Work Text:
Kim Iwol didn’t know about the leak until a full two days after it happened.
This was entirely inexcusable, and he said as much to Manager Chanyoung as soon as he was informed. Events like this were exactly why Iwol had to be monitoring fan opinions online. Now that he knew this situation, he could start preparing his apology.
Manager Chanyoung sighed. He said, “You’re still on vacation, Iwol,” over the phone. “You should be taking time to relax, not worrying about a scandal. Besides, if we did something to induce more stress in you, the scandal will just get worse. Everyone’s already worried about your health. Let us handle it, please.”
“I appreciate your help, Manager Chanyoung,” said Iwol. “Unfortunately it seems like the connection here is poor. I’m losing signal. Very sorry.” And then he hung up.
Iwol had promised Jeong Seongbin he wouldn’t look for bad fan responses on social media, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
The sun streamed in through the duplex’s windows. Iwol was lounging on a couch because spArk (Jeong Seongbin, mostly) had insisted that he rest the day away today. In this idyllic scene, Iwol removed all of his muted word filters on every social media account he had, and set to searching.
≫ Major news concerning SpArk’s Kim Iwol !!
Did anyone else see this? It’s an article from a reputable news outlet, so even if the source is anonymous, the content must be accurate…
I don’t know how to feel. If this is true, then Iwol’s been suffering with this all alone. Sparklers, what should we do?
└ Just seeing this for the first time… what the h*ll?
└ I want to believe it’s not true, but it just makes too much sense. Look at how pale he is!!! Sparklers, we should’ve known something was wrong!!!
└└ No, how could we have known? He just looked beautiful to us ㅠㅠㅠ But now that I know the truth, I feel ugly even thinking that ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
└└└ You’re right!! How could we have known! Iwol’s always been the best about self-care and looking out for the other members—how could we know that he was neglecting himself the whole time?
≫ Elaboration on the news about Iwol
I totally understand that some of you don’t want to read it … I was almost too scared to read it myself. So here’s what the news is.
Apparently Iwol (oldest hyung of idol group SpArk, if anyone here is still unconverted) has been having health issues for a while. We’ve known about some (you can read about the assault here and here) but this is of a different scale.
According to an anonymous source, a few months ago Iwol was given caffeine during a routine planning meeting and had a heart attack. His heart attack was so severe that he had to be rushed immediately to the hospital and kept there for a day.
This source said that Iwol had early warning signs for a heart attack, and the caffeine is what triggered it. Now he’s apparently fine, but is on a slightly lighter schedule.
SpArknotes version: A few months ago, Iwol had a heart attack triggered by caffeine.
└ Thank you for the summary. I wish I hadn’t read it.
└ So Iwol got hurt again, and UA didn’t tell us? Sparklers, I’m starting to lose trust in this company…
└└ ‘Starting’? Those of us who’ve been here the whole time have never had any trust in them! Haven’t you been paying attention? Iwol’s the reason Spark’s been able to thrive, and the company can’t even take care of him!!
└└ Me too…
└└└ Me too +2
└└└ Me too +3
└└└ Me too +your phone number
└ Isn’t there a bigger problem here? Check out this thread!
≫ Why did they let Iwol have caffeine?
Sparklers, I’m so upset right now… I can barely type through the tears… but hasn’t Iwol told us the preferences of each of the members many times? Every time, hasn’t he told us he doesn’t drink caffeine? Hasn’t he been telling us this since before the incident…?
Maybe I’m thinking too deeply on it, but why would Iwol drink caffeine if he doesn’t like it?
└ You’re right! I refuse to believe the Iwol, the member who knows everyone’s drink orders off the top of his head, would have caffeine on purpose!
└└ Maybe he just slipped up. It happens sometimes
└└└ Green tea, kombucha, headache pills, orange soda all have caffeine and most people don’t even know it
└└└ But is Iwol really the type to slip up like that?
└└ You’re implying something dangerous!!!
└ OP can barely type through their tears but is still somehow remembering obscure trivia mentioned for 0.093 seconds half a year ago ㅋㅋㅋ
└└ It’s not that obscure. Iwol talks about this sort of stuff all the time
└└ If you’re not going to be productive, get off this thread.
└ Do you really think someone would give Iwol caffeine on purpose? Except, as I’m typing this, I’m remembering… didn’t spArk fire a manager around this time? Without much statement?
└└ UA fired the manager, not spArk.
└└ How do you people remember all of this ?!
└└└ Actually a good question… I’m pretty sure that info isn’t public knowledge
Half an hour of searching left Iwol with inconclusive evidence. Not everything about the scandal—if it could be called a scandal—was leaked. Hong Unseop’s name had yet to be mentioned anywhere, as far as Iwol could tell. But every time Iwol reloaded the page, new posts popped up. And each post pinned down the details further.
At this rate, Sparklers had already put two and two together; it was only a matter of time before they put their findings into words.
Iwol put the phone down and rubbed at his eyes. Strangely they didn’t feel too sore even though he’d been staring at his phone for a while. Was this the power of a good night’s sleep? If so, he should cherish it. Iwol wouldn’t be sleeping soundly for a while, now.
He picked back up the phone and refreshed it again. The posts were even more focused now. Iwol was almost proud of how fast Sparklers were constructing a timeline. Someone had created a public document to put sources in and another person was trying to share a Canva file to diagram things out. Iwol almost wanted to tell that second person to give up—with this many people, a collaborative diagram would be impossible. But obviously Iwol couldn’t speak up on the matter.
No, wait, Iwol had a bigger matter to speak up on. Like he’d thought before, he should start working on his apology. Sparklers needed to know that he took his health seriously, and that UA wasn’t complicit in the accident.
To draft his apology, Iwol should use the computer. He wasn’t from the generation of people who could do important tasks on their phones, after all. He sat up on the couch and went to grab the computer off of the table, only to hit nothing. The computer was gone.
Ah. Right. Park Joowoo had the computer right now. He’d taken it to print out sheet music for last night’s jam practice, and must have plugged it in somewhere in his room. He was probably somewhere in (or more accurately, around) the pool at the moment. It’d be easy enough for Iwol to slip into his room and grab the computer without any fuss.
Iwol heaved himself off the couch and crept down the hallway to the room that Joowoo, Seongbin, and Kiyeon had shared. He slid the door open soundlessly, peered inside, and found… nothing. No computer. Shit.
With a sense of dread Iwol grew a theory about what was happening. He went out to the pool.
Like Iwol had suspected, Joowoo was lying under the shade by the pool. Cheonghyeon and Kiyeon were splashing around in the water, albeit at a much more subdued rate than yesterday. Choi Jeho was swimming laps around them. And, perched on a beach chair, Seongbin sat with the computer.
“Jeong Seongbin,” Iwol said as he neared. “The most esteemed leader of SpArk who I respect very much. I was wondering—”
“You can’t have the computer,” Seongbin said.
“Why not?” Iwol asked.
Seongbin was wearing sunglasses; he lowered them with one finger so he could look Iwol in the eyes. His expression of disappointment stabbed Iwol through the heart, which was unfair because that was Iwol’s weak point. “What are you planning to do with the computer, hyung?” he asked.
“Of course I’m going to do relaxing things,” Iwol lied. “Like play video games.”
“You’ve been banned from playing the most relaxing game of all time,” Seongbin said. “You’re not allowed to have the computer for this vacation.”
Iwol experienced the visceral sensation of someone removing one of his limbs. “Not at all…?” he asked weakly.
Seongbin took in the seriousness in Iwol’s expression. “Maybe a little bit, in the future,” he allowed. “But you’re not allowed to use it right now. And you won’t be allowed to use it until we’ve discussed what we’re doing with UA.”
Iwol sat down on the chair next to Seongbin’s. “So you’ve already talked to the managers,” he said.
“Yes,” said Seongbin.
Cheonghyeon had been drifting closer in the pool. He splashed Kiyeong once, absently, then asked, “Talked to the managers about what?”
Iwol cast a glance to Seongbin. Seongbin held his gaze neutrally. “Some news came out,” Iwol said, “and now the public knows about my heart incident.”
Cheonghyeon’s hands stilled on the surface of the water. “About your heart attack?” he clarified.
Iwol could not stop his expression from flickering. “Yes,” he said.
Park Joowoo was looking at them from his chair; Kang Kiyeon had dropped his water gun; Choi Jeho stopped swimming and shook water from his hair.
Iwol disliked the attention. “It’ll be fine,” he said. “I’ll start working on my apology as soon as I’m able.” If he had to write it on paper, then so be it.
“You shouldn’t apologize for getting hurt,” Choi Jeho said.
“I’m apologizing for the distress this incident is causing Sparklers,” Iwol corrected him. He narrowed his eyes at Jeho. “Did you wait for your sunscreen to soak in before you got into the pool?”
“Yes,” Jeho said, but he sank back into the water.
“You can't be writing an apology right now,” Joowoo said from his chair. His voice was quiet; Iwol had to turn around to hear him. “You’re on vacation.”
“I won’t write it right now,” said Iwol. He’d draft it; that was different.
“Good,” said Cheonghyeon, and Kiyeon nodded as well. “So then you’ll hang out with us by the pool, right, hyung?”
“I didn’t put on any sunscreen,” said Iwol. He stood up from his seat. “Seongbin, please let me know when the computer is available for my use.”
“Wait,” said Seongbin, moving to stand up from his chair. But before he could speak, Kiyeon pulled himself out of the pool.
“I’m done with the pool now,” Kiyeon announced. “Hyung, if you’re not doing anything, would you want to read some Kingdom Cafeteria with me? I brought some of the side stories with me.”
Iwol hesitated. Normally he’d agree, because Kiyeon had asked him; but he really needed to start working on that draft. “You’re past me though, right? I still haven’t started part two,” he said.
“Luckily, I brought a side story you may like.” Kiyeon began drying himself off with a resolute expression. “Technically it takes place in the middle of part two, but it’s mostly a standalone. It’s about Blanche.”
Blanche was Iwol’s favorite character, and Kiyeon knew it.
“Oh, isn’t that perfect?” chimed in Cheonghyeon. “Hyung, you’ve never cared about spoilers anyway, right?”
Iwol was cornered. It was unnecessary, though. Kiyeon clearly had brought this side story for him, and Iwol wasn’t going to refuse such a thoughtful gesture. “Alright,” he said. “But you should take a shower first. If you don’t, the chlorine will disrupt your hair texture.”
Kiyeon didn’t argue.
With a last glance around the pool, Iwol headed back inside. Kiyeon would shower fast. Still, Iwol had a few minutes to do some more research before Kiyeon came out.
The overwork of idols: a constant problem
By Reporter #92, published 20XX.
An idol faints in an airport, falls asleep on stream, collapses on stage, or discloses unhealthy dieting plans. The fandom rallies to fight for their health. The victim releases an apology statement, and claims that they’ll be given more time to rest soon. A month later, someone else collapses.
Sound familiar? It should. These incidents happen all the time, and despite recent pushes toward acknowledging mental health in idol culture, the incidents aren’t getting less severe. If anything, they’re getting worse.
Take idol Kim Iwol, for example. He’s a member of the rising-star boy-band spArk, and fans have long commented on his unhealthily-pale look. Recently, news leaked that he had a heart attack while under his company’s care, and the incident was completely covered up. Think that’s bad? Kim Iwol’s also been assaulted by a previous member of his company. You’d think that the company would learn its lesson and start to support its idols more, but clearly it hasn’t.
Instead this is just another strike in the long line of companies failing to support the idols they claim to cherish. Overwork in the idol industry is a real problem, and if the industry doesn’t get its act together, soon things will progress to the point where apologies are no longer an option. Already idols … [Read more]
≫ Starting to get really worried about spArk
The f*cking company is overworking our boys!!! First Iwol gets attacked, and now this !? Something must be done!!!!
└ We should’ve been anticipating this for a long time. Haven’t we always talked about how great spArk is for being so active in the production, management, and creative aspects of their albums? But that’s such a big burden for just six people!!!
└└ Plus, their comeback schedules have been crazy packed!
└└ Yeah… I always bragged about how great spArk was for providing so much content, but now I’m wondering if that’s a bad thing
└└└ It’s not a bad thing! It’s artists doing what they love. SpArk wants to do this for us. Haven’t they said so many times?
└ Misleading title, please watch your language!
└ But what can we do? We’re just fans…
≫ Why are people being idols if they have weak constitutions
I don’t get it. If you have a poor constitution, don’t go into that job.
└ Just say it’s about Kim Pep lol
└└ You mean Kim Iwol from Spark?
└└└ Delete your comment right now.
└ I totally agree. People need to know their limits. If they try to push past them, then they’re just going to get themselves and others hurt
└ Maybe people don’t know if they have health issues when they join the industry? Some people are starting at a really young age… did you know your heart attack risk when you were eight years old?
└└ Even if they don’t know their issues when they start off, people should quit when a job becomes dangerous
└└└ What beautiful world do you live in? Not everyone can afford to quit their jobs, idiot
Iwol was only able to research for a few minutes before, unexpectedly, Park Joowoo walked in. He stood in the doorway and stared at Iwol with furrowed brows.
Iwol put away his phone. “Don’t make that expression,” he said. “You’ll get wrinkles at a young age.”
Joowoo’s expression relaxed marginally. “I wanted to print out more sheet music for another jam session, but I couldn’t get the printer to work,” he said. “Do you mind helping me out with it?”
“I thought you were relaxing by the pool?” Iwol prodded.
“I’d been wanting to ask you about the printer, but I thought you were busy,” Joowoo said. “But I think you’re free now, so, um, if you don’t mind?”
Iwol was slightly suspicious of this, but he followed Joowoo to the printer room. There, it didn’t take him much time to figure out the problem. The tray was out of paper and for some reason, all of the black ink was missing. Actually fixing the problem took much longer—for some reason, the ink wasn’t stored directly under the printer.
Iwol had checked most of the rooms by the time Kiyeon came out of the shower. He informed Kiyeon of the issue, and Kiyeon nodded solemnly. “I can try to help you search,” he offered.
Joowoo had been opening drawers in the kitchen. He poked his head in the room. “You don’t have to,” he said. “Actually, I think I just found the ink.”
“Really?” Iwol asked. “Where was it?”
“A dusty corner,” Joowoo said.
“Good find,” said Iwol. He seemed to recall that Joowoo had searched the house thoroughly when they’d first arrived, and had admired the startling lack of dusty corners; but perhaps Iwol was misremembering. “I’ll give you a hand with putting the ink inside.”
“No need.” And Joowoo walked off.
“Let’s get started reading then, hyung,” suggested Kiyeon.
Iwol tore his eyes away from the ink cartridge in Joowoo’s hand, which was missing half its ink. “Let’s get started,” he agreed, and he accepted the book that Kiyeon handed him.
≫ Info leaked about Kim Iwol’s heart attack
So, I’m not a fangirl, but I do have a friend who dated a guy who works at the company, and she said that he told her about this heart attack thing when it happened. The heart attack happened in the middle of a planning meeting because Kim Iwol drank a barley latte. He wasn’t supposed to drink it because he had a well-known sensitivity to caffeine, but the new manager that UA had hired bought it for him.
The manager thought that Iwol was just being picky about caffeine. He was fired soon after.
└ That’s awful!! I can’t believe UA hired such an incompetent manager
└ Source, please?
└└ +1 … My mother’s sister’s ex-neighbor’s dogsitter’s son always told me not to trust the word of strangers
└ I can confirm this. I also knew someone who works at this company and they told me the same thing (with a bit less detail).
└ Is this manager Hong Unseop?
The side story was surprisingly compelling. Iwol was worried he wouldn’t be able to get into it because he still hadn’t started part two of Kingdom Cafeteria ~Another~, but Kiyeon was right. The story was relatively standalone. Plus, Blanche was an engaging character, in Iwol's unbiased opinion.
Iwol wasn’t so absorbed in the story that he failed to grab his phone and sleuth on the internet when Kiyeon got up to use the bathroom, though. The situation was developing like he’d thought. Soon Sparklers would probably be able to find sources to support their rumors. UA’s security was fairly good, and the changes it had recently implemented to encourage employee loyalty had been effective as far as Iwol was aware, but even a loyal employee may have trouble resisting the siren call of an internet scandal. Hong Unseop had burned some allies with his stunt as well; Iwol wouldn’t be surprised if someone dropped evidence in an attempt to cut the man off from the entertainment industry completely.
There was no point in speculating about what would happen next. All Iwol could do was write an apology. But he couldn’t even do that right now. The brightness of his phone was making Iwol’s head hurt.
When Kiyeon came back, it was harder for Iwol to focus on the story. He kept pulling out words from the text for his apology: was it indelicate to use the word ‘sincere’ in the first sentence? was ‘violate’ too strong of a word for the situation? was it worth it to talk about intent, or would it undermine the distress Iwol knew his Sparklers were in?
Eventually Kiyeon closed his book. He was reading ahead of Iwol. “You’re barely reading at all now, hyung,” he commented.
Iwol closed his book as well. “I”m having trouble focusing,” he said. “I think I need a break.”
Kiyeon’s eyes darted to the kitchen. Seongbin was in there, along with Joowoo and Cheonghyeon. They’d been working on dinner for the last hour.
“I’ll be right back,” Iwol said.
When Kiyeon didn’t protest, Iwol took off. He headed for the bathroom on the first floor, but then looped around to climb up the stairs when he was out of eyeshot and earshot of the rest of spArk. Upstairs, Iwol went for the furthest bathroom. He locked himself in and pulled out his phone.
“Manager Chanyoung,” Iwol said, when his call was received. “I really think it would be best if I began working on my apology as soon as possible.”
Manager Chanyoung sounded very tired. “Please, Iwol, you’re on vacation,” he said. “We’re already working on how to handle it here.”
“Are you?” Iwol asked. “This scandal’s been building for days and you haven’t released any official statement. Now the issue’s beginning to snowball. People from outside spArk’s fandom are getting involved. They’re using this incident to attack UA and other companies.” He found himself pacing back and forth in the small bathroom. “If this continues, isn’t it obvious that other companies will be damaged as well? Don’t you want this controlled as fast as possible?”
“We’re aware,” Manager Chanyoung said.
Iwol cringed and stopped pacing. He’d been talking in a low and rapid tone. It was too forceful a manner to speak to a superior, and more than that, Manager Chanyoung didn’t deserve Iwol’s ire. “I’m sorry for my tone,” he said, as politely as he could. “I’m just worried about UA’s reputation.”
“We’re working on it,” Manager Chanyoung said again. Then he sighed, and when he spoke next it sounded as if he were speaking much more quietly into the receiver. “UA has a statement drafted, and we’ll be releasing it soon. We think you shouldn’t release an apology, though, and would really prefer that you stay uninvolved with this process. There’s a lot of legal work to be done now that Hong Unseop’s name has been leaked to the forums. Plus, we really don’t want to put pressure on you right now—please consider it from our perspective.”
“I understand,” Iwol said, begrudgingly. “But I believe the fans deserve an apology and some clarification from me.”
“Sure,” Manager Chanyoung admitted, “but it doesn’t have to be now. They know you’re okay, if that’s what you’re worried about. Since this incident happened in the past and you’ve appeared in public with no issues since then, no one’s too worried about your immediate health.”
This was a good point. If this scandal had happened immediately after the incident, the fans would be desperate to know Iwol was okay. Since there was some time in between, although the fans wanted more information, no one was actively fearing for Iwol’s life.
“You can work on your announcement later,” Manager Chanyoung said. “Let us focus on ours first.”
“Yes, Manager,” said Iwol. He immediately ruined his deferential tone by adding, “I’d like to see your announcement before you publish it, please.”
“…I’ll ask the others and get back to you on that,” Manager Chanyoung said. “Please enjoy your vacation, Iwol.”
“Thank you,” Iwol said. This time, Manager Chanyoung hung up first.
When Iwol descended the stairs back to the first floor, all of spArk was hanging out in front of the kitchen. Joowoo and Kiyeon were speaking quietly to each other, Seongbin was on his phone with a dark expression, and Jeho was talking to Cheonghyeon.
Cheonghyeon noticed Iwol first. “Iwol hyung, there you are!” He skipped over to Iwol. “We’ve just finished making dinner, and were talking about what movie to watch tonight after we eat! We’re thinking something silly, or something with action—we want to make sure Jeho hyung stays awake this time. What do you say?”
“I don’t have any particular suggestions,” Iwol said.
Cheonghyeon didn’t seem discouraged. He steered Iwol in front of the television, then draped himself over him. “How about we do a bit of browsing, then? Joowoo and Kiyeon are getting dinner plated, but we should have a bit of time to pick something out before they’re done!”
“Alright,” Iwol said, a bit helplessly. Seongbin slipped outside; it looked like he was taking a call. Iwol wanted to ask what for, but he suspected he already knew the answer. And Cheonghyeon wasn’t letting Iwol go any time soon.
Iwol settled back and resigned himself to his fate, at least for now.
≫ Post from Berion about the incident
Screenshot_28390400.png
Isn’t this so nice of them? Looks like they’re on our side, Sparklers!
[Alt ID: A screenshot message posted to Berion’s Instagram account, dated half an hour before this post. The message is simple white text on a grey background. The font is 굴림. It reads:
Berion always supports the people who have supported us. We hope our hyung knows we have his back. 🎇🎆🐈⬛
End Alt ID.]
└ Woah, bold move!
└└ It’s a bit unpolished, I wonder if they did it themselves ㅋㅋ
└└└ I think you might be right
└└└ No self-respecting marketing agency would use 굴림, of course they did it themselves
└└└ Watch it be taken down in the next few hours….
└ Berion fan here! Our fandom stands by the Sparklers as well. Overwork is a serious issue!
└└ +1! Sparklers, you have my sword!
└└└ And my shield!
└└└ And my axe!
└└└ Guys, please don’t threaten actual violence on the forums or a mod will get involved
└└└└ It’s a reference to a movie, it should be fine ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└└ Sparkler here… thank you so much for the support! Here’s the document where we’ve compiled all the sources talking about the incident, and here’s the document where we’ve created a rough timeline of events, and here’s the diagram of places and times (supplementary to the timeline document), and there’s also [Read more]
└└└ Holy sh*t this is a new level of keyboard warrior
└└└└ *cracks knuckles* You ain’t seen nothin’ yet
└ If UA won’t treat Iwol right, maybe he should jump ship ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└└ Iwol would be disappointed in you for suggesting that.
≫ Post from Gu Jahan
Screenshot_67.png
This guy’s hilarious
[Alt ID: A screenshot of a message posted to Gu Jahan’s Instagram account, dated minutes before this post. The message is a white text on a grey background, and the font is 윤명조. The text is small and jam-packed. It reads:
It seems time and again that the most amazing people are sent the hardest burdens to bear. This was how I felt when I was informed that a close friend of mine has been experiencing severe health issues. Friend, if you’re reading this, please know that you have all of my support through this tough time. To everyone else, it should be obvious that a person who is struggling should be uplifted instead of pushed down. I hope everyone reading this will keep that in mind while discussing this deeply upsetting news. Know that I will not tolerate any slander or improper conduct toward my friend.
End Alt ID.]
└ Why is your screenshot number so low
└└ Why do you care about that ?? Maybe they have a new phone or something who cares
└ Somehow I feel like this is even less professional than Berion’s post ???
└└ I feel like they’re both equally passionate
└ I didn’t realize that Kim Iwol and Gu Jahan were friends like that
└└ Apparently they got pretty close while shooting My Office
└ He’s got the spirit, I’ll take it!! Someone send him the docs!!!!
└└ Please. do. not. send. him. the. docs.
└└ On it, boss! We’ll enlist him in the army right away!
≫ Looking for a way to support Kim Iwol
Hi guys. I’m not really a part of this fandom, but Kim Iwol and I met on a set a while ago. Nothing important and nothing you guys haven’t already seen, so don’t get too excited over it. Anyways, I thought he was going to be kind of stuck-up, but he turned out to be the most fantastic person on set. He was super polite, and he cleaned up after everyone, including the staff.
I think it’s such a shame that he’s having health problems. I know that a lot of my coworkers agree. He left such a strong impression that we all still talk about him ㅋㅋ But I was wondering if there’s some way to show our support to him. We really don’t know much about the idol business, so any info would be appreciated.
└ Iwol would be so happy to hear that he left a good impression on you guys ㅠㅠ
└ I’m so happy that you’ve decided to join us in supporting Kim Iwol through this trying time! Here’s a list of materials to get you started:
> Document of sources about the incident
> Diagram of timeline of the incident
> Forum where we’ve been discussing actions to take as a fandom (including petitions, advertisement banners, and strikes)
> Social media accounts for UA, UA’s president, spArk, and all of the individual accounts of spArk as well!
Thanks for your interest!
└└ Sparklers really are on another level
SpArk spent about an hour and a half discussing the movie after it was finished. Iwol was deeply engaged for the first hour, and managed to put together a compelling argument for which fantasy powers each member of spArk would have. Cheonghyeon had a strong counterargument, but Iwol struck it down by pointing out that Cheonghyeon’s lineup failed to account for previous album concepts. In Iwol’s opinion, a proper idol album should not only have depth, complexity, and consistency within itself, but it should also converse with the other albums so as to deepen the group’s lore rather than contradict it. Of course, it was good to allow variance in roles between albums, but not all variance was built equal, and Park Joowoo could conceivably have cool blue-orange flames, but wouldn’t it be more fun there was an archery element as well, in reference to the sports day?
Cheonghyeon was argued into submission. Park Joowoo and Jeong Seongbin picked up the conversation after Kiyeon pointed out that there weren’t any fantasy powers in this movie, so why were they even discussing this anyway? Iwol, though, had lost his steam.
He tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling as Cheonghyeon and Kiyeon started an in-depth discussion of whether the twists of the movie were predictable. The sound of spArk talking was pleasant.
Iwol had been deeply relaxed, before he got the news about the scandal. It was odd how he only really noticed the depth of his relaxation once it was gone. But Iwol felt very familiar with loss, and he knew it often worked like that; so through that lens, it wasn’t odd at all.
Now there was no time for relaxation. Iwol tried to draft his apology in his mind. He had a lot of experience drafting his resignation letter in his mind, so the apology shouldn’t have been too hard. It was proving strangely difficult, though. All of the thoughts he’d had while reading Kingdom Cafeteria ~Another~ had flown from his mind. Iwol was having trouble getting past the first line: Sparklers, I’m sorry.
“Iwol,” said Seongbin.
Iwol sat up and blinked at him. “Yes?” he asked. He looked around. The TV was off. SpArk was filtering out of the room.
For a moment Seongbin looked like he wanted to say something serious. Then he smiled. “I set up a charging station, so you can charge your phone here,” he said. He held out his hand. Cowed, Iwol handed it over. “Thank you. Sleep well, hyung. And remember, there’s no nightlight, so please make sure Choi Jeho doesn’t get up in the middle of the night.”
“Of course,” Iwol said. He watched Seongbin put his phone by the laptop. The message was clear: Iwol wasn’t supposed to touch either device tonight. He delivered his good-nights and got out of the room. It wasn’t worth the temptation.
Choi Jeho was collapsed in bed when Iwol arrived in their room. Iwol prepared himself for sleep, then slunk under the covers as quietly as he could.
Last night sleep had not come easily, but it had come nonetheless. This night, Iwol stared at the ceiling.
And he stared at the ceiling.
And he stared at the ceiling.
With dry eyes, Iwol sat up in bed.
Choi Jeho twitched in his sleep. Iwol sank back down.
Iwol had come to a realization about his parents last night. It had felt good, like lancing a boil or squeezing pus out of an infected wound. Now it did not feel good. What changed? Nothing had changed.
Iwol was deeply frustrated. He sat up again. He blinked furiously but his eyes did not stop being dry. He sank back down.
The world knew about Iwol’s heart attack. So what? The world had known days before Iwol was informed that it knew. And Iwol was an idol; privacy was not something he could, would, or did expect. So, what? What was the issue? What had changed?
Iwol sat up again. This time he did not go back down almost immediately. He rubbed his fingers against his eyelids. He’d slept alright last night, and had gone many nights in a row without sleep at all—why were his eyes so dry now?
“Kim Iwol,” said Choi Jeho. Iwol froze with his palms pressed against his eyes. There was a heavy sigh from Choi Jeho’s side of the room. “Do you want to go for a walk?”
“A walk?” Iwol repeated. Like this, with his hands against his eyes, the world was uniformly dark. “To where?”
“Where else? Just around,” Choi Jeho answered.
“You want to walk around the duplex?” Iwol asked.
“Yes,” Choi Jeho said. “Why, do you not want to?”
“No,” Iwol said. Choi Jeho started to make another sound like a sigh. “No,” Iwol repeated, taking his hands from his face, “no, I wouldn’t mind it.”
“Oh. Okay, let’s go.” And Choi Jeho was swinging himself out of bed like he hadn’t been sleeping moments ago.
Iwol blinked rapidly as his eyes adjusted to seeing again. “Wait, you won’t be able to—”
“I brought a flashlight,” Jeho interrupted him. After a few seconds of pawing, a bright light illuminated the room. Iwol squinted against the glare.
Jeho stumbled out the door as Iwol fumbled out of bed. Remarkably, together they managed not to make a cacophony as they pulled on their shoes and crept out of the house. Maybe it was because they’d become practiced at this. Even in a different location, the movements were mostly the same. It was a little bit odd to be going out without Kiyeon, but he’d only joined for a few outings so far. And Iwol didn’t want to wake him up.
Iwol stepped outside and immediately felt the chill. It was bracing. Still there were insects chirping into the cool night.
The duplex was isolated from the other houses nearby, but it was clearly in a neighborhood. Jeho began to pick his way down its driveway, toward the rest of the houses. His flashlight lit the ground between streetlights. He stopped beneath one and turned back to Iwol. “Are you coming or not?”
Iwol shook himself into action. “You’re moving too fast,” he told Jeho as he jogged to catch up. “Since we’re in the country now, you have to be careful where you step. If you trip and fall you could hurt something. And watch out for snakes.”
“It’s fine,” Jeho said. “The road’s paved.” He thumped his foot on the concrete. “Besides, there are more streetlights up here.” He veered right along the road.
There were no cars at this time of night. There was no one out at all. Iwol had been exaggerating a little bit by calling this area the country, but in this wild quiet it felt more rural than any other place Iwol had been. The white noise of insects was unrelenting.
Despite this, Jeho kept walking with confidence. He took another turn. This road was illuminated too, and had a sidewalk, which was good because it meant Iwol had nothing to complain about, and bad because it meant that Iwol had nothing to complain about. He followed Jeho.
Another turn. Iwol was growing agitated. They passed big houses lolling proudly on top of hills, and small houses jam-packed in the dips between them. Most of them were dark in the night. “Where are we going?” Iwol asked.
“Right up there.” Jeho pointed to a dark path off the main road.
“I’m not going down that,” Iwol said, stopping in his tracks.
“It’s fine.” Jeho flashed his light up the trees. Then he started down the path by himself.
“Jeho,” Iwol hissed. “Choi Jeho.” Jeho did not stop. Iwol let out a tense breath through his teeth and jogged after him.
The trees clawed the light from the streetlamps out of the sky. For a moment it was just Iwol in the dark. Then Jeho’s light landed on Iwol’s feet. “Right here,” Jeho said.
Iwol blinked the dark out of his eyes. The insects in their trees ceased chirping. It was a natural lull. The white noise didn’t stop, though, it just kept going in a low shush-shush, and Iwol realized that it was waves.
“It’s an overlook for the river,” Jeho said. He sounded awkward; he wasn’t the sort of person who would normally explain things that he felt the other person could figure out themselves. “There’s a railing, so you won’t fall in.”
Iwol drew toward the railing. He pressed his hands into the cool metal and leaned forward. From here the water was distant and dark, and even Jeho’s flashlight couldn’t give it form; but Iwol could hear it, and he could see it in the great sparkling flatness spread before him.
For a while Iwol breathed with the water.
He was the one who broke the silence, eventually. His eyes had adjusted to this new night, and he found Jeho sitting on a bench with the flashlight off. “Where did you learn about this place?” Iwol asked him.
“The managers of the villa recommended it,” Jeho said.
Iwol nodded. He’d have known about this place, too, if he had been involved in the booking process. It was a bit surprising that this villa had an overlook like this—as far as Iwol knew, they’d gotten it for a cheap price because it wasn’t near anything special. But they’d had to walk a bit to get to this overlook, and the river was still a ways away, so maybe this wouldn’t count as something special to anyone else.
Jeho had known this would count as something special to Iwol, or this was a coincidence; maybe he just wanted to go here anyway. Iwol wanted to give Jeho something in return, though. All Iwol had to offer now was conversation. “What do you think about it?” he asked Jeho.
“What?” It was hard to tell what expression Jeho was making in the dark; Iwol thought his eyes may be closed.
“What I should say in my apology,” Iwol said.
“Why are you writing an apology at all?” Jeho asked.
“Because Sparklers deserve to know that I didn’t intend to cause them distress with this news,” Iwol said.
Jeho made a disparaging sound. Iwol, feeling merciful, didn’t chew him out over his lack of piety. Instead he sat down next to Jeho on the bench.
“Why are you awake right now?” Jeho asked him.
Iwol felt less merciful. “Why are you awake?”
“Didn’t feel like sleeping,” Jeho said. “Why are you awake?”
“You got me up,” Iwol said.
“You were already awake. Why?”
Iwol was growing annoyed. “I was thinking about what I should write.”
In a stunning display of awareness, Jeho took a moment to think. Iwol exhaled deeply and inhaled again with the water.
“I was distressed too,” Choi Jeho said.
“What?”
“When you had a heart attack,” Choi Jeho said.
No shit, Iwol thought. Then, because it was Jeho and it was past midnight, he said “No shit” too.
Jeho shifted on the bench, but his expression was unreadable in the dark. “You didn’t apologize to us when you had a heart attack,” he said. “I don’t think you’re awake because you can’t apologize to Sparklers.”
“Did you want me to apologize to you because of my heart attack?” Iwol snapped.
“No,” Jeho said, fast. “I just—” And then he stopped talking, mid-sentence.
Iwol was so stunned to hear Jeho falter that he found himself checking the sky for aliens.
“You wouldn’t feel more obligation to strangers than you would to us,” said Jeho. “Right now your duty is to relax with us. Why is this keeping you up?”
Iwol couldn’t find any aliens in the sky, probably because the one sitting next to him had scared them away. “I don’t understand how your mind works,” he said to Jeho. “What are you talking about?”
Jeho shrugged.
They sat in silence for a few more minutes.
Choi Jeho was trying to help Kim Iwol with his feelings. This was embarrassing, but it was the only explanation that Iwol could think of for what was happening. How far had Iwol fallen, that Jeho felt he had to interfere?
… But in this quiet darkness Iwol could admit to himself that this intervention wasn’t unprecedented. Hadn’t all of their other night excursions been the same thing? Iwol or Jeho had been too agitated to sleep, so they worked off as much energy as they could. They just hadn’t talked about it before now.
And Jeho had been trying very hard to make Iwol talk.
But what would the point of talking be? Iwol had already told Jeho what was weighing on him. He felt the same. Nothing had changed.
Nothing had changed, thought Iwol again. He ran the thought through his mind in time with the water.
“It’s… odd… to have people care this much,” Iwol said, “about my health.” He paused.
“Like… responsibility?” Jeho asked.
”No. Yes. No. I don’t know why I’m talking about this with you,” Iwol said.
“Yes you do,” Jeho said.
“Shut up,” Iwol told him. “Didn’t you want me to talk? Why are you interrupting me? Anyway.” He paused again.
Jeho’s face was still dark; Iwol felt the judgement rolling off of him in waves.
“If I weren’t a part of spArk, no one would care about my heart attack,” Iwol said. “What changed?”
Jeho didn’t answer.
“I haven’t changed,” Iwol said. “Have I?”
“Would you have had this conversation with me when we first met?” Jeho asked.
“We didn’t know each other then,” Iwol said. But even if they did know each other, he knew the answer still would’ve been no. Jeho must’ve known too; he said nothing. “Is that worth this?” Iwol found himself asking. “Is a small change worth this amount of panic?”
Jeho started to answer, but Iwol was on a roll. “It’s too much,” he said. “If I weren’t a part of spArk, this wouldn’t be happening—UA wouldn’t be fielding these accusations—spArk wouldn’t be facing this pressure—the idol industry wouldn’t be disrupted this much.” What have I done? he thought. He found he was curling in on himself. He had to write his apology letter.
“If you weren’t a part of spArk,” Jeho said, slowly, meditatively, and Iwol uncurled to listen to him, “then you would’ve had the heart attack alone.”
“Yes,” said Iwol.
“I think it’s fine,” said Jeho.
Iwol turned his back on him.
“I mean—” Jeho began, and Iwol turned back to face him. “I think it’s better that you’re here. Obviously. What’s spArk without you?”
“Without me, spArk is still spArk,” Iwol said. “With me, spArk has to deal with….” He searched for a word other than burdens. None of the words he could think of were lighter or softer.
“So what?” Jeho asked. “Without me, spArk doesn’t have to worry about upsetting every person we talk to.” He added belatedly: “And spArk isn’t spArk without you.”
”It’s not the same,” Iwol said, because Jeho was always supposed to be here.
“Yes,” Jeho said, “because without you, spArk would’ve collapsed. And you would’ve had your heart attack alone.”
The second argument was true. The first one was a little bit, as well, wasn’t it? But maybe spArk was going to find new ways to collapse—but just that thought sent cold horror through Iwol’s body, shocking enough that he jolted in place. Iwol did not want spArk to collapse.
He really had changed. He used to pray daily for spArk’s downfall.
But was it worth it?
Fuck. Iwol was deluding himself. Of course he liked this version of spArk better! In the world that Iwol grew up in, Jeong Seongbin was beaten down, and Lee Cheonghyeon was absuing drugs, and Kang Kiyeon was plagued with anxiety, and Park Joowoo was deeply lonely. And Choi Jeho watched all of that from the sidelines. He would not have brought anyone out to the overlook in the other timeline.
Was it selfish of Iwol to like this timeline better? Yes. But spArk in this timeline was healthier, wasn’t it?
And Iwol did not want to give them up.
“I don’t know what’ll change,” Iwol said.
”Why does something have to change?” Jeho asked with irritation. “I like how things are now.” He reached out, and with a halting and awkward hand, patted Iwol on his shoulder.
Iwol listed into the contact. Jeho froze, and started to withdraw his hand; Iwol, tired, so fucking tired, grabbed his hand and manhandled it out of his way. He pressed himself against Jeho’s side. “Scientists need to study you in a lab,” he told Jeho’s shoulder.
“You are much more confusing than I am,” Jeho muttered.
Iwol had run out of things to say. He sighed and whacked Jeho’s arm, more out of principle than anything else. Jeho grumbled and moved his arm. Unexpectedly, he pulled it across Iwol’s shoulders. He shifted a bit. It occurred to Iwol that this was some sort of odd hug.
They sat there for a while. It wasn’t bad. Iwol hadn’t hugged anyone or been hugged like this since his sister died. At some point he realized he was shaking a bit, but Jeho didn’t comment on it.
Eventually Iwol was shaking more out of cold than out of anything else. “We should head back,” he said, and then when Jeho made an inquisitive sound he repeated it with his face away from Jeho’s shoulder.
“Okay,” said Jeho.
With great difficulty, Iwol said, “Thanks.”
Jeho’s arm tightened around Iwol. “I think you shouldn’t apologize for having a heart attack,” he said. “But you care a lot about workplace health and conditions, so maybe you can talk about that.”
Iwol paused. “In my apology?”
“You asked what I think you should say,” Jeho said, a bit stiffly.
“Forty-five minutes ago,” Iwol said. But he turned the idea around in his head. It wasn’t a bad one. Maybe instead of talking about himself, Iwol could turn this into a discussion of the effects of stress on the heart in general. It was an issue more people needed to learn about anyway. And it would deflect attention away from the idol industry, towards white-collar jobs and stressful jobs in general.
Iwol already knew some resources he could go to for information on this. And he knew some resources he could direct people towards. There were charities focused on educating people on heart health too, weren’t there?
Iwol was standing before he quite realized what he was doing. Jeho didn’t protest; he rose silently next to Iwol. “That’s a good idea,” Iwol told him.
“Why do you sound so shocked?” Jeho grumbled. “Come on. Didn’t you want to go back inside?”
“Right,” said Iwol. “Right. Let’s go.”
This time, Iwol led the way. The waves still lapped; the insects still burred; the houses still loomed dark with the night sky. They crept silently through the neighborhood, into the duplex, and into their room.
“Don’t stay up all night,” Jeho whispered as Iwol turned out the light.
“I won’t,” said Iwol as he crawled into bed. He didn’t mean it. Yet, as he laid in bed and thought through the various associations for heart health that he knew, he found himself gently falling into sleep.
≫ Iwol’s apology video
Here’s the link! I know UA already released this announcement a while ago, but it's really nice to hear Iwol's voice on the matter.
Transcript for those of you who can’t watch right now:
[Video opens with Kim Iwol sitting on the couch that spArk normally does their self-produced content on. He looks much more well-rested than normal.
Iwol, calmly and seriously: Hello. This is my formal response to recent news of my heart attack. Sparklers, I’m deeply sorry that news of my illness has caused such despair and stress for all of you. Please be assured that I have recovered from my heart attack. I am being very cognizant of my diet to avoid any more issues like this. spArk has been helping me to avoid caffeine as well, and has been very attentive to my physical capabilities. Any and all physical activities you see me engaging in have been planned to avoid stressing my heart.
A pause.
Iwol: Some of you have raised concerns that UA is treating me poorly. This is not the case. UA has been very understanding of my condition. I appreciate all of UA’s support.
Iwol leans slightly forward. This next section is said in a more intense tone.
Iwol: I have been deeply fortunate to receive attentiveness and grace during my recovery. However, not everyone has such understanding employers. Cardiovascular disease is the leading cause of death worldwide, and almost 20 million people die from cardiovascular diseases per year. Many of these deaths are likely avoidable, as CVD is preventable. Environmental conditions often cause or exacerbate CVD.
Iwol: Stress is one of these environmental conditions. Our workplace culture today is one of stress. White-collar workers with stressful working conditions have increased risk of CVD. Multiple scientific studies have explored the effects of stress, including or specifically workplace stress, on the heart. This is deeply troubling.
Iwol: I have been supported through my CVD. Many people are not supported through their CVD. Indeed, many people don’t notice their cardiovascular disease at all—these diseases can be difficult to detect or diagnose without proper equipment, and in our current culture of working nonstop, many people forgo a doctor’s visit that could save their lives. Furthermore, our aging population is particularly vulnerable to cardiovascular diseases.
Iwol: So, Sparklers, I would like to ask you to extend your support to other people as well. The Korea Heart Foundation is one of many nonprofits that fund heart surgeries and procedures. There are many associations that research cardiovascular diseases and their treatments as well. I’ve included links to these associations beneath this video. Finally, if you or someone you know is experiencing workplace related stress, remember you can file a complaint with the Ministry of Labor. To file a complaint with the Ministry of Employment and Labor, contact your local office or complete the E-application. I’ve included links to both the contact website for various offices and the E-application. Remember, you can also call the Ministry of Employment and Labor at any time using 1350. Never forget your rights as a worker.
Iwol leans back.
Iwol, in a more reserved tone: Thank you attending my apology. Though this incident was distressing, it highlighted to me how—how grateful I am to be a part of spArk. I love you all, Sparklers.
Video ends.]
└ Only Iwol would have 75% of his apology letter be about labor rights ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└└ I guess he really is healthy!
└ I didn’t expect Iwol’s apology to be more about raising awareness for heart disease than about himself. But I appreciate it. My family member died of heart disease recently. I wish I’d known more about it beforehand
└└ +2, I had a similar experience. Thank you for spreading awareness about this, Iwol
└└ +3
└└ +100
└ We love you too, Kim Iwol <3 !! SpArk wouldn't be the same without you.