Work Text:
Today was like any other day for Venti. He played his lyre for a crowd of onlookers by the statue of Barbatos—his statue, as he reminded everyone who knew of his identity rather frequently, much to the dismay of Master Diluc, who seemed to always avoid the topic.
He wondered why. Venti thought his statue was rather tasteful, really! Ah, to show Diluc the outfit he had worn years ago… Maybe then, he could worm his way into free drinks. Ah, no, who was he kidding. Master Diluc was an upstanding citizen, after all. A very brooding upstanding citizen with a face like one of the birds he kept—a very handsome face, actually—and the same fiery red hair that Venti had admired in the Ragnvindr clan for generations.
As much as he liked to play dumb, Venti wasn’t stupid. He saw the way he could get Diluc flustered around him, and he was determined to do it more! And thus, as he idly strummed at his lyre some more, the plan thus to be known as the “Seduce Master Diluc for Fun and Profit” was born.
The name was a bit lengthy, of course, so he would have to make it catchier later, so that he could make a better ballad of it.
The steps were as such:
Step 1: Figure out things that Diluc liked.
This one should be easy enough, really. Venti knew this already. He liked birds, especially his falcon, which was very unoriginally named Dawn, and he liked the crystalflies that surrounded the winery and the soft glow of the lampgrass found in the wild. He didn’t like wine, somehow, but he liked grape juice, which was literally unfermented wine, and he knew Diluc had to know it as the owner of Dawn Winery. He loved Mondstadt and protected it, and Venti liked to think he was fond of its god, too.
So, with that knowledge in mind, it was time to consider the second step.
Step 2: Use this knowledge to buy him a gift
Sure, Diluc was a rich man who could probably buy whatever he wanted, but wasn’t it nice to get gifts for people you care about? Venti had gotten gifts for the blockheaded Morax in the past, and even his cold stone heart seemed to appreciate them. So, what could he buy?
Wait.
What could he buy? He didn’t actually keep that much mora on him. Ehe, maybe he should’ve thought of that sooner. Or maybe he could go try and convince Zhongli to make more, even though he was “retired.” Far be it from Venti to encroach on someone’s newfound freedom, though, and so he moves onto the next step.
Step 3: Seduction
This step was one Venti was hardly going to even dwell on before beginning. It was time to head to the Angel’s Share, where he happened to know—courtesy of the wind—that one Master Diluc was bartending today.
So, after dematerializing his lyre off to who knows where, Venti traipses his way through the city until he’s through the doors of the tavern with a wide smile.
“Oh Master Diluc~” Venti grins, settling on one of the stools right at the bar. It seemed to be a relatively slow day, for once, but Diluc didn’t seem to have any strong reaction to his sudden appearance beyond the raise of an eyebrow. “C’mon, aren’t you happy to see me?”
Diluc sighs and pinches his nose, but he does not deny it. Hey, that was progress! He didn’t even say anything about wanting to be crushed to death by a meteorite.
“Bard,” He greets, with the same stare as always. Out of the normal, though, is that his expression softens, and he pours a glass of dandelion wine before Venti even asks him to.
“Who are you, and what have you done to my Master Diluc?” Venti’s eyes widen. He’s not one to turn down a free drink, of course, but Diluc didn’t even mention his ongoing tab. “Suddenly get the pious urge to make offerings for you oh-so-humble god? I’m flattered. Maybe you could become a nun. I’m sure the Church of Favonius could tailor an outfit for you.”
Diluc glances around at the other customers, to check if they had heard anything. As if Venti was that careless. The only people nearby were drunk, or accustomed to the blaspheming bard. Ugh. Hardly anyone remembered that he was the three-time winner of Most Popular Bard in Mondstadt. Nevermind the fact that he’d only won it recently once, and the other two times were a couple hundred years in the past.
“What, think so little of me?” Venti continues. “Aww—”
“It’s as if I’m more concerned with keeping your secrets than you are,” Diluc huffs. “...And no, I’m not particularly interested in becoming a pious nun.”
An idea pops into Venti’s head—step 3 continuation, go! “You could always be a non-pious nun, y’know. I, for one, would love to see you in an outfit like Rosaria’s.” He punctuates his statement with a wink. Diluc looks, again, disappointingly unimpressed, so Venti downs his drink.
And to his surprise, Diluc puts another one in front of him. Holy Barbatos.
“Master Diluc, quickly, pinch me!” Venti cries out, holding his arm over the counter. “I need proof that I’m not in an evil dream universe with anti-Diluc, who’s nice and gives me free drinks.”
“Venti,” The name sounds odd coming from Diluc’s mouth, considering Venti had grown used to being addressed as bard by Diluc, or even Barbatos at times. “...Happy birthday.”
Venti blinks. Birthday. Happy birthday. His birthday? Suddenly, Venti feels very dumb. He looks at the date on the nearby calendar that Diluc kept behind the bar, considering the amount of drunken patrons who forgot the date, which reads June 16th.
“...Thanks,” Venti replies slowly, a more genuine smile overtaking his lips. This time, he sees Diluc’s stony expression falter into what was almost a soft smile.
Aha!
Step 4: Forget it is your birthday, then be reminded by Master Diluc being shockingly sweet?
“You forgot,” Diluc deadpans, and Venti smiles sheepishly.
“Ehe,” he laughs, neither confirming nor denying that statement. A small flush creeps over his face. No! He was supposed to be the one making Diluc blush, Barbatos damn him! Venti was going to strike himself down with lightning at this rate, or blow himself away with a mysterious gust of wind.
Miraculously, Diluc smiles more openly now. Venti hadn’t done anything, though? Except blush, but—
Oh. Oh, right. What had he thought earlier, right before coming up with his stupid “Seduce Master Diluc for Fun and Profit” plan? That he saw the way he could get Diluc flustered around him.
Because Diluc already liked him, and thus seducing was useless.
Maybeee old Morax had been a little bit correct in calling Venti oblivious all those years ago. Just a little bit correct. Diluc keeps staring at him, and Venti stares back, until he blurts out, “Then can I make a little request? As the birthday boy?”
“More wine?” Diluc asks, and Venti is struck by the urge to kiss the stupid teasing smirk off his face, but no, because that would ruin his next words.
“A birthday kiss?”
For a moment, Venti regrets asking, but then Master Diluc leans over the counter and presses a soft kiss right to his lips, and Venti thinks he is dying, this is Diluc’s murder attempt on his god—and he softly kisses back. He’s incredibly reluctant to lean back away when Diluc breaks the tender kiss.
Well. Being impulsive has worked out for him this far, hasn’t it?
“I love you,” Venti says, and it’s brief and sudden but he means it. Diluc leans in again, and Venti’s heart flutters in his chest.
“I love you too,” Diluc murmurs, and everything feels right. This time it is Venti that closes the gap and initiates the kiss. He’s certain he’s remaining close enough to Diluc even after that the bartender can hear his traitorous hummingbird heart, but he says nothing. Venti smiles.
“So. Um. Is now a bad time to admit I came here with a plan called “‘Seduce Master Diluc for Fun and Profit?’”