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ParrotX2’s ribcage tightened in on himself, feeling some sort of churning as his mind began to drift away from himself. He desperately tried to bring it back to himself, but the softness of the cushions made it harder to grasp anything but the blankets.
Parrot, where’d you get that?
It was another form of jealousy that broke its way into the bird’s heart. Tore itself inside and left it there to not grow, but remind.
10:28 PM. The clock told, in which he sighed.
ParrotX2 stared at the picture frame by his side, lifting up a finger before he let it settle on the frame.
A picture of an old friend. He stroked the side, letting his touch linger. As if he could feel it.
The jealousy grew, not on who his friend previously was— it was who he was now.
Dead.
I’m sorry, I won’t be a liability anymore.
ParrotX2 began to think. The face was numb, so was the brain, and body. He was mimicking his friend in hopes of the same enlightenment and wisdom that God had granted his dear. Hand faltered, falling back to his side as he realized… Becoming dead, accepting death— it was like becoming nothing but memory. Nothing but a corpse, rotting in flesh until you disappeared as nature welcomed you rather than people.
Somehow, in the sickest side that his mouth wouldn’t utter but it would stay, he found a twisted comfort in that, darkly intimate.
Instead of “Why did you leave me here?”
ParrotX2 rang. “Why didn’t you take me?”
Please don’t do anything rash.
The kind of question that wasn’t meant to be pondered about, but acted on. The kind that was whispered softly rather than muttered into equilibrium. His eyebrows knotted, for no particular reason. He let the weight stay in his heart as it already ached with an unnamed injury, feeling it slow down before it disappointed him with a beat— showing he was alive.
He felt himself floating, as if his wings weren’t hurting. He didn’t see anything. Maybe a splash of color at the corner of his eyes, maybe a microorganism crawling over his vision, maybe a streak of many colors at once that it looks like it’s blending into the darkness of it all. But the picture frame stuck to him.
ParrotX2 hated looking at it.
The parakeet didn’t want to wake up Theo, who was just sleeping soundly beside him. But he felt a cold river run his cheek, then his other cheek, and before he knew it— He was shedding tears. He wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was real. It wasn’t ugly, it wasn’t raw, it just.. spilled. Like a tilted cup of water that was keeping balance until it eventually fell.
He was going to pick it up anyway. He wiped with no emotion.
You always end up in a situation where you are in danger!
The pool stuck to the bedsheets, intruding, desperate to be noticed, despite to whom it was owned. Wings shifted slightly to cover the mess of his doing, resulting in his bird friend to grumble in his slumber. Theo was always a messy sleeper, moving from position to position, but never a light one.
He truly tried his best to not think and sink into the same wonders Theo was going through at night, but his own brain taunted him. It was so long ago, was everything just against him? It was tempting to toss, turn, try to do anything that at least shook off these memories.
Though, he couldn’t lie.
Even if he did escape, even if he threw that spyglass to save himself—
He longed for Wifies the same way he did.
Though it was different, it was his kind of protection and love.
It’s just us. No one will ever harm you here, Parrot.
‘I miss my friends.’ Parrot thought.
Subconsciously, he found himself turning to his side, promising to himself it would be the last time he would— hearing Theo’s obnoxious snores that used to keep Parrot up at night, and seeing Theo’s widened mouth that grew when he took in a breath. His arms outstretched around the top of the pillows like he was hogging it all in a swoop, armpit was shamelessly all out.
He looked up at Theo, his expression blank.
‘He still wears his sunglasses to bed, huh?’ A thought occurred.
I can’t sit idly and watch you hurt yourself.
The hand he owned twitched by itself. Bringing itself to graze against Theo’s side before it landed on the edges of his sunglasses. He tilted it over, just a bit. Enough to see his closed eyes. It squinted when he brought it up, Theo’s headwings flapping but only a flutter— expressing disturbance. His golden yellow locks looked more of a muted blue in the dark night, the moon’s light barely supporting the room. It was better like this. More discreet.
The avian’s eyes scanned the other’s profile— that was oddly serene that belied the constant change of motion he acted, then he dropped it to its original position.
He’s been acquainted with him for a while, no? Even when Wifies was still here. Took his side from the start, stood by him even when afar, then here they were. He knows he should carry some sort of thankfulness… But it felt like he'd been here forever. Maybe not physically, or anything, sort of… In his presence.
The muscles in his face relaxed— only a little bit.
Suddenly, it wasn’t so cold anymore.
It always felt like a ghost was haunting his back, making sure he remembered about everyone he failed, he disappointed, he drifted away from– literally and figuratively, Seeing how at peace his friend was, especially by his side.
He didn’t deserve it.
The macaw believed he had some sort of bad luck with his peers, dying one after another, the ghost of their warmth only ever coming to be aware when his cheeks were drenched with his tears. It left him broken, and every time he shredded tears, it’d crack more. So, an internal decision was made– He’d make himself numb.
Numb to a point that he called it protection to his own emotions. When really? He’s just bottling it.
His wings flapped faintly at the realization.
God, if he had just slept without any thought…
I built a world just for you, Parrot.
His claws clung to the blanket a bit more tighter as his eyebrows knotted together, feeling his eye twitch for half a millisecond. He didn’t like this– he didn’t like this feeling. Parrot’s mind was confronting his own actions, shouting at him, telling him to do all the things that probably would’ve led him to a much better state and situation.
But it wouldn’t be Parrot if he wasn’t stubborn.
For some odd reason, feeling uncomfortable with the unknown turns his head was turning against him, he found himself curling in on himself in… fear?
Fear of the unknown.
He closed his eyes shut so tightly that the atoms in between his lashes were for sure going to merge, trying his absolute best to just sleep. It’s all he ever needs at this moment, and his body has been longing for it— yet declines when he’s comfortable
It’s all yours.
Shuffling underneath the sheets, shifting because his current position never felt quite right, sweating when he finally let go of his tight eyebrows.
This was going to take a while.
Theo stirred. Only vaguely.
The weight of the bed was constantly being dipped, then light, then dipped again, he only frowned slightly in his sleep.
Well, now he’s awake. He just doesn’t want to open his eyes.
The unwelcoming sight of a vision was unappealing, his eyes begging to stay the way it was but he didn’t know that Parrot was a messy sleeper.
Groaning at the nuisance, he lifted up his sunglasses and slid it over to the nightstand with his eyes closed. With the lowest amount of light entering his eyes, he opened his eyes which returned to a squint.
“Okay, Parrot. Why are yo—“
He stopped himself in his tracks as he looked over to his side.
Parrot was beside him— obviously— but his face looked oddly frustrated. He could already guess what his theorist friend was doing— Parrot was trying to force himself to succumb to the incredibly dawning wave of slumber that never washed over him.
‘Oh.’ He said unspokenly.
The hands behind his head was debating in on itself on whether it should embrace the fellow avian beside him, or shake him awake.
Though, he didn’t do anything for a while. Theo took his time to just… look at Parrot. His hand that clung to the blanket, trembled faintly every few seconds or so. Eyebrows twitched, frowning deeply that left concerning wrinkles on his skin. Parrot’s hair strands draped itself all over his face, like a madman who had just finished headbanging.
Theo sighed. ‘Awh. Poor dude.’
A debate was made in his mind.
He looked at the avian, then dragged his gaze forward to the ceiling.
While his hands were still itching on its own inner turmoil, he nudged his elbow against Parrot’s forehead—
In which he responds with a jolt, gasping.
Theo sat up straight immediately. “Woah, woah. Take it easy, bro. Go back to bed.” He smoothly said, trying to hold his concern back. “C’mon, lay back down. Theo laid back down, as if beckoning Parrot to follow.
Parrot was busy trying to breathe, his chest tightening up against himself. He looked over his shoulder, so fast he swore he broke something, seeing his friend pull on his top.
“Y- Yeah. Sorry ‘bout that, Theo…” he muttered.
Parrot slowly laid back down, with Theo throwing the blanket over the both of them. He attempted to close his eyes again, bringing the blanket to his mouth before an unexpected tickle shivered his ear. “What was that all about?” Theo whispered just right against his concha.
The parrot gulped. “…Nothing, just— problems sleeping. Kinda.” He was so tempted to turn his back against him, just to end this topic right here and now.
Theo, of course, caught this.
“Sure? I mean, we don’t gotta talk or anything but like… Can you at least be honest with me?” His tone was holding back so much right now, he could physically feel its weight on his chest.
Parrot glanced at him, just for a moment, before his eyes quickly retreated. Shyly, he brought the blanket to cover his face as he uttered— Quielty. Ghostly. Longingly.
“I.. Imissmyfriends.” He muffled himself.
That earned a slightly stuck and amused face by Theo, who took a while to regain his movements. Parrot didn’t take off the blanket, he didn’t want to see the expression, it mortified him.
Then, something warm engulfed his side.
A hand, he presumed, embraced him awkwardly, but it was reassured in a way. He was then patted on the back, in a rhythm that felt more strictly measured than comforting.
“Uh— There, there…” Theo said stiffly. “Dude, I’m not good at this.”
The comment brought a slight smile to his face, before he relaxed completely in his hands. “I can tell, Theo.”
He didn’t want to be weird, or anything— But he could practically melt right now. It’s sudden, but to him? Theo was a heater, and it’s all he ever needs.
The yellow avian clicked his tongue. “Hey, I’m trying my best here.” It’s true, he had no idea what could possibly be going through Parrot’s mind right now as he continued patting, before it slowed to a stop. Strangely enough, the motion itself brought the green bird’s eyes to a half lidded gaze to the ceiling.
Actually, Parrot wasn’t even sure if it was the patting, or if it was just because Theo was warm.
“Mmh…” Parrot hummed. “Thanks.” Words turned lazy like a drunken call.
He blinked. Once. Twice. Then it was closed.
He breathed— making sure his lungs weren’t turning against him again, before every part of him dropped all tension.
He felt a tight, tight embrace. Surprising, but not unwelcome. Parrot’s eyes opened a bit, his hand raising to the arm that surrounded his neck. Theo— Theo??
The avian was hugging him, really tightly…
“Man, I miss you too.” He added, seconds late.
At first, Parrot was… still. Not stiff, still. He let himself be in an almost choking victim in the hands of his friend, he laid his hand on the forearm of Theo.
Then, he shook his head.
“No, not you…” Parrot jokingly teased.
That increased the grip. “Ah— Ow—!”
“Parrot! We’ve been through so much man, don’t say that!” Theo whined, shaking the green avian slightly.
The latter giggled, but it came out as a strain. “Fine— Sorry! Loosen up, then I’ll think about i- ack!” Parrot was going to turn pale if he went any further.
“Hey, Theo?” Parrot whispered softly, as if trying to convey it to only Theo— even if no one was around. Theo sighed, keeping his hugging position on Parrot. “What is it? Quick.” He pushed.
Silence.
“Parrot, I said—“
“We’re friends, right?”
The question floated.
Theo would be laughing at the absurdity of the question, if it just didn’t sound so genuine. The tone was fragile, almost akin to glass if anyone else but him heard it. It was communicated so quietly yet so strongly to his conscience, he was afraid that if he breathed wrong— That would hurt Parrot infinitely.
Theo smiled, not with hubris, but with tenderness.
“Always were, Parrot.”
