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“Okay, he’s outside,” Benji inter-monologued. “You can do this, just be cool.”
Recently, Benji had developed a relationship with a friend of his. Zaid Hakim. Top tier chef, extremely charming, reliable, thoughtful… basically the full package. Benji had somehow managed to convince the guy to date him. Though he slightly regrets it because now all of his insecurities are coming at full force.
He struggled finding some composed clothes for this date, so he went with a casual pair of jeans and a yellow button up shirt. He was hoping he wasn't underdressed.
He wanted to give Zaid a gift. He saw in movies that the guy always gets the girl flowers or chocolates. Benji’s never been in a male on male relationship, nor has he really watched many movies or shows about a male on male relationship, so he didn't know what to give Zaid. So he settled on both flowers and chocolates, and just hopes things aren't awkward if he's supposed to get something else.
He's made extra sure to prepare himself. He ate a small lunch so he was still hungry, but not too hungry. He went to the bathroom three times before leaving. And he took extra measures in the past week to ensure he doesn't get sick before the date. Now all he has to do is go out there and leave with his boyfriend.
It's easier said than done. Benji’s heart was pounding and his legs were trembling with each step he took closer to the door. Soon he was right in front of it. He knew he was wasting time just standing there, but… he couldn't bring himself to open it. He didn't know how he was going to face Zaid with his mind running like this. What if he wasn't good enough? What if Zaid realizes he could do better and leaves him for someone else?
He stood there, frozen, mind running for a moment before his phone eventually rang. It was Zaid, of course. He picked up immediately. “Uhm… hey,” he answered.
“Hey,” Zaid responded. “I'm outside, waiting for you.”
“Yeah… I'm- I'm coming,” Benji responded, nervously.
“Is everything okay?” Zaid asked. “You sound sick.”
“No, no, I'm fine,” Benji says. “I'm on my way right now, see you outside.”
He hung up the phone and opened the door, seeing Zaid standing outside of his car, facing the door. Even with the distance, the two locked eyes. Zaid smiled. Benji smiled. ‘God, his smile is so hot,’ Benji thought.
The walk towards him wasn't any easier because of this. The steps were heavier and harder. He was completely stiff approaching his boyfriend. Two weeks in, and he's still very flustered by it all.
Before they got in the car, Benji handed Zaid the flowers and chocolates. Zaid was confused at first, which caused Benji to slightly panic. But when he smiled, Benji calmed down again. “Thanks,” Zaid said.
—
The two went to the restaurant, and surprisingly it was an amazing time. Well not surprisingly. Benji knew Zaid was amazing. He's just shocked he didn't say anything fucked up himself. They chatted through the whole dinner about games, friends, and shows. The food was amazing too. Well, most of it was.
Benji and Zaid were busy chatting away when dessert was served. They were cookies. They looked like chocolate chip cookies. Zaid offered to share them with Benji. Benji felt as if the date was successful so far, he deserves this treat. He took a cookie and a bite. The two proceed to chat as the cookie is consumed.
Shortly, Zaid excuses himself to the bathroom. As Zaid left, Benji was actually pretty proud of himself. Everything went fine, the date was going well, and he and Zaid actually have a lot in common. He thinks this relationship will go very well.
But he started to feel… weird. He felt fuzzy. And itchy. Everything was getting blurry. He was going numb. He couldn't think properly. It all just happened in a flash. Breathing was getting harder, his throat felt like it was shrinking. His head lowered and lowered until it hit the table. The last thing he heard before everything went black was Zaid calling out his name.
—
One second he was in the restaurant, the next he was in a hospital bed. As his vision un-blurred, Benji looked around the room. Zaid was seen standing next to his bed. “Benji, are you awake?” He asked, worried.
“What happened?” Benji started. He needed to know how this came to be.
“The doctor said it was a peanut allergy,” Zaid answered. “Remember the cookies at the restaurant?”
In hindsight, Benji should've paid more attention to the cookies. “That makes sense,” he mustered, throat still in sharp pain. Talking hurts.
“You might be here for a while, at least until the treatment is over,” Zaid informed Benji.
“That sucks,” Benji said. “I'm sorry.”
“Sorry?” Zaid asked. “Benji, you have nothing to apologize for.”
“But… I ruined our date,” Benji said.
“Benji,” Zaid started. “I didn't agree to the date for the food or the scenery. I wanted to go on the date to spend more time with you. Please, don't ever feel like I'd prefer an experience over your presence.”
Benji was touched. Here he was, hospitalized, bare ass on a bed thanks to the hospital gown, face still half swollen… and Zaid stayed. He could’ve left at any point. But he stayed.
And that's when Benji knew all of his worries were for nothing. Zaid does love him for him. Not his status. Not his profession. Not how he can benefit Zaid. Just his personality. Just his character. Just him.