Work Text:
It just was another stellar cycle of licking his wounds for Starscream. For a flier, that was quite literal.
He didn’t want to get used to it, getting walloped by the Autobots, but when the humiliating losses were stacking up, it was hard not to embrace the losing mindset. It was harder still when the Decepticons had to deal with Megatron’s lousy leadership, if Starscream could even call what Megatron was doing ‘leadership’.
They lost the Minicon, what else was new?
Starscream had already copped his unfair share of chewing out that night, complete with all the blame shifting and goalpost moving and occasional offensive anti-flier rhetoric he had grown familiar with over the millennia. Despite it all, Megatron still had the audacity to feign respect for Starscream. What a farce.
It could’ve been worse, at least. Starscream lounged around in his berth, meticulously preening and buffing out his filthy coat with a spiny tongue. Maybe a little obsessively, but he needed something to occupy himself with. The living quarters he claimed didn’t have a window originally, but there was a rather sizable hole in the hull to make up for it. It overlooked a plateau on the moon’s surface, where Megatron seemed to be taking out his anger physically against Demolishor. Starscream perched himself on the edge of his quarters, wrapped his tail around his hindpaws, nibbled at his claws, and watched.
At times like these, when Megatron was chasing Demolishor around like he was herding hydroweasels, Starscream wondered how he was ever charmed by him in the first place.
“Starscream!”
With grace befitting a helicopter on a moon with functionally no air, Cyclonus landed next to him, unusually chipper for a mech who just got yelled at for half a mega-cycle.
While he was no seeker, Cyclonus was a flier just like he was, a fellow he should’ve been grateful to have when he was surrounded by two-legged grounders who, even after millions of years, still had to do mental aerobatics to see the four-legged Cybertronians as Transformers too.
But Cyclonus was insane. Stupid, too. So much for subverting stereotypes about helicopters.
“Cyclonus,” Starscream addressed him politely, but didn’t turn to meet him. “What do you want?”
“Nothin’,” he lied. He flopped onto his belly besides Starscream, rotor blades pinned flat against his back. His vents took in a long intake before he deflated with an even longer sigh.
“This really bites.”
Even an idiot like Cyclonus could be right sometimes. Starscream kept inspecting his claws in a bid to look anywhere else but him. “I know.”
“It ain't fair!” Cyclonus griped. “I really risked my rump out there this time!”
“Mmhm.”
“And what do I get? I get blamed for something I wasn’t even there for!” Cyclonus gestured wildly with his paws. “I-he-I, I mean, how was I supposed to deal with Smokescreen and Red Alert if they’re on two different islands?! I ain’t a miracle worker! It’s his fault he turned his back on Optimus anyway.”
That sounded like Megatron. It didn’t make it any less refreshing to hear Cyclonus speak a surprising amount of sense. Exasperation was a rare thing for the eccentric helicopter to feel.
Pressing the brim of his helm against the cold floor, Cyclonus found himself laughing hollowly. Starscream chuckled a little too, but there was no mirth to be found in it.
“And he cut our rations for a deca-cycle,” Cyclonus added, just to rub salt in the wound. “Hahaha…”
“I wish you hadn’t reminded me,” Starscream said, slumping forward. They were already running on empty more often than not.
“Ouhh, I think I might die if I don’t get my teeth around some real food soon,” Cyclonus groaned. “It’s been so long, I’d eat a rancid retrorat…”
Starscream would’ve poked fun at Cyclonus, but his fuel tanks grumbled at the mere thought of a long dead carcass. He dug his claws into the floor and ran his tongue over his fangs.
“What are we gonna do? I swear, my coat’s gonna turn white before we even get back to Cybertron.”
“What else can we do? We were slagged from the very beginning of this mess,” Starscream answered. He stood up and padded back and forth, tail whipping side to side. “We were foolish to bring just the four of us on this expedition.”
“Heh, yeah, here I thought we would’ve been in and out in just one orbital cycle.”
Starscream narrowed his optics. “When has it ever been that easy? Everyone knows these Minicons possess incredible power. Of course the Autobots would follow us here the nano-klik they caught wind of this. It doesn’t matter what we do, or how good we think we are, they have the numbers on us.” He sat down and paused to breathe before he could work himself up too hard. “There’s no way around it. Megatron is a poor leader.”
Cyclonus jolted up and onto his four paws and whipped around to face him at that, rotor blades flaring. “Hey–”
Not to be intimidated easily, Starscream did the same, even if Cyclonus was still a little larger than he was. “Are you really going to defend him after all this?! He fails over and over and, without exception, he puts the onus on us instead of doing any real self reflection!” he cut in. “We have no morale around here! He’s a miserable mech and he makes it our problem!”
Cyclonus opened his mouth to respond, but in a once in a lifetime moment, he didn’t say anything. He set his jaw and looked aside, as though the answer was in the corner of his optic.
“Hm. Well, I guess we’d get more done if he wasn’t yelling at us all the time,” he said. “There’s gotta be something we could do to regain his favor.”
“Anything short of finding every single Minicon on that dirt ball and killing Optimus Prime won’t cut it. He’s so blinded by ambition he couldn’t even see his own servo in front of his face,” Starscream deadpanned. Cyclonus groaned and scrunched his face as he desperately tried to piece together a thought.
“Ouhhh, I don’t know! You’re supposed to be the smart one, Screamer.”
“Not a hard bar to clear.”
Cyclonus decided to ignore that jab. “So why don’t you talk to him?”
Starscream scoffed. “You seriously think I haven’t tried in the past few hundred thousand years?”
“Have you tried being nice about it?”
“I’ve tried it.”
“Okay, okay, then...” Cyclonus tried searching for other solutions, pressing the heel of his paw against the bridge of his snout. “Why don’t you just…”
Starscream cocked a brow. “Don’t I just what?”
“Oh, you know… flutter your wings and make his day? You know he has a soft spot for you.”
Starscream stepped back. “You’re insane.”
“Yes, but I’m right! I’ll bet you a little tail could do him so good, and out of the three of us here, I think he prefers your tail the most.”
“That’s the most ridiculous–!”
Realising his faceplates were heating up, Starscream shook his head and composed himself, cycling his fans. “What makes you think I’d want to do that, anyway?!”
“Aw, c’mon! Help a brother out!”
“We are not brothers, idiot. You really think Megatron is that simple?!”
Cyclonus smiled awkwardly. “...Yeah, kind of?”
Starscream shook his head, harrumphed, and turned, skulking away into the labyrinthian halls of the Exodus. To his chagrin, Cyclonus followed suit.
“Look, all we can do is hope our luck changes for once,” Starscream said, as obvious as it sounded, “so let’s just do our pathetic best until the backup Megatron promised us actually arrives.” They stopped in the main warroom, where a hologram of the Earth rotated on a round holotable. “And I’m gonna do that without humiliating myself.”
“Puh-lease. As if we don’t already humiliate ourselves plenty these days.”
Starscream growled and figured he wouldn’t entertain him with a reply. He reared upright onto his hind legs and rested his forelimbs on the holodesk, watching the holographic Earth spin. Small red triangles denoted where they had detected Minicons in the past, dotted all over the continents, and sometimes, in the oceans. There was no real rhyme or reason to where they happened to appear.
Cyclonus scooted over. “So what’s the move, Screamer?”
“There is no move.” Starscream hissed, “I’m just… looking.”
He could look all he wanted, but nothing would come of it. Starscream just wanted something to pass the time, and the only other entertainment to be found on the ship was watching Megatron terrorise Demolishor.
Earth was about the same size as Cybertron, but the sheer variety of different ecosystems put their home planet to shame. Green was a rare colour on Cybertron. In fact, Vos was one of the last bastions of it. As if he could get any more homesick.
But the fact of the matter was that he was here, on some filthy moon, getting lunar dust in places he’d rather not be cognisant of. He couldn’t even visit the Earth’s surface without Autobots swarming him. Starscream glared at Cyclonus, who was still sitting there and staring at him with that dumb, amicable smile on his face.
“Don’t you have anything better to do?”
The helicopter shrugged. “Do you?”
It was shaping up to be a long night.
It’d been about two weeks since a Minicon signal was detected.
It was a nice break from the chaos that was the Autobot-Decepticon war that Alexis and her best friends got caught up in. Finally, she could sit down and focus on getting some overdue schoolwork done. Just getting special consideration for her late assessments was hard enough– she couldn’t exactly admit she was in cahoots with a race of alien robots that could turn into cars, amongst other things, and were entangled in a several million year old war.
But she wasn’t in her bedroom studying today. It was a pleasant autumn Saturday, and Rad decided to drag her and Carlos all the way out into some remote stretch of untouched prairie in the Sandhills. For some reason, he insisted they bring their Minicon partners.
She very well could be doing something productive with the rare free time, but she had no one but herself to blame but herself. She could’ve just told Rad and Carlos ‘no’, but she didn’t. Maybe a little fresh air was good for her, anyway.
“What exactly do you two think you’re doing?” Alexis said, arms crossed as she eyed the football Rad had procured from his backpack.
“Well, the Minicons have been here for a while, and I thought, you know, it’d be fun to teach them a little Earth culture!” Rad held up the football like it was some ancient artifact. Their three Minicons; Grindor, Sureshock, and Highwire, all crowded around him to inspect the ball closely. They looked at each other and chirped a chorus of clear mechanical trills. “Watch and learn, because you’re about to get enlightened, Minicons. Carlos!”
“Yeah?” Carlos had been busy rifling through his own things when Rad called him up. Rad pointed out into the wide, empty stretch of land and adjusted the ball in his grip.
“Go deep!”
“Yeah, alright!”
Carlos took off in a straight line, slowly deviating to the right after a few yards. Rad stepped back, set his feet, and launched the ball through the air where it landed squarely in Carlos’ chest. Carlos took the ball and ran further away until he decided he was probably where an endzone would be, dropping the ball and jumping in place.
“You see, this is what we humans call ‘American Football’,” Rad explained while Carlos jogged back to meet them. He found a stick nearby and knelt down, drawing a rectangle into the sand and crossing a few lines through it.
“There’s two teams. The main goal is to get the ball–” he took it from Carlos and handed it to High Wire, who carefully looked it over, “into this rectangle, called the endzone. That’s called a touchdown, and it gives you six points. Seven if you kick the ball into the uprights–” he drew two prongs at either side of the rectangle. “You’re given four goes at advancing the ball ten yards. You can either run with it, or you can pass it, but the other team will try to stop you. If you’ve exhausted all your tries, you have to give it to the other team, but if you make the ten yards, you’re given another four goes until you get to the endzone. Got that?”
The three Minicons exchanged glances before looking back at Rad and nodding.
“Sweet. Why don’t you try it, High Wire? You can be the quarterback, that means you’re the one who throws it or passes it to a runner. Or you could run it in yourself,” Rad handed him the ball. High Wire took it carefully and looked it over. “Uh, we don’t have a proper field so-” he looked around. “Pretend that rock over there is where the endzone is. Grindor, you can be the receiver, like Carlos just then. Sureshock, you can play defence, try to stop Grindor from catching it.”
He continued explaining, but the rigamarole of the game’s rules went through one of Alexis’ ears and out the other. She put her hands on her hips.
“You realise I’m not gonna be responsible for the first ever recorded concussion in Minicon history.”
“Aw, relax, Alexis, they’ve been beat up way worse out there and they turn out fine!” Carlos assured her. Alexis breathed out hard through her nose.
“Yeah, and maybe that’s why the Transformers fight all the time.”
“C’mon, they’ll be responsible,” Rad said. He looked at the three Minicon’s for back up, and they happily beeped an affirmative in response. “See? Now, since you’re just starting, Grindor, just run straight ahead. This is called a ‘go’ or ‘fade’ route.” He drew a line in the sand down the rectangle he drew prior. “Alright, promise me you won’t be too rough with each other. Now go and try it out.”
Rad motioned for his human friends to step back and give his Minicon friends some space. They lined up neatly, Grindor and High Wire side-by-side, and Sureshock standing further back from an imaginary line of scrimmage. Grindor and High Wire chirped to each other, and then, after a loud beep, High Wire stepped back and Grindor sprinted forward, Sureshock manning up on him the entire time. Once they were far enough away, High Wire planted his feet and hurled the ball through the air, where Grindor leaped to haul it in, tumbling to the ground a handful of yards short of their imaginary endzone.
“Aw yeah! Nice work, Grindor!” Carlos cheered from the sidelines. “Check it out, Alexis, Grindor’s totally gonna be the next great Cornhusker!”
“They sure could use the help,” Alexis said under her breath, walking alongside Rad and Carlos to where the Minicons were standing. “Rad, did you seriously bring us all the way out here just to play catch with the Minicons?”
Rad shrugged with open palms. “I thought maybe they’d wanna have a little bit of fun out here, not cooped up in the Autobot base all day,” he said, watching the Minicons line up again. “This is just the only place I could think of where no one could find us.”
High Wire dropped back again, and Grindor and Sureshock ran deeper into the prairie. High Wire threw the ball square into Grindor’s chest, but Sureshock tackled him to the ground before he could make any further distance. Second and inches. Alexis felt an iota of pride, but she wouldn’t tell.
“There’s plenty of fun to be had in the Autobot base,” she retorted. Carlos snorted a laugh.
“What, with Red Alert?” he asked facetiously. “When was the last time we hung out together, like, just us? No Autobots or nothin’?”
Alexis thought about it. “Touché.”
The Minicons lined up again. Alexis looked up at the deep blue sky where fluffy white clouds drifting along slowly overhead.
“Say, are you sure we’re safe out here?” Alexis wondered aloud. “What if someone flies over us?”
Rad waved her concerns away. “They wouldn’t see us from that far up,” he said. High Wire tried running the ball in himself, but Sureshock stuffed him for a loss. “This place gets no air traffic, anyway. I checked with my dad.”
“That’s nice, but what about the Decepticons?” Alexis probed further. Carlos crossed his arms behind his head.
“What about them?”
“What if they swoop down and steal our friends? We never told the Autobots where we were going with the Minicons,” Alexis said. “Then we’re up the proverbial creek, if you know what I mean.”
“Chill out, Alexis. They probably don’t know or care that we’re even here right now. Besides, I’m pretty sure they only show up when a new Minicon panel appears,” Carlos said, nonchalant as ever.
Rad procured Laserbeak in small orange camera form from his pocket. “And the Autobots are just a call away. We’ll be fine.”
That was true, but even if they called them, help wouldn’t be immediate. They would be on their own. “Guess I’ll just have to trust you guys.”
Carlos laughed. “Jeez, you hang out with Red Alert too much. Just enjoy the moment, dude.”
With one last down left in the drive and not content with a field goal, High Wire fell back, airing the ball out to Grindor in the corner of the fake endzone in a perfect spiral. The boys erupted in cheer and rushed over to shower the three Minicons with exorbitant praise. Alexis patted Sureshock on her shoulder.
“Hey, you did pretty good. Held them to fourth and a couple.”
That earned a gentle but forlorn series of beeps. Rad gathered the three Minicons together and retrieved the ball from Grindor. “Alright, so when you score like that, that’s six points. Then we kick for another point for seven total.” He ran over to draw two points in the sand, presumably where goal posts would be. “Carlos, if you could do the honours…”
Carlos nodded, walked over in front of the invisible goalposts and kneeled down, propping the ball up in his hands.
“Alexis, you’re the best at this. You show them how to kick the PAT.” Rad offered.
For once, they weren’t wrong. She’d been the kicker for their school’s team since, well, forever.
“Oh, whatever. Sure.”
While Rad ran over to stand in the middle of the goalposts, Alexis lined up with the ball, took a few steps back and to the left, then ran up and wound up a kick that would send the ball straight through where the uprights would be.
Carlos jumped to his feet as Rad went to retrieve their ball. “Aw yeah! You’re the best, Alexis!”
And she would’ve said thanks, had it not been for the all-too-familiar scream of a fighter jet roaring past them.
Starscream and Cyclonus were the first on the scene when the Minicon detection alarm sounded.
They rushed into the warroom, where a new triangle had appeared on the hologram Earth, flashing red and white. Starscream and Cyclonus almost ran into each other as they arrived before the holodesk.
“Ugh! Watch it, flea-brain!” Starscream snarled, slapping Cyclonus away with a whip of his tail.
“You watch it, soft-paws!”
They took a moment to stupidly growl at one another to exhaust all their frustration, before returning their focus to the task at hand. They stood up on their hind legs to get a better look at the signal and all the data their detection algorithm had gleaned. The signal appeared in the middle of Continent II.a, or what the native organic two-legs seemed to call North America.
“Here I thought we’d never see another one show up,” Cyclonus said. “Where is it?”
Starscream zoomed in on the signal’s approximate location, taking into account any prior signals that had been detected nearby. “It’s around where the first Minicon signal was detected,” Starscream said, already priming their warpgate with the relevant coordinates from their past missions there. “How convenient.”
“When did the alarm go off?” Cyclonus asked. He had been asleep, as per usual, when the siren sounded. For some reason, he had asked Starscream to grab him and not the others the next time a Minicon signal was detected a few solar-cycles back.
“Just then. It was only a cycle before I came to get you.”
“Then we gotta go, Screamer! C’mon, before the Autobots are on it!”
Cyclonus bounded over to the warpgate platform. Starscream shot him a sour look from behind the holodesk.
“What about Megatron? Demolishor? Where are they?”
“Outside? Who gives a zap-mouse’s tail where they are? Listen, I got an idea to win Megatron back over to our good side. Turn off the alarm.”
While he was skeptical, Starscream muted it.
“Just hear me out, okay? Why don’t we get the Minicon all by ourselves, like, just get in there quick and get out as soon as we can. Then Megatron will have no choice but to give us our due,” Cyclonus explained. “And if we don’t get it, well, Megatron never knew about the signal, so we can just say it was a false alarm! You know what I mean?”
It seemed a little preposterous, and maybe it was foolish to trust Cyclonus’ problem solving skills, but it seemed… feasible enough. Starscream checked the air for any signs of Megatron’s scent, but he must’ve still been too far away to hear the alarm. He sighed. What was the worst that could happen?
“What about our Minicons?” Starscream asked, padding up the warpgate platform to stand beside Cyclonus. “They’re working in the engine room. Shouldn’t we get them?”
"That’ll just waste time! Don't worry your pretty little head about it. We won't even have the two-leg wheelers to slow us down. We’ll be in and out before you can even say ‘wait’!”
“Wait–”
True to his word, Cyclonus activated the warp drive before Starscream could get a say in. Their atoms were ripped and dragged over 384 thousand kliks over space and time and deposited unceremoniously on a rocky mesa overlooking vast stretches of dunes and prairie.
“What were you saying?” Cyclonus asked with a sheepish grin.
“Nevermind,” Starscream growled. He reared up and tasted the air, finding it crisp and clean, but unremarkable. “I can’t smell any trace of Autobot stench. We must be the first ones here.”
“Oh goodie! Transform!”
Cyclonus leaped off the mesa and transformed mid-air, the helicopter turning to face Starscream.
“Then I’m gonna be the one to hand it over to the boss-bot! He’s gonna kiss my empennage!”
“Hah! Wanna bet?!”
Starscream galloped forward and jumped alongside him, transforming and racing away, while Cyclonus went in the other direction. Without much of a plan to go by, all he could think to do was fly low and scan his surroundings for any sign of the Minicon. Or, may Azliah forbid, any sign of Autobot activity.
The land was dry and covered in rolling, grassed over sand dunes and prairies. It made for good flying, his route was only ever interrupted by buttes and mesas and the occasional pesky thin tower the native two-legs built. Perhaps the land was no good for the organic Earthers, because there were no two-leg dens, nor farm-places for a great many soar-lengths. There was a winding road bisecting the great expanse, but there were roads everywhere for the poor ground-bound things.
“Found anything yet?” came Cyclonus on his comms.
“Hardly,” he replied. “I’m coming to the edge of the signal’s range. I’m gonna turn back.”
He banked around and returned where he came from, giving the land a second lookover just in case he missed something. “Good, because I think I’m getting a signal.” Cyclonus paused for a beat. “What if it’s underground?”
“Then maybe we’ll drag Demolishor down,” Starscream half-answered. “I’ll be with you in a moment.”
He sped back to where Cyclonus was, who had covered a little less ground than he had. The seeker slowed down to keep pace.
“Have you calculated its location yet? I can go ahead and check,” he said. Cyclonus laughed.
“You think I’m smart enough to do that? I’m just following what the detector’s telling me,” Cyclonus answered, unhelpfully. “Just… trust the process!”
“Believe me, I’m doing a lot of trusting right now.”
It wasn’t all too bad. The air was cool and dry, perfect conditions for his wings and coat. The great expanse reminded him of The Great Moor back on Vos that surrounded the capital city of Centurion. The moor was greener though, with lush fields of verdant solar-heather and enough prey lurking in the underbrush that there was no flier who would go hungry flying over Centurion. Starscream’s empty stomach lurched at the thought. He hoped Megatron would rescind their ration cuts if they succeeded.
They were cruising along until he noticed three familiar bio-signatures in the corner of his vision. Three native two-leg sparklings, or whatever they were called, and more importantly, their three Minicons. Not the ones they were after, but Minicons nonetheless. He made a hard pivot to check again, only to come up with the same conclusion.
Cyclonus stopped and hovered in place. “What is it?”
“It's the Autobot’s Earther pets. Their Minicons too. They’re over there.” He pointed his nosecone in their general direction. “But the Autobots aren’t.”
The helicopter looked around before locking onto the six targets in question. They were standing around in a small flat clearing, throwing something between one another for no discernable reason. Maybe they were playing.
“No kidding! I’m going in!”
“What?! Hey–”
Cyclonus transformed back into quadruped mode and landed hard, towering over the little two-legs. Starscream tsked and followed him to the ground, transforming alongside him.
“Well, well, lookie what we have here! Optimus’ little cheer squad!” Cyclonus taunted, slowly stalking forward with his head low. “Where are your Autobot bodyguards? You know you’re easy pickings out here in the open.”
Starscream padded forward and motioned Cyclonus back with his tail. “Enough. Where are the Autobots?”
They didn’t reply. Starscream double-checked if his universal translator was set to Earth English.
“Okay, let me try again,” Starscream said, a little more firmly this time. “Where are the Autobots and what do you know about the Minicon detected nearby?”
Now they responded. But they responded with a chorus of screams before scrambling away, fleeing on their Minicon’s alt modes. Cyclonus pursed his lips.
“Tough crowd.”
“Tch. We should probably follow them and make sure they don’t send out an SOS,” Starscream said, trotting off to pursue them.
“Should we kill ‘em?” Cyclonus asked.
“What’s the point of that? I’ll find a use for them.”
“Ugh! You’re such a goody-four-paws.”
The Minicons were surprisingly fast for what they were, and the two fliers had to pick up the pace until they were galloping across the plains.
“Hey, they’re running towards the signal!” Cyclonus noticed, pointing his snout in the direction of the young Earthers. “Near that plateau! The detector says we’re getting warmer.”
“I see it. How serendipitous.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t worry about it."
“Well, whatever. I think they’re leading us straight to it,” Cyclonus said. “Can you see the Minicon panel yet?”
“If you can’t, what makes you think I can?” Starscream snapped. They were getting a little too close to the sheer face of the plateau for comfort now.
The little Earthers didn’t slow down even as they approached certain obliteration by way of a rock wall. The tallest, a male with a dusty brown helm, pointed at the cliff face.
“C’mon guys! In there!” the Earther squeaked. On his command, they swerved into the mouth of a small cave, far too small for either Decepticon to even fit their helm through. The two fliers skidded to a halt before they could smash head first into the solid cliffside.
“Great! We should’ve just squished them while we could,” Cyclonus snarled. Ignoring him, Starscream shouldered him aside, crouched down and looked through the small opening. It led to a cave with a high ceiling, where he could see the faint glow of a Minicon panel high up above a steep rock pile. The humans and their Minicons were hugging the cave wall and squeaking amongst themselves, but Starscream wasn’t interested in deciphering it. They weren’t talking to the Autobots, and that’s what mattered.
“It's in there, the Minicon. Above the ledge.”
“It is? Outta the way, lemme see!”
Cyclonus shoved him away and had a look for himself. “Damn. It’s really in there, isn’t it?”
He reached his front leg in and tried to blindly feel around, but he was far too large to manoeuvre meaningfully. All he had achieved was jostling around some dirt and rocks, which tumbled down on his helm. He grit his teeth and carefully withdrew.
“Urgh! You try, you’re tiny.”
“Shut up.” Starscream padded over to the opening and tried his luck reaching in, but the tiny opening offered practically zero range of motion. He growled and pulled his paw free, shaking off the reddish dust. He drew his wing blade from his back and tried to fish around the cave opening, but that did as much good as nothing.
“It’s no use,” Starscream concluded, reattaching his wing blade back to its joint. It took Cyclonus a hot cycle to think of his next move, but when he managed to figure something out, his lips curled into a toothy smirk.
“Then we’ll just blow this thing up!”
His cannons charged up with a whine, but Starscream pounced and knocked him down before he could try anything. “No we won’t, you idiot! Didn’t you see how loose this rock is? If you shoot it, it’ll all come down. Then we’ll have to waste time picking through the rubble. Time we don’t have!”
“Then– then we’ll just send in the Minicons!”
“We don’t have the Minicons, blockhead!” He let him go. “We left them back at the base!”
“Oh yeah. So… what do we do?”
Starscream looked back at the small opening and hummed inquisitively. Going back and getting the Minicons would eat up too much time. There was one thing he could try here and now.
He crouched down to look into the cave, where the small Earthers were still discussing amongst themselves. He cleared his throat to garner their attention.
“Excuse me, little two-leg Earthers,” he called, and they went silent. Pale, too. “You haven’t contacted the Autobots yet, have you?”
The short male with a tan coat shook his head. “N-no–”
“Well, don’t, or I’ll let Cyclonus blow this cliff up and you’ll be as good as vulturoid fodder. Understand?”
The Earther swallowed nervously. “Y-yes, Starscream-sir.”
“Good. Now, there’s a Minicon panel above you. If you know what’s good for you, I would arrange for one of you to retrieve it and deliver it to us. Then we will leave without incident.”
The Earthers looked at each other.
“Can we take five?” The tall male asked.
Starscream rolled his optics, but he nodded. They huddled together to whisper, as if a seeker’s hearing wasn’t good enough to make it out anyway. He’d allow them the illusion of secrecy, if only to keep them open to the idea of helping the Decepticons out. They broke away, and the taller male stepped forward.
“And what will you do if we don’t?”
Starscream chuckled. “Then feel free to come on out, and we’ll do with you what we see fit,” he answered. The young Earther scowled.
“If you think we’ll help you people, you’re dead wrong. Once Optimus finds us, you’re toast, you overgrown pussy-cat freak!”
Of course. Nothing was ever easy. He closed his optics slowly and sighed, exasperation leaving his frame like contrails off a turbine. “If Optimus finds us. We have a signal jammer up–” they didn’t, but there was no harm in a little white lie, “so you’re practically invisible to them. You’ll get hungry eventually, won’t you? We’ll be here all solar-cycle. Make your choice, little Earther.”
The tall male didn’t reply, but his frown deepened. It was cute that he thought he could intimidate them. Starscream stood back up and turned to Cyclonus.
“They aren’t particularly cooperative,” Starscream said.
“Hah! Looks like all two-legs are the same after all.”
“Sure, I guess. They are young, however,” Starscream noted, “they may be easily moved if given the right motivation. Cyclonus, if you would be so kind, go and find me one of those little two-legs and bring it back to me. And make sure it’s completely unscathed and alive when you bring it here.”
Cyclonus perked up, rotor blades flaring. “I’m on it! I’ll be back before you know it!”
He ran off and transformed, flying away into the distance. He could only hope he’d come back before the Autobots caught wind of it all.
“See, I thought this would happen,” Alexis said. “Something like this always happens.”
They were playing catch one second, and in the other, they were stuck in a cave, negotiating with evil Decepticon killing machines. Just another day in the life.
“There’s gotta be another way out of here,” Carlos bemoaned, looking back and forth frantically. Rad came walking back after having spoken to Starscream rather unsuccessfully.
“There isn’t, I checked,” Rad sounded pretty sour. It was unlike him to be riled up. “They want us to fetch them the Minicon up there.”
Carlos scratched his head. “Should we… should we get it?”
“Well, I told them I wouldn't give it up,” Rad said. Carlos groaned.
“Ugh, those things are probably gonna eat us! It’s just one Minicon…”
“It might just be one Minicon, but it could be the difference between the Autobots and Decepticons winning. What if it's like… a super powerful Minicon?”
Alexis glanced at the Minicon up on the rock ledge. Somehow, she doubted it. “We should probably go and get it… just in case.”
The six of them looked up at it and stood in contemplative silence for a beat. Rad breathed out sharply. “I guess we should. High Wire, you think you could get up there?”
He sang a chorus of beeps before transforming and scaling the steep rock ledge, turning back into robot mode just as he reached the Minicon panel and pulling it free from the rock wall. Alexis gestured to her friends to move back as a few rocks came loose and tumbled down the ledge, but the small rockslide was brief. Once the coast was clear, High Wire slid back down and offered the panel to Rad.
“So what are we gonna do? We can’t stay here forever,” Carlos asked. “Like, I’m already kinda thirsty, and we left all our stuff back at the field…”
“Let’s just stay put for now. I don’t think they can get us in here unless they blow this place up, which they surely would’ve done already,” Rad said. “The Autobots probably got the Minicon signal too. It’ll only be a matter of time before they get here.”
Alexis hoped he was right. In the meantime, she turned her attention to the two Transformers outside. It sounded like they were arguing, but the Decepticons always seemed to argue. They weren’t speaking English, which made sense- they were aliens, after all.
Whatever language they were speaking intrigued Alexis’ curious ears. She had heard the Autobots speak their own language before- she remembered Hot Shot telling her it was Iaconian, but this sounded different. Their words came as a series of metallic yelps, whoops, barks and whines that sounded like a hyena or wild dog mixed with a bird’s song. Starscream’s voice was comparatively high when he spoke his native tongue, but still as coarse as it was when he spoke English. Cyclonus, while she couldn’t understand a word he was saying, seemed to have a noticeable accent that Starscream didn’t.
Then, for whatever reason, Cyclonus flew away somewhere.
The flying Transformers intrigued Alexis, even though they all seemed to be evil Decepticons. She looked back at Rad and Carlos, who were still arguing about what to do, and then to the mouth of the cave, where she could see Starscream’s… paw? Hand?
From what he had seen of him, Starscream had a horrible attitude, but he had spared them from Cyclonus’ brutality just prior, so maybe there was a shred of benevolence beneath his ornery exterior. Alexis squared her shoulders and headed for the cave’s mouth. The red quadruped Transformer was staring off into the distance. He was slender and lithe compared to the other Transformers she knew, with a pleasant, warm red paint job and a few slightly darker stripes on his shoulders, thighs and tail. He had an old scar on his throat, maybe where the rasp in his voice came from. When he wasn’t scowling, he had a pretty face, with striking orange eyes and a thin nose that gently tapered to a subtle snout. He carried an air of elegance that was ultimately betrayed by his awful attitude. Alexis couldn’t help but be reminded of the mean girls at school.
“Hey! Starscream!” She hollered, arms waving. Starscream slowly turned to face her.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He growled, shifting to sit directly in front of the cave’s entrance and completely block her way. If he wasn’t a towering war machine, the way he sat would’ve been cute. He really was an overgrown flying cat.
“Nothing. I, um, just wanted to talk to you.”
He grunted indifferently. “What is there to talk about, little two-leg?”
“Well, first of all, we’re called humans.”
“Nice to know,” he muttered sardonically. He hadn’t squished her yet, and with a paw twice the size of her entire self, he could’ve easily done it by now, so she supposed she was getting somewhere.
“So, uh, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but… you’re… you’re different from the other Transformers. You and Cyclonus.”
“...Yes.”
“You walk on four legs and… have tails and stuff.”
“Uh-huh. How very observant of you.”
Sometimes, Alexis wondered what crawled up his tailpipe. “Is that just a you thing or like… all the flying Transformers like that?”
To that, Starscream unwound with an exhale from his vents. “We are all… ‘like that’. Fliers, I assume you mean,” he replied. Alexis cocked her head. That made things interesting.
“Is it rude of me to ask why that is?”
Starscream let out a semi-amused noise. “Why do you walk on two legs? It’s simply how we evolved. We are not the same kind of Cybertronian as your little grounder friends,” he said, enunciating it like it was a foul word. “The same way you must not be the same kind of Earth animal as a…” he stopped to think, “as a shark, or canary.”
“But you’re all Transformers?”
“Of course. You, the shark, and the canary are all Earth animals, aren’t you?”
He got her there. Starscream stirred, getting lower until his belly was touching the ground, wings folding against his sides. “Why do you care… what do they call you?”
“Alexis. My name’s Alexis. And my friends are Rad and Carlos.”
“What interesting designations.”
“Why thank you! I’d say the same for you.”
“You’d better,” he said, flashing his fangs with a taunting sneer. Just one of his canines was probably as long as her arm. She backed up a little.
“And I care because I’m curious. So, um, are there any Autobot… flying Transformers?”
“Fliers. And not particularly,” he answered. “We, as a people, hail from an island named Vos back on Cybertron. Vos sided with the Decepticon army many, many moons ago, hence our prevalence in the Decepticon ranks.”
Alexis cocked her head. “But why? Megatron doesn’t look like he treats you all that well.”
The growl that left his throat was so deep, she felt it rumble in her chest. She flinched back, but quickly steeled herself again.
“How he treats me is none of your concern. He’s treated me better than any Autobot scum ever has,” he snarled. So that was a sore spot, got it.
“Look, us fliers and the two-leg grounders harbour a very mutual hostility, we have since the days of the primordial Energon spring. The Autobots were founded in Iacon, a majority grounder state. The Decepticons army was founded in Tarn, a mainland state that bordered Vos, and so, when the Autobot army attacked Tarn, they went through Vos, and their forces were responsible for unspeakable amounts of violence against our kind.”
He stood up again. “I know you think this war is all so simple and black and white, but it isn’t. Your darling Autobots are just as capable of hate as we are.”
Deep down, Alexis felt as though she shouldn’t be too surprised. The Transformers made it very clear they weren’t just robots, they were complex mechanical beings that contained multitudes, just like humans. It’d make sense that they would have their own specific vices and prejudices, as much as she didn’t want it to be true. Then she thought about all the passing hateful comments she and her mother received as Vietnamese immigrants in a majority white state, and wondered if Starscream could relate, if only just a little. She decided she wouldn’t keep picking at the issue, he was already plenty cranky.
Still, she really hoped her Autobot friends didn’t hold any kind of hate in their hearts for their fellow Cybertronian. If only everyone could see each other as equals.
“Sorry for probing, Starscream.”
“Hmph. It’s all water off a submarine’s back to me,” he assured sourly. “I will say, you are quite the bold little human cub, being brave enough to talk to me.”
“The word is child.”
“Mmhm. Now quit bugging me and move along, your trine mates are calling you.”
“What?”
Starscream rubbed his chin with his index digit. “...I suppose the concept doesn’t have an equivalent in your language.” He waved her away. “Go on. Shoo.”
Disobeying would probably do none of them any good. She turned on a heel and returned to her cave, just as Cyclonus returned with something in his paws.
Or rather, someone.
The little human child, as he had learned they were formally called, was very plucky for her diminutive size. On the other hand, the males cowered in the cave, trembling like battery-leaves. Perhaps humans were matriarchal in nature, much like helicopters were back on the Vosian Plateau. Starscream would have to look into this unusual species sometime later.
Starscream chuckled to himself as Alexis disappeared into the cave. Maybe if she was born a Cybertronian, she would’ve made a fine Decepticon warrior with the sheer moxie she possessed. He brushed the thought aside as Cyclonus appeared on the horizon.
“Starscream!” Cyclonus called, landing gently before him. “Sorry it took so long! There weren’t any two-leg places for yonks!”
He opened his vehicle doors and kicked out his passenger-hostage. It was an adult human with a pale white coat, not a lot of fur on his head, and a round belly.
The thing looked positively terrified, scurrying back on his rump with an illegible scream. Maybe he was just soft-sparked when it came to sparklings of all kinds, but the older ones were far less endearing than the young ones.
“Transform!” Cyclonus yelled, switching back into quadruped mode and pinning the struggling, ugly human under his pawpad. “Alright, what now?”
“We negotiate,” Starscream answered simply. He looked into the cave and knocked on it. “Human trine! Come out here.”
The three looked at one another meekly, wordlessly making their decision with a synchronised nod. The tall one, Starscream remembered him being referred to as ‘Rad’, had the Minicon panel tucked under his arm.
When they were in clear view of their hostage, they gasped and staggered back and screamed in unison,
“Mister Rawley!?”
Now it was Cyclonus and Starscream’s turn to share bemused looks. “You know him?” Cyclonus asked.
“He-he’s our school’s vice principal!”
The human, Mister Rawley– what kind of name was that–? struggled under Cyclonus’ paw and tried choking out a response.
“A-Alexis!? Rad? C-Carlos?! Is that you? What on Earth is going on? I-is this real?!” he squealed out, trying with all his might to squeeze himself out from under Cyclonus’ grip. “What are these things?”
“D-don’t worry, we’ll get you out of there!”
The short tan one, Carlos, probably, started approaching with his Minicons in tow, but Starscream blocked him with his tail before he could interfere.
“Well, if you know this human…” Starscream began, looking at the pathetic human squirm under Cyclonus’ paw pads. “Then I guess this sweetens the deal, hm? Listen up. Hand over that Minicon, or I’ll let Cyclonus eat him.”
“WHAT?!” the human screeched. Cyclonus barked a maniacal laugh.
“And believe you, me, I haven’t had fresh meat in stellar cycles!” the helicopter taunted. That earned him another fuel-line curdling scream.
Alexis stomped forward and shook her fist at him with a vicious glare that could melt through a tank’s chassis. “You no-good, greedy, selfish, cruel, jerk of a furball, I thought we had a good thing going!”
“You know what they say, all is fair in love and war. Now hand over the Minicon, or Mister Rawley here’s ‘copter fuel. Make your decision. Quickly.”
Rad placed a hand on Alexis’ shoulder and tugged her backwards. Mister Rawley whimpered.
“P-please, do whatever it says, I-I’ll grant you whatever extensions on your assignments you want, I promise!” He pleaded. “K-kids!”
Rad threw his head back in frustration and clapped a hand over his forehead. “Fine! Fine, I’ll give it to you. Just let him go.”
“We’ll let him go once you paw over that Minicon.” He extended his open paw for the child to deliver what was his. The adult human wheezed and fruitlessly reached out.
“H-hurry, Rad! C-can’t breathe… down here…!”
With a very displeased groan, Rad dropped the Minicon panel in Starscream’s paws. The seeker smirked and held it close to his optic, scanning it up and down to make sure it was the real deal.
“Cyclonus, let the two-leg go.”
“Aww, Starscream, do I have to? Can’t I just eat him? It’s not like they can stop me.”
“Cyclonus.”
He sighed loudly and lifted his paw, letting the human go, much to the helicopter’s disappointment. He scrambled to his feet and fled behind the children and their Minicons, making himself small and quite pitiful. How was it that the young humans were braver than the adults? It didn’t matter, they had what they came for.
“Good choice, human,” Starscream mocked. “It was nice doing business with you. Ta-ta.”
There was no reason to stick around, especially when the dirt and sand was starting to irritate him. They retreated back through their warp gate, just as he picked up the distant revving of Optimus Prime’s engine as the Autobots finally arrived on the scene.
“You know those things?”
How, out of the nearly two million humans living in the state of Nebraska, had Cyclonus managed to find the one person Alexis and her friends were trying to wring deadline extensions out of, she didn’t know. Maybe the fliers could sniff out personal relevance, too. At least the Decepticons had disappeared at the unfortunate cost of the Minicon, but that was something to be worried about at a different time.
For now…
“Well, n-not really,” Rad admitted. “Those big ones are… um, they’re the evil ones, they’re called the Decepticons. These small ones are our friends.” He motioned to the Minicons.
“Y-yeah, I kind of assumed they were evil when that thing kidnapped me in the middle of my weekend jog,” Mister Rawley said. He rubbed his neck and grimaced, jerking his neck to the side. “Ooofh, that smarts…”
If things couldn’t get worse, the blaring honk of a semi’s horn reminded Alexis the world thought otherwise.
“Hey, the Autobots are here!” Carlos pointed out, jumping out into their line of sight and waving wildly. Alexis crossed her arms.
“Finally.”
“Autobots?”
“They’re the good guys,” Rad explained. “They’re… uh, alien robots from the planet Cybertron who fight for peace and unity.”
Mister Rawley put a hand over his bald head. “You can’t be serious. I-ah, I mean, is this some kind of elaborate prank?”
With sweat starting to bead at his brow, all Rad could offer as comfort was an awkward smile. “I’m afraid not…”
Optimus gently came to a stop before the four of them with Hot Shot and Red Alert parking themselves close behind him.
“Kids! I’m sorry we’re so late. Are you alright?” Optimus’ deep, clear voice boomed from his vehicle mode. It nearly gave Mister Rawley a heart attack, or what looked like one to Alexis, with how he stumbled back onto his butt with a yelp and a hand gripping at his chest. Red Alert inched forward.
“We detected Decepticon activity here. Did they give you any trouble?” The rescue SUV inched closer, driving Mister Rawley even further backwards until his back was flush against the cliff face, his pupils mere pinpricks. “Who might this be?”
“P-please tell me that’s their drivers speaking.”
Rad chuckled uncomfortably and patted Red Alert’s hood. “Ah, heheh, you see…”
“Rad, I am not a dog.”
Rad raised his arms in surrender. “Sorry.”
To answer Mister Rawley’s question, Red Alert transformed, and his comrades followed suit. The ever pragmatic blue and white mech kneeled down to address them with a level stare.
“Did they get the Minicon?” Red Alert asked. Mister Rawley looked like he was about to faint. Alexis looked at her feet and kicked a pebble.
“Yeah…” she said. “They threatened to kill Mister Rawley if we didn’t hand it over. Oh, this is Mister Rawley, by the way.” She pointed at him. “He’s the vice principal at our school.”
“Typical Decepticons,” Hot Shot mumbled bitterly.
“It’s alright, kids. You did the right thing,” Optimus assured. He offered Mister Rawley a polite nod. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir. My name’s Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots.”
Mister Rawley outstretched an arm for Optimus to shake, but quickly remembered the sheer size of what he was dealing with. His hand returned to his side. “H-hello, Optimus. Uh, I see you’re… working with my students here.”
“Indeed. They have been welcome additions to our ranks,” Optimus said. “Now, I wish we could stick around and chat, but we need to sweep the area to make sure it’s safe. It’s hard to know what dangers the Decepticons leave in their wake.”
“I… bet.”
“And I do apologise for all of this. I hope we can make it up to you.” Optimus straightened upright, drowning the four humans in his vast shadow. “Hot Shot, please bring this man to a medical centre. He looks like he needs some tech support.”
“You got it, boss!”
Hot Shot transformed and pulled up beside Mister Rowley, opening up his driver side door for him. Understandably, he seemed a little more than hesitant to hop in following his joy ride with Cyclonus.
“Hey, don’t worry, Mister Rawley.” Alexis walked over to him and guided him to the yellow Audi’s side. “Hot Shot won't let anything happen to you.”
“I hope you’re right, Alexis.”
With slumped shoulders, he resigned himself to his fate and climbed inside, disappearing once Hot Shot closed the door and sped off to find the highway.
With that finally taken care of, Alexis wandered around, found a sufficiently sized rock, sat down, and sighed. She sighed very hard.
So much for a relaxing day out with the Minicons.
“Megatron!”
Megatron was milling about in a crater when Starscream and Cyclonus came back from the Earth with their new Minicon, doing who-knows-what. He turned around to face them, brow creasing in a frown.
“What is it now? You two better not be wasting my time.”
“Quite the opposite, sir,” Starscream promised, before opening up his paw and offering his leader the dutifully procured Minicon. Megatron kneeled down to take it from him, carefully inspecting it with a blank stare. After a tense silence, he finally cracked a smirk.
“A Minicon? Why, I didn’t even hear the alarm go off,” he said. “I would’ve never thought you two could be capable of such feats on your own. Colour me impressed, yes.”
The two smiled expectantly at him, leaning forward in anticipation of an ‘and’. Megatron ignored them, activating the Minicon panel himself and watching it give way to a small, blue craneformer. He snickered darkly to himself, setting the Minicon down at his feet and letting him transform and drive away back to their base.
“S-so…” Cyclonus drew a circle in the dust with a claw. Megatron’s wicked smirk gave way to a mildly confused scowl.
“So what? Are you expecting a pat on the head?” Megatron scolded, “do you really expect a reward for doing what you were supposed to be doing this entire time? Is that how this works?”
Cyclonus and Starscream inched back, bristling slightly. They shared disappointed glances at one another. So much for that.
“Hmph. My finest Decepticon warriors, reduced to pathetic turbohounds grovelling for a treat,” Megatron mused. “Very well. You may be assigned your full rations from now on. Happy?”
That bolstered Cyclonus’ spirits right away, but Starscream himself still felt a little sore from the insult. They bowed either way, heads held submissively between their front legs.
“Thank you, sir,” Starscream whispered.
“At ease,” Megatron waved them up. “Starscream, come with me. There’s a crick in my spinal struts I need you to sort out.”
Starscream blinked at him before he acquiesced with a soft yes sir, following Megatron back to the base. When Starscream looked over his shoulder, Cyclonus shot him a smarmy look.
‘See what I told you? Likes your tail the most,’ came Cyclonus over his narrowband comms.
Some things were just not worth dignifying with a reply. That helicopter’s throat looked ever so tear-out-able, sometimes.
Terry Rawley was pinching himself all the way home from the ER, but he wasn’t waking up. So this was all real.
Or maybe he was hallucinating. Then again, it must’ve been a very realistic hallucination, considering how sore he was.
The ER had given him a relatively clean bill of health, at least compared to what he was expecting. The worst thing he had to worry about was a bone bruise on his elbow from that helicopter dragon robot thing throwing him on the ground, but that was it. The mental scars were the ones that were going to linger.
“Terry! Sweetheart, where have you been?!” His wife, Rosie, was all over him the second he walked through the door. “I tried calling you all day! What on earth happened to you?”
“I-its a long story. I, uh, I think I dropped my phone near the playground on 65th Street,” he said. Rosie shuttled him inside, where he collapsed on the couch.
“Did you get into a fight? I-I can call the police–”
“I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you the truth.”
“Oh, Terry, I’ll always believe you.”
“You won’t this time.” Terry leaned back into the cushions. “I was kidnapped and held hostage-”
“Honey, I’m calling 9-1-1–”
“-by giant alien dragon robots that turned into a helicopter, and a fighter jet, I think. One of them threatened to eat me.”
“...Oh.”
“And a few students from the school were there, with these little human-looking robots, and they saved my life by bargaining with them.”
“Terry–”
“And then the dragon planes teleported away, and I was rescued by three giant robot men that turned into a truck, an SUV, and an Audi. And then the Audi drove me to the ER and he told me to keep it all a secret.”
There was a painfully thick pause. Rosie smacked her lips.
“...Maybe you should think about retirement.”