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Dick Grayson knows he’s too old to be squirming over a shot. Truth be told, he’d rather not let on to Bruce that he isn’t so tough when it comes to needles. He also knows that not taking an antidote for Poison Ivy’s latest toxin isn’t an option. With no other option, he holds out his arm and allows Alfred to administer the dose. Hopefully, neither Bruce or Alfred will notice him squeezing his cape like a stress ball.
“There we go, Master Dick. All done,” Alfred assure Dick in good humor. He pats Dick on the shoulder reassuringly. “Very brave of you, sir.”
“Alfred. It’s no big deal. I wasn’t scared.” Dicks hops off of the medical bed. His knees still shake with the weakness he’s been feeling for a few hours. The Dynamic Duo’s last encounter with the floriferous femme fatale ended with Robin getting a cloud of poisonous spores blasted into his face and into his lungs. “Now let’s go find Poison Ivy and kick her butt.”
“I don’t think so, Robin,” Bruce interrupts sternly. He grabs another syringe from Alfred and places it securely into his utility belt. “You’re going to be sitting this one out.”
“What? Why?” Dick scoffs. He’s trying not to whine, but the skeptical looks on their faces tell him he’s not really succeeding. “Ivy is dangerous, you shouldn’t fight her alone.”
Dick staggers and stumbles, nearly tripping over himself before Alfred grabs him.
“Now, now, Master Dick. Don’t try to do too much at once,” Alfred scolds mildly. “You need to give that antidote time to do its work. I suggest at least six hours of bed rest.”
“Six hours? That’s bogus!” Dick grumbles, stomping his foot. “I’ll be fighting fit by the time we get to wherever Ivy’s hiding. We… we do know where’s set up base, don’t we?”
“Yes. The Gotham Dam,” Bruce says before donning the cowl. “But you aren’t coming. For one thing, we don’t know how long it will take for that antidote to kick in, and I’m not risking you going out at anything less than one-hundred percent. For another, I’ve only got enough antidote left to give myself in an emergency. If you get hit again, it could be disastrous.”
“But…” Dick pouts.
“No buts.” Bruce states plainly. With his mask on, Bruce feels infinitely more scary. It shouldn’t be that way: Robin is Batman’s partner, Dick Grayson his ward. He shouldn’t be afraid of the cowl. That logic never seems to work out though. “You are going to stay here, do exactly what Alfred tells you to do, and keep yourself safe and out of trouble. Understood?”
“But it’s not fair! I’m tough!” Dick grumbles. “I feel better already, honest. Besides, I owe her one after she poisoned me. Besides, I’m not a kid anymore, you should trust me.”
“Being a teenager does not mean you aren’t a kid, Dick.” Bruce stands tall and crosses his arms. “You are thirteen years old and I am your legal guardian. You’re Robin because I allow it. You do this on my terms, not yours. Remember?”
“But I…”
“Dick.” Bruce lifts one declarative finger. “Do you need a reminder of what happens when you disobey me?”
“N-n-no, Sir!” Dick takes a few steps back, his hands immediately flying back to protect his bottom. “That’s not funny. You can’t spank me, I’m sick!”
Bruce snorts.
“If you’re too sick to spank, you’re definitely too sick to be out crime fighting. That’s the end of this argument.” Bruce sighs softly, and reaches over to ruffle his hair. “You’ll have plenty of chances to prove how tough you are in the future, kid. Just not tonight.”
“Aww, man.” Dick kicks in defeated frustration. There’s no winning this argument and he knows it. He watches the Dark Knight step into the Batmobile and drive out of the cave with his rocket engine. “This stinks. I never get what I want. It just isn’t fair.”
“You will find that life is rarely fair, Master Dick.” Alfred’s sympathy is sincere, but as dry as unbuttered toast. “Come along now. You aren’t going to get better by pouting around in the Batcave. I believe grilled cheese and tomato soup is in order, followed by a long bath and that most elusive of basic necessities: a good night’s sleep.”
Dick sighs. He can’t say no to a grilled cheese.
“Alright, Alfred. Let’s go.”
He lets Alfred wrap a guiding around his shoulder and lead him upstairs, out of the cave and back to Wayne Manor. Before they leave, he takes one last look at the cave, wishing he could be out with Bruce and teaching Poison Ivy a lesson. Before he can get too depressed about his rotten luck, he spots one thing that changes his foul mood.
The Batmobile may be gone, but Bruce’s motorcycle is still parked in its usual spot.
Batman struggles to breath as branches crush his ribs and vines coil around his neck. Thorns prick through his armor and spores fill his lungs. Ivy’s plants have proved too much for him to overcome, trapping him in their clutches and putting his life in jeopardy.
“You were a fool to come after me again, Batman,” Ivy gloats coldly. “After my most recent experiments, I don’t just tend my garden anymore… I control it. I’m more plant than human now, a modern day Demeter. And my babies do exactly what I tell them to do.”
She walks up to him, and the plants push him into her arm’s reach. She grasps his chin in a firm grip, her nails pricking and drawing blood.
“Surely you don’t think you can stop me from turning this cesspool of a city into my personal Eden?”
“I have to try,” Batman insists. “Your plants are dangerous to everyone except you, Ivy. Thousands of innocent people will die.”
“A small price to pay for their crimes against mother nature,” Ivy declares callously. “Humanity had their chance to be good stewards of this planet, and they kill it without a thought. It’s time nature responded in kind. Not that you will live to see it.”
“Your beauty is surpassed only by your insanity, Pamela,” Batman observes somberly. “Please. Don’t do this. If you stop and think about the consequences of your actions…”
“Oh, I’ve thought of nothing but this day for months, Batman. My seeds are all over Gotham, and once I pump Doctor Holland’s bio-restorative formula into Gotham’s water supply, it will take less than twenty-four hours for them to bring this city to the ground.” Ivy laughs wickedly, holding the cannister with the formula up like a trophy. Then she sets it down. “But that can wait. Right now, I have a Neanderthal in a Halloween costume who’s been putting his pointed nose in my business for two years! And you’re finally helpless. All of that muscle and intelligence is no match for my power.”
“So it seems,” Batman growls in defeat. “How will you finally have your revenge?”
“That is the question, isn’t it,” Ivy admits with a sickening chortle. “There’s so many things I can do with you. I could watch my babies choke the life out of you, which would be easiest. Then again, why deny myself the pleasure of beating you to death myself?” She punctuates this with a harsh slap across the face. “Hmm… and yet. Why kill you at all? No man can resist my the hypnotic powers of my pheromones. You’d be more useful to me as a thrall than as a corpse.”
“I’d rather die,” Batman grunts. “If there’s any trace of humanity in you left, grant me a quick and merciful death… we both know all it would take is a kiss.”
“Hmm. Perhaps,” Ivy considers, running her hands across the bat insignia on his chest. “Perhaps that is the most fitting end, given our history together. And for as annoying as you’ve been… you always were a damn fine kisser.”
“Then for pity’s sake, give me one last pleasant memory before you poison me.” Bruce’s voice trembles - the oppressive assault on his body from the plants have done their job. It’s the mad, rambling request of a man who already knows that he’s dead.
“Oh, drag me through the brier patch, Batman,” Ivy teases, taking his chin in her hands once again and lifting his head so they are eye to eye. “No need to be so dramatic. It’s just one kiss.”
Ivy’s venomous lips press against her enemy’s with no resistance. After all, few men or women can resist her charms, and those that can are defeated by the pheromones she releases. Of course he wants to be kissed, even though he knows the toxins she transfers will kill him in moments. And since it will be a long, long time before Pamela Lillian Isley will ever know the touch of another human being, she savors the moment and kisses him at length.
“And so it ends, not with a triumphant last stand or a heroic rescue, but one desperate bit of human contact from your enemy before you die,” Ivy laments, kissing him one more time before disregarding him. “Goodbye, Batman. Rest easy, knowing that your body will nourish my babies.”
When Ivy turns around, she comes face to face with a flying metal object in the shape of a bat.
“Ah! What the devil…”
“Keep your hands and lips to yourself, you flowering felon!” Dick Grayson instructs at the top of his lungs. Using the Batclaw and its cable, he rappels down from the window he’d been observing from, landing only a few meters from Poison Ivy. “If you think the Boy Wonder is going to sit back and let you get away with this crazy plan of yours, you’ve got another thing coming!”
“Robin!” Batman shouts. “What are you doing here?”
“Saving your life, Batman,” Dick hollers, somersaulting and backflipping his way safely through branches and vines that weaponize themselves at Ivy’s request. “No need to say thank you, though it would be polite.”
“You’re too late to save him, you little brat,” Ivy growls, grabbing vials of plant-stuff and throwing them at Robin like biological grenades. “He’s been injected with enough toxins to kill an elephant. He won’t last more than two minutes.”
“If that’s true, I’ll make sure you pay for what you’ve done, witch.” Robin follows up his threat with an effective mule kick to Ivy’s ribs. When he tries a follow up punch, Ivy catches it in her hand and smacks his face with the back of her hand. The force stuns him long enough for him to punt him in the ribs, getting revenge for the one blow he got in on her.
“Insolent child,” Ivy grumbles, grabbing him by his collar and lifting him off the ground. She slams him against the nearest wall. “It’s rude to hit a lady. I’m just going to have to teach you some manners.”
“Supervillains don’t qualify,” Robin answers. He uses his acrobatic skill to walk up the wall and over her, and then knocks her off of her feet with a sweeping kick to her ankle. “You nearly killed me last night. The kid gloves are off.”
“Believe me, I’ll finish what I started,” Ivy snaps, crawling to her feet and snapping a nasty looking branch from one of her nearby trees. “And no goodbye kisses for you, runt. The only thing you’re getting before your lethal dose of poison is a good spanking!”
The vixen of vegetation tries her best to make good on the threat. She swings the switch around like a sword, but can’t catch him. Indeed, the more she tries, the more she runs out of breath. Soon, she finds herself struggling to stand. Giving up the chase, she calls on her plants to do the fighting for her, but even that fails as they barely heed her commands.
“What… what is happening to me? Why am I so… tired?” Ivy huffs, throwing the stick at Robin and missing her mark once more. “Makes no… sense.”
“You aren’t the only one who can pass poison with a kiss, Ivy,” Batman answers, all of the strength back in his voice. “Of course, my lips aren’t natural. Rubber, and laced with a powerful tranquilizer. If it weren’t for your resistance to toxins, you’d have passed out in seconds.”
“Wh-what? How… you stupid flying rodent! How could you…” She collapses to her knees, barely supporting herself as she seethes with anger. “You planned this?”
“Yep. You’re an egomaniac, Isley. All I had to do was appeal to that ego and make you feel like you had all of the cards in your favor,” Bruce explains, kneeling down and pressing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Your new powers make you an incredibly dangerous opponent, but you can’t use them when you’re asleep. Don’t worry. You’ll wake up in Arkham, far away from any plants.”
“Damn you, Batman,” Pamela sputters as she falls to her side. “You won’t stop me forever. I will restore this beautiful planet to it’s… natural… state.”
Sleep overtakes her. Batman kneels down to check her pulse, then sighs with relief. While his backup plan worked, it was more difficult to execute than he would have preferred. Ivy's gone from being one of many dangerous criminals in Gotham to one of the single most dangerous. Hopefully, she'll be having an extended stay in Arkham Asylum after all of this.
"That was awesome, Batman!" Dick actually jumps for joy, pumping his fist in the air. "I should have known you had a plan all along. I wasn't scared for ya, not even for a second." It's a blatant lie, and Dick is quick to wipe his tears on his cape before coming closer. Watching Ivy kiss Bruce, knowing full well that she's killed several people in the same fashion, was nerve wracking. "Once again the day is saved by Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder!"
Dick holds his hand out for a high five. Instead, he gets a dour glare from Bruce.
"I told you to stay home and sit this one out," Bruce's voice is far sterner with him than it was with Ivy. "You deliberately disobeyed me! What on earth were you thinking?"
"I... I feel fine!" Dick counters, taking a few steps back in a bid to get out of arms reach. "I wasn't about to let you go after Poison Ivy without backup. Not with her crazy new powers. That's crazy."
"I didn't ask for your opinion, Robin. I expect you to follow direct orders," Bruce grumbles. This time, he snags Dick by the wrist before he can make any attempt at getting away. "I don't care that you're feeling fine; I didn't want you along. Poison Ivy is out of your league. What if something happened to you? Do you think I'd be able to live with myself if you got hurt again?"
"Of course I'm gonna get hurt again!" Dick argues, stomping his foot. "I'm a crime fighter! This is what you trained me to be, Batman. If I'm not watching your back and helping you out, what's even the point of being Robin?"
"That's not a compelling argument in your favor, kid," Bruce states plainly. "Yes, I've trained you. I'm still training you. And the single most important part of your training is that you listen to me and do what I say. If you can't do that, then you won't be Robin. Do you understand me?"
"Yeah, yeah," Dick huffs. He tries to yank his arm free, but Bruce's grip is like iron. "What's there to be confused about? Come on Batman, let me go! We need to get Ivy to Arkham."
"She's not going anywhere." Bruce grabs the nearest chair, a tall stool with no arm or back rests. "But you're going over my knee, Robin."
"What?" Dick shouts, kicking up a fuss as Bruce takes his seat. "Bru- Batman! Can't it wait until we... until later? We're still - eep!" His thoughts get cut off as Bruce lifts him off the ground and throws him over unceremoniously across his lap. "We're still on a mission."
"Like, I said, she's not going anywhere." Bruce holds Dick in place while batting his cape out of the way. "The only thing in any danger around here is your sorry behind, Robin."
"But Batman! Please, I - ow! Oww!"
Dick finds it difficult to actually form words as Bruce's hand comes down hard across his upturned bottom. The short green tights that make up his Robin costume might be perfect for doing acrobatics in, but they aren't designed to cushion the crisp, hard spanks of his mentor. It's not the first time he's been punished in this costume and he doubts it'll be the last. But usually they're at home, or somewhere more private. What if a security guard comes in and sees him getting his tush tanned?
"Oww, oww! I'm sorry, okay! Ah! I learned my lesson, really!"
"Did you now?" Bruce asks. He sounds almost amused, though there's still plenty of aggravation in that gravelly voice. "And what lesson is that, Robin?"
"I have to do what you say! Oww! Ah, oh, oww! Ay caramba! I get it, I get it!" Robin wails as he kicks about and struggles over Bruce's lap, grateful that at least they are miles away from the paddle that hangs in the Batcave. If he's lucky, getting a sound spanking here will save him an appointment with that damnable piece of wood.
"I'm glad you understand the lesson you're supposed to be learning," Bruce acknowledges, though he doesn't stop walloping Dick. If anything, he ramps up the severity of the punishment by aiming a few of those blistering slaps to Dick's bare thighs. "Do you intend to actually follow the rules now that you've made it perfectly clear you understand them?"
"Ahh, yes! Yes, Batman, I will! I'm sorry! Oww, oww! I mean it! Oww, really I mean it, I promise..." Dick sputters, willing to agree to follow any rule that Batman comes up with as long as it gets him off this lap of lesson learning. If it wasn't obvious before now, it's painfully clear that being thirteen years old and an inch taller doesn't make it any more difficult for Bruce to haul him over his knee and adjust his adolescent attitude. "I'll behave! Oww! I'll obey! Ahh! I won't do anything you've told me not to do! I swear!"
Dick's thoroughly reddened heinie is still throbbing painfully when Bruce stops spanking. He's quick to adjust the boy's wiry frame out of prime spanking position and into a seated one. His arms wrap tightly around Robin, the massive black cape of the Batman uniform engulfing both of them like a blanket of night. And in spite of himself, Dick blubbers and sobs and has a thorough cry over having earned and received a sound spanking.
"I'm glad you plan on behaving yourself, Dick," Bruce whispers, stroking his back. "You mean so much to me, and I'd hate for something to happen to you because you were too stubborn to listen. Are you feeling better?"
"Well, I'm not sick," Dick sniffles. "My butt hurts though."
"It had better," Bruce teases softly. "If it's not red by the time we get home, I'm gonna paddle it."
"Batman!" Dick squeals. "Don't! I'll never break the rules again, I promise!"
"We'll see."