Work Text:
Joey sat on the floor of his bedroom, back leaning against the side of his bed. Darkness filled the air with a dim shadow, just as he liked.
In his hand, he held a small bottle of pills. He knew what they would do.
Eyeing them carefully, he once again went over the two possible outcomes if he took them or not. If he didn’t, he would be forced back into the endless cycle that the world had forced upon him. The pain would never end, just keep growing and growing inside of him until he snapped and did it anyways. It would only be delaying the inevitable.
If he did take them, all the suffering would disappear, alongside himself. It was a small price for freedom. He didn’t have any future now, no hope for society or and hope in himself. And he might as well do it now, rather than wait again for the next time the agony of life got too severe. Better to just get it over and done with.
Gently, he unscrewed the cap. A masochistic smile split across his face as the reality of the situation took hold. This was it, finally. No more pain, no more hurting, no more wishing for a better life. A warm feeling filled Joey’s chest at the thought of peace laying beyond this world. No pressure, no fear, no despair. Maybe he would even meet with the old friends he had lost along the way.
Slowly, delicately, he tipped the small plastic bottle on its side and-
A door creaked open, somewhere further in the house. He froze as the quiet squeak of the hinges shook through the air. It was only quiet - so very quiet, you wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t alert. But Joey was always alert. He had grown up like that, where you had to listen for every little noise to make sure that you knew where everyone was in the house, so you could plan out what times were safe to leave your bedroom, so you could tell when somebody was coming to your room, and if they planned to punish you.
He knew who this was; Corey, his roommate, returning from work. He shouldn’t have been home yet, not for another hour. This disbalanced everything, every little plan he had figured out.
Fuck.
He had to be quick.
Heart racing, the nice feeling in his chest dissipated. Frantically, he poured a handful of the pills into his shaking palm, feeling his arms start to quiver in fear.
Heavy footsteps were making their way down the hall, towards his room.
Tap, tap, tap…
Their ominous treading sent anxiety running down his spine and his heart raced faster.
“Joe? You home?”
Corey’s voice. He was almost at the room. He could feel the vibrations along the walls echoing into his body.
The door knob turned. The hallway light cut into the room. Without another moment's hesitation, he raised the handful of pills to his mouth as fear engulfed his body.
As soon as Corey opened the door enough to see what was happening, he understood. Confusion spread across his face before a shocking realisation shot through his widened eyes.
He darted forward with a yell, racing towards his roommate. Blinded by alarm, he couldn't think of what to do. In resort, he kicked Joey’s arm away from his mouth, sending white pills flying through the air as his grip was lost in surprise. In the movement, Joey’s hand had fallen beneath Corey’s shoe, but his attacker didn’t realise until he dropped his foot to the ground.
A sickening snap sounded beneath Corey’s heel, causing them both to freeze in place. Amidst the panic, Joey couldn’t feel anything except fear and despair. It filled up inside his body like an ocean, the current pulling him around in a swirling current of loss. That had been his one way out. The only way to be free. And now it was gone.
Slowly, as the sudden shock began to dissipate, he realised the pain welling from his hand. As he noticed it more, it started to grow, burning at his skin and bones until it exploded into a conflagration of agony. He looked towards his hand, which had been delivering his fate only seconds before, and saw it crushed beneath heavy black shoes.
Corey stood in a cryonic state, frozen in fear and confusion as to what had just occurred. What was Joey doing? In the first glance, all he could see was someone in the same situation he had been in years ago, swallowing a handful of pills out of bottomless pain. He had reacted quickly, without thought of what else could have been happening. But now that he had time to think more clearly, what if it had just been a misunderstanding? Looking down, he realised that he was standing on Joey’s hand, crushing it beneath his boot.
Guilt trickling through his mind, he quickly stepped away, alleviating the pressure.
At the sudden movement, Joey screamed. His hand had felt like it was on fire before, but now the pain had intensified even more. Tears pricked at his eyes from the pain, both from his hand and from the failure of his goal.
At the cry, Corey immediately kneeled down beside him, gingerly reaching for his injured hand.
“Fuck… oh my god, Joe, I didn’t mean to…” The words tumbled out of his mouth as guilt solidified its place amongst his emotions.
Joey might not have even heard him. His eyes were fixed in wide terror as he looked down at his hand. Three of his fingers were staining a malignant purple, with trails of black quickly blossoming around them. His palm had some red marks across it, but apart from that it seemed relatively uninjured, at least in comparison to his fingers.
Joey’s breath was coming in short, panic stricken pulses, and his eyes were lost in a fixation of pain as he stared intently at his hand. Warm tears had begun to run down his cheeks, though he didn’t seem to realise.
Corey gently grabbed his good shoulder, drawing his roommates attention away from his injury. Although his face was awash in disorientated affliction, he seemed to realise Corey’s presence.
“Joe, we’re going to the doctor. Shit… I’m so fucking sorry…” His words were small as his throat tightened in guilt. “They’re definitely broken. Fuck, I didn’t mean to…”
As he spoke to Joey, his injured roommate seemed to watch him with a whimsical expression. It was like he didn’t really believe what Corey was telling him.
“Come on, we gotta get you to my car. You know we’re too broke for an ambulance-”
“No.”
Corey turned back to him.
“What?”
“We don’t have to go to the hospital.” His tone was flat and emotionless.
Corey was frankly puzzled. “Well, yeah we kinda fucking do. Have you not seen the state of your fingers? Now, come on.” He turned to try and shift his angle in order to help Joey off the floor.
“Just let me take the pills.”
Corey froze. Slowly, he met Joey’s hardened gaze.
“Let me take them,” His tone was slow and quiet yet almost demanding.
Corey’s chest tightened as anxiety constricted his body.
“Joe, you’re not going to-”
In a single quick movement, Joey pulled his good hand to his face, which still held grasp of the open pill bottle, and tipped it towards his mouth.
“No!” In an adrenaline fueled movement, Corey brought up his hand and pulled away Joey’s arm from his mouth with a desperate strength, causing the bottle to drop to the floor and his roommate's body to recoil forward.
He had been right to trust his first instincts.
Joey met his gaze with a sorrowful, anguished expression. His eyes were a mixture of plead and sorry. Corey watched him while concern wormed through his chest. He felt tears start to well at his eyes, breaking down across his face. Without a word, he wrapped Joey in a tight embrace, pulling him close and never wanting to let go.
“Please… please don’t…” he sobbed into his shoulder. Joey wrapped his good arm across Corey’s back, feeling new tears start to drip across his skin.
Together, they sat in silence, warmed by each other's presence.