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halfway to practice, kaoru runs into adonis, who politely tells him that rei has collapsed from the heat and thus practice is cancelled for the day. “alright,” kaoru says, waving adonis off, and turns back to the second floor. it’s too late to schedule a date but kaoru doesn’t want to go home yet, so he ambles to the marine bio club room.
when kaoru enters, the room is quiet. it’s not empty, though -- kanata is sitting at the table in the back, head pillowed in his arms. kaoru closes the door behind him and crosses the room.
upon closer inspection, kanata is asleep. kaoru goes to wake him but hesitates, finding himself caught by the rise and fall of kanata’s shoulders. even sleeping kanata reminds him of tides and waves, of evenness and steady things. as kaoru watches a strand of hair falls down to kanata’s nose, and kaoru reaches down, tucks the errant strand behind kanata’s ear.
kanata’s hair is so soft under his fingers, and kaoru doesn’t pull away. slowly, his hand trails up, ghosting over kanata’s head, and then he pauses. in the light of the fish tanks, kanata looks almost like he’s glowing. kaoru lets his fingers spread, and then he runs them through kanata’s hair, gently, carefully, so as not to wake kanata. kanata shifts slightly and kaoru freezes, but when his eyes don’t open kaoru’s heart rate slows and he lets himself keep carding his fingers through kanata’s hair.
in the dim light of the marine bio club room, it’s easy to let his mind shut off, easy to lose himself to the steady rhythm of his hand on kanata’s head. slowly kaoru feels himself relaxing, tension seeping from his shoulders. like this -- alone, with kanata -- he can breathe easy.
“kaoru,” kanata says suddenly, and kaoru pulls his hand away. kanata hadn’t moved but his eyes were open, and who knew how long he’d been awake?
“kanata-kun,” kaoru starts, only he can’t think of anything else to say. his hand is still hovering in the air. “...good morning,” he settles on eventually, stuffing it in his pocket.
“good morning.” kanata tilts his head but doesn’t lift it, smiling up at kaoru. “that felt ‘nice.’” kaoru feels a blush creep across his cheeks, but kanata’s smile doesn’t look teasing, just warm. “kaoru’s ‘hands’ are very gentle.”
“i --” kaoru can’t quite look at kanata. “thanks, i guess?”
“mm,” kanata hums, finally pushing himself up. “you’re welcome.” he crosses the room to a new tank, beckons kaoru over, and when kaoru follows he starts talking about the new creature living inside it. kaoru stands next to him, keeps both his hands stuffed in his pockets, and doesn’t reach out.
the problem: kaoru can’t stop thinking about kanata’s hair. he keeps noticing it at the stupidest times: when he passes kanata in the halls, or when he looks out the window and sees kanata half-submerged in the fountain, or worst of all when they’re in the clubroom and the light plays on it the way it did the time he ran his fingers through it. he wants to touch it again. he’s wanted to touch kanata before, but never in a way that he wasn’t able to push down inside himself where it could lay forgotten. this, though -- this keeps bubbling up where he can’t hide it. sometimes kanata smiles at him and kaoru’s fingers twitch up for a second before he can stop them.
and then one day kanata finds him napping on the roof. kaoru’s eyes are closed, but when he hears footsteps he opens them and tilts his head up. the sun is setting, the sky all warm oranges and reds, and when kanata kneels down next to him, kaoru doesn’t stop himself from reaching a hand up to kanata.
“kanata,” kaoru says, dropping the honorific as he always does in his dreams, his hand in kanata’s hair, and it’s only when kanata’s eyes go wide that kaoru realizes this isn’t a dream. he freezes, hand still tangled in kanata’s hair, but before he can pull away kanata’s hand comes up to catch kaoru’s.
“kaoru,” kanata says, and for a moment kaoru is locked in time, staring up at kanata, an expression on kanata’s face that kaoru can’t recognize. “i --”
“buchou!” there’s a bang, and kanata drops kaoru’s hand. “i brought the --” souma freezes when he sees kanata leaning over kaoru, and then his enthusiasm drains from his body. “what are you doing here, disgrace?” he snaps, nose pointing up.
kaoru laughs, pulls himself up, doesn’t look at kanata. “just enjoying the day,” he says, and the weight of his turned-off phone is heavy against his leg. “but if you’re going to be up here, souma-kyun, i should go look for somewhere quieter to nap.”
souma bristles, but before he can say anything, kanata catches kaoru’s sleeve. “we’re having ‘club activities’ right now,” he says, and when kaoru looks down that strange expression is gone from kanata’s face, replaced by a smile. “would kaoru like to stay?”
kaoru looks down at kanata. already he feels less off-balance than he has all day. “okay,” he says. “i’ve already gotten a pretty good nap, i guess.”
kanata smiles up at him, even as souma protests behind him. “alright.”
something changes, after that. they don’t talk about it, but kanata stands a little closer than before, and kaoru finds himself in the clubroom more than usual. sometimes kanata leans on kaoru, his head warm on kaoru’s shoulder, and it makes kaoru take pause. his heart rate picks up double time, his shoulders stiffen up, but when he looks down at kanata beside him, he doesn’t run.
“you know, kaoru-kun,” rei says one day, lounging in his coffin during a break at practice, “you seem much happier.”
kaoru raises an eyebrow. “what do you mean, sakuma-san?”
rei smiles at him. “just what i said,” he answers, and his expression is kinder than kaoru’s ever seen it. “in essence, i’m glad for you two.”
kaoru shakes his head, looks away. “thanks, i guess,” he says, and thinks about how he’d seen rei leaning over the side of the fountain the other day. he’d been looking mostly at kanata’s smile, at the way the water dripped down the sides of kanata’s face, and hadn’t thought to wonder what they’d been talking about.
“sakuma--” he starts, but there’s a crash on the other side of the practice room and when they look over half their gear has fallen over and koga and adonis both look guilty.
by the time they finish cleaning up, it’s time to practice again, and when that ends rei’s vanished before kaoru can pick up their conversation again. he sighs but heads to the shower, washes up quick and then heads towards the gate.
on his way out he passes by the fountain. kanata is sitting inside it, leaning against the edge with closed eyes, water dripping from his hair and his face to the sun. kaoru smiles without realizing he’s doing it and changes course to walk over.
kanata’s eyes open when kaoru sits above him, and when he sees kaoru he smiles back. “how was ‘practice’?” he asks.
kaoru opens his mouth to answer, and then he remembers his conversation with rei. “hey,” he says instead. he glances down at his hands, fiddles with the edge of one of his sleeves. “what… do you think about me?”
he’s not watching kanata, so he hears rather than sees kanata pull himself out of the fountain. he settles on the edge next to kaoru, water sloshing up as he does. some of it starts to soak kaoru’s thigh, but he can’t move -- not when kanata is sitting so close, gaze focused totally on kaoru. kanata’s hand rests next to kaoru’s, close enough their pinkies overlap. it would be so easy to turn his hand up, take kanata’s in his. “...kaoru,” kanata says, slowly, “makes me feel like the ‘water’ does.” he tilts his head a little, but keeps his eyes on kaoru. “‘safe,’ and ‘happy.’”
it takes kaoru a moment to be able to respond to that. “...are you saying that you love me?” kaoru asks, finally. he looks at kanata’s finger on his, heart beating triple time, and holds his breath.
“i do,” kanata says, and smiles. “i always have.”
“oh,” kaoru says. he swallows, twice, and doesn’t pull away. “oh,” he says again, and feels heat creeping up his face all the way to his ears. kanata hums a little, still smiling. “does this mean you want to… date me?”
“if kaoru wants,” kanata answers, and gives the water a little kick.
“i…” for a moment, kaoru just looks at kanata. he’s still drenched from the fountain, hair falling in his face. kaoru twists to reach out and push it away.
kanata turns, and only then does kaoru realizes just how close they’re sitting. kaoru’s skin feels like it’s on fire everywhere except where he’s touching kanata. it’s only natural, then, that he leans in, closer and closer, and then suddenly his lips are on kanata’s, slow and easy.
just like that everything all jumbled up in him untwists. kissing kanata is simple; kaoru closes his eyes, adjusts his head, and kanata smiles against his lips. he turns his hand up, takes kanata’s in his own, and when he he has to pull away from the kiss he lets their fingers tangle.
“okay,” kaoru says. “okay.”