, to tell him he’ll do better, that he doesn’t want to disappoint him or to make him regret his decision of trusting him, but now that he’s here, he doesn’t know how to actually say it. His thoughts are a jumbled mess in his head and all the alcohol the staff made him drink isn’t particularly helping. 

“I know what you’re thinking, Daeyoung.” Sion takes another drag of his cigarette and flicks the ashes at the ground.

Daeyoung gulps. “You do?”

Sion hums. “You think you don’t deserve this, that I made the wrong decision casting you.”

Daeyoung lowers his eyes and bites his lip. Though he’s always dreamed of being an actor, he’s never been very confident in his skills. He’s always worked hard, trying his best during acting class, and both his academy teachers and his college professors used to praise him greatly when he was younger. But after graduating, he started doubting himself. There had to be a reason why he never got any talking part, why all his auditions amounted to nothing. Maybe he just wasn’t meant for this. 

When Daeyoung got Sion’s script, he was elated. Someone had seen him. Someone had noticed him and enjoyed his performance enough that they wanted it for themself. But as quick as the flame in Daeyoung’s heart had been rekindled, it had wavered. It had to be a mistake. Why would anyone want him? They were probably mistaken. They’d end up realizing Daeyoung didn’t have what it takes, that he’d only be a burden. Still, Daeyoung couldn’t let that opportunity pass him. So he’d agreed to the role with fear in his heart. Fear that Sion would come to the same conclusion he had —that he wasn’t good enough. 

“But you’re mistaken,” Sion continues, and Daeyoung looks up. “See, the thing you don’t know about me, Daeyoung, is that I don’t make wrong decisions. And my gut is always right.”

“But I made a mistake today,” Daeyoung retorts. All day, he hasn’t been able to shake off Sion’s disappointed look, the sympathetic smiles the staff gave him. 

“Are you talking about Scene 14?” Sion arches an eyebrow. “That’s easy to fix.”

Daeyoung frowns at Sion, puzzled. Sion strays from the wall and slides his cigarette from his mouth to his hand, tucking it between his pointer and middle finger. He takes a step closer and Daeyoung realizes that the alley is a lot more narrow than he thought, because with just a step, Sion’s right there, the tips of their shoes touching. Daeyoung stops breathing as Sion raises his hand, the one holding the cigarette, to Daeyoung’s cheek. 

“I told you,” Sion says, voice dropping low. His eyes look dark, the pupils almost indistinguishable from the iris, and he caresses Daeyoung’s cheek gently with his thumb, just like Daeyoung did to Yushi in the morning. “You start light and sweet.”

Before Daeyoung can understand what he means, Sion presses his mouth against his, softly. Daeyoung freezes as Sion brushes their lips together while his fingers thread through the hair behind his ear. Daeyoung can smell the smoke of Sion’s cigarette next to his head, feel the heat of it against his skin, but he doesn’t move. His train of thoughts has stopped, and the only thing he can focus on is the feeling of Sion’s plump lips against his. 

Sion shifts his focus to Daeyoung’s lower lip, catching it between his teeth lightly. When he starts sucking on it, Daeyoung whimpers, but he barely registers the sound that’s just come out of his mouth. Now that the initial shock has worn off, he realizes that Sion, Oh Sion, his director, is kissing him, and his brain almost short-circuits. Faintly, he thinks that he should push Sion away, go back inside the restaurant and pretend none of this ever happened, blame it on the alcohol, but he can’t move a finger. His heart hammers in his chest as Sion swipes his tongue over his lower lip, slowly. 

Sion pulls the tiniest bit away. “Then you make it more passionate.” 

He joins their lips in another kiss, this time more fervently. He pulls at Daeyoung’s hair and when Daeyoung gasps, he pushes his tongue past his lips, immediately finding Daeyoung’s own tongue. Daeyoung can barely contain the strangled noise that escapes him and his knees buckle when he feels Sion licking the inside of his mouth. Sion slides his other arm around Daeyoung’s waist, splaying his fingers against his bare skin, under his shirt. 

Daeyoung should push him away, get out of here while he still can, but as Sion kisses him, alternating between biting his lip and sucking on his tongue, Daeyoung realizes he doesn’t want to. The small sounds Sion makes in his mouth, the way he grazes his fingers against his hips, the fervor with which he slides his tongue against his, all of it makes a pleasant heat pool in Daeyoung’s stomach. He shuts his eyes and wraps his arms around Sion’s waist to pull him closer, but just as he starts moving his own tongue, trying to taste more of Sion, Sion pulls away. 

With his thick-framed glasses and the dark strands of hair that have fallen across his forehead, Daeyoung can barely see Sion’s eyes. What he can see, standing so close to him, is the smirk pulling at Sion’s lips as he wipes his tongue over them.

“Just like that,” Sion says. He removes his hand from Daeyoung’s cheek and puts his cigarette back between his lips. Daeyoung watches, entranced, as he takes one last long drag before throwing it at his foot and crushing it with his sole. 

Sion doesn’t say anything else before leaving.

A few minutes pass, during which Daeyoung stays pressed against the wall, unable to move. What just happened? He brushes his fingers over his lips dazedly, where Sion kissed him, like the heroine of a shoujo manga. 

Before today, he’d never kissed a guy, and now he has kissed two. And it’s not even midnight yet —who knows what else could happen? Daeyoung shakes his head and drops to the ground in a crouch, unable to stay standing any longer. He needs to gather his thoughts before he goes back inside the restaurant. 

Why would Sion kiss him? Even if he was just trying to show how the scene is supposed to go, straight up kissing him seems a little extreme. Maybe he’s just really committed to his job, Daeyoung’s inside voice suggests. Still —do directors usually go this far? He has no idea. This is his first time being a main character. 

But more importantly, why the hell had Daeyoung kissed him back? He flushes when he remembers Sion’s face as he kissed him, the way he’d touched his skin. He thinks of Sion’s mouth against his, the warmth of his tongue, the scraping of his teeth around his lower lip—

Daeyoung had enjoyed it. He’d wanted it to go on longer, he’d wanted to push Sion against the wall and make him feel as weak as he had. 

He must be going crazy. He’d found he hadn’t really minded kissing Yushi in the morning —it had been awkward, probably because fifty people had been watching them, also probably because it was their first take on top of being Daeyoung’s first time kissing a guy, ever— but it hadn’t felt like kissing Sion. Kissing Yushi had been tolerable, nice at best, but kissing Sion had felt like being preyed on by a wild animal. And Daeyoung hadn’t disliked it. Far from that, actually, even if he’d be embarrassed to admit it.

Does he like guys? Has he actually been gay this whole time? No, he does like girls. Bisexual, then? He’s never thought about it before. He’s never felt attracted to another guy before today.

Am I attracted to Director Oh? Daeyoung groans and puts his hands over his face. It’s the worst thing that could’ve happened to him. He can’t be having an identity crisis over his sexuality and fighting his attraction to his director —basically his boss— when he’s supposed to be focusing on doing his job, on taking his career further. 

Why would Sion do this to him?

──────────────────────

The next day, Daeyoung heads to the set with his stomach in knots. He’s hungover from yesterday’s dinner and seeing Sion again doesn’t help —he physically feels bile rise in his throat when their eyes meet across the room. 

He’d carefully avoided looking at him after coming back inside the restaurant yesterday, and he’d headed home soon after, unable to focus on anything but ignoring the man across the room (and failing). 

“Are you okay?” Yushi asks him before they start shooting.

“Yeah, I’m just tired,” Daeyoung lies, bending down for the make-up artist touching up his foundation.

Yushi doesn’t seem convinced, but he doesn’t press, which Daeyoung appreciates. He’s not sure he would be able to lie if Yushi started asking him questions, especially if they involved Sion.

The first half of the day goes well. They shoot a few scenes around Jihoon’s apartment, and Daeyoung manages to act normal around Sion, or at least he hopes so. He nods at his instructions and even asks him questions when he’s not sure about how to go about a certain scene. 

He does refuse to meet Sion’s eyes, but that was to be expected. Though he supposes they should maybe talk about yesterday, he intends to push that conversation back as long as he can. He just doesn’t see what he would get from it, apart from more confusion and embarrassment. 

Sion, on his part, looks completely unaffected. He’s as professional as ever, and he looks at Daeyoung with disinterest, his eyes totally devoid of the intensity from yesterday, in the alley. Daeyoung briefly wonders if he might have hallucinated the whole thing, if the alcohol just played tricks on his mind, but he doesn’t think he was drunk enough to fantasize a whole make out session with his director. 

Besides, Daeyoung has other things on his plate. Sion hasn’t mentioned Scene 14 yet, but Daeyoung feels it looming over his head, threatening to slap him in the face at any moment. They only have this set, Jihoon’s apartment, until tomorrow. They have to film the kissing scene again, and probably soon. Daeyoung just doesn’t know when, exactly. Not filming the scene is almost as nerve racking as filming it, in a way, because Daeyoung feels like he’s just anxiously waiting for it all the time.

During break, Daeyoung gets a lunch box from the buffet and starts heading to a table in the corner, but Yushi calls him over. Daeyoung walks towards him and almost trips over his own feet when he notices Sion’s sitting with him. He hesitates for a second, but Yushi tilts his head at him in question and Daeyoung sighs. Too late to turn back.

He sits down with them and eyes Sion nervously, but Sion’s focused on his food, not sparing him a glance. Maybe Daeyoung did dream all of it.

“What are you eating?” Yushi asks.

“I just got a box from over there.” Daeyoung points at the buffet. Yushi leans in to look at the contents of the box, resting his hand on Daeyoung’s thigh. 

Daeyoung’s slightly taken aback at the sudden proximity, but he finds he doesn’t really mind it. Though it’s only been two days of filming, he’s really grown comfortable with Yushi —confessing his love, hugging him, and holding his hand all day probably helped.

“Just eat your food, Yushi. Don’t steal Daeyoung’s,” Sion says out of nowhere, and both Yushi and Daeyoung look at him, surprised. Daeyoung didn’t even think Sion was listening to their conversation. 

Yushi scrunches his nose at Sion but he leans back in his seat and withdraws his hand from Daeyoung’s leg. Sion glances at Daeyoung briefly before moving his gaze back to his food, and Daeyoung feels himself blush, even though Sion barely looked at him for a second. He can’t help remembering the way Sion looked at him in the darkness of the alley, the orange light of his cigarette casting shadows on his face, the feeling of his lips against— 

“Did you and Director Oh know each other before this, hyung?” Daeyoung asks, shaking off his impure thoughts. He’s at work, for God’s sake, it’s indecent.

Yushi hums. “I was an exchange student at Sion hyung’s school, a few years ago. I even acted in one of his short films.”

“Really? I wish I could’ve seen that,” Daeyoung says with a laugh. Yushi wasn’t in any of Sion’s works he’d found online. He wonders what they looked like when they were in college. It wasn’t that long ago, but they’d probably changed since then. God knows Daeyoung’s not the same person he was in college, and he only graduated two years ago.

“Are you curious?” Yushi asks with a wide grin.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“It’s okay. You can see me act from up close now,” Yushi says. He taps his finger over his pursed lips suggestively.

Daeyoung blushes at the implication and casts a sideways glance at Sion, but he doesn’t look up from his food. It’s impressive how uninterested he can be in what’s happening around him. 

“Right,” Daeyoung says with an awkward laugh. He’s still not used to how comfortable Yushi seems to be with all of it —kissing and touching each other— even though he knows Yushi has acted in at least a dozen BLs before. He probably doesn’t think anything of kissing another guy. Daeyoung wishes he could be this unbothered. Maybe he will be, by the end of shooting. 

“When are we shooting Scene 14, hyung?” Yushi asks. He’s talking to Sion but Daeyoung knows he’s teasing him, and it’s working. He blushes even harder, if that’s possible, and shoves Yushi’s shoulder shyly.   

“Tomorrow,” Sion answers curtly.

Yushi hums with a smile and Daeyoung stares at his lunch box. Tomorrow. He has until tomorrow to mentally prepare himself. He spends the rest of break stealing glances at Sion and trying to ignore the way his mouth closes around every bite of food he takes. 

──────────────────────

“Director Oh?”

Sion looks up from his laptop at the sound of Daeyoung’s voice. Daeyoung is standing at the door, frozen in place like he’s forgotten what he was supposed to do. He hadn’t expected to find anyone in the break room, much less Sion. It’s well past 10 PM and shooting ended around two hours ago. Everyone has long gone home, and Daeyoung had done the same until he’d realized halfway that he’d forgotten his script on set.

Sion’s sitting by the dressing tables, wearing the usual glasses that cover half his face. His hair is pushed back by a headband and Daeyoung can’t help staring at his exposed forehead. 

“What are you doing here?” Sion asks, making Daeyoung snap out of it. He walks in the room and heads for the dressing table, where he left his script after reading it over when he was taking off his make-up earlier.

“Forgot this,” he answers, waving the script for Sion to see. “Sorry, I didn’t think anyone was here.”

“It’s okay,” Sion says, moving his eyes back to his laptop screen.

Daeyoung can’t help but glance at it. “What are you doing?”

“Just looking over the raws from today.”

“Are they… Um, you know— any good?” 

Sion looks up. Daeyoung averts his eyes and fidgets with the script in his hands, bending it in half one way then another.

“Daeyoung,” Sion says, pulling Daeyoung’s eyes back to him. “Do you think you’re a bad actor?”

Daeyoung swallows. “No,” he says. Then, “Yes. I don’t know.” Sion keeps looking at him without a word, encouraging him to keep going. “I mean, there must be a reason why my career still hasn’t taken off, right?”

Sion regards him for a moment and Daeyoung feels himself falter under his stare. He already regrets saying this, showing Sion how little confidence he has in himself, when he’s playing the role of the main character in his drama, but there’s something about Sion’s eyes that just makes the truth tumble out of his mouth before he can stop it.

Sion turns in his chair to face Daeyoung, pushing his laptop aside. “Do you know why I wanted you to play Jihoon?”

“Honestly, no,” Daeyoung answers.

“It’s true I didn’t notice you for your skills at first,” Sion says, and Daeyoung can’t hide his disappointment. He lowers his eyes and stares at the script in his hands, all worn down from all the fidgeting he’s doing. “You’re exactly how I pictured Jihoon, physically. When I first saw you in The Sunshine of My Life, I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was like you’d jumped straight out of my head. You were handsome in all the right ways, you had that naive but determined look about you, the kindness I was looking for in your eyes.”

Daeyoung feels his face grow warm at Sion’s praise. No one’s ever told him anything like that before, and it does make him feel slightly happy deep down.

“But I wouldn’t have cast you just because of that,” Sion continues. “I saw potential in your acting. And I read that interview you did.”

Daeyoung looks up, surprised. Since he played a side character, he’d only given one interview, a joint one with the rest of the cast, that had been published in some underground magazine. He’d barely participated in it —most of the interviewer’s questions had been for the lead actors, and he’d only answered one question, asking how he felt about having his debut role. 

He doesn’t even remember what he said. Probably that he was delighted, that he wanted to make the most of it, that he felt hopeful for more opportunities in the future. 

“You said you treated all of your roles as the main character. That you gave them a story even if the writers hadn’t written them one. I liked that,” Sion adds. He says it simply, without any emotion, and Daeyoung knows that Sion isn’t lying to him.

“Oh,” he blurts out, suddenly feeling shy. He’s spent the past two days questioning why Sion chose him specifically, but now that he’s heard the reason, he’s not sure how to feel. “Thank you.”

Sion hums and turns back to his screen, seemingly done with the conversation. Daeyoung shuffles on his feet awkwardly, twisting his script in his hands. He should go now. That’s his cue to leave. But…

“Is there anything wrong?” Sion asks without looking up.

“Actually, I’m worried about the— the kissing scene. Tomorrow.”

“Still?”

“Yes,” Daeyoung says. “Do you think you could… help me practice?”

He’s not sure when the idea popped in his head. It might have been five minutes ago, when he saw Sion’s eyes flicker to his lips as he talked, or it might have been yesterday, after Sion kissed him silly in that alley. Anyway, it’s impossible to deny that their kiss is all Daeyoung’s been able to think about the whole day.

Sion looks at him and Daeyoung flushes. “Sorry, I don’t know why I said that. It’s just, since you… Anyways, I’ll leave you alone now, have a—”

“No, I’ll help you,” Sion interrupts him.

“You will?” Daeyoung squeaks.

Sion stands up and crosses the short distance between them until he’s trapped Daeyoung against the dresser. Daeyoung’s eyes dart over Sion’s face, looking for any sign that he might be joking, but he doesn’t find any. Sion’s eyes flicker between his eyes and his lips and Daeyoung thinks he might have forgotten how to breathe properly.

“Sure. After all, if you mess up, it’s my work that you put in jeopardy.”

“Right,” Daeyoung breathes out shakily.

“Have you kissed anyone before?” Sion asks. Unsaid, apart from me.

“Yeah. No,” he corrects himself when he realizes Sion’s probably not talking about little pecks from middle school.

“Okay. Let’s start slow.” Sion places his palm over Daeyoung’s cheek, the same way he did the day before, and Daeyoung’s heart stutters in anticipation. The images blur together in front of him, the Sion from yesterday night, all dark eyes and cigarette smoke, and this Sion, with a plastic headband in his hair and freckles across his cheeks. “Close your eyes.”

Daeyoung obeys and shuts his eyes tightly, waiting. He’s so nervous he feels like he’s going to throw up, but he also can’t ignore the excitement he feels, the eagerness. 

When Sion brushes his lips against his, Daeyoung feels something unfurl in his stomach, something he hadn’t even been aware resided inside of him. He wonders how he’s been able to live without Sion’s lips against his all this time.

Sion pulls away from him just enough to say, “Relax your jaw.”

Daeyoung forces himself to unclench his teeth —he hadn’t even realized how tense he was— and lets out a content sigh when he feels Sion slide his tongue over his lips, slowly. 

“Now open your mouth,” Sion murmurs against his lips.

Daeyoung doesn’t have to be told twice —he parts his lips and makes a noise in his throat when he feels the familiar weight of Sion’s tongue against his. Sion tilts his head to get better access to the inside of Daeyoung’s mouth, and Daeyoung lets him. A part of him thinks he’d let Sion do anything to him right now.

“Put your hands around my waist,” Sion says in his mouth.

Daeyoung’s hands fly to Sion’s hips. He slips his fingers under Sion’s shirt and presses them against his skin, which pulls a noise out of Sion. Daeyoung’s head spins at the sound, at the vibrations it sends inside his mouth. He grazes his fingers up and down Sion’s waist, yearning for more, for Sion to praise him, to keep touching him. “Like that?”

Sion hums, sending another wave of vibrations down Daeyoung’s throat that he swallows hungrily. He tries pushing his tongue past Sion’s lips, eager to explore his mouth too, but Sion pulls at his hair and Daeyoung’s head knocks against the mirror behind him. He whines, more from disappointment than pain, and Sion smoothes his fingers against the back of his head.

“Slow down, puppy.”

Daeyoung’s heart jumps at the pet name, unexpected but weirdly effective. He allows Sion to join their lips in another kiss, obediently letting him lick inside his mouth and bite his lips as much as he wants. Instead, he trails his hands all over Sion’s back, and Sion shudders in his arms.

Sion’s not afraid to let out noise as he kisses Daeyoung, be it the squelchy sounds he makes as he sucks on Daeyoung’s lips or the moans that rise from his throat when Daeyoung’s fingers brush his skin just right around his waist, and all of it is driving Daeyoung crazy. The noises Sion makes are shameless, borderline obscene, and he can’t get enough of it.

After a while, Sion pulls away from him, looking satisfied. “Okay, now, your turn. Copy what I did.”

Sion’s barely done speaking before Daeyoung crashes their lips together again. His hand flies briefly from Sion’s waist to his face, taking the glasses, which had been bothering him from the start, off his nose and discarding them on the table behind him. Then, his hands travel down from Sion’s hips to his belt, where he hooks his fingers in the loops to pull him closer. When Sion’s hips rock against his, Daeyoung moans contentedly and sucks on Sion’s tongue hungrily. 

Sion wraps his arms around Daeyoung’s neck and pushes him further into the dresser like he’s trying to merge their bodies together. 

“Can you say it again?” Daeyoung asks as he catches Sion’s plump lower lip between his teeth and pulls.

“What?” Sion pants.

“The thing you called me before.”

Sion smiles against his lips. “Puppy?” Daeyoung immediately reacts to the pet name, moaning in Sion’s mouth. “Only if you stop calling me Director Oh,” Sion says.

Daeyoung whimpers but he doesn’t say anything. Though he can barely think straight, with Sion’s hands running through his hair, his lips moving against his, and the indecent sounds he’s making in his ears, he's still —somewhat— in control of himself, and he still feels too shy to drop the honorifics with Sion.

When Daeyoung doesn’t answer, Sion’s mouth leaves his and Daeyoung whines, but then he feels Sion licking a stripe down the length of his neck and he raises his chin, giving him more access. When Sion’s tongue slides over a particularly sensitive spot, another noise escapes his throat and Sion stops there. He plants his teeth in Daeyoung’s skin and starts sucking on it like he’s trying to draw blood. It hurts, but in a strange, pleasant way, and Daeyoung only sinks his nails deeper in Sion’s waist until he’s done marking him. 

Sion drags his tongue over the bruise and lifts his head to nip at Daeyoung’s ear with his teeth. When he sucks on the lobe, taking all of it inside his mouth, Daeyoung cries, “Hyung—”

It’s barely anything more than a breath, but it’s enough. Sion lets go of Daeyoung’s ear and brings his mouth back to Daeyoung’s. “Good job, puppy.”

Daeyoung starts kissing him again, but Sion suddenly pulls away, taking a step back. Daeyoung feels the absence of his body just as much, if not more, as its presence in his arms. He wants to reach out and pull Sion back to him, but he stops himself. He pants, trying to catch his breath, and stares at Sion, unable to look away.

Sion runs his hand through Daeyoung’s hair, trying to undo the mess he just made. The touch is so gentle, so kind, that Daeyoung almost gets whiplash. It’s completely different from the intensity with which Sion just kissed him, but he finds he enjoys it just as much. 

“I think you’re ready for tomorrow,” Sion tells him with a smile.

“Did I do well?” Daeyoung asks. He wants Sion to praise him, to tell him how good he was, how much he liked it. But he also wants Sion to tell him that no, he didn’t do well, so that they can do it again and again until they’ve memorized the inside of each other’s mouths, until their lips fit perfectly together like two pieces of a puzzle.

“Very,” Sion says. His hand falls from Daeyoung’s hair and he brushes his fingers over the bruise he gave him on his neck, blooming purple across his skin. “You should hide that.”

“Okay.” Daeyoung’s not sure what he just agreed to. He hasn’t stopped staring at Sion’s lips.

Sion walks back to the table behind him and packs his laptop. He grabs his glasses from behind Daeyoung and pushes them up his nose. He looks himself over in the mirror quickly, pulling his shirt down and fixing his hair, before flashing one last smile at Daeyoung and leaving him all alone in the break room.

When Daeyoung’s heartbeat has slowed down and his breathing has calmed, he turns around and looks at his reflection. His eyes land on the hickey on his neck. It’s a dark purple hue and actually a lot smaller in size than it felt like when Sion was giving it to him. He can’t take his eyes off it. He puts his fingers over it and presses, attempting to bring back the feeling of Sion’s lips on his skin, but it only leaves a dull pain behind.

──────────────────────

The next day, Daeyoung comes on set with dark circles under his eyes. For some mysterious reason, he had trouble falling asleep, and then it was a fitful sleep, not exactly a restful one. He woke up at the crack of dawn and spent the better part of the morning tapping leftover concealer from his last shooting over the hickey on his neck. He knows the make-up artists will cake his face in foundation again as soon as he gets on set, but he’d rather not have them see the bruise on his skin either. It’s faded from the dark, angry purple to a more discreet shade of yellow, but he still wouldn’t be able to account for its presence without telling the truth if people asked. 

In the waiting room, he reads his lines over again, even though he couldn’t know them any better if he tried. He needs to give his mind something to focus on. 

He flips the page of his script and stares at the words. Scene 14. He doesn’t feel as distraught about it as before, but the idea of shooting the scene still makes him nervous. It’s one thing kissing someone in private and another doing it in front of half a dozen cameras and fifty pairs of eyes.

Moreover, it wouldn’t be the same someone.

Across the room, the door opens and Yushi enters. He’s dressed and both his make-up and his hair are done, meaning they'll start filming anytime soon now. Yushi smiles at Daeyoung as he approaches and plops down in the chair next to him. 

“Hi, Daeyoung,” he says in his quiet voice. “Are you ready for today?”

“I think so.” 

“Are you sure? We’re filming Scene 14 later, you know.”

“I know.” Daeyoung fidgets with his hands in his lap. He did ask Sion to help him “practice” for the scene, but he’s not sure the kiss from yesterday really helped him at all. 

“Maybe we should practice beforehand so that it doesn’t end up like last time,” Yushi says. He leans in close and bats his eyelashes while Daeyoung gently pushes him away, laughing. 

“Don’t joke,” he says.

“I’m not joking.”

Daeyoung casts a glance at Yushi, who looks more serious now. He has his hand on the arm of Daeyoung’s chair and he’s hooked his foot around its leg. His eyes flicker briefly to the spot on Daeyoung’s neck covered in twice the usual amount of concealer, and Daeyoung instinctively puts his hand over it. He doesn’t think the hickey is visible, but with the way Yushi’s eyes bore into his skin, he’s not sure.

“But maybe you’ve practiced already,” Yushi adds, leaning back in his chair, and Daeyoung breathes shakily. 

“What?” he blurts out.

Then, the door opens behind them and Daeyoung jumps in his seat. It’s a staff member, telling them to get ready to start filming. Daeyoung stands up hastily and steps away from Yushi.

“We should go,” he tells him, trying not to sound embarrassed and failing spectacularly at it. 

“Let’s go, then,” Yushi agrees. 

Daeyoung lets Yushi walk in front of him and steals one last glance at his reflection in the mirror. He cranes his neck, checking for anything amiss, but the bruise under his jaw is completely invisible, hidden under multiple layers of make-up. He shakes his head and steps after Yushi. Maybe it was in his head. 

──────────────────────

They finally get around to Scene 14 late in the afternoon. According to Sion, it’s the last scene they’ll shoot today, and also the last scene they’ll shoot in this set. From tomorrow, they’ll be moving to an outdoor set, then they’ll film the scenes taking place at school. Daeyoung feels himself relax prematurely —he just has to get this scene over with, and then he’ll be able to take it easy. All of the outdoor scenes are pretty tame, which means he’ll still have to hug Yushi and hold his hand, but he won’t have to kiss him anymore. He’ll finally be able to come to work without the knot in his stomach. 

But, well, he still has to do it, and he has to do it right now. As he sits down on the couch next to Yushi, he thinks back of the first day of shooting two days ago, when they first attempted filming the scene and Daeyoung fucked it all up. It seems like forever ago —Daeyoung might as well have lived a thousand lifetimes since then. 

“Are you okay?” Yushi asks from next to him, and Daeyoung notices his knee is bouncing up and down. He wills it to stop and smiles at Yushi.

“Yushi, Daeyoung.”

Daeyoung looks up and almost gulps when his eyes meet Sion’s. It’s been hard staying focused all day, when all he could think about every time Sion gave them instructions was how different his voice sounded from when he was moaning in Daeyoung’s mouth —higher, more airy, while his everyday voice is low and composed. 

“Go at your own pace, okay? We have a little over an hour left, so we can redo the scene as many times as necessary,” Sion says after glancing at his watch. 

Yushi hums casually and Daeyoung nods. “Okay.”

“You can do whatever you want but I want you to take the lead, Daeyoung,” Sion adds.

Daeyoung feels his face flush unwillingly. He knows Sion’s just guiding him on how to do the scene, but he can’t help the heat that pools in his stomach at the words. 

Sion leaves without another glance at Daeyoung, and after a few minutes, filming starts. The set goes so silent that Daeyoung can hear himself swallow.

“Action!”

Daeyoung takes a deep breath. He has to get it right this time. 

Yushi instantly switches from his own impassive, relaxed persona to his character, Haru, the sweet, lovesick boy. He looks at Daeyoung through his eyelashes and parts his lips expectantly.

Daeyoung mechanically puts his hand over Yushi’s cheek, cupping his face, and slowly leans in. When their lips meet, he faintly registers the way Yushi’s lips already feel more familiar against his, how his heart isn’t beating as fast in his chest as two days ago. He kisses Yushi and thinks back on Riku's advice.

Just imagine you’re kissing a girl.

Daeyoung moves his mouth against Yushi’s, picturing a pretty girl in his arms, but he frowns. It doesn’t feel right. Now that he really thinks about it, kissing Yushi doesn’t feel like kissing a girl at all —his skin is rougher, his lips thinner, and when Daeyoung threads his fingers through Yushi’s hair, he only finds short locks. 

No, kissing Yushi doesn’t feel like kissing a girl, in fact, it feels more like—

Daeyoung freezes. Yushi makes a quiet noise, silently asking why Daeyoung’s stopped, but the sound only reminds Daeyoung even more of another boy. Not of one of the few girls Daeyoung’s kissed in his life, not even of the fictional girl he’d been picturing in his head moments ago, but of the boy he kissed yesterday, standing only a few feet away. 

He tries imagining the face Sion must be making right now, looking over the scene, and wonders what Sion’s thinking about as Daeyoung kisses Yushi. Probably nothing much —Sion’s a lot more professional than Daeyoung in these matters, it seems— but Daeyoung wants to make him proud, to show him how good he can be. 

He parts Yushi’s lips with his tongue and shoves it inside his mouth. He pulls Yushi’s hair, gently, and his other hand comes up to grip the fabric of his shirt, near the shoulder. Yushi lets him do all of it and even opens his mouth wider for him. 

As Daeyoung kisses Yushi, he thinks of how similar yet different it is from kissing Sion. Both their mouths are pretty small, both their tongues are warm, but Daeyoung can only think of Sion. He wishes it was Sion he was kissing, he wishes he could hear his voice, the moans and whimpers he’d make against his lips. When Yushi puts his palms over his chest, Daeyoung makes a low noise in his throat as he imagines Sion touching him like that. 

“Cut.”

Daeyoung pulls away and sees Yushi staring at him with wide eyes. He averts his gaze, the embarrassment of what he just did catching up to him. Yushi must think he’s some sort of pervert, going from barely being able to peck him on the lips to hungrily making out with him in the span of two days. 

He looks over to Sion and bites his lower lip nervously. He’s not sure what to make of the look in Sion’s eyes —it’s as composed as ever, but something flickers in it, calculation, deliberation, interrogation. It’s hard to tell. 

“Let’s go over again,” he calls.

──────────────────────

In the end, they shoot the scene six times. Daeyoung does his best every time, but he does tone it down a bit from the first take. He tries pushing Sion’s face to the back of his mind, so that he doesn’t lose control again.

By the time they’re done, Daeyoung’s lips are bruised and sore. Yushi accidentally bit down on his lip at some point, tearing skin painfully, but he can barely feel it. After kissing Yushi for one hour straight, his mouth is almost numb. 

As staff members start packing up the set, Daeyoung’s manager comes up to him, looking apologetic. He has his phone in his hand and his jacket over his shoulders, looking ready to leave.

“I can’t drive you back today, I need to meet the CEO,” he tells Daeyoung.

“That’s okay, I’ll just call a cab or something,” Daeyoung answers. He pats Junho on the shoulder. After a few minutes of reassuring that he’ll be fine, that he’s a grown man who has, in fact, used Kakao Taxi before in his life, Junho leaves with one last glance over his shoulder.

Daeyoung waves at him with a smile. He turns around, mentally making a list of everything he needs to get done before leaving, taking off his make-up, changing his clothes, finding his phone and script, and almost jumps out of his skin when he finds Sion standing right in front of him. He lets out the first half of a curse before amending his words when Sion raises an eyebrow at him. 

“Do you need anything, Director Oh?” he asks, attempting to smile like Sion didn’t just scare the shit out of him.

Sion regards him in silence for a moment and Daeyoung shuffles awkwardly. 

“I can drive you home.”

Daeyoung immediately waves his hands in front of him. “Oh, no, you really don’t have to—”

“Meet me in the parking lot,” Sion interrupts him. He turns on his heels and leaves Daeyoung standing in the middle of the set, gaping. 

Fifteen minutes later —he rushed through all of his routine to get unready, anxious at the idea of Sion waiting for him too long— Daeyoung’s sitting in Sion’s car. They’ve been driving in silence for a bit now, and Daeyoung thinks this is the most awkward car ride he’s ever been on. He wishes they could listen to music, or the radio at least, but Sion hasn’t offered and Daeyoung would rather die than ask anything right now.

They drive all the way to Daeyoung’s house without speaking a word except for when Sion asked for his address and Daeyoung gave it to him (he actually managed to get the street name wrong because of stress and had to work up the courage to tell Sion to change it for five minutes). Thankfully, it’s a short drive, only twenty minutes or so, but it feels like twenty hours to Daeyoung, who spends the whole time staring straight ahead, afraid to look at Sion.

When they reach Daeyoung’s apartment complex, Sion parks a little down the street. Daeyoung unfastens his seatbelt and quickly thanks Sion, eager to get out of the car. He reaches for the door handle but Sion grabs his arm. Daeyoung turns to look at him, waiting, but Sion doesn’t say anything.

“Director Oh?” 

“I told you not to call me that,” Sion says.

Daeyoung smiles awkwardly. “What should I call you?”

“What you called me yesterday.”

Daeyoung blushes instantly. “I— That was—”

“What?” Sion lets go of Daeyoung’s arm to brush his hand against Daeyoung’s face. He pushes a strand of hair away from his eyes and runs his fingers down his cheek. “You call Yushi ‘hyung’. Why’s it so hard with me?”

Daeyoung stares, pupils shaking, at Sion’s hand by his face. “Because you’re the director,” he stammers.

“That didn’t seem to bother you when we were kissing yesterday.” Sion presses his palm against Daeyoung’s cheek, cupping his face. He rubs his thumb against his skin, coming dangerously close to his mouth.

“We were practicing,” Daeyoung says, but the words sound empty, meaningless.

“And I think you need more practice,” Sion whispers before leaning in and kissing Daeyoung. 

Instinctively, Daeyoung shuts his eyes. He doesn’t know how it came to this, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been waiting for it the whole day. He savors the taste of Sion’s lips, the warmth of his breath, the wetness of the inside of his mouth, and he leans in, trying to get closer to Sion. He bumps into the handbrake between them, but he doesn’t let it stop him. He puts a hand on Sion’s thigh and squeezes, which pulls a moan out of Sion.

“How did it feel when you were kissing Yushi?” Sion asks as he sucks Daeyoung’s lower lip inside his mouth. Daeyoung whines and shifts closer, hands roaming all over Sion’s body, his thighs, his waist, his chest, but Sion continues. “Did you like it?”

“No,” Daeyoung lies. He hadn’t exactly disliked kissing Yushi, but there’s no way he’s going to say that to Sion.

“You looked like you did,” Sion whispers, not fooled. He bites harder on Daeyoung’s lip, as if trying to punish him, and it hurts, but Daeyoung doesn’t pull away. He doesn’t want to let Sion win this, doesn’t want to make him think he can’t handle it.

“I was just doing my job,” Daeyoung says when Sion finally lets go of his lip. The words come out all mushed together in his hurry to get them out and kiss Sion again. He doesn’t want to talk right now, he wants to lick inside Sion’s mouth. 

Sion pulls at his hair so hard that tears spring at the corners of his eyes. He angles Daeyoung’s head to the side and presses his thumb against Daeyoung’s throat, where the hickey he gave him yesterday is still hidden behind concealer. Daeyoung doesn’t know how Sion found the spot so easily, but he feels him scratch and rub his skin until the bruise shows itself.

Daeyoung watches as Sion’s eyes bore into it, as he licks his lips. Sion presses on the bruise harder and Daeyoung winces in pain, but he lets him. 

Sion’s eyes flicker back to his face. “Do you want another one?”

Daeyoung nods immediately, desperate to have Sion’s mouth on his neck again. Sion leans in, nudges his head in the crook of Daeyoung’s neck. His hair tickles Daeyoung’s skin and Daeyoung inhales the scent of Sion’s shampoo. Sion brushes his lips against his collarbone and slowly lifts his mouth to the hickey on his neck, which is already fading. He drags his tongue over it, making Daeyoung shiver. Just when Daeyoung thinks he’ll start biting, sucking, anything, Sion pulls away.

“I can’t,” he says. “You’re filming in a school uniform tomorrow.”

Daeyoung stares at him in disbelief. He can still feel the ghost of Sion’s lips against his skin, lips that are now stretched in a smirk that makes Daeyoung’s stomach flip. He can see that Sion’s pleased with himself, that he’s happy to make him squirm, so he grabs Sion’s chin and pushes it to the side.

“I’ll give you one,” he says before kissing his neck.

Sion inhales sharply and pushes Daeyoung’s shoulders, but Daeyoung doesn’t intend to relent. He kisses down the length of Sion’s neck, the spot where his Adam’s apple bobbles up and down, his collarbone. He licks and bites his skin all over, indecisive. If he could, he’d leave bruises all over his neck, but a distant part of his mind reminds him that he probably shouldn’t, that Sion also has to go to work tomorrow —that he has to go to the same set Daeyoung will be at. At the thought of seeing Sion trying to hide his hickey tomorrow, maybe with a high-collared shirt, maybe with some concealer like Daeyoung did today, when he imagines someone asking about the strange shadow on his neck and Sion blushing, sputtering a lie, Daeyoung’s heart speeds up. 

He settles on a spot between Sion’s collarbone and the base of his throat and bites down on the skin. His teeth leave a crescent moon shape that Daeyoung licks with his tongue. Sion’s hands have left his shoulders and are now crumpled in his hair while he breathes heavily in Daeyoung’s ear. When Daeyoung sucks on his skin harder, Sion moans.

“Daeyoung,” he breathes out. 

Daeyoung pulls away and stares at his work, the purple bruise he’s left on Sion’s skin, at least double the size of the one Sion gave him yesterday. Sion looks down and he gasps when he sees it. He wipes off the remnants of Daeyoung’s saliva and grimaces when his fingers come in contact with the bruise. 

“Get out of my car.” He pushes Daeyoung away from him and Daeyoung laughs, unmoving. 

“You should hide that,” he jokes. Sion slaps his arm, which only makes Daeyoung laugh even harder. “I have some concealer in my apartment if you need, hyung.”

“What?” Sion’s head snaps up.

“I said I have—”

“No,” Sion interrupts him. “What’d you call me?”

“What’d I—” Daeyoung flushes. He hadn’t even realized the word that had slipped out of him. “Hyung,” he repeats, tentatively.

Sion grins. He leans in and kisses Daeyoung on the mouth, slower, softer than before. Daeyoung takes it without complaining. He lets Sion drag his tongue inside his mouth, swallowing both their salivas, and tilts his head to help him gain further access. He pulls away with a squelchy noise, just a bit, only to dive back into the kiss, over and over.

“You’ve gotten a lot better, puppy,” Sion says between two kisses.

“I’m a fast learner,” Daeyoung murmurs. 

He pecks Sion’s lips lazily, once, twice, and then Sion turns his head to the side. When Daeyoung’s lips meet his cheek, Sion laughs and pushes his shoulder.

“Go now. It’s late,” he says.

Daeyoung pouts but he nods and gets out of the car after leaving one last kiss on Sion’s lips. Before he closes the door, he bends down and looks at Sion. “Can I— Can I call you sometime?”

Sion smiles at him. “Depending on how you behave.”

Before Daeyoung can process it, he’s closed the door of the car and Sion’s gone. He bites down on a smile and turns on his heels, heading inside his building.

──────────────────────

Later that night, Daeyoung’s phone buzzes with a text. Daeyoung opens it, already knowing who it’s from.

[Unknown 11:47 PM]

Hi, puppy