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Steve Rogers was pissed. Bucky had set him on yet another double date, and he was pissed. Steve knew was partially his fault, but honestly, who was Steve Rogers to deny anything Bucky Barnes ever asked? Still, he didn’t know why Bucky still tried, he knew damn well that all of his date’s friends would reject him as soon as she put her eyes on him, but he did anyway. Right now, as he and his date sat next to each other on a diner, sharing a coke and fries, watching Bucky and his date drink a milk shake together right across from them, all he wanted was to go home.
The girl, Judy was her name, kept making not so subtle remarks on how small Steve was and how she didn’t want to be there. Steve was starting to nurse a headache by having to see his best friend and Judy’s friend, who he didn’t even remember the name now, flirting with each other shamelessly and trying to start conversation with his date, only to be ignored and/or brushed off by her.
“So… Do you like art?” Steve decided to try one more time to initiate conversation with Judy. He saw Bucky look at him and give him a half a smile before bringing his attention back to whatever his girl was saying.
“No, but I bet you do.” She smirked “I hear it’s what people like you usually like.”
“What, people like me?” He looked at her confused.
“Yeah, fairies like you probably like this stuff.” She said, way too loud for the place they were at. Some eyes turned at them, before quickly averting. “Ops…”
Steve was too dumbstruck to answer. His breath caught on his throat and he stared at her. Judy knew that if anyone overheard her he’d be in serious trouble. He could go arrested for that, for liking men. The suspicion was enough to have him beat up half to death, and by the mean smile on her face she was aware of what could happen, but she didn’t care.
Not that Steve liked men… Well, not all men. He loved and wanted only one man, and the thought of said man even suspecting what he felt caused him to panic even more. And also the fact that if someone decided beat him up in ally for that and no one found him...
“Excuse me, Judy? Did you just say what I think you did?” Bucky jumped in, startling the other three people on the table, Steve still too chocked to say anything.
“Hm, yeah…” She trailed and gave a smug smile “It was a harmless joke…”
“You know too fucking well what could happen to him if the wrong person overheard you speaking this nonsense.” Bucky stood up and threw a couple of dollars on the table, enough to cover to dinner “He is too damn good for you. He hasn’t been anything but nice all night, and yet you pull this kind of crap. Let's go, Steve. Let’s get out of here.”
But Steve was already up, and storming through the doors of the diner. Angry tears rushing down his face as he headed to the park near it. He never cried, he had heard worse stuff in his life and he hadn't cried. He tried to lie to himself and say he didn’t know why that got him feeling like that, but he knew why.
He knew it was because of how his hearted skipped a damn beat every single time Bucky smiled, and because of how much he wanted to kiss Bucky’s pout out of his face when he was trying to convince him to do something he didn’t want to do.
“Why the Fuck do I have to be so messed up? It would be easier if I just dropped dead.” He grunted loudly. The park was all empty, he was the only one there, he could rant as much as he pleased and only the stars and the full moon would be able to hear him.
That was until he felt a hand on his arm. He was quick to turn around, face all red from crying probably, and trying to get away from the grip, when he got face to face to a very irritated Bucky.
“Steve, are you okay? Are you hurt?” He asked, his face softening as soon as he saw Steve’s tears.
“I’m ok! I don't need you to protect me!” Steve jerked away from him, more tears rushing down his face “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me, Buck! Jesus, I’m a grown man! I can stand up for myself! I’m able to handle stuff alone!”
Steve walked away, stomping and stood quietly, letting his head fall backwards into the closest oak. He put his hands on his face, trying to stop the angry tears from stopping and failing. He was used to handle his feelings alone. He had done it all the times Bucky came gushing about the date he had for that night, and about how a girl had let him feel her up. He had done when all he wanted was to kiss Bucky senseless, he had done it when his Ma died…
“Are you done?” He answered calmly, walking to where Steve was and getting closer again “Yes, I’m aware that you don't need my help and that you can handle stuff by yourself.” Bucky put his hands on Steve’s shoulders “But you don’t have to. Because you’ve got me and I’m not going anywhere, and that means I’ll stand up for you when people say shit like Judy did, because I know they are all lies.” Bucky looked in his eyes, hesitating for a moment before continuing. “And even if it wasn’t a lie, I wouldn’t go anywhere. Because I’m your best pal, and I’m with you till the end of the line.”
Bucky stared at him, waiting for an answer. Grey eyes sparkling even more under the moonlight, everything quiet except for their breathing and the rustle of the trees around them… If you only knew, he thinks.
“If I only knew what, punk?” Steve had the terrible habit of thinking loudly, he'd do it when he was drawing and when he was doing the chores on the apartment. But God what a horrible timing for him not keep his fucking mouth shut.
“Nothing, Jerk.” Steve turned around and started walking, deeper into the park trying to ignore the other man at least until he got his shit together, going in the direction of their apartment, the dry leaves crashing under his feet as he made his way through the middle of the trees, heading straight ahead.
“Steve, look at me god dammit! I’m going to ask again, If I only knew what?” Bucky growled and he stopped dead in his tracks, turning around and almost crashing into his best friend.
“Leave me alone, please Bucky.” He pleaded, he didn’t want to lose the only person he loved that was still alive because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, because there was something fucking wrong with him that made him want his best friend like one wants a woman. Bucky took one step closer to Steve and put his hands on Steve’s face, forcing him to look at the man’s eyes.
“If I only knew what, Stevie?” he asked again, looking deeper into his eyes, into his soul. In that moment Steve knew that he’d spill everything. He always did when Bucky looked at him like that; he knew he’d tell the truth even if it meant losing the only person that mattered. He could never lie to Bucky, not when his eyes pleaded like that.
“That I think about you in ways that…” he swallowed, Bucky still looking at him, waiting, and Steve couldn’t help but blurt everything that was in his mind “That I shouldn’t. That I’m a freak and that I think about you like I should think about a dame. “Bucky looked at him with a chocked expression on his face, but his hands were still on Steve's face, keeping him in place and stopping him from running. He was still considering running anyway but he managed to keep going “I’ll pack my stuff and be out of the apartment in the morning, I promise… I understand if you never want to look at me again, I just had to tell you the truth-“
“Wait, what?!” Bucky said suddenly, unfreezing, but still keeping his damn warm hands on Steve’s face “What are you talking about, you dumb punk? Have you ever even considered that I want you too?”
“You what?!”
Steve said way too loud and thanked the heavens again for the fact that the park was empty. He must have misheard it... Bucky couldn't possibly be saying what Steve thought he was.
“I want you too, Stevie” He answered, getting even closer. Steve’s back crashed into a tree he didn’t even realized he was close too, blinking hard and considering pinching himself. “If you are a freak, then we’ll be freaks together… Because I’m in love with you, punk.” He whispered, loud enough for only Steve to hear.
He smiled, looking up at the taller man and not believing that was really happening. He let his eyes look at Bucky’s nose and the perfect freckles on his nose, barely visible even with the clear moon light shining on them, and letting them fall at the other man’s lips and fixing it there.
“Kiss me, won’t you Steve?” Bucky said, staring at the shorter man’s lips.
Steve smiled and crashed their lips together, opening his mouth after a while to finally taste his best friend’s lips and his mouth. Soon their kiss became hungrier, their tongues crashed into one another’s and he could feel Bucky’s hands on his hair. He forgot about why he was even pissed about a couple of minutes before, he forgot about the terrible double date and all he could think about was Bucky, Bucky, Bucky!
“I’ve wanted this for so long…” Bucky whispers after pulling away, their eyes locking “I can’t wait to do everything I’ve always dreamed about…” Steve cut him with yet another numbing kiss.
For the first time, as he felt Bucky all around him like a protective shield, he let himself picture them together. At the secrecy of their home having lazy sundays just kissing and cuddling. He let himself picture everything he wants to do with his best friend, because he loves him and wants Steve too.
And Steve was so fucking happy the park was empty, because he would do anything Bucky asked him to do right there and then. After all, who was Steve Rogers to deny anything Bucky Barnes ever asked?