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Static tingles my face. I wrinkle my nose, but I smile despite myself. That fuzzy feeling took some getting used to; now it’s a feeling I wouldn’t trade for all the kromer in Cyber City.
Don’t tell him that, though. It’ll go to that big, molded plastic head of his.
“[Cathode], what’s the big idea? What time is it?” I manage to ask between chuckles and the softly prickling kisses being scattered across my face. “You this worked up so early?”
“Oh, Spammy~! Don’t you know what day it is?” Tenna’s voice is even more bubbly than usual. I have no idea what he’s talking about, yet it’s tough not to feel a little giddy. His energy is infectious. There’s a reason he makes such a great show host.
I struggle weakly against the sheets he has me pinned under. I don’t actually want to move. The bed is perfectly warm from the heat his processors put off, not to mention having him so close to me, showering me with this attention…
I have an image to keep, though.
“Okay, okay, enough! Haha—” I free my arms, grab the bezel around his face, and give him a quick kiss before pushing him away. “I, in fact, don’t know what day it is. I’m barely [rise and shine]. Why don’t you enlighten me?”
Tenna wraps his arms around me and pulls me out from under the warm blankets. I protest—I was comfortable there! Not that I mind being held against his chest like this. I can’t help but spread my hand across the metal panels. I contemplate everything that’s led to this moment. The sleeping arrangement is new. We’ve been having our fun for a while now, but staying the night… It was an accident at first. I got a little too drunk to drive home, he gave me a comfy place to sleep, and then it just felt… right.
I flinch at that thought. I learned at a young age that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Hell, I’m an Addison. That’s one of our key advertising strategies! I’ve just found it applies to me too. Better not to get ahead of myself. This is just another part of the fun! It’s just for fun. He’s just…
“Spamton G. Spamton, how can you not know what TODAY is? You’re so smart—oh, you’re messing with me!” Ant’s grin beams down at me expectantly. I can only stare, entranced. I also don’t know what answer he’s expecting from me, so I stay quiet. “You’re not messing with me, are you?” His expression turns thoughtful.
“Spammy,” he murmurs, “it’s Christmas morning.”
Static electricity grabs my hair once again as he nuzzles me. I close my eyes and nuzzle back, stamping little kisses across his screen. The way he turns me into a big sap, it infuriates me. Damn him.
“Christmas… of course. I knew that was coming up soon. Ah! It’s [movie marathon] day, yeah? Everyone will be watchin’, I need to get the commercials queued—“
“Hey.” Tenna holds me tighter, stopping me from squirming out of his arms. “There is plenty of time for that. No need to rush.”
“No need to… You feelin’ okay? You’re usually the one draggin’ me down to the studio.”
“Oh. Well…” His screen blips off as he sets me back down onto the bed. I sit up, peering past the dark of his face. He’s trying to hide something, and turns away from my investigation. “I… I love Christmas. It’s my favorite day! Seeing the kids open their presents, listening to the family laugh and play games together, watching movies with them gathered around me—!” His screen turns back on briefly, projecting a dreamy smile, but it disappears just as fast. He turns the blank screen back towards the bed.
“Spamton, I… I’ve never spent Christmas morning with… with someone before. Not like… oh, goodness.” He’s fidgeting with his hands and pulling at the loose fabric of his pants. “It just always seemed so romantic, and now you’re here, and maybe we—if it’s okay with you, that is—I know it’s cheesy, but—“
“Ant.” The poor guy, he’s gotten himself all flustered. Angel, he is so adorable when this happens. Sometimes I get him worked up on purpose just to see his reaction. Does that make me a bad guy? I always calm him down, if that makes a difference. Heh, the things this man does to me. I never thought I’d see the day.
I stand up on the bed and put my hand on his arm. “That sounds nice. Ha, and you know me, I’m not goin’ to rush to work in the mornin' if I don’t have to. Never been an [early bird gets the worm].” His face is shining again, a big, stupid smile stretched across it. I try my best to memorize this moment. I’ve never been a sentimental man, so I’m not good at creating that kind of permanent file, but I try anyway.
We lose ourselves for a time. Is this the feeling Tenna described, the romance of Christmas morning? My threads thrum, my code analyzing and adjusting for this new sensation. It‘s warm, like the bed, like Tenna’s hugs, like the blooming feeling I get sometimes in my gut when I look at him. It feels like… magic. I want to give myself fully to it, wrap myself in it, and never leave. It’s a dangerous thing, isn’t it? I can’t get complacent, but how tempting it is under the innocent light of his gaze on me.
Ant leans in with a softness in his sensors; it’s tough to see, but I’ve learned how to tell these last few months. I match him, angling in, expecting a kiss. A pop startles me, and I stumble back. A large, red flower fills my vision.
“Oh! Spamton, I’m so sorry, I—but I just remembered, in the other room—!”
I’ve barely gathered my senses before my arm is grabbed and he’s leading me through a door that didn’t exist a moment ago. I’m still getting used to the way Tenna can change the structure of this world. He controls it in a way I can’t fathom, rearranging spaces, adding and taking away at a whim. I’ve been working at the studio for about 7 months, and it’s still disorienting. I feel a vague nausea as I’m dragged through the new door, trying to get my feet under me. We come to a stop partway into this new space, and I finally get steady, leaning over to catch my breath.
“I’m sorry,” Tenna says, rubbing my back. “I forgot how big I am again. But look!”
I angle my chin up and see a towering Christmas tree. Myriads of shining ornaments are reflecting lights woven through the branches. The fire in a nearby hearth bathes the entire room in a flickering glow. I straighten up, walking towards a loveseat near the tree. I climb up to stand on it, getting a better view. The sparkling decorations are hypnotizing.
“It’s… It’s beautiful, Anthony. I’ve [never seen before!] anythin’ like this. Is this what Christmas is like in the Light World? Is this what you can see…?” I turn to look at him, filled with wonder. He’s smiling at me. His body is also reflecting all of the lights in the room, muted against some parts, sparkling on others. Stunning.
“It’s kind of like what I can see. I picked things I like from the movies we watch together, too. Lightners decorate their trees with such variety!” He walks over to the evergreen and plucks a silvery strand of something off, running it through his fingers. ”I didn’t want my tree—“ He looks over at me. “—our tree to look just like my family’s. We can add decorations you like too!”
“I don’t know the first thing about decoratin’ a Christmas tree. I think you did a great job as it is. You don’t need me.”
“That’s not the point. It’s for us to share, not to fit some kind of… ideal. Hm. Why don’t you watch movies with me today? I’m sure you’ll find a bunch of things to add!”
“As lovely as that sounds, I can’t. Those commercials ain’t goin’ to write themselves, and the new gift shop stock just came in—“
“You’re not working today!” He looks genuinely horrified. “It’s Christmas!”
“Aren’t you workin’ today?”
“No, I’m just watching movies with my family. I don’t think of that as work.” He sits down on the loveseat, his arm draped across the back. I snuggle up next to him, leaning my head on his chest.
“If you say so, Superstar. As long as you’re happy.”
“It’s the best time of the year, Spamton, truly! I can’t even begin to explain how perfect it is. Azzy and Kris are off from school and spend so much time playing games with me. Toriel watches cooking shows with me while she’s preparing all of that delicious-looking food, and then—and then! They bring MORE Lightners over! They all sit around me and watch Christmas movies! How could I not be happy? It’s guaranteed time together every year, full of cheer and love! I’m very, very happy!” He pauses, probably daydreaming about their time together later that day. I lift my head after a moment, expecting to see him staring off into space. Instead, my eyes meet his sensors. He’s staring at me.
“I’m… perfectly happy, Spamton. Happier than… I ever thought I could be.” Before I know it, his hand is on my cheek, his lips pressing into mine. He’s kissing me slowly. Does he know he startled me? My pulse pounds in my ears, my body is screaming run. Months ago, I might have done so. Instead, I forcefully remind myself this is Tenna. He is safe. I close my eyes and return the kiss, and now I feel his tongue gently teasing me, tasting me.
We continue on, the kisses getting deeper, our tongues and hands exploring. I anticipate further romance blooming on this aptly named loveseat, but as I prepare to escalate, he gently pulls away. I can’t help but groan in annoyance.
Ant giggles when he hears me. “Hang on, there’s something I don’t want to forget, and I’m sure I will if we…” He trails off as he stands and bends down next to the tree. Heaven help me, that view.
Tenna sits back down, pulling me from a daydream that would certainly land me on something I think is called the “naughty list”. He grins sheepishly and places a box in my hands. It’s covered in sparkling red and green paper, with an ostentatious silver bow tied on top. The box isn’t terribly large, but I have to hold it with both hands as I turn it to see the tag.
To: Spamton
From: Your Superstar <3
…
To… Spamton?
“Ant, I… this is for me?” I can’t bear to look at him, so I keep my eyes glued to the box.
“Didn’t you see the tag? Yes, it’s for you! Why else would I hand it to you?” The ecstasy in his voice fills me with dread. He’s been looking forward to this.
My heart is racing again. Spamton, you absolute jackass. But how was I supposed to know he would do this?!
Maybe there’s a way out. Just tell him it’s not time yet, make some promises, figure it out later—
“… Is… is everything okay, Spammy? You should open it… go on…”
—or maybe I just tell him the truth.
Shit.
“I can’t open this, Ant. It’s very sweet of you, but—“
“You don’t… want it?” I dare to give him a side glance and catch his antennas drooping. Uh oh.
“It’s not that, not at all. I do want it. I, uh…” I set the box down gently next to me and face him, grabbing one of his hands in both of mine.
Again, look at what he does to me! Being honest, being gentle, talking about… I don’t know, feelings? What the hell? I don’t even know who I am anymore around him.
But… I guess I kinda like who I am around him, too, even when it’s uncomfortable shit like this.
“Listen close, ‘cause I don’t like talkin’ about this, okay?” He nods, still looking glooby. “I’ve never… No one has ever gotten me a gift before. I… didn’t expect this at all. So I didn’t get anythin’ for you. I didn’t think to, and I’m sorry. And since I don’t have anything for you, I don’t feel right… openin’ the one you… Why are you lookin’ at me like that?”
I back up, careful of the box, anticipating another nose flower to assault me. Tenna looks overjoyed, and I cannot fathom why.
“No one has ever given you a gift? Honestly?”
I huff at him. “Why would they? I was never exactly anyone’s [preferred customer] before I became Mr. Big Shot. It’s just how things are for me.”
“Oh, that’s—I mean, it is sad. But it’s also—“ He’s fidgeting with a fabric fold on his pants again. He looks up at me, a goofy grin stretched across his entire screen, like there’s some joke he’s figured out that I’m not clued in on. I know I’m scowling at him; if he keeps this up, it’s going to piss me off.
“Spit it out. What is so fuckin’ hilarious?”
“Spammy,” he utters with quiet excitement, bubbling over as he leans above me, “I get to be your first.”
We stare at each other for eons. I want to keep frowning. I’m pushing myself to look angry.
Snrk.
I can’t help it, I burst out laughing. “Dammit! Hahaha! Really, Anthony Tenna? That’s how you’re goin' to phrase it?” I fall back onto the love seat, holding my sides, forgetting the empty feeling that had plagued me moments ago. What a dumb way to phrase it, and yet…
I get a hold of myself and look over at him. He’s chuckling too, obviously proud of himself and his "sharp wit".
“I couldn’t help it! Ha!” He takes a steadying breath. “I am kind of serious, though. It makes me sad no one has given you a gift before, but that means this one is all the more special, isn’t it? And to know I’m the one that gave it to you… That makes it a gift for me too. I get to give you your first gift!”
I reach over and pick the box back up. He has a point…
“Please open it, Spamton. It will be so special to me if you do. I promise I don’t mind that you don’t have one for me, this is better than anything else could have been!”
I stare at the box a moment longer. His hand slides across the back of my shoulders, resting on me. Comforting, intimate. All of this feels like a dream, something I would have hoped for when I was an ignorant hatchling, before I knew what the real world had in store for me. But it’s real now. He’s real. I tilt my head up to Tenna, and he nods encouragingly.
I investigate the bow, find a loose end, and tug at it uncertainly. It comes undone, freeing the box lid. I take a deep breath. What would he even get for me? Bah, I suppose there’s only one way to know. My fingertips find the lip and lift the top of the box.
Several of my threads crash. I’m frozen while my base code attempts to get those processes running again. I can’t think straight, can’t move. My eyes are locked on a shining object nestled in layers of tissue paper.
“What do you think?” Tenna’s voice sounds distant, but I can make out the undertone of pride. Entranced, I reach an unsteady hand into the box and lift out the trinket. It’s a large lapel pin in the shape of an “@“, gleaming gold like the “TV” pin he wears daily on his suit jacket.
"It's... perfect," I whisper. I'm entranced by how the lights dance across the pin's shining surface. It has a good weight to it, too; it's great quality. "... Thank you."
"Oh, I'm so glad you like it!" Tenna clasps his hands to the side of his screen. "You've become an important part of the studio, so I wanted to get you something representing that, and, ah... I thought it would be nice if we matched." The center of his screen turns pink, and he looks away to observe the fire.
"How did you know?" My voice cracks, and I cringe. What is wrong with me? I clear my throat reflexively. "The shape? Why?" C'mon, Spamton, put an intelligent sentence together!
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ant look back at me, monitor tilted slightly. "You've been teaching me about e-mails, and I know that symbol is important for them... I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, you know. But you're my little mailman, and they're kind of like mail..." He frowns slightly, the top of his frame gathered in focused thought. "They're digital mail... and you're digital! I figured it must be important to you, too." Tenna's expression lights up as he finishes his reasoning, clearly proud of himself.
My mind and limbs feel heavy, muddled, and yet... there's a glimmer of something else, fighting through the haze. What is this feeling?
Anthony went through all of this effort, put all of this thought into a gift... for me. For... me. Me. What does he see in me that no one else has before? What does he see that I don't? I don't deserve this, I don't deserve...
That unnamed feeling grows, wrestling against my own doubt. Its strangeness scares me; I've felt its spark before, its warmth flowing through me. I've run from it every time, preferring to stick to what I know, but I can't shake it this time. It tingles every part of my body, waking me up, reminding me I'm alive, drawing me in—
Zzap!
A prick of static electricity jumps from the CRT's glass as Tenna kisses my temple. I pull away in surprise, startled out of my spiral, shivering as strands of my hair rise to meet the current he gives off. He smiles apologetically as I look up into his... well, where his eyes would be.
Everything in his expression is gentle, genuine. I can't help but smile back. I feel more stable, more present, more... secure. Maybe... I do deserve this. I can't imagine him being so sincerely invested in someone who didn't deserve it. He's a bit too self-absorbed for that, not that I blame him. He's used to literally being the center of attention.
"H-hey, look at you. You're startin' to get it." I reach up and pull him into a quick kiss. "This is important to me." I turn my attention back to the pin, lingering a moment before placing it back in the box to keep it safe. "Very important."
His arms wrap around me possessively as I set the box aside. I wouldn't mind picking up where we left off earlier...
"[Tens], I have an idea." He hums curiously, prompting me to continue. I relax back into his arms. "It's not the same as buyin' a gift ahead of the holiday, but what if I take you out to a nice dinner in the city tomorrow? We'll do some shoppin' too. [Whatever you like], on me."
Tenna is quiet for a moment. I hear the almost unnoticeable whirr of his fans as he thinks. "I can probably step away for a few hours. We'll likely be queueing up more movies anyway."
"Only a few hours?" I ask, unable to control the sly tone of my voice. I turn around, leaning against his chest, spreading out my hands to touch him in just the right places. "You don't think we'll have... business to attend to once we get back?" I flash a flirtatious smirk, making my meaning clear.
"Spamton!" Ant laughs, but his hands find my waist, pulling me closer as he bends over me. "It depends on how many nice things you buy me." His fangs peek out in the grin pulled across his screen, and I realize I could buy this man a cardboard box for all he cares; we would still have a fireworks-worthy night.
"Tch, you think a big shot like me can't get you everythin' you desire? Plus, it'll be market research. I'll know what you like, know what to gift you next Christmas—" I freeze. This is what I get for running my mouth. Awkward silence stretches between us.
"Spammy, you're, ah... looking so far forward." Ant is cautious. There's a hint of hope in his voice. He wants to ask. I can feel an electric current of excitement flowing through his circuits.
Angel above, have mercy on me.
Pulling out my salesman smile, hoping it's convincing, I do what any Addison would do: diffuse the situation with humor.
"That is, I [assume] you'll be [good] this year. Don't Lightners get coal if they're [naughty, naughty~]? And you..." I arch an eyebrow in feigned appraisal. "I happen to [know for a fact] you can be awfully—"
"HEY! If I am, it's your fault! I can't keep my hands off of you." Tenna chuckles, but disappointment lurks behind his screen; he's trying to hide it.
If I could, if I knew for certain I'd be staying, I would—maybe I would commit. Probably. But what good are 'what ifs'? I decide it's better to enjoy the present moment, future be damned. That's what he wanted, isn't it? To enjoy Christmas morning together?
Filled with determination by the spirit of the festive morning, wanting desperately to leave the awkwardness behind, I grab the sides of Tenna's face and kiss him, my tongue teasing his lips until they part. He tenses at first, then melts into me, his tongue meeting mine. The room is getting warm, and I doubt it's the fire.
I disengage after a time, just enough to pull my sleep shirt off. He whines, trying to pull me back, and I can't help but laugh.
"You're so needy." I toss the shirt to the floor, careful not to accidentally throw it into the fire. Tenna huffs at me petulantly.
"Hey, look at me," I say quietly, placing my hands on his monitor case once again. "For as long as I am able, I, [Spamton G. Spamton!], will give you everythin' I can. I want to see you happy, Superstar. Whatever you need... I'm your guy."
Ant stares back into my eyes contemplatively. Nothing I said is a lie; I genuinely mean it. I just... don't know how much time that will be. My statement seems to be agreeable, though, and he hugs me tight. He whispers something, so quiet that I have a hard time hearing him, but the message and the sincerity behind it make my feathers ruffle, and my knees feel weak. If he let go of me, I'd probably collapse. I take a shaky breath, replying in a halting murmur. He doesn't move, doesn't say anything, for what feels like an eternity.
But then, almost reverently, Ant lifts me up,
lays me down,
and we proceed to have a very
merry
morning.