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The sun was struggling to shine on a bleak winter day. It was cold, the only thing keeping me warm was a thin black sweater I had stolen from Surge. Tails invited me to the beach to do some research. Eggman or whatever its name was keeps causing problems. Including blowing up a mechanic a day ago for some reason, while it was bad for the town it was good for Surge. She recently started a mini business fixing cars, she swears it's approved by the town but with the struggles she's been facing with getting a job i dont think it’d actually get approved.
Kit took a deep breath. Tails by the shore measuring…waves? I dont actually know what they were doing, i cared..to a certain amount but I didn't really understand. They're very engrossed in their work so they didn't really explain what this was about but they asked me to join in cause they needed to go into the water. The very cold salty water.. In hindsight we could just go into the water without all the science stuff. And I don't really understand why we were not doing that..maybe sonic didnt want tails going through that trouble. I didn't bother to ask, I felt out of place, just sitting here. I felt useless..if Surge were here she'd tell me to try and relax, but I'm not really good at relaxing. I looked around the beach, it was dead, no one wants to be at the beach in the middle of February. The sand was a gross brown, washed up seaweed scattered the ground. The sea was a deep muted blue, it was in general a very dull day. The sun covered by clouds only occasionally peaking out, the smell of rain that roamed the air, the crisp salt, sharp metallic earthy smell of the ground and sea. The lack of people certainly didn't help. But if kit had to choose, they would wish it was this kind of weather every day, the lack of people was nice.
Kit picked up the shell next to him. It looked like the shell of a bay scallop, it was broken and missing a chunk of the shell but it was still beautiful. The wave texture was still intact for the most part. It looked like it was tie dyed with a mix of whites and light oranges, it looked like something sweet I could eat.
My ears wiggled a bit as a herd tails walked towards me. After a few times of hanging out I managed to figure out the sound of tails walking. “Watcha got there? A shell?” Tails questioned as he looked back down at the “Miles Electric” it was hard to not snicker at that name…
I looked up at him, “yeah…” i closed my hand with the shell in it awkwardly
Tails groaned and gently tossed the Miles Electric into the sand next to me, I flinched and looked back at him, i think they noticed but didnt say anything about it.
“The thing needs to calibrate, I really don't want to wait for something like this..there's a million reasons why this could be bad! Something with the environment! Or eggman! He's been causing a lot of problems lately and there was even a sighting of metal sonic around the town stealing parts from the broken and blown up machinic shop! I just..” tails took a deep breath, it was a needed moment of silence as they listened to the waves of sea crash on the rocks. “ how..are you doing Kit?”
Tails picked his tails up and placed them in his lap as he sat down. “Ive kinda ignored you for a bit…” tails rubbed the back of his head nervously.
I looked down at the shell in my hand. “Im..okay i suppose. I've just been sitting here looking around..” Kit said gingerly, I sniffed and looked back at tails.
“Right, right..” tails moved their tails from their lap and looked around at the sad cold beach. “The beach in winter is kinda unsettling..” He shivered as an icy wind blew, “no one is around and it's devoid of almost all life…kinda like a backroom type of thing..”
“I..I quite like it..” i responded “it's nice no one bothers you, it's not too hot and no one expects you to go into the water. Although I'd rather be in the water, as a shark or maybe a jelly fish. no thoughts, no people to bother or hurt you. If you're in the right place it's the perfect warmth and you just float around following the waves and no one is different and you're all the same. No judgment. I'd take Surge with me if I could, I think she could benefit from time as a sea animal. Seems peaceful..less stressful then what life wants from you-” I cut myself off. No one wants to listen to me ramble about wishing to be some sea creature.
“Huh..” Tails looked in awe, “I never really saw it that way before..” We sat in silence. I never should have let myself go on that long, it's so awkward now. It felt so much colder now but I was sweating so much. Of course I just had to talk and ruin the mood…I took a deep breath, now was not the time to panic. If I had to go home and abandon tails here because I had a panic attack it would be so embarrassing and I'd just prove how useless I really was. Tails gazed at the water “maybe i gotta tell sonic about this, maybe he’ll be less afraid of water” tails giggled.
”If I were a sea animal, what would I be?” tails looked at me
I looked at him as I took a deep breath. “i..um.” It was strange having someone or anyone that wasn't Surge ask questions about what I like. It always throws me for a loop..one time i was in tails’ workshop and i happened to be drawing with some crayons, belle came in and asked what i was drawing..i ended up with Surge coming to pick me up due to how anxious her question had made me. “...M-maybe an octopus? Or a sea otter…i-i don't really know. sorry.”
I wanted to laugh for being so dumb but I couldn't bring myself to, so I looked down to the ground. I also pride myself on my knowledge about the sea but right now I feel dumb. Not surprising. I was too nervous over some silly question..too nervous over some silly person. Tails looked at me and frowned, I always seem to bring the mood down. Tails looked at the Miles Electric, probably hoping to get out of this awkward situation as fast as possible. Tails picked up something that was next to him and looked at it for a while. I took a deep breath and looked to the sea and the breeze blew the salty aroma to my nose. It calmed me down, I could hear my thoughts clearer. I cycled through all the sea creatures in my head. “A sea bunny..a yellow one to be precise."
“A yellow sea bunny?” they questioned “i get why yellow but why a sea bunny?”
Kit shrugged “..I..it felt right to me.”
Tails looked at me as I forced myself to look at the sea, he fiddled with something in his hand and looked at the Miles Electric once more. Tails broke the silence. “Man,I didn't think this was going to take so long, Or this cold.” I looked at the device, it wasn't even a quarter of the way to being done. “also, here” tails handed me a shell. “It was next to me and I thought you'd want it.
I felt myself light up a little inside, it was a beautiful bumblebee snail shell. It was an amazing random find. These shells are so small! Basically the size of the fingertips of an adult… I took it from his hand, it was a nice feeling that I could add this to my collection. I looked at the black and white stripes in awe, it's always amazing to find shells in real life and not just pictures.
“I didn't know you liked shells so much”
I stopped, I was suddenly so aware of..myself really. My ears were more upturned and my tail was apparently wagging that whole time. I quickly felt my face heat up. I gripped the shell in my hands and nervously brought it to my chest. “Uh..i-i well…”
“No, no! It's okay, I was just saying…! You're allowed to like shells…I think it's cool!” tails stammered a bit. “Do you know what kind of shell it is? I'd usually scan it on the Miles Electric but i dont want to make it calibrate any slower..”
I took a deep breath, I felt a bit of tension released from my whole body, it takes someone to say it out loud to make me relax. It also made me realize I was sitting next to one of the biggest nerds on the whole planet, made me wonder why I was so nervous in the first place. I looked down at the striped shell, it still had some dirt on it. “It's a bumble bee shell…its a snails shell.” I wiped the dirt off.
“Well, I guess it's kinda obvious why it's called a bumble bee shell..” he paused. “Do you know anything about the snail or are you just interested in the shell?
“Of course I know about snails.” I shot them a look “..not much but i know some facts” tails looked at me for a moment and I looked back at him, i was kinda confused till i realized that he wanted me to keep going “oh! Uh..they're a gastropod mollusk in the family Pisaniidae….they're actually carnivores and they scavenge for their food, many people think that sea snails are primarily herbivores but a good number eat meat. Bumble bee snails eat other vermetid snails, the ones that are harmful, and I'm also pretty sure that they live in coral reefs..” I scratched my head as I tucked the shell into a little bag for safe keeping.
“Woah..i guess i really need to keep up on all of my sea animals and snails.” he muttered "I never really think about the environment too much, i guess i kinda take it for granted.”
I laughed nervously, it was strange telling people the things I liked, I don't think I'll ever get used to it…or get used to people encouraging it. Surge tires she does, but it comes off a little..agrassive. I know she cares and I know I stress her out sometimes. I hope she's okay right now, I've been gone for hours now..surely she'd come get me if something was wrong or text, but what if she wasn't and she was hurt somewhere. I stopped that train of thought quickly. Surge and me are a team, and as she says I'm allowed to not be around to help and to do my own things. I took a deep breath. I opened my mouth to tell tails i should get going but tails got to talking before me, how serpricing.
“This thing is going to take hours to calibrate, do you maybe wanna go look for shells? Maybe you can make a collection? I saw you put the shell into your bag..although i wouldn't be surprised if you already had a collection..” tails looked to the side as he thought about me already having a collection.
“I have a mini one, I come by every so often to look for shells..” It's hard to find good ones in the winter but it's less busy. “Id..like to look for shells..if you want to of course..!”
Tails smiled and stood up, their tails whirled around kicking some of the grey sand. He offered a hand, I forced myself to take it. I couldn't be rude. Not now anyways, I had gone months with being rude to them. His claws were soft in my hand, it dawned on me that I had never really held someone's hand other than a Surge…even then it wasn't for very long. I stood up and brushed the sand off my fur. Once i was done and i felt that i wouldnt be itchy the whole time tails started walking.
“Where should we look?” he questioned.
It took me a second to think, my brain felt slower? More calm, like it didn't have to be running on 100% all the time. I looked down at our hands, tails still had my hand in theirs. I looked at the tide, it was high. “The best time to look is usually low tide but since it's not I guess we could go to the rocks over there” I pointed in the distance to a large pile of rocks. Tails nodded like he was actually interested in what I had to say.
Are hands still together As we headed to the rocks I looked to the ocean, trying to ignore the feelings I felt. I still wished I was there more than ever right now. I wanted to run from this feeling…the feeling of being calm. It was embarrassing that I wanted that. I should be happy about the feeling but I wasn't. I took a deep breath. I wonder what Surge is doing…i shook my head, that's not what i need to think about. Not anymore. I looked back at the tails, and I had no idea what to say to them. I sighed, this wasn't productive. At least when tails was doing his own thing and i was just sitting in the sand i was more useful. But now? I've just made tails do something he probably didn't want to do. It doesn't help him with what he's trying to do. It does nothing!
‘Are you okay?” Tails asked "we've been at the rocks for a solid minute and you're kinda just staring off into space…do you not want to look? I thought you like to do that..we can just go sit back down if you'd like!...”
I looked around. I guess we were really at the rocks, I blinked and grounded myself back to reality. Counting rocks and noting all the colors I see even if it was a dull grey. To be fair. The sun was starting to shine down a bit. “No. im okay.” my voices was timmed. “I was just lost in my head.”
They nodded like they understood. They never would. No one ever would. Not even the people I held closest to me. Not even Surge. “I think it's best if we start at the base…look through all the smaller rocks.” This was a huge waste of time. “Look for unnatural shapes, colors, and textures..or anything shaped like a cone.” tails nodded.
The smell of the small pools of salt water was crisp, more strong. It made me think about how people have come to love the signature smell of the beach during winter. No one ever knows why it smells that way but they appreciate it. I like to go deeper. The smell was caused by bacteria digesting phytoplankton less in the winter due to cold temperatures. I sifted my claws through the pools of water, it was icy cold. Made me wake up a bit. Tails was doing the same but less freely, made sense. It's probably best to not dunk your hands in freezing cold water if you're not used to it. The bigger rocks were covered in barnacles. Despite looking the way it does barnacles are directly related to crabs, it was strange but no one questioned it. The water was almost crystal clear, you could see all the tiny rocks and different broken off pieces of shells.
“Careful of the barnacles. They can cut you.” I said as I focused my eyes and combed through the water. Tails didn't say anything back, I guess he was just as immersed as me. I wish I could get Surge to be as interested in shells. It's not that I ever really tried though.
I stuck my full arm into the water and picked up some old mud snail shells. They were missing pieces and brittle but that's all shells for you. I looked over the pool I was at to make sure I didn't miss anything when I moved to the next pool. Time felt so slow and fast at the same time. Before I knew it I had a whole handful of shells and tails while he didn't find much and found a really nice shark eye shell. I tucked the shells I had found into a mini bag to keep them safe. Tails held his hand out to give me the shell.
“Why?”
“Why not?.. I'm not going to do anything with it. Plus i really just wanted to find something nice for you so i could cheer you up..” tails ears pinned down nervously.
I played with my thumb in my hand as I looked at him. This was all so strange. I'd never get used to it, not even from the Surge. What would Surge do? What would Surge have me do? I swallowed my spit, “..but that's…such a nice shell?..” I took a deep breath. "I-i…I don't understand why you'd want to give it to me.”
“Im giving it to you because I know you like shells! You deserve nice things too kit..” he said “you don't need to run from them, trust me. I know it can be hard to accept kindness when you've only received hate for most of your life.”
I reached out and gingerly took the shell, I shook like they'd pull it away from me any minute. I held it in both my hands, something deep down told me that this was the most important thing I own, but I also wanted to throw the shell in the water. Smash it on the ground so I count take it.
“...Thank you.” I sniffed, i couldnt take my eyes off this shell. I felt like I was being pulled into so many emotional directions. The air felt warmer but the sun that was once poking out was fully gone leaving no light left. It smelt like rain was coming. “I need to get home. Thanks for inviting me.”
I quickly walked away so tails didn't stop me. I dont think he was going to try..all i heard was him say bye. I walked up the stairs to the beach, when I looked back, tails was picking up his weird i pad. I started for a minute. All those emotions…there was one stronger than the most. Stronger than guilt or sadness. I felt stiff. All my thoughts spiraled in my head as I thought and looked at them. Finally, I ran back down, the shell he gave me still in my hand. I sucked in anything telling me not to do this.
“kit? Whats-”
I kissed tails on the cheek. I stood paralyzed my face was red and hot. My heart was racing as me and tails just stared at each other. This was a very bad idea, one of the worst ones I've ever had. I was dumb and now tails is going to hate me forever. I ruined any chance of being friends. I quickly ran off holding the shell close to my chest. I felt rain start to scatter on my face, the run poked out of the clouds. It looked like a sun shower.
The walk home was different. I was proud, nervous and hated myself all at the same time. I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I let him hold my hand for that long. What do I say to Surge? Will she care? She used to hate Sonic but I had no idea what she thought about Tails…does she hate him? Will she hate me? If she hates me I'd have nothing else in this world. Maybe it's best to not tell. I could keep this small tiny secret from her surely. I rubbed my eyes, the rain was light, people who had umbrellas looked at me like I was crazy for walking in the rain. I felt so out of place in this world, but when I looked at the shell tails gave me. It made me feel less out of place and gave me a tiny sense of purpose other than Surge. What do i do now…no one in their right mind would stay friends with the person that randomly kissed them. Never in a million years would tails ever talk to me again.
I walked in the door and looked around to see Amy and Surge still on the couch making out. I guess we both had a busy day. I dont think ive seen Surge or Amy so nervous before and i dont think ive ever seen amy leave our house so quickly either.
“..nice shell.” Surge awkwardly tried to change the subject. “Imma order out, what do you want?”
Maybe life isn't so unbearable. I took a deep breath and shrugged and then headed to my room, it was neat and clean. I should check Surge’s room. It's probably a mess again. I climbed on my bed and stood up and took the shells out of the mini bag I had. I gently placed the shells on the shelf and when I placed the shell tails I smiled.