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Keith had seen his life flash before his eyes once. At least he thought he had. It was as if his eyes had shut down for a moment, his mind then waiting in suspenseful darkness for the show to start. He didn't remember much of what he saw (or didn’t see) back then, but this time, the image was painfully burned into his retinas.
Navy eyes, short, ruffled hair, shit-eating grin and all: Lance.
And Keith was not happy about it.
“Supposedly, who you see in those flashes are the most important people in your life,” Pidge stated as the Paladins filtered back into the castle. It wasn't at anyone in particular, but definitely not at Keith. He’d very purposefully waited to leave his lion to give the others a distinct head start, thus avoiding any conversation about the matter.
“Damn straight that’s the case. My whole family was there, just like Christmas.” Lance stifled the incoming sob-fest, though Keith wasn't sure how much of it was real and how much was added for dramatic effect. He’d given up on distinguishing such things long ago.)
“OH MY GOSH, guys, I’d TOTALLY FORGOTTEN about the time I put a crab in my sister’s shoe when we were kids, and she wouldn't let me use her easy bake oven for WEEKS!”
“Hunk, are you saying that crab is more important than your sister?”
“No, Lance. It was a defining moment in our relationship. Don't judge me.”
But Keith was no longer listening. He found himself more and more caught up in Pidge’s words, allowing them to seep into every pore of his body.
Keith had expected maybe to see Shiro, after all the time they spent together before Kerberos, or the night sky lined with tree tops and a stray power line, or a flickering street light. Those were things he would've welcomed. Pre-established memories that left a pleasant taste in his mouth. Not a verbose jackass whose every word filled the being of Keith’s soul; he figured it was a fifty-fifty split of hatred and something he decided never to think about again but here he was, thinking about it now. Sure the blue paladin had a nice face. He noticed every time those midnight-colored eyes sparkled, how that gleaming smile always seemed to come next, and how it was always followed by some vulgar quip about getting into Keith’s pants. It was a joke though right? Everything Lance said was a joke. Totally.
“So, Keith, you relive any wild and crazy memories before we all almost died in space?” Hunk playfully prodded, disrupting Keith’s train of thought and bringing his momentum to an abrupt halt. Having anyone else in the trio try and engage him in conversation was the last thing he expected to happen. His gaze darted around his friends, attempting to focus on the conundrum at hand. When he reached Lance, a series of confused emotions rattled their way across his face. Did he dare tell Lance? If that didn’t inflate his ego, Keith would be damned, and that was not something he was currently in the mood to deal with.
“Why would I have seen anything?” Calm and collected response. Nailed it. He’d flown through asteroid belts before. They would believe him if he said he was under control the whole time, right? Lance shot him an incredulous look.
“Ok Mr. Hot Shot. First off, you’re totally lying. I don't care how good you are at dodging giant rocks hurdling past you at a thousand miles an hour, we all almost died. And second--”
“I didn't see anything, ok? Leave me alone.” Keith quickly cut off Lance's accusation, and high tailed it out of the room before a furious blush could explode over his face.
As Keith disappeared, Hunk leaned in towards the group and whispered: “I bet he saw the first time he kissed a girl.”
“Oh please, Keith is as straight as a piece of wet spaghetti”
“PIDGE.”
“What! Lance wasn't saying it.”
Only because Lance was partially listening. He turned back to Pidge, no longer preoccupied with Keith’s unnecessarily over-dramatic exit.
“Naw man, I just would've insinuated he hasn't kissed anyone ever--close enough though” He corrected, and ruffled Pidge’s hair. Before Pidge could lay waste to Lance’s existence for belittling her so, Shiro’s head popped around the corner Keith had just disappeared into ordering: “Mission meeting. Now.”
--
The mission had been simple. So simple that it hadn’t even been a mission. It was a training exercise, and Allura was absolutely dumbfounded how they could’ve fucked it up.
“Can someone PLEASE explain what went wrong? Forming Voltron and avoiding our enemies is not a difficult task for you lot as I’ve seen you do it an innumerable amount of times!” Allura all but shouted. Shiro stood opposite the princess willing her, with every bone in his body, not to have an aneurysm. If aliens could have aneurysms anyways.
Pidge threw her hand into the air and began to elaborate: “Despite being on a training mission to practice maneuvering difficult obstacles while fully formed into Voltron, we encountered an unexpected Galra ship, and due to pilot errors caused by lack of proper attention by two paladins, Voltron unexpectedly disbanded, sending each lion hurdling into the middle of the asteroid belt we were only meant to be on the fringes of.”
Hunk quickly summed up: “Keith and Lance were flirting.”
“WE WERE NOT FLIRTING.” Keith and Lance barked and screeched respectively, Lance jumping up out of his seat to confront Hunk and Pidge, and Keith jolting forward in a fight or flight manner. Allura and Shiro could have been seen beyond both completely unsurprised, and infinitely frustrated.
Before any arguing could continue, Allura immediately jumped in: “Flirting or not, your careless behavior put everyone, including yourselves, in mortal danger. I fully expect that, as Paladins, that you take everything that you do seriously; the fate of the universe is no laughing matter.”
“Objection! I am not a serious person, princess,” The blue paladin interrupted (Hunk nodded in agreement), “if we’re not out there trying to fight Zarkon, literally all you expect us to do is train, which is, dare I say, unreasonable! I can't be expected to be serious for more than 4 non-consecutive hours per day.”
“She has a point, Lance.” Shiro interjected, “even when we go into space for training, there’s always the chance we’ll run into our enemies.” Lance grumbled and recessed into the couch.
“Yeah, save your flirting for when we’re not forming Voltron” Pidge added.
“C’mon Pidge, all I do is flirt. Get with the game.”
“That is how he talks” Hunk quietly confirmed, “There was one time, when I first met Lance, I totally thought he was hitting on me, so I bought him flowers and it was really awkward but now we’re bros.”
“Besides, who would I be flirting with anyways!?”
Feeling a little disheartened, despite the statement being said mostly to cover Lance’s ass, Keith looked down, furrowed his brow, and fought the urge to stand up and walk away.
“Great. Problem solved. Are we done here?” he grumbled. Lance looked over at the red paladin, taking note of the weird mood he had fallen into. He should've expected this kind of retort from Keith, but instead it caught him a little off guard, which showed briefly on his face.
Allura looked as if she was about to speak, but Shiro cut in first: “You can be dismissed, Keith.”
Allura hurriedly whispered to Shiro: “We haven't addressed the root of the problem why are you letting him go??” Shiro’s response was lost in his quiet whisper, but Allura appeared more at ease when he stepped away to follow Keith.
“Well if he can be dismissed, so can I. Who wants to watch Star Wars?” Lance propelled himself off the couch in excitement. Pidge and Hunk audibly groaned, mumbling various “not again”s and “are you serious right now, Lance”s and “we’re in space...why do we want to watch something about space”s. By some miracle (deemed unfortunate by many of the castle’s inhabitants), before the blue lion shot everyone through a wormhole into deep space, Lance had a couple movies downloaded on his phone. To no one’s surprise, they were all Star Wars films, all of which had been watched countless times, and were now capable of perpetually eliciting sounds of displeasure from everyone who wasn't Lance.
Farther into the labyrinthine corridors of the castle, Shiro found Keith curled up by one of the windows that sparkled with distant stars; this is where Keith liked to hang out when he got stressed. The view reminded him of the night sky at home. If he could call that little shack in the desert home. He would think about it sometimes, and then decide it was probably the closest thing to a home he ever had, which made him a little frustrated, but zoning out with some stars in sight always seemed to be the perfect distraction.
“I haven’t seen you this angsty since Lance was in the cryopod,” Shiro opened, shocking Keith back into reality. That was three times today he’d been caught off guard. The embarrassment, compounded with Shiro’s sheer frankness, and the fact that he brought up the cryopod incident (why was it weird that Keith showed his worry for Lance by sleeping by the pod? What if Lance popped out in the middle of the night, and no one was there to make sure the pod did it’s job? It was a solid month before anyone stopped even discreetly mentioning it, but he had a feeling Shiro was never going to let him live it down,) caused his face to take the likeness of a stop light. Keith wanted to retort so badly, but any words he tried to say got tied up in knots at the back of his throat. Shiro gave a good hearted chuckle, and sat down across from Keith.
“What are you worried about?” It was as if a whole new Shiro entered the room, showing genuine concern for his friend’s well-being. Lance always referred to this transformation as Magical Girl Space Dad, but this Shiro always came off more as a concerned older sibling to Keith. Or at least what he imagined one would be like. It took Keith a minute to let his thoughts detangle; he wasn’t sure if he’d ever really appreciated how patient Shiro could be.
“I...don’t want anyone to know that I was the reason we disbanded,” Keith quietly confessed.
“But they do know--”
“I don’t want Lance to know,” he hastily clarified, his voice cracking, which only furthered his embarrassment.
“It was just as much his fault as it was your fault, and I think he is also aware of that.”
“No. I just--I don’t…” Keith's thoughts got tangled up again. He didn't want Lance to know because then he would tease Keith to no end about it. He didn't want him to know because it would mean admitting that he got distracted by Lance’s word game. He didn't want want him to know because it would inevitably lead to him telling a truth he wasn't ready to face.
Lance was more important to him than he was willing to admit. He set the bar for many things on the ship, which Keith used to challenge himself. (Keith would joke how low Lance set the bar, but would actually think to himself how smart and courageous the blue paladin is.) His opinion, no matter how often and unnecessarily he shared it, was valuable to Keith. Sure, most thoughts tended to come out as a jokes, but Keith was sure it came from a genuinely thoughtful place. But Lance’s presence more than anything affected Keith the most. Clearly, and unfortunately, not always in ways Keith expected.
“You should tell him what you saw,” Shiro carefully observed.
Four times. This was not a personal record Keith was keen on breaking. He would've sputtered if his mouth hadn't instantaneously dried out. He listened to Shiro’s knowing chuckle as he attempted to get his thoughts back on track again.
“I saw you,” Shiro admitted as he waited for Keith to recompose himself, “and the rest of the team, and Matt and his father. And I think it’s important for you to know because we’re a team, and we can't afford to be shutting down on each other like this.” Keith nodded in agreement, curling up a little tighter against the window’s structure. Shiro smiled and hoisted himself off the floor. He held out a hand for Keith, and pulled the red paladin to his feet.
Arms still crossed, and back still slightly curved, Keith muttered a small “thank you,” with a half hearted smile. There was no question that he meant his thanks, Keith was just beginning to doubt a reality in which he told Lance what he saw. Correction: who he saw. Shiro clapped him on the back, and waited to head back to his own chambers until Keith was heading towards the meeting room.
--
Back where Keith had left him, Lance had already started his movie. It had become increasingly normal, Keith observed, for Lance to be watching Episode Whichever alone, on his phone with earbuds. Hunk and Pidge had figured out how to macgyver a sound system and television screen of sorts out of the 10,000 year old Altean communications apparatus, but were clearly no longer interested in listening to Lance watch no one’s favorite space opera at max volume. (Obviously, it could go higher, but Hunk and Pidge decided that capping it around 50% capacity would benefit everyone in the castle.)
“I didn't think Hunk and Pidge were that sick of these movies yet,” Keith jested as he walked towards his teammate. Lance looked up, mildly surprised that Keith had returned from his presumably brooding adventure with Shiro, and appeared to be in good spirits.
“Whatever, man,” Lance fired back with that signature smirk, “only losers get sick of the glory that is George Lucas.”
Keith chuckled: “seems like the only loser here is the guy watching movies by himself.” In the midst of Lance’s “hey woah don't judge me, man”, Keith stepped down into the recessed couch, and plucked one of Lance’s headphones out of his head.
“Excuse you!” Lance exclaimed, “who said you could have that?”
“How else am I supposed to watch the movie with you?” Keith reasoned, starting to feel more comfortable as he defiantly placed the bud in his ear.
“Hate to burst your bubble, but that means you’re gonna have to sit closer to me,” Lance tugged on the taut cord, yanking the headphone back into his possession.
“Sit close to you and hear the movie, or sit farther away and have to listen to you yak through the whole thing...” Keith put on a pseudo-pondering face as he grabbed for the bud again, “I’ll take closer, and hearing the movie,” he sidled up to Lance, and resecured the headphone into his ear.
“Hey woah--I do not talk that much during movies!”
“You’re right, you talk too much all the time.”
“Well, I don't see you trying to stop me.” Lance wiggled his eyebrows, or did what he thought was wiggling his eyebrows; whatever it was, Keith thought it was kind of cute. Another chuckle unintentionally slipped past his lips.
“I don't think you’d like that very much,”
“But what if I did?” The change in Lance’s demeanor was subtle, but the second that Keith noticed it, he became painfully aware of the minuscule amount of space left between them. Their thighs fully pressed together, torsos torqued to face each other, Lance’s arm carefully draped over the back of the couch, the tips of his fingers in reach of Keith’s shoulders. He could almost feel Lance’s gentle breath on his, and his soft gaze dancing from his face to his hands, which were resting precariously where their legs met, to his face again.
Without realizing he was already doing it, Keith recoiled backwards, his heart stammering as it rushed every ounce of blood to his face. He didn't move far, but he dared not look at Lance; the look on his face was something Keith hadn't seen before, or maybe he had, but never considered it in this light. Disappointment maybe? He heard Lance’s arm slip down the front of the couch, his hand now visible in Keith’s downward gaze.
What the hell is going on, Keith wanted to wonder, but he knew exactly what was happening. Whenever this flirting game usually started, there was a line. A line set by their surroundings. Typically, one or two of the other Paladins were around, which limited how far the flirtatious words could go. In other cases, they’d be in completely different spaces, like in their respective lions, or using the castle’s intercom from different rooms, which restricted their ability to touch. But no one else was here, and they were in the exact same place. Whatever line had existed no longer mattered; it could be crossed, and it seemed to Keith that maybe they just had.
The silence was starting to grow uncomfortable. One of them was going to have to speak soon, and Keith didn't want to even imagine what Lance might have to say: that this was all a joke, or maybe that it wasn’t, or that Keith was interrupting his movie and he needed to chill the fuck out. Whatever it was, the second he heard Lance take an inward breath, he declared a little more loudly than he intended: “I saw you.”
The silence continued, but only for a brief, even more uncomfortable moment.
“...you saw me what?” Lance slowly processed, internally debating what it was Keith could have seen and how much trouble it could get him in.
Keith looked up at him in slight disbelief. He should probably be giving Lance the benefit of the doubt. It had been a whole hour since they discussed death visions in space, and everyone knew Lance’s attention span rivaled that of most goldfish.
“No, no,” he forced through his once again dried out mouth. He took a second to recollect his thoughts, and for them to regather behind his parted lips. Lance waited patiently, but clearly baited. Keith started again with a lengthy sigh that intermingled with his words: “when Voltron broke apart in the asteroid belt...I saw you…”
Silence again. This is not what Keith was expecting. He wallowed in the fear that Lance’s lack of response meant he was completely disinterested and not ok with this. The flirting was always a joke. It had to have been.
Right at the moment that Keith felt like he could have crumbled up into star dust and floated away into space, Lance shouted: “HAH! I KNEW IT!!”
Keith looked up in a stupor of confusion and anger.
“What the FUCK, Lance??”
“You totally lied earlier and I CALLED IT.”
“Yeah because I didn't feel like admitting that sometimes I think about your dumb face in front of everyone, least of all you--”
Before Keith could register what was happening, Lance’s hands were cupping his face, and their lips were pressed together in a hasty kiss. Keith did everything he could to not melt into a puddle; he was not expecting this in the least, and was still a little angry, but wasn't about to let this moment fade. He instinctively hummed into Lance’s lips as his hands carefully clung to the blue paladin’s shirt.
Lance broke the kiss, but with a small smile; their foreheads touched, noses brushing together.
“I saw you too,” he carefully whispered. Keith rocked almost violently backwards, the anger and confusion reappearing on his face.
“WH-THEN WHY WERE YOU SUCH AN ASS ABOUT IT??” He shouted, swatting Lance away (which did no good. The blue paladin kept playfully grabbing Keith’s appendages back.)
“Man, I thought you liked the flirting!”
“I do, just not all the time! I wouldn't mind a conversation with Serious Lance every once in awhile...”
Lance wanted to continue the banter, but now it was his turn to have his thoughts derailed. He knew Keith enjoyed the flirting (obviously he wouldn't continue to do so if he didn't,) but it only occurred to Lance now that maybe he like-liked it. And maybe it wasn’t the only way to get the red paladin’s attention. To this point, Lance put any forming verbal thoughts to the side, and swiftly reached out, grabbing Keith’s hand. They sat again in silence, but this time it was much less strained.
“I’ll just do this instead.” Lance almost inaudibly mumbled; clearly he was more embarrassed talking about his actions than, well, doing them. Keith chuckled, and leaned back in, resting his head on Lance’s shoulder in approval.
The rest of the movie played on in silence, the dialogue and sound effects mixing in their ears with the sound of shifting fabric as the boys moved around to get comfortable, to get closer to each other; hand in hand, legs never separating, a head always on a shoulder.
At one moment, Keith closed his eyes, and he knew Lance would be there anyways.