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The wind. It was nice. And the waves crashing against the rocks and the earth below was oddly enough a comforting sound for someone who couldn’t for the life of him swim, and was terrified of heights. And pretty much everything else, for that matter. But then, that was always Sy’s problem, wasn’t it? At least, it was. Maybe even a little still, admittedly. Why else would he be here, hiding behind the Slifer dorm instead of making himself at home in his shiny new, well earned, Ra dorm?
Syrus sat there along the cliffside, knees pulled up to his chest with his arms resting folded over them, looking out over the sea. Alone with his thoughts. His thoughts, and the Slifer dorm standing sentry beind him. This place had been home for a whole year, it wasn’t so easy to just move on. Not for him, at least. After all, it had only taken all of about thirty seconds after officially joining Ra for him to go straight back to the Slifer dorm. Slifer was important to him too! Besides, promotion or not, Jaden was here. How was he supposed to just not be roommates with his best friend anymore? And how could he leave him to room with Hassleberry of all people? That stupid, muscle headed jerk! Oh he just made him so mad, Sy’s eye twitched just thinking about him!
His expression softened.
…Then again… as much as he hated to admit it, it was only because of Hassleberry’s help and words of encouragement that he was able to find the courage to duel Missy to begin with, let alone actually beat her. And without Power Bond too.
“I didn’t think I’d ever be ready for that…” Syrus thought to himself, glancing at the yellow jacket he now wore. It was different, that was for sure. He didn’t think he’d ever get promoted, not with his subpar skills. But there he was, a bona fide, certified Ra Yellow. He did that, he earned that. That's what everyone said, anyway, part of him still wasn't entirely sure he deserved it. But then again, maybe it wasn’t so much his skills, as it was his all but destroyed confidence that was the problem.
He scoffed at that, if only because that should’ve been obvious from the beginning. He was a smart kid, he got decent grades, he worked really hard, and he knew his deck. He was perfectly capable, yet every time he was made to put his knowledge into practice in front of anyone or when it mattered, he choked. He supposed he had Zane to thank for that. And Jaden to thank for helping him get over it.
…and Hassleberry, too.
Sighing, Syrus laid his head down, burying his face in his knees but careful not to squish his glasses too tightly against his face. It was devastating to admit it, but… maybe getting stuck with Hassleberry this year wouldn't be so bad after all…
“Whatcha doin’ out here, Truesdale?”
Speak of the devil.
Lifting his head up at the southern drawl shattering the silence, Syrus twisted around to see Hassleberry standing a few feet behind him, head tilted like a confused puppy seeing him sitting there along the cliff.
“That sure was some mighty big talk last night just to ditch breakfast, little man. I even left your stupid seat empty for you, too. You make a habit of that sorta thing or what?” He questioned further, with a hint of accusatory annoyance that made Syrus scowl back at him. Though the small boy was as threatening as, at worst, a purse-sized dog.
“No, I do not!” Syrus retorted, pouting as he turned back toward the sea, arms crossed in equal annoyance. But wait, did he seriously just say he actually did what he said after all that? He hadn’t even really meant it either, at least not as seriously as he made it sound. Dammit, he really was actually nice, wasn’t he? Fantastic. “And since when did you care, anyway?”
“For your information, the sarge was askin’ about you, not me.” Hassleberry dismissed, a little too quickly.
Glancing back suspiciously, Syrus frowned when he saw him standing there with his own arms crossed, nose up in the air as he looked off into the middle distance all dramatic like it were a burden just to be standing there. But Sy wasn’t an idiot, and he knew Jaden better than anyone. If he really wanted to know where he was, he’d have come out there himself. This wasn’t the first time he’d hidden out back here.
“So then why are you here?” He asked very pointedly.
That seemed to grab Hassleberry’s attention, causing him to blink in surprise before looking back at Syrus with that same confused puppy dog stare, like his brain had to catch up to actually clock what he’d just heard. Sy would say that surprised him, but that would be a lie. But what wouldn’t be untrue was his surprise at how genuine Hassleberry’s little grin in the wake of a scoff at the realization he’d been read was. What also surprised him was the simple fact that the dino duelist hadn’t bitten back like he’d expected him to, like he usually did. Granted he hadn’t known the first year for very long, the year had only just started, but they’d had enough –albeit slightly petty– arguments to come to expect certain behaviors from both of them.
This was not that.
“Touché.” Hassleberry conceded, but it was nowhere near a surrender. Lifting his hand up immediately, he cut Syrus off before he could make what he no doubt thought was going to be quite the scathing remark at his expense. “And before you say anything, yeah, I know fancy words too, Truesdale. I may not be a genius, but I’m not dumb.”
Syrus clamped his mouth shut, pressing his lips into a hard line as he took a deep breath in, and let out a heavy sigh through his nose. How many jabs had he taken at Hassleberry’s intelligence that he saw it coming already? He wasn’t really keeping count or anything, but apparently a few. So instead, he centered himself and twisted his body around, keeping his balance with his left hand pressed into the cool grass as he bit at the inside of his cheek for a second, wondering.
“So… what do you want?” He asked curiously. Clearly something, otherwise he wouldn’t have come looking for him. Whether he meant when he said Jay was asking or not.
That only seemed to annoy Hassleberry again, rolling his eyes and shifting his weight a little too eagerly off of his left leg. Quickly puffing out air to draw the gray eyes away from his legs and back to his face.
“Well I was gonna tell you that you earned that rank and to quit mopin’ about it.” He pouted, earthy hazel eyes glaring into gray for only a moment before closing them and shrugging his shoulders dismissively. “But if you’re gonna be like that, now I don’t think I will.”
If it weren’t for the fact that he was obviously trying to be nice without being nice, Syrus would’ve called him out for having already said the quiet part out loud. Instead, he simply let out a soft ‘hm’ and turned back to the sea again. Apparently everyone possessed the great and terrifyingly powerful ability to read his mind. Must’ve been a universal thing.
It was annoying.
“Oh.” He said, laying his chin against his knees again, the unexpected sincerity causing Hassleberry to blink like a puppy again behind him. He didn’t have to be looking to feel the younger boy’s gaze shift against his back. “Well, thanks, I guess.”
“And just so you know,” Hassleberry added, the grass rustling and swishing under his heavy boots as he took a few steps closer. “I only expect a little credit.”
Playfully nudging Syrus with his foot for emphasis, he laughed at him swatting at his leg with that little purse dog temper again to make him go away. Which of course, only made him come another step closer. Syrus looked up at him with those big gray eyes, and he grinned down at the smaller boy. If he was going to go all kid brother and assert his newfound confidence and perceived dominance over him now, well, Hassleberry wasn’t about to not rub it in his face that he helped out with that to begin with.
“Thought I’d let you forget that part, didja?” Hassleberry continued to chuckle to himself, sidestepping another annoyed swat from Syrus.
“Shut up.” Syrus huffed, but quickly simmered down a little.
Of course he wouldn’t forget that, it was annoying just to think about. But he’d already accepted that truth, he wouldn’t have found the courage to duel Missy, let alone beat her without Hassleberry’s push. And that was the worst part, honestly. The way that he’d always had it inside him, he’d always been good enough, always been capable enough to hold his own and prove himself, to stand up to his opponents and emerge victorious. But he was too scared to look inside himself for it, too scared to face himself and overcome, and not even Jaden had been able to truly pull him out of the shell he’d trapped himself in to do it, not in the whole year he’d known him.
And yet, Hassleberry had done that.
Hassleberry had reached in and pulled him right out of that shell, and now he could never go back in after only knowing him for like, a few days. And that just… didn’t make sense to him.
Pulling his arm back before swatting at Hassleberry’s leg purposefully crossing into his bubble again, Syrus wrapped his arms back around his knees. He supposed that regardless of disliking his underclassman, he owed it to him to thank him for his encouragement. If only the idea of giving Hassleberry something to lord over him didn’t make him physically constrict into himself. After that big show he made at dinner, man would he look like a fool. Or at the very least he felt like one. Serves him right, he supposed though.
“Seriously, though.” Hassleberry said, the warm southern lilt pulling Syrus out of his thoughts before he could descend any further inward back towards self-deprecation. He stepped closer again, this time moving to stand directly beside his senior. What surprised him, though not to any discontent, was that Syrus didn’t make any attempt to swat him away and out of his bubble again. Neither of them looked at each other this time, though. They just stayed there, looking out over the sea. “You earned this rank, Truesdale, and don’t you forget it. You looked that fear right in the eye and showed it what for!”
“I don’t know about that.” Syrus shook his head dismissively, half-laughing at the sudden tightening in his chest at being praised. “I mean, I beat Missy, but… I’m still nowhere near as good as my brother.”
The internal cringe he had at that the instant the words left his lips was monumental. Now why did he have to say that? However true it was, Hassleberry was decidedly not the person he wanted to open that can of worms with right now. He hadn’t even thought about it, it was an automatic, innate response to being told he did something well. Now he wanted nothing more than to throw himself into the sea.
Hassleberry just furrowed his brow at that response. He’d heard about this brother of his, it was kinda hard not to around here, especially now that he was making a splash into the pro league. And all that nonsense Missy had been spouting and how Syrus had finally gone off on her about it had been more than a little telling. But still, what did that have to do with his getting promoted? Seemed to him Sy was just as good as anyone else around here regardless of his brother’s talents. Why should anyone else have any say in the importance of his own accomplishments?
He glanced down at Syrus debating whether to jump off the cliff out of embarrassment or not beside him. What was he even supposed to say to that? He barely knew the guy, he wasn’t the right person for this, no way. And after all that, what in the world was he doing putting himself down all over again?
“...You need to learn how to take a compliment, Truesdale.” He said, with genuine sincerity, though he supposed his phrasing could use a little work. But that’s just how he was, blunt and to the point, no skirting around anything like some people. What was the point of that anyway? Never got anybody anywhere.
Syrus tensed at the statement. He hated to admit that it wasn’t exactly wrong, but the truth of it just made him want to collapse in on himself even more. Hassleberry was right –yet again– and he was proud of himself, he really was! But that didn’t just make all of the lingering anxiety and fear of inadequacy and abandonment just go away. It was easier to deal with, maybe, but one duel wasn’t just going to undo years of issues overnight. But he couldn’t have that conversation with Hassleberry of all people!
And yet, the fact that the dino duelist was reading him like an open book yet again made his face take on an ever so slightly pinkish hue in embarrassment.
“I–I can so take a compliment!” He sputtered out, shooting Hassleberry a defensive glare that turned from defensive to annoyed when Hassleberry started chuckling smugly to himself. “What’s so funny? Hey, I’m serious!”
Hassleberry shook his head at him, genuinely amused by his miserable attempt at making that sound even a little bit believable. Plus any opportunity to have a laugh at Syrus’s expense was appealing in and of itself given how annoying and mousy he found him to have been up until now. So there was that too. But mostly he just found him to be totally unbelievable.
“Yeah, yeah, sure, Truesdale.” He said between quieting chuckles that turned into a sly, quirky little grin that only made Syrus’s face grow pinker, swatting at Hassleberry’s leg again in an embarrassed huff as he whipped his head back around and proceeded to pull his knees back up to his chest and pout like a small child.
It didn’t take much longer than a few moments for Hassleberry’s amused laughter to die down, leaving them with nothing but the sound of the ocean’s waves below and the rustling of leaves in the breeze around them. Syrus could feel Hassleberry’s presence still there beside him, only glancing out of the corner of his eye to be sure the younger student was still there so he could avoid digging himself into an even deeper hole than he already had.
The last thing he needed right now was getting into another fight with him, though he had half a mind to start one just to turn the subject away from him. What else would they even argue about though? Jaden, he supposed. But it wasn’t really about Jaden anyway, wasn’t it?
Nope, not opening that can of worms yet.
Syrus pulled his knees in closer, anxiously chewing on the inside of his cheek again. It felt like he’d been sitting there for hours since Hassleberry showed up, and now that they’d stopped actually talking, it was even more awkward. He wanted to break the silence, it was suffocating, but the longer they went without speaking that somehow made it even more difficult for him to say anything. Why was that? He’d never had that problem with Jaden or any of his other friends, whether he particularly considered Hassleberry a friend yet or not –he didn’t, per say– what was so hard about talking to him?
He was just about to turn to look at him, when Syrus was stopped by Hassleberry’s hand clamping down on the top of his head, patting him at least twice with what felt like a gentle care before resting there on top of him. Syrus’s eyes widened a little at the sensation, surprised to say the least.
Whaaaaat was he doing...?
“What I said earlier. I meant that.” Hassleberry said in all sincerity.
He glanced down at Syrus briefly, then looked back out at the sea. He wasn’t quite sure how to feel about the little guy yet in all honesty, they didn’t exactly see eye to eye –literally– and to be frank the half-pint really just got on his damn nerves, as much as he knew it was mutual. But there was this spark in him, Hassleberry could see it, this fire that had been smothered for far too long. And despite how much he maybe wanted to punt the guy into the ocean sometimes, it was that same fire that endeared him to him.
He felt Syrus turn his head under his palm, no doubt looking at him with those big old eyes of his all flabbergasted and the like, about to make some stupid ass comment like he always did. Suddenly he wasn’t so sure he wanted to say any of this, but he was already in too deep to just clam up and let the moment pass by. Furrowing his brow, Hassleberry shook his head, clenching his hand into Syrus’s skull just enough to turn him back away.
“And look, before you go and get all smart with me, just… listen a sec. And listen good, y’hear?” He huffed, pausing for a moment before continuing on. “I know we’re not exactly friends, honestly you drive me damn near nuts. But I’m glad you beat that Missy girl.”
“Hassleberry–”
“–Truesdale, what’d I just say about listening?” Frowning, he sighed and shook his head. “You didn’t just face your fears, you faced yourself. That’s tough.”
Syrus sat there quietly as instructed this time, listening to the sincerity in Hassleberry’s voice. He’d given his congrats after the fact like everyone else, but the way he was being so genuine and soft in spite of how loud and boisterous and, well, rough around the edges he was gave Syrus pause. And as he spoke with this whole different level of care than usual, this dip into introspection he never thought he’d attribute to the dino duelist, the weight of his palm atop his head, his warmth sinking into his skull was… oddly comforting.
“I won’t pretend like I get what goes on in that head ‘a yours,” Hassleberry continued, patting Syrus’s head on cue. “But I know what I saw. And I meant what I said, you earned that promotion, little man. Not just because you beat her, but because you didn’t hold yourself back. You stood there on your own two feet and you stuck it to her and anyone else who thought you couldn’t measure up. That includes you. ‘Cause let me tell you something, Truesdale, I dunno what everybody’s been telling you, but you’ve got nothing to prove. Just because that brother ‘a yours is some big bad pro duelist, it doesn’t have anything to do with you or make you any less of a duelist, so I don’t wanna hear another word outta you about it, y’hear?”
If Syrus could have looked at him with Hassleberry more or less holding his head in place, he would have. He was both flattered and confused. This was… probably the kindest thing anyone had maybe like, ever said to him? Certainly in the running if anything else. Granted, he’d prefaced it by saying they weren’t friends, which to be fair, he agreed. But if that was the case, then how come he felt a little pang in his chest when he said that…?
“What I’m trying to say is… I'm proud'a you, Truesdale.” Hassleberry said earnestly, softly patting his head one more time before finally taking his hand away.
Almost as soon as Hassleberry’s hand lifted away, Syrus turned his gaze straight back up at him beside him with astonishment in his eyes. That wasn’t a sentence he often heard, at least, not directed his way. And hearing it now, even (or maybe even especially?) from Hassleberry of all people, that meant something to him.
Hassleberry looked down at him when he saw his head turn, taken aback by the big gray eyes he’d been dreading staring up at him. Suddenly very aware of everything he’d just said, his cheeks turned the subtlest shade of pink and for the quickest moment possible, his eyes shifted as he loomed over Syrus, flustered. Turning his head away, he crossed his arms tightly.
“O–Or, y’know. Whatever.” He sputtered out, immediately distancing himself from the moment. Against his better judgement, he glanced back at Syrus, who was still staring silently at him. Suddenly irritated again, he whipped back around in his direction with narrowed eyes despite his still pink face betraying his attempt to appear adversarial again. “Well don’t just sit there gawkin’ at me! Say something!”
Locking eyes with Hassleberry once more as he stood over him fuming, Syrus had hardly registered how flustered he was. Truthfully, he just never thought he’d ever find himself having this conversation with him. If anything, despite his desire not to be, Sy couldn’t deny that really… he was happy.
“Thank you, Hassleberry.” He said with full sincerity, his gaze softening from shock and awe to a friendly warmth. Sure, they’d probably go back to hating each other again later, but for now, he figured this was what a truce felt like. “That, uh… that means a lot.”
Blinking back at him in just as much surprise, Hassleberry’s embarrassed frustration all but melted away. Laughing through a breath, he grinned, twisting around and raising his left arm to grab at the back of his neck.
“Yeah, well, you know.” He dismissed, waving him off. Although the grin still on his face was enough to tell Syrus it was a fairly half-hearted dismissal this time. Pulling himself together, the dino duelist shook his head and gestured back to the Slifer dorm and backed up slowly to start leaving. “Anyway, we should, uh, probably head on back. Wasn’t totally lying about the sarge, y’know.”
“Mm.” Syrus hummed, nodding as he turned back to the sea. “Go ahead, I’ll catch up.”
“You sure?” Hassleberry asked, stopping and lingering there behind him. “You’ve been out here a while. You should get somethin’ to eat at least.”
“I will.” Syrus said back, leaning back onto his hands and turning his eyes from the waves below to the clouds floating by overhead, relaxed, and Hassleberry could hear a little smile in his voice. “So you better leave my seat open again! I mean, promotion or not I do still have seniority, you know. You really should do what I say.”
Hassleberry scoffed at that, rolling his eyes at his senior with more affection than he would’ve cared to admit even ten minutes ago. Already they were back to poking and prodding at each other, huh? But at the very least, for now anyway, it was all in fun. They could go back to being at each other’s throats for real tomorrow.
“Way to ruin the moment, Truesdale.” He teased, lingering for only another moment before turning and heading back to the Slifer dorm, throwing his arm up in a nonchalant wave goodbye. “Later.”
Listening to Hassleberry’s heavy footsteps in the grass grow softer and softer as he disappeared back around the front side of the dorm, Syrus let out a deep, relaxed breath. He had to say, he felt better now than he had when he first came out to sit there by the cliffside that morning. When all the excitement and the high of his victory against Missy and his promotion ran its course a little too quickly, he was feeling that same anxious, insecure weight begin to press down upon him again. He still had so many doubts, fears of inadequacy and abandonment that he wished would be as easy to dismiss entirely as winning one duel, even though he knew all too well how foolish it was to think that way.
But everything Hassleberry had said, it spoke volumes to him. He felt those words. It almost made him angry all over again, the sheer effect the dino duelist had on him. He drove him crazy, pushed his buttons like no other, and just generally made him want to tear his hair out the way he came in and inserted himself into their group, trying to worm his way between him and Jaden. He didn’t think they could ever be friends, to be honest. And in a way, he still didn’t. But, well… maybe he was wrong about him. Maybe.
Just maybe.
He shook his head at himself, laughing under his breath just a little bit.
Yeah. Even if they did go right back to hating each other tomorrow, maybe being stuck with Hassleberry this year wouldn’t be so bad after all.