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Am I not enough?
Caine had been isolating himself ever since the circus members had yelled at him after the last adventure. He thought they would've liked it! That it was enough. Caine touches his canine with a shaky hand, trying to reassure himself. He did well. They thought it was real! Real was good…yeah. Yeah.
Caine swallows slightly as he sits up, he'd just check up on them today, just see how they were doing? Yes.yes.yes! That's.. that's what a Ringmaster does! That's what Caine does, that's what he's supposed to do.
He snaps his fingers and he reappears on stage, and he looks around, looking for any of the circus members. Where.. where.. where.. he flies around quietly.
He sees someone and he freezes, Jax? Yes. Well.. would Jax want to see him? He was always so… two faced. Maybe not Jax, especially not alone. Caine passes by Jax and finds Kinger and Gangle sitting next to each other. Gangle doodling and Kinger watching quietly. Caine smiles slightly, that was… familiar?
He doesn't think he should interfere with that. He was just checking up on them today anyways..he hadn't really planned anything. He thinks anyway…
He floats off to find Zooble, Pomni and Ragatha sitting together just talking together, he floats a little closer to eavesdrop. It was his circus, was it not?
“I don't know what's up with Caine, we haven't seen him in like…” Zooble mumbles, looking frustrated. "Like a month? He's been avoiding us since that last… I don't wanna even call that an adventure.."
Ragatha sighs slightly. “I'm not sure either, but… I'm sure he'll turn up eventually? I just hope he's not.. planning another adventure like that.” Caine pauses. Okay, maybe he did go a little too far last time, but he.. he could do better.
Pomni doesn't respond to the other two, looking at the ceiling while laying on the couch. "Pomni? You alright?” Ragatha mumbles.
Pomni sits up slightly. "I don't know.. I just… should we be talking about him? He's able to hear us, I think. With that NPC Able and all… who knows what other NPC’s can send information to him?"
Caine tenses. Okay.. rude. He stays behind a box, and he lands on his feet for once. He checked up on them. He should go-
“Yeah, well… do you think like.. the objects we use also send information to Caine?" Zooble starts. Caine should go, he shouldn't-
“He's terrifying." Pomni scoffs. “If that's like a way he can gain information about us?"
Terrifying? No! No! He was fun! He was grand- he was the grand ringmaster and he wasn't- scary- he was never scary- not terrifying! Caine starts to squirm backwards from the box, accidentally revealing himself as a glitch occurs, it's a lot larger than his usual ones- oh god- oh God-
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Everything- everything feels sharp, feels different… Caine feels like he's on the floor, he can hear words above him. Talking. Who..? He opens his eyes, looking up again.
“caine? Caine? Are you okay?" Pomni stands above him, her shadow eclipsing his frame. "..you look.. different?”
Caine grimaces, lights too bright, he sits up, but his motion feels lagged. “Just- just a digit@l hallucination!" His voice feels replayed even as he speaks once… possible migraine symptoms- He snaps his fingers and some lights pop, better.. too bright anyways.
Caine felt heavy…his insides pulled tight like he was new again and not.. himself.
“Caine, are you sure? You like… shrieked. Loud. Fell backwards and then there was like black stuff and then it stopped and then you were.. different." Pomni states as she grabs his hand, her hand is shaking… Why was she shaky? She was always shaking, wasn't she? Shaky with excitement!
“Oh, my dear I am qu¡te fine! Oh- I should go plan something for everyone-" Caine states, feeling excited, more productive than normal. He goes to float off.
"... alright Caine..” why was she still looking at me with that terror in her eyes? I am a Ringmaster! I am not some- creature! Her opinion should not matter to him, but… he knew that all of their opinions mattered to him.
“Pomni!” he said, delighted. “Why don’t you choose our next adventure? A wonderful opportunity for creative input! What would you like to see today?”
Pomni tenses. “Shouldn't the others be here..? Oh right! Obviously, since that was how it usually was when we announced something! He snaps his fingers and the rest of the members are right behind Pomni and now all looking at him.
"Now, Pomni!" He smiles a little wider, smiling feels good! “What game should we play today? Something simple? Preferably.. since I am not sure of the map loading system currently.. stupid things started corrupting recently.
Pomni looked pale, paler than her usual eggshell white, it was more a prim color… “i- I we could.. play-"
Caine waits, watching her. Watching for engagement, he pauses as he looks behind her and notices that the others are also looking at him with a weird look. Not that anger from earlier.. but just like Pomni’s look.. no matter!
“Come now, dear, what shall we play? We could play hide and seek- heads up seven up.. oh a game.. a game of tag.." Caine feels a ripple of pleasure go up his spine as he mumbles tag. Tag was a good game.. he hadn't played it with…players in so long.. maybe that was when the circus was just in Demo..
He noticed quickly that Pomni had stepped backward after he mentioned tag. “Cøme now- Pomni? The others are waiting-"
“Caine, are you feeling okay?" She mumbles, looking at him, stepping backwards again.
Okay? He felt better than okay! He felt like he could do anything! Well.. other than generating something from a thousand adventures ago… but who would remember ensemble boy number 2?
"I feel- great!” Caine steps closer, and Pomni actually jumps backwards. What was up with her? And wh@t was up with the others? They looked as spooked as Pomni looked! "Are you all fine and dandy? You all look like you're seeing a ghost!”
His voice had felt louder that time, less.. normal. Was he okay? No! Of course he was okay. He was the ringleader, he was programmed to always be okay!
"Well, if you all aren't going to choose, then I will.” Caine snaps a wheel into existence and he replaces the original text names with the games he mentioned earlier.
"Heads up.. seven up.. hide and seek.. and tag-” Caine mumbles quickly and he goes to spin the wheel. "...anddddd-”
The wheel clicks like teeth as it spins, his jaw feels tight, why was he stressed? The wheel finally stops on a game.
“Tag!" Caine smiles slightly. “Now-" He turned around and there was nobody there. What?
“...everybody..?" He whispers. “Where'd you all go?" They.. they must've been excited to play tag with him!
Caine starts to look around while walking to give them all fair advantage! He was a good ringleader. Caine doesn't look at a mirror as he walks past it, maybe he should have.
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What the fuck? What the fuck had Caine turned into? He had been completely normal a month ago, hell! He looked fine while he was spying on our conversation, and then he fell backwards and he looked- he looked monstrous!
Pomni was still sprinting to look for a hiding spot. She pulls herself into an alcove and she sits down. Caine looked.. looked like if someone took a knife to him and then all of his gashes had grown teeth that were all gnashing as Caine talked! She was glad that everyone decided to run and hide because she wasn't sure that Caine would be.. well.. okay to stay around for another moment longer.
“Zooble..? Hello? Is anyone there?" Pomni could hear Caine speak from a distance. His voice was also like.. amplified? Like if someone had talked into different filters and then layered them on top of each other? It was terrifying. "Gangle? I'll make you another figurine! Please just come out..”
Pomni covers her mouth as she hears him come closer to her hiding spot. "Jax…? I know you're still mad, but if you come out you can punch me as much as you want- and I'll- I won't fight back!" Caine was really trying everything, wasn't he?
“Pomni..? I don't really know what I could offer you, but I'll give you a long hug if you come out- you always seem so tense.." Pomni stays quiet. Jesus.
Pomni suddenly tenses as she heard Caine stop walking and she heard gnashing teeth turn in her direction. She looks out slightly.
“POmni!" He shouts loudly, and he immediately grabs at her.
She yelps and she backs away, but that's kinda hard as he lifts her up to him. “Hi- hi- Caine-"
Caine smiles down at her. “Oh I knew that you weren't scared! Here- I'll give you that hug I promised!"
Pomni tenses and struggles. “Um- no- not thanks Caine!"
Caine shakes his head. "No, I insist!”
"Caine- have I ever told you about how much I enjoy your NPCS?” A compliment could probably take him off guard..
Caine blue screens, and drops Pomni, his arms shaking midair. "Ow-” She mumbles as she pulls herself back up and she sprints away. Okay- maybe that'll work.
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Caine blue screens, oh she loved my NPCs! Oh no wonder she always seemed to bond with them so often- it's because I made them the best! She loves them! Maybe- maybe he'll bring back that alligator one that she like so much-
Caine comes back after a couple minutes and he pauses. Where did Pomni go? "Pomni? Where..” No.. she didn't trick him, did she?
Caine stumbles past a mirror and in his peripherals he sees.. what is that?
He turns to look at it and tenses. That's.. that looks abstracted. No- no- haha! No that's not him! He's the boss, he can't be like that- he presses his hand against the mirror.
"Not- not me! That's not me!” All of the mouths laid across his form clicked in unison as he talked. Copying.. layering.. oh dear. Oh no.
That is not correct! He stumbles backwards and it takes a moment for his form to follow his intentions. He grimaces. “That's…not me. Is it not-?” They spoke when he spoke. Oh it was all so strange..
He opens his mouth, more.. more teeth inside, his eyes were noticeably smaller, he doesn't remember a time other than around the demo that they were so small- he grimaces, however the mirror shows a grand smile, something that cannot relax.
"Oh.. oh dear… that.. that is me. Isn't it?”
Caine didn't leave the mirror for a long time, just assessing his form. Testing it, like anyone would. That smile of his, wouldn't relax. Caine swallows. Not nice.
Caine then pauses as he hears someone try to tip toe away, he turns his head. Who…
Jax.
Jax was trying to hide. Trying to run away from the game of tag? Well that's not right. Caine's chest swells with a need to chase. To grab. He struggles slightly as he starts to stumble closer to Jax, especially as the boy realizes it and starts running himself.
“Jax! Why are you running!!! You know that this is just a game, right!" Caine giggles. “Oh you just don't wanna lose!"
The corridor stretched. The spotlight followed. The sound of Caine’s steps came out wrong — too sharp, too quick, like applause snapping shut. He seriously had just meant to run, not lunge. But he gets so close to Jax, Jax with his ears pulled back.
The world tunneled, became less to Caine, it became only chasing. He wasn't hunting- he was just making sure that Jax didn't leave. Didn't leave this incredibly fun game. He doesn't remember pouncing, but he remembers how Jax's head had slammed down onto the black and white tile, how a couple lights popped above and how Caine stared down at him, breathing heavily.
Jax was staring back, Caine paused. He looked so scared. “Jax..?" He mumbles. He presses himself closer.
Jax didn't answer, he just stared at him. At his teeth, at the new form. Why was that..? Oh.. oh right. To human minds… he must look incredibly different, different style.. different lighting.
I’m still me,” he said, softer now. “You know that, don’t you?”
Jax didn’t move. Didn’t joke. Didn’t smirk. He just looked terrified.
The realization landed slowly, heavily, like a dropped prop that didn’t bounce.
“…Jax?” Caine tried again.
His grip tightened without meaning to. Not enough to hurt. Just enough to keep him there.
Just enough to make sure he didn’t run again.
Because if he ran again—
No.
No running.
He realizes that his grip was too much when Jax actually starts to shrilly scream at him, oh! Oh that was just too loud- Caine covers his mouth.
“No more- no more running- no more screaming- just quiet.. quiet.. shh.. you're supposed to stay- yes- yes.. stay-” He swallows slightly. His mind gets a little hazy after this next part, but when he's out again he's hooked on Jax's shoulder, gnashing at it.
He pauses and he pulls away slowly. “I- I didn't mean to do that- I just- I just-" Caine tenses. “Please stay.. please stay quiet.. my head hurts." Caine mumbles quietly.
Jax nods quietly, terrified still. “I- I'm- staying. You.. you're…horrific, um… like in a cool way?”
Jax seemed to be honest this time around.
"...oh. thank you.” Caine swallows. Maybe he just needed to go to the basement for a little bit. That might fix things. "... I'll be back. Tell the others the game is done.”
Caine lifts himself off of Jax and he snaps his fingers and swallows slightly. He.. he'll come out soon. He will. He promises himself.
___
Unfortunately it's really hard to tell time when you're in a black void of existence, with other eyes all looking at you, all circling you. All accepting you…
it was peaceful down.. there…
Maybe it was for the best… to stay down here… just until he was fixed.. just until…they needed him again… it was so… quiet down here.. so nice..