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Neil and Todd are asleep in their dorm.
They're in Neil's bed, as Todd wanted to comfort himself after having a nightmare. Neil doesn't mind, and he even encourages him to seek the comfort that Todd desperately wants and needs.
Todd slowly shifts, slowly waking up with a soft yawn. As he opens his eyes, he notices that Neil is holding him, hands on his lower back.
The hold gets too comfortable for Todd, and he ends up falling back asleep, burying his face into his boyfriend's shoulder with a sleepy smile on his face.
It's been around 4 months since they have established their relationship.
The other poets were very supportive of them, and told the two that they'll always be there for them. No matter what.
Todd still gets anxious from time to time if someone dangerous were to find out about their relationship, and end up doing something horrendous. However, Neil would always have the right words to reassure him that nothing would ever happen.
That relieves Todd. Every time.
Todd wakes up again roughly 30 minutes later. It's surprisingly very early and looks over to Neil, who's still asleep. He smiles softly to himself, planting a soft kiss to his cheek before burying himself more in the ridiculously small bed.
As he looks at Neil, he often wonders how he has gotten such a sweet and caring boyfriend. He is and will always be forever grateful.
Slowly, Todd looks over at their clock, which shows the time of 2:20. He sighs to himself softly, about to go back to sleep.. but he suddenly has an unsettling feeling, not knowing why.
Todd has a feeling that this day is... special. Important.
He looks over at the calendar, wondering what today was, before immediately realizing—
It's Valentines Day.
Todd's blue eyes widen a bit from panic as he still has absolutely nothing planned for Neil for their very first Valentine's Day together. He really thought that he had another week to plan things out before this special day came.
He could've sworn that it wasn't today, but as it all settles in..
Fuck.
Fuck.
He quickly, but still carefully gets out of Neil's bed, now wide awake.
Todd slowly takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He tries to tell himself that it's not the end of the world, but he feels like such a bad boyfriend for forgetting.
All of the schoolwork he was given has kicked his ass this entire week, so much that he couldn't even remember what the days were. He's been exhausted.
He opens his eyes and looks back to Neil, whos still in his deep slumber. He wonders if he should wake him, but what would he say to him?
Hey, Neil. Sorry I forgot about Valentines Day.
Neil, I'm a horrible boyfriend and didn't plan anything.
Hey, Neil—
Todd miserably groans to himself, and slowly paces around their dorm. He starts unconsciously biting at his nails, an unhealthy habit he grew into when he was younger. He has gotten better at managing it, but he still has his moments.
He notices what he's doing a second later, and quickly moves his hand away. He uses said hand for his hair, pushing it out of his face, still lost in thought.
As he thinks, he ends up having an amazing idea.
..Or so he thought.
He quickly leaves his dorm as quiet as possible to find the public payphone located down the hallway. He pulls out a dime and inserts it into the slot, slowly pressing the numbers.
As he waits for the caller to answer, his eyes dart around, making sure that there aren't any faculty members around.
He knows he shouldn't be out here, especially around this time, but this may be his one and only chance to figure out any plans to make for Neil.
He waits and waits, slowly becoming impatient. He's about to put the phone down, until finally—
"Hello?" His brothers' voice is full of annoyance, and Todd hears a yawn from the other side of the call.
He has all the words he needs to tell Jeffrey, but he still stammers over his words. Every time.
He opens his mouth to speak, but his voice slightly cracks.
Todd quickly shakes himself out of it and clears his throat.
"Uh–Hey, Jeff." He answers, stammering nervously. They're both so different from each other, so it's always been difficult for him to talk with his brother.
"Oh, Todd! Hey. Why'd you—" Another yawn. "Why'd you call me so early? It's 2 in the morning!"
Todd takes a huge, deep breath, knowing he has to lie to Jeffrey. He can't find out. He just can't.
"I know, I'm—I'm sorry, but I uh–I was just wondering about, y'know.. about today," murmuring the last part to himself. "There is this person–girl—that I've been seeing for a while now, and I was wondering if you'd know what to do. I um—I forgot Valentines Day was today." He feels embarrassed for even admitting.
The call is silent for a moment.
"Wow, you have a girlfriend now? Todd, that's awesome!" Jeffrey slightly shouts from excitement, proud of him. He slightly cringes from his brothers reaction to the lie. "Give her flowers. Lots of 'em. Chocolates, too. Girls love those types of things!"
As Jeffrey continues to give him plans and recommendations, Todd slowly regrets even calling. He can't even be honest with his own brother because he's unsure if he would be a safe person to talk to.
He reminds himself of whenever he'd even mention gay people around Jeffrey, he seemed to have little to no care. Just a slight shrug.
Their parents, however, were and have always been a different story. They've always given Todd this look, their faces full of disgust.
Hatred.
As Todd's thoughts about his family start to become overbearing, he knew he had to end this call right away. It was becoming too much, and he was starting to get sick of lying.
"Okay, Jeff. Thank you!" He says, trying to cover up the discomfort that's slowly starting to show in his voice. "I'll talk to you later. Bye!"
"Todd, wait! You didn't even tell me her na—"
Todd abruptly ends the call, and takes a huge breath, relieved but even more stressed than before.
Well, that didn't work.
He starts to wander around the halls, lost in thought. He's aware that he should go back to his dorm before someone ends up catching him, but laying around wouldn't do anything to ease him or his thoughts.
He chews on his lower lip, trying to think of something. Anything, really.
He jolts as he hears a loud noise behind him, and he quickly turns around. His shoulders immediately slump with relief as it's a familiar boy, a friend.
Steven Meeks.
Meeks' voice is full of sleep, mixed with confusion. "Todd? Todd, is that you?" He looks completely exhausted, hair disheveled, no glasses on.
Todd takes a quick breath and whispers, "Uh—yeah. Yeah, it's—it's me."
Meeks gives him a nod, cautiously looking around the halls, making sure that there isn't anyone around.
When the coast is clear, Meeks looks back at his friend, and slowly starts to speak very quietly, "Why are you out here? You should–" he yawns softly. "You should be in your dorm."
Todd sighs, embarrassed. "I know. It's stupid, really. I'm just—overthinking again." He rubs his arm. He doesn't want anyone to know how he feels, because to him, it just feels pointless to talk about.
Meeks slowly tilts his head, curiously. "Oh? Well, what's been going on in that head of yours?" He pushes him, just a bit.
"Well, I–uh—" Todd begins awkwardly. "It's just–It's just that I–" He hates stuttering in front of people, more embarassment flooding in his body.
Meeks patiently waits, aware that Todd needs a moment to pull himself together. He's relieved that Meeks doesn't push him any further than he already is.
Todd takes a huge breath, murmuring with guilt present in his voice, defeated. "I forgot Valentines Day was today."
Meeks nods, "Did you not plan anything?"
Todd nods quickly, feeling miserable. "I feel like a horrible boyfriend. I'm worried Neil's gonna be hurt and disappointed in me and–" he runs his hand down his face, "He's the last person I'd ever want to disappoint."
Everything falls silent, and he slowly looks away from Meeks. He slowly feels a gentle hand rest on his shoulder, and looks back to his friend.
"Todd," He begins. "Neil would never be disappointed in you. I don't think he's even capable of doing that, especially when it comes to you."
He's quiet for a moment before softly reassuring, "And you're not a bad boyfriend. If you were, you wouldn't care so much about this. You wouldn't care how this would affect him or not."
Todd slowly nods, still trying to calm himself down. "Yeah," He mutters. "Yeah. I think—I think you're right, but.. what if he feels hurt?"
Meeks slowly nods. "I'm sure he'll understand. He's always loved you, and although this may hurt him a bit, he'd never turn his back on you."
Todd tears up a bit. "But I—" he pauses, voice shaking. "But I don't want him to hurt. At all."
Meeks squeezes his shoulder softly. "I know you don't, Todd. But Neil will always love you, no matter what."
Todd just nods again, quickly wiping his eyes, embarrassed.
Meeks' lips start to grow into a gentle smile as he quietly adds, "Oh, and don't tell Neil I told you this, but the other day he told me that you're one of the best things that's ever happened to him."
Todd's blue eyes widen just by a bit as he slowly blushes and smiles idiotically. "Really?"
Meeks playfully winks and grins.
After Meeks goes back to his dorm to get some more rest, Todd goes back to his own dorm as there's no point staying out there.
Closing the door as quiet as possible, he scans the room and his eyes immediately land on Neil, who's still softly snoring.
Todd smiles faintly, but he still feels some of the guilt eating away at him. Even though Meeks gave him the best reassurance he could give, he still feels horrible. He just can't believe he forgot about Valentines Day.
His eyes lit up as he realizes he has the perfect plan. The perfect gift.
Poetry.
Neil has always loved Todd's poetry. Wants Todd to cherish that. He always encourages the shorter boy to write more, and wants him to write about anything that catches his eye.
Todd silently goes back to his own bed, pulling his notebook and pencil out. He opens a fresh sheet, and starts to brainstorm.
As he thinks, he starts nibbling on his eraser, trying to think of the best poem to write for Neil, especially on this special day.
He slowly begins to write.
I slowly open up my heart,
No longer caring.
For a lifetime, I—
He erases. Not good enough.
To you, this may be true.
But the hopeless love that I bring,
Is just as true, and I just wish—
He tries to think of more words to write, but shakes his head, becoming irritated. Still not good enough. He erases again, pressing harder on the paper.
The last attempt he tried was so stupid he didn't even read it to himself.
As he erases, he ends up pressing too hard, ripping the paper, which echos throughout the room.
He freezes as he hears the sheets move, along with a quiet sigh.
Oh, no.
He shuts his eyes tightly and just sits there, hearing more movement.
"Wha—Where—" he hears Neil's low, rough voice.
Todd opens his eyes, and spots Neil sitting up in bed, quickly rubbing at his eyes.
"Todd—Todd," Neil finally looks at him. "Why are you up this early? And why are you over there?"
Todd is quiet, just stares at him. He's unsure what to say.
He swallows the lump in his throat, slowly saying whatever's on his mind.
"I'm—I'm so sorry, Neil," Todd begins. "I thought that—I thought that I had a lot of more time to plan things out, but I didn't." He wants to look away, wants to look at something else, but he keeps his eyes on Neil. It's always Neil.
Neil slowly blinks, brows furrowed slightly in confusion. "What? What are you apologizing for?" He sounds genuinely clueless. "What plans? What happened? Is everything alright?"
Todd blushes a bit, and can't help but smile a little at that concern that Neil always has for him.
He slowly drops his smile, slowly telling him...
"Todays Valentines Day."
It's quiet for a moment.
Neil's eyebrows rise. "What? No, no it can't be. It's.." he looks up at their calendar, and his jaw slowly drops in complete shock.
The knots in Todd's stomach finally start to loosen. He wasn't the only one who had forgotten.
Todd slightly flinches from the sudden movement as Neil pretty much jumps out of his bed and rushes to him, placing his hands on both of his shoulders as he hovers over him.
"Oh my God, Todd. I'm so, so, sorry. I also thought that I had more time to plan things out. For the both of us. I just—I've been so busy with school this week, and—"
Todd gently interupts him, "Neil, It's okay. This week has also been rough for me, and I—" He shakes his head, helplessly laughing a bit from their poor timing. "I understand, really."
Neil smiles a bit, relief present in his body language. "Maybe next year we won't forget this time. Wow, I really had thought that Valentines Day was next week!" He chuckles to himself, shaking his head.
Todd smiles back, warmth filling his chest. He slowly thinks from the phone call with Jeffrey, and feels so much embarrassment for how it went.
"Hey—uh, Neil," Todd stammers softly. As Neil tilts his head curiously, Todd blushes and murmurs, "I called my brother a while ago, because y'know.. I wanted to get some sort of idea of how to celebrate this day with you."
Neil nods, his chocolate eyes softening.
Todd can't help the huge grin that trails over his lips, and slowly recontinues talking. "Well, he thinks I have a girlfriend now. Because I panicked. He wants to know my "girlfriend" and I just—" he sighs, "I'm not really sure what to do now."
Neil blinks a few times before smiling and shaking his head, "Oh, Todd. How did that even happen? What made you panic?" He chuckles softly, non-judgmental.
Todd slowly looks down quietly, Neil's hands still on his shoulders. "Well, I—It's a pretty long story. I don't want to bother you with it," He tries to excuse himself out of the situation, but it doesn't work.
Neil laughs softly and whispers, "I have all the time in the world for you, sweetheart. You'd never bother me. Ever," He reassures his boyfriend.
Todd blushes a bit at being called 'sweetheart'. It makes his heart melt. Every time.
"Well, my family is pretty confusing. Really confusing." Todd chuckles to himself, no humor. "Jeffrey.. it's hard to know what he thinks about homosexuality. He always just shrugs whenever I mention the topic."
Neil's grin slowly fades.
"And then my uh—my parents," Todd whispers, nearly to himself. "They look at me with such disgust, Neil. It's honestly—" he sighs, "It's honestly so draining for me to deal with constantly. I don't know what would happen if they found out I was dating another boy. I don't want to know."
Complete silence.
Todd bites his lip, whispering, "I'm—I'm sor—"
"No, Todd. No apologizing."
He looks up at Neil, hands moving away from Todd's shoulders to his face.
"You have nothing to apologize for. Absolutely nothing," He states. "I don't know what would happen if my parents found out, especially my dad."
Todd blinks up at Neil, thumbs carressing his cheek bones.
"Your parents have no idea what kind of amazing person you truly are, and neither do mine. But you know what?" He whispers, voice full of confidence. "I don't care, Todd. I don't care what anyone thinks about us. You're my boyfriend, and I would never trade anything for that. I love you."
Todd's eyes slightly start to water. "Neil I—" He swallows, "I love you too."
Neil smiles softly and Todd can't help but stand up and hug him. Neil gently rubs his nose against his shoulder.
Todd blinks as Neil is incredibly close to his face, more than he usually is.
"Todd." Neil whispers.
"Yeah?" He replies softly, slightly hesitant, not sure what else to say.
Neil rests his hands on Todd's waist, and slowly looks down at his notebook, still opened to the ripped page.
"What happened to your notebook?"
Todd blushes and can't help but laugh a bit. "I was, Uh—trying to make a poem for you, and I got frustrated."
Neil laughs and murmurs, "Oh, Todd. You're amazing."
It's silent, his face still near Todd's.
"I think—I think I have the perfect gift. For the both of us." Neil whispers softly, voice slightly shaking.
Todd slowly nods, knowing what he's implying. His mouth trembles, but he knows Neil would never do anything he's uncomfortable with. He trusts him, and always will.
As Neil leans in and gently presses his lips to Todd's, they both feel the spark.
Their first kiss is very soft, awkward. Just a quick peck, and the kiss ends abruptly, immediately staring at each other.
Todd is the first to laugh. Neil joins in, and they gently bring their foreheads together. It's comfortable, really.
"We should work on it, but this was still exciting," Neil softly murmurs.
Todd just smiles and whispers, "Yeah. Yeah, it really was."
Neil smiles and carresses Todd's cheek, hesitantly whispering. "Hey, you know, I don't think I've ever told you this, but—" he pauses, smiling shyly. "You do know that you're one of the best things that's ever happened to me, right?"
His eyes soften as he looks at Neil, remembering what Meeks said to him, and he was right. He smiles up at him, feeling absolutely loved.
"No," Todd gently whispers. "No. I didn't know that."
