Work Text:
A week before Valentine’s Day, Mogari shoved a flyer into Eugene’s face first thing in the morning, right before classes started. “Koreshiki, look!” he said.
Eugene had to lean away a little just so he could even read the thing. The flyer was advertising some restaurant’s promotional Valentine’s Day special. Couples who came in on Valentine’s Day would eat for the price of one.
Eugene had a sinking feeling that he already knew where this was heading. Maybe if he didn’t address it, then…
“Do you wanna go with me?”
Eugene should have been irritated by how oblivious this question was, but Mogari just so happened to be giving him the biggest, wettest eyes while he asked it. He was also leaning way too far into Eugene’s personal space and giving him heart palpitations in the process.
Eugene cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, pinching his face in a way that communicated vague exasperation. “Mogari, this is for couples only.”
Mogari deflated a little. “Yeah, but I thought…”
Eugene sighed. “Maybe. If I don’t have any other plans come up.”
“Yay!” Mogari instantly brightened. For a moment it seemed like he was about to go in for a hug — something Eugene was not prepared to handle right now — but the morning’s starting bell sent him back to his seat just in time.
Eugene folded the flyer left behind on his desk into a neat square and tucked it into his notebook for safekeeping. Part of him wanted to turn Mogari down, explain why, and set a firm boundary — but the other, larger part of him was fluttering in happiness. Mogari had asked him, after all, not one of their other friends, even if he didn’t mean anything by it. Even if it felt like Mogari was playing with his heart, sometimes, when Eugene knew that any implication of romance in their relationship had sailed over Mogari’s head long ago.
Sure, Eugene could play pretend for an hour and be Mogari’s boyfriend for the sake of a cheap meal. Better him than somebody else.
Eugene was getting really sick of this big stupid crush.
A week later, Valentine’s Day found Eugene exhausted. He had been inundated with a stream of chocolates, notes, and hopeful glances all day, and he had been obliged to be charming and friendly as he accepted all of them while also making sure his response was reserved and clear enough that he didn’t accidentally lead anybody on.
Honestly, he blamed the Phantom Busters for this whole situation. He wasn’t ignorant of the fact that he’d had some admirers in middle school, but he had been intimidating enough back then that he had never had to deal with this much attention before. Apparently, seeing him constantly getting clowned on by his friends also had the consequence of making him seem more approachable.
It was only halfway through the day and Eugene had already been forced to start a running list of people who he would have to get return gifts for on White Day. Just thinking about it sapped whatever little energy he had left. The only saving grace was that, despite Eugene doing his best to hide how tiresome he found the whole circus to be, he was pretty sure Mogari had noticed. He had very quickly started butting into conversations and dragging Eugene away from anybody who appeared to be approaching him with nefarious romantic intentions.
“What the hell happened to you two?” Zaki asked when the four of them met up during lunch.
“I just came out of war,” Mogari said, throwing himself onto a chair. He tore open one of the meat buns piled on his tray and stuffed it into his mouth with a haggard look on his face.
Eugene, in response, merely emptied his book bag onto the table.
“Woah!” Tamon said at the cascade of homemade chocolates and cookies that came pouring out.
“Nobody eat them,” Mogari said, baring his teeth at the cutesy pink and red pile. “They’re probably all poisoned!”
Zaki rolled his eyes and picked up a small bag of meringues. “God, you’re dramatic,” he muttered.
Eugene slumped into his chair, picking at his cafeteria lunch halfheartedly. "Club activities today, Mogari?” he mumbled.
“Huh? Oh, uh, no.”
“Thank god,” Eugene said. “I need to go home and have a nap.”
“All the sugar in this shit should wake you right up,” Zaki said, helping himself to a box of homemade chocolates.
“A Valentine-themed ghost girl would probably be pretty cute,” Tamon mused.
“Please do not fucking manifest that right now,” Zaki said.
It wasn’t until Eugene was comfortably settled in bed, glasses on his nightstand and his beloved teddy bear in his arms, that he remembered. “Oh, bollocks!” he shouted, shooting up in bed and banging his head.
“Yuu-chan!” his mother called from the other side of the house. “Are you alright?! Watch your language!”
“I’m fine!” he called back, collapsing back into bed to stare at his ceiling.
Eugene had feigned annoyance at the time, but apparently, some small secret part of him had been really looking forward to going on that fake date with Mogari. And he’d blown it.
He groaned, covering his face with his pillow to muffle the sound so his mother wouldn’t come and check on him, and then he rolled over and forced himself to go to sleep.
The Phantom Busters didn’t have plans for the weekend, but they met up on Saturday afternoon at Zaki’s place anyway to hang out. They played video games for a couple of hours and then walked over to the convenience store to buy snacks in lieu of lunch.
"Waaah!!” Mogari said, spinning around the place. “Everything’s so cheap!”
“Heh…” Zaki smirked off into the distance. “Discounted post-Valentine’s Day chocolate… poor saps…”
“That includes you, doesn’t it?” Eugene muttered. He wasn’t a huge sweet tooth, but he took a glance at the discount corner too. He stared at it, feeling uncharacteristically tragic.
Mogari had begun piling candy into his arms indiscriminately, showing an enthusiasm that seemed rather counter to his repulsion towards the pile of chocolates that Eugene had shared with group on Valentine’s Day itself. He had said something about poison, hadn’t he? Was it because of his weird family? Eugene tucked this bit of information into his “Mogari Mysteries” mental file and picked up a giant chocolate bar. He had to wrap both arms around it, it was so big.
“Holy shit!” Tamon said. “That thing is huge!”
“That’s what she said,” Zaki said.
Eugene wondered if Zaki was going through something. If so, Eugene could commiserate.
Mogari skipped to the checkout line, digging into his pocket to pull out a handful of bills and coins. Along with them spilled out his keys, a couple of pink seashells scavenged from the beach, and several crumpled up tissues. “Gyahh!”
“I got them,” Eugene said, handing the giant chocolate bar over to Tamon and leaning over to pick up the items off the floor. His eye twitched a little at the used tissues, but he picked them up anyway, walking over to the little trashcan in the corner of the store to deposit them. Maybe he should start carrying around hand sanitizer…
Eugene paused. Among the crumpled up tissues was a crumpled up piece of paper. It had his name on it.
“Koreshiki!” Mogari called from behind him. “Let’s go!”
“Coming,” Eugene said, and stuffed the note into his pocket.
For the next couple of hours, Eugene felt like the note was burning a hole in his pocket. He had never realized before just how difficult it was to get a moment alone when his friends were around.
Eugene kept debating with himself about the contents of the note. Most likely, it was nothing important. Mogari was constantly passing him notes in class, despite constantly getting in trouble for it, and they were usually inane nonsense. (Eugene had developed a terrible habit of keeping all of them, to the point that sometimes he was actually relieved that his friends weren’t allowed to visit his house.) It was probably something like that, and he’d gotten distracted and shoved it in his pocket before he could actually give it to Eugene. It was ridiculous for Eugene to be overthinking this and getting his hopes up for no reason. Obviously, the note was nothing.
“Dude, you good?” Tamon asked.
Eugene jolted out of his thoughts. “Nothing,” he said. “Uh, I’m fine. It’s nothing.”
“…Right,” Tamon said, looking unconvinced.
“Oh, would you look at the time,” Eugene said, standing up quickly.
“Huh?” Tamon swiveled his head. There was no clock in Zaki’s room. “Where?”
“It’s dark out,” Eugene said. He wasn’t even lying.
“It’s February,” Zaki said. “The sun sets at, like, 5:30 PM.”
Mogari put down the manga magazine that he’d been reading (to catch up on his education, Zaki had said) and sat up from where he had sprawled across the floor. “’Night, Koreshiki,” he said. “Hey, Zaki, lemme sleepover.”
“Fine,” Zaki said, like it was a big inconvenience for him. “But you have to watch the new JJK episodes with me.”
“No way!” Mogari said. “You always spoil stuff from the manga!”
“That was an accident, I won’t this time, I swear —”
“I probably have to go too,” Tamon said, standing up. “Bye, guys.”
“Bye Tamon, bye Koreshiki,” the two of them chorused. Tamon and Eugene stepped out at the same time.
“Hey, man,” Tamon said. “You sure you’re okay?”
It was chilly out. Eugene stuffed his hands in his pockets and bumped his fingers gently against the crumpled up little note. “Yeah,” he said. “Good night, Tamon.”
“See you Monday, Koreshiki,” Tamon said, and they parted ways.
On the train ride back home, Eugene pulled out the note. It was written in Mogari’s haphazard scrawl, on a torn piece of school notebook paper. Eugene smiled wryly as he smoothed it out carefully, like it was something precious, and finally read it.
It was a checklist, boldly titled in Mogari's thick handwriting.
SUPER ROMANTIC FOOLPROOF PLAN FOR CONFESSING TO KORESHIKI ON VALENTINES DAY
ask out on date
make chocolate
give chocolate
go to restaurant
confess feelings (?!?!?!?!)
start dating (!!!!!!!!!!)
The first two items were checked off in bright red pen — but that was all.
Eugene spent the rest of the train ride staring blankly out the window, reevaluating everything he had ever known or thought. This seemed to be a common occurrence for him when it came to Mogari. Had he been supposed to take Mogari seriously? Except Mogari hadn’t acted like it was a serious thing, when he’d asked Eugene to go with him to the restaurant, even if it had been a couples-only Valentine’s Day event. Then again, when did Mogari ever act serious, about anything? Even when he talked about his family, even when he was in serious danger, even when he had spent all night standing in the ocean, searching for Eugene’s key charm when they had barely known each other for a day. Whatever radar Eugene had that would have helped him delineate Mogari’s intentions between platonic and romantic had been scrambled from the very beginning, but Eugene still should have known better. He had just been so blinded by his own feelings that he hadn’t even been able to imagine they were reciprocated.
Mogari always did this to him — made him feel like he was just another dumb, immature teenager. Sometimes, Eugene thought that was part of what he liked about him.
At home, he ate dinner on autopilot with his mother and then holed himself up in his room. After thinking about it for a long time, he pulled out his phone and opened LINE.
Mogari, can we talk tomorrow?
At this point, it really was late. Despite that, Mogari pinged back a reply immediately.
???
Are you made at me
*mad
This was followed by an overdramatic crying sticker.
Eugene sighed. He really should have known better. Mogari always masked his true feelings with a layer of humor, like if he pretended that everything was a joke then the rest of the world would play along, and everything would turn out alright.
Most of the time, he was even right. Eugene didn’t have an explanation for that yet, either.
I’m not mad.
I feel bad that I forgot we were supposed to go out to eat yesterday.
So, can we meet up and talk?
Oh
Yea sure
The next morning, they met up at a park that was near both of their places. It was a frigid day, winter’s fingers holding on until the very last moments before February finally gave way to spring.
“Hey, Koreshiki,” Mogari said, tilting his head and grinning at Eugene toothily. He was dressed in minimum layers, as per usual. Something about Kamakura winters having nothing on the mountains in Akita. Still, the wind that nipped at him turned his nose and cheeks pink, his red eyes sparkling under the bright February sun.
Eugene’s heart hammered in his chest. “Hey,” he said. He smiled, a pleasant and neutral smile, that hopefully betrayed none of his complicated and messy feelings. “Want to grab something to eat?”
“Yeah, I’m starved!” Mogari said. They walked over to the food stall at the edge of the park, ordered sandwiches, and sat on the nearby bench to eat. Mogari prattled on about the anime he and Zaki had watched last night, and Eugene hummed along in agreement at the right times. Finally, when they’d just about finished their food and Eugene didn’t feel so off anymore, he figured it was time to bring it up.
“Mogari,” he started. “I really am sorry for forgetting about dinner on Valentine’s day.”
“Psh,” Mogari said. “It’s no big deal. I know you were tired.”
“No,” Eugene said. “That’s no excuse. And I’m also sorry for not considering your feelings.”
Mogari was quiet for a long moment. “My… feelings,” he finally said, voice uncharacteristically flat.
Eugene cleared his throat, feeling incredibly sweaty all of a sudden, despite the cool weather. This was harder than he had thought it would be, and he was in the rare position of being very confident regarding the sort of response that he would get. He was suddenly gaining a new sense of appreciation for all the people who had shot their shot and confessed to him in the past. “Yes,” he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the piece of note paper he had picked up yesterday. “I understand now that —”
His carefully planned speech, which would start with his acknowledgment of Mogari’s feelings, confirm his own feelings, and then end with a proposal that they start properly dating, was abruptly interrupted. Mogari snatched the note out of his hands, ripped it in half, and then stuffed the pieces in his mouth and swallowed.
Eugene’s own mouth dropped open. “Wha —”
Mogari bounced to his feet, a strangely large and twitchy smile frozen onto his face. “What feelings? I don’t know anything about any feelings. Or any weird, suspicious, super-embarrassing pieces of papers.”
“W-wait —” Eugene stammered out.
“And anyway!” Mogari continued. “I was talking to Zaki, you know, and he said that Valentine’s Day is really just a consumerist slop holiday that only exists to crank money out of people in relationships and make single people feel bad. And that’s without even getting into the whole social obligation part of it. I mean, isn’t that just the worst?! I think we should all protest Valentine’s Day and never celebrate it or talk about it or think about it ever again, and —”
“Mogari!” Eugene finally burst out.
Mogari seemed to wilt in front of him. “… Yeah?” he mumbled.
“Can you let me finish what I was saying, please?”
“… ‘Kay.”
“As I was saying… I understand now that you were serious when you were asking me to go out with you, and I wanted to make it clear that I reciprocate your feelings. I propose that we try going out on a date, and consider entering a romantic relationship.”
… That had come out a lot stiffer than Eugene had thought it would.
Mogari had an uncomfortable, tight look on his face. He squirmed in place for a moment and then said, “No. I don’t think so.”
“… No?”
Mogari flapped his hand in front of his face, as if to shoo Eugene away. “D-don’t get me wrong, Koreshiki, I do really like ya’! I just don’t think it would work out! I was actually really relieved when you forgot! So, like, don’t feel bad about the whole thing! Actually, would you mind just forgetting again?!”
Eugene spluttered for a moment. “I can’t just forget — no, go back, why do you think it wouldn’t work out?!”
“It just doesn’t make any sense, y’know?” Mogari blustered. “I mean, you’re you and I’m me!”
Eugene pressed his lips into a thin line. “What do you mean by that?” he said. It sounded too much like the stuff other people said — people like his mother, who thought they knew what was best for him without any actual consideration of him as a person. “We’re already best friends, aren’t we?”
“Well, yeah,” Mogari said. “Of course.” His eyes dropped to stare at the ground. “It’s just… losing friends hurts, y’know?” A distant look stole over his face. “And if we were more than friends, then wouldn’t it hurt even more?”
Eugene swallowed roughly. He thought he understood what Mogari meant. Despite Mogari’s best efforts, the specter of the Shishikuno family always seemed to loom over him, haunting him at every turn even as he worked to reclaim his own life back from them.
Eugene just couldn’t believe that Mogari would let them win. The very idea rankled against him. Maybe he had been right from the very beginning and Mogari really was just playing with his heart, because surely this wasn’t the same boy who was always talking about embracing their youths, who was ready to jump into the line of fire to protect his friends at the slightest hint of danger, who had fought for Eugene against the judgments of others…
Mogari’s eyes lifted to meet his, bright cherry like the boiled sweets from Eugene’s childhood. “I don’t want to break up with you, Koreshiki,” he said, painfully sincere.
“It’s kind of hard to break up with someone that you’ve never been with,” Eugene pointed out.
“Exactly!” Mogari beamed at him, as if they had come to some sort of agreement.
Eugene could almost follow Mogari’s logic, even though it stung at him. “Why did you change your mind?” he asked. “About confessing to me?”
Mogari chewed at his lip. “All day I saw all those different people who liked you, and I realized… it’s so much easier for them, and it could be easy for you too, and it’s selfish of me to get in the way of that.” His brow furrowed. “But I still kept getting jealous and pulling you away.” He gave Eugene a guilty look. “I’m sorry.”
Eugene sighed. “I wouldn’t have accepted anybody else’s confessions anyway,” he said. “Mogari, I already chose you, a long time ago.” He couldn’t say it had been love at first sight, but it had certainly been close enough. Well, that or the suspension bridge effect kicking in when Mogari had nearly gotten them both drowned by a vengeful samurai ghost. At this point, the details were irrelevant. “No matter what happens now — if we start dating or stay friends or never speak to each other again — that fact isn’t going to change. It’ll hurt me just the same. Isn’t it the same for you?”
Mogari grimaced, fangs flashing like warning signs. “Yeah,” he said roughly. “But I don’t want to hurt you, Koreshiki, and I can’t promise that I never will.” The fact that he already had went unspoken, but Eugene couldn’t bear to think about how it felt to constantly have Mogari at risk from being stolen from him when Mogari was standing right in front of him.
“I know,” Eugene said, reaching out to take Mogari’s hand in his own, hating that irrational part of himself that needed to prove Mogari was really there with him. Mogari was so typically touchy-feely that Eugene couldn’t think of the last time he’d had to initiate touch between them, and it made something swoop low in his stomach, vertigo under his feet. “I’m not asking you to promise that. That’s not how relationships work, anyway. All I’m asking is…”
Mogari peeked at him and Eugene mustered up his courage again, for real this time. So often in their relationship it felt like Mogari was the one pulling him along, the moon pulling at the ocean’s tides, and Eugene was helpless to do anything but go along for the ride.
“Do you want to go on a date with me, sweetheart?”
Mogari’s face turned red so fast that Eugene was almost afraid he would pass out.
“Uhh,” he mumbled something.
“I didn’t catch that.”
“Yes! Yeah, I want to! I really, really want to!”
Eugene couldn’t have stopped the smile that spread across his face even if he had tried. “Good,” he said.
Mogari stared at him for a long moment, and then, without warning, leapt at him. “Woah!” Eugene said, stumbling back a little as suddenly found himself with an armful of Mogari.
“I did it,” Mogari mumbled, poking his nose into Eugene’s face and puckering his lips like he was psyching himself up to plant a kiss on Eugene’s cheek. “I gotchu… Hehehe…”
Eugene tightened his arms around Mogari’s shoulders, like if he could just hold on for right now that it meant he wouldn’t have to let go later. “You sure did, sweetheart,” he said, and then, after a pause, figured he would ask.
“What happened to the chocolates you made me, by the way?” Regardless of how many other sweets he had been bombarded with over the course of the holiday already, the question had been bothering him ever since he’d seen Mogari’s list. Was it so wrong that he kind of really wanted those chocolates in particular?
Mogari, whose blush had finally begun to die down, turned bright red again. He pulled away and fidgeted for a moment. “I ate them,” he finally said.
“You… ate them.” Eugene didn't know why he was surprised.
“Yeah.”
“… Why?”
“I was on my way to school and it was Valentine’s Day and I was really stressed and it just happened!” Mogari looked genuinely distressed.
Eugene couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing. Mogari was so weird sometimes, so funny without even meaning to be, and sometimes it just snuck up on Eugene like this, a delirious and unfamiliar joy.
Mogari was a shade of red that looked permanent, but at the sound of Eugene’s laughter, he smiled too. It was uncharacteristically shy, but tender. Hopeful.