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Eddie wishes he hadn’t sent Buck away to help set up at the auction. But he’d been stressed to the max with Alex working to find where Abigail and her parents would’ve taken Chris and having Buck around meant having the urge to spiral into sobbing against his chest. (And he didn’t have time to think about the feelings that would arise when Buck started petting his hair to soothe him.)
So he’d sent Buck away, ignoring the pang in his chest those sad blue eyes caused, and promised to call him if they found out anything. But Athena had ended up being the one to call him, or maybe she’d called Chim who had then told Buck but either way Buck had shown up to the hospital where Eddie was in a bed with a stab wound being kept overnight for observation.
“Buck,” Eddie says in surprise when Buck enters his hospital room. “You’re here.”
Buck smiles at Eddie, his eyes tinged with worry. “Heard you went for Chris without waiting for a police escort.”
Eddie sends him a look and shrugs a little. “You would’ve done the same thing.”
“Yeah,” Buck says after a moment. “I would’ve. Is he okay?”
“Yeah,” Eddie says softly, nodding. “They just quoted the bible a lot at him. Apparently Abigail suspected her parents were going to do this and was trying to intervene ahead of time. But…”
Buck nods, his fingers tapping the foot of the bed. “Is she okay?”
Eddie heaves a deep breath. “I think? She apparently has an aunt that lives in San Diego who left the church a few years ago that’s coming to take her in.”
“Well.. That's good,” Buck says before he lets one of his hands fall onto Eddie’s leg. “I was really worried about you.”
“I’m okay,” Eddie swears, his leg burning under the warmth of Buck’s hand. “I mean, being stabbed isn’t my favorite thing in the world but, better than being shot.”
Buck’s hand tenses on Eddie’s leg. “Don’t joke about that.”
Eddie frowns and whispers, “Sorry.”
They stare at each other for a minute before Eddie clears his throat and asks, “Don’t you have an auction to get to?”
“Yeah,” Buck confirms with a little groan. “But I’ll be back, okay? What do you want for dinner? Thai?”
“Buck, you’ll have a date to go on tonight. I’ll be okay,” Eddie says, waving a hand at him.
“I’ll bring some food back.”
Buck was not going to saunter onto a stage and be auctioned off like a lamb for slaughter while Eddie was laying in a hospital bed.
When he showed up, Chim and Ravi were in the back letting the hair and makeup department get them ready to walk out. “Buck! How’s Eddie?”
“He’s okay,” Buck tells them, eyes searching for someone that looked like they were in charge. “Where’s the director?”
“You’re not backing out, are you?” Ravi asks, narrowing his eyes. “You literally signed the 118 up for this!”
“That was before Eddie got stabbed,” Buck replies dismissively and then leaves when he sees two people with clipboards.
“Are you really that surprised? It’s Eddie,” He hears Chimney say as he zeroes in on the older woman and young intern who’s just taking it all in.
“Excuse me, are you in charge?” Buck asks, clasping his hands together.
The woman looks up over her glasses, eyebrows raised. “I am. And you are?”
“Uh, Evan Buckley with the 118,” Buck answers before clearing his throat. “Listen, my partner is in the hospital, I’m sure you heard about Eddie Diaz being unable to participate in this?”
“I did,” The woman says slowly, handing her clipboard off to the younger man beside her. “We understood why he wouldn’t be here. What else is there to discuss?”
Buck blinks and then chuckles nervously. Is she really going to force him to stay? “I can’t participate either. I need to be with him.”
The intern chimes in then, his voice nervous and shaking. “Sir, you’re our whole promotion here. We’re estimating a pretty big price for you.”
The older woman sighs. “You’re the one who signed your team up for this and now you’re dropping out?”
Buck feels angry and like he might scream but instead he pulls out his wallet. He’d taken out five hundred in cash to bid on Eddie if Eddie had been against going on a date with someone he didn’t know. He pulls the cash out, slapping it onto the clipboard. “Five hundred for Evan Buckley. Going once, going twice…”
Buck backs up, jaw clenched as he says, “Sold.”
Buck should be saving some money after dropping half a grand on himself but he just keeps thinking about Eddie alone in a hospital room, three stab wounds in his abdomen and a fractured rib from falling back after said stab wounds. How he knows how cold Eddie must be, how he’s probably pulled the thin, itchy hospital grade blanket up to his chin and is most definitely trying to not let the nurses hear his chattering teeth.
Buck is trying not to go too overboard but it’s so hard not to when it comes to Eddie. Which is why his shopping cart currently holds two thick, soft blankets, a firm pillow because it’s the only way Eddie will get any good sleep, a pair of fuzzy socks and now he’s in the chocolate aisle. Because as much as Eddie will deny it, he’s a fiend for chocolate. (He was 100% the one who ate all of the chocolate croissants Buck had brought to the station last month.)
The thing is, while Eddie loves chocolate he’s also very boujee about it. Meaning if it’s not Ghirardelli or Forrero Rocher, he’s not interested in it. So Buck pushes his bill up by a bit more by adding several packs of both brands to his cart. He knows he’s spending too much and that Eddie will be adamant about how he didn’t need any of this after the pain meds wear off but…
But Eddie’s also going to give Buck those soft eyes that make him look like a baby deer and he’ll thank him in the softest voice and Buck will be a goner. Buck used to have some semblance of a backbone but now all it takes is a slight pout from Eddie and he’s caving in to anything he asks.
Because Buck knows that so much of Eddie’s life was spent putting other people first; even at the detriment of himself. So if Buck can put Eddie’s wants and needs and happiness as a priority, he’ll do it every time because he knows Eddie won’t prioritize himself over anyone. Which is definitely leftover from putting his little sisters first his entire childhood and then becoming a Dad. Buck will never begrudge him for putting Chris first because Buck usually puts Chris first as well. But sometimes Buck wishes Eddie would choose not to be the Dad who doesn’t date anyone and doesn’t ever have fun and goes out of his way on days off to bring things to Chris’s school for a fundraiser the PTA is having.
Buck just wants Eddie to be happy, he never wants to see him cry or try to deny himself things so if Buck can make it happen, he will. Which is why he does this next thing.
Eddie: After your date with whoever bids everyone out, will you bring me tacos from the place with the really spicy salsa pleaseeeee
Buck: the place in santa monica?
Eddie: yeah :/
Buck: of course :)
So Buck drove what traffic made an hour and a half drive to Santa Monica.
With a bag of tacos in the passenger seat and the distance between him and Eddie decreasing, Buck lets himself relax. Not completely but definitely for the first time since before all of the Abigail and Chris and Abigail’s parents fiasco happened. Eddie is okay, he’s alive and he’s safe, is the mantra Buck keeps repeating to himself.
For a moment though, right after his phone rang and Athena told him Eddie was being transported to Cedars Sinai… Buck thought he was going to lose him. The panic and terror at the thought of a life without Eddie in it had made him sway on his feet and Chim had made him sit down and drink an orange juice before he could leave to go see Eddie.
Now that he’s had a chance to catch his breath and let it set in, he’s hit with how close he came to losing Eddie. He nearly lost the warmth of Eddie’s thigh against his on the couch while watching movies on Friday nights. The delighted ‘mmm!’ sound Eddie makes when he takes a bite of something Buck’s baked or cooked. Eddie’s smile and the way his eyes crinkle when he does and the way when he laughs, his nose crinkles up. The soft, comforting voice Eddie uses when he’s telling Chris something important. How Eddie’s shoulder is always bumping against his.
Buck almost lost the one person whose presence alone calms his nervous system down. The person whose hand on his shoulder can get him to break and spill out everything that’s going on with him. Buck’s done a lot of things for Eddie and there’s not a single other person that Buck would do those things for.
Sure, if something happened to both Maddie and Chim (knock on wood) he would gladly take Jee and Nash in. But he wouldn’t fill a parental role in the way he would for Chris. He’s their uncle and that’s what they’ll always know him as. But Chris has never called him Uncle Buck and it would be a weird feeling if Chris did call him that. Because Buck likes to think he’s already filling a parental role for Chris, coparenting alongside Eddie who’s his partner.
Buck tastes bile at the back of his throat at the thought of not getting to be Chris’s official parent unless Eddie is dead. He doesn’t want that, he wants to be Chris’s other dad now with Eddie by his side. He wants to parent Chris and a cat and maybe another kid, a girl with Eddie’s eyes. He wants to wake up next to Eddie every morning and go grocery shopping with him and plan vacations where Eddie will lather him with sunscreen and he wants and wants and fucking wants.
The thought of saying ‘my husband’ and to be speaking about Eddie sends a thrill down Buck’s spine. A wedding band, probably titanium black because Eddie’s goth phase never really ended, on Eddie’s hand and it being a marker of being Buck’s husband would make him sway on his feet if he were standing. Filing joint taxes and being Buckley-Diaz’s and having a costco membership together and family photos and Christmas cards and-
Buck slams on his breaks on the freeway, ignoring the horns honking at him as he realizes exactly what he wants and what it means.
He wants to be Eddie’s husband because he’s in love with him. Buck swallows hard, willing himself not to puke and presses the gas again because he’s in the middle of the freeway stopped like an idiot and that last thing anyone needs right now is for Buck to get in a car accident because he’s just now realizing what’s been a truth since he helped Eddie pulled a bomb out of a guys leg eight years ago.
And god, what a revelation that is. Eddie, who’d helped him get over Abby. Eddie, who’d held his hand when a 50,000 pound truck was on his leg. Eddie, who’d helped do physical therapy and shower and listened to him bitch and moan without a complaint after the truck had been removed off his leg. Eddie, who’d forgave him after Buck lost his son in a tsunami and after Buck sued the 118. Eddie, who he’d clawed at the ground for so hard he’s split his nails underneath his gloves. Eddie, who put up with Taylor Kelly even though he hated her for Buck. Eddie, who Buck crawled under a firetruck to pull towards him, towards safety, after some psycho shot him in broad daylight. Eddie, who gave Buck custody of his son, the most precious thing Eddie had ever been in charge of. Eddie, who counted the number of minutes and seconds Buck’s heart had stopped after the lightning strike. Eddie, who forgave Buck after he sprained his ankle. Eddie, who Buck took over a lease for so he could go get their son.
Eddie who is straight.
Buck releases a shaky breath he’d been holding. It didn’t matter how much of a truth it was, it didn’t mean anything. The desperate desire to have Eddie in his life as more than just a friend would never come to fruition. Buck would never stand at an altar with Eddie and say vows and share a kiss after someone pronounced them husbands. They would never take family photos or send a Christmas card from the Buckley-Diaz’s or wake up together and share a good morning kiss.
But fuck did he want it. Buck couldn’t have it though and he needed to get over it and quick. Because he was fifteen minutes out from the hospital that held a room for Edmundo Diaz, who Buck could not let his mask slip in front of because the last thing Eddie needed to worry about right now was Buck’s feelings.
Buck shakes his head as if that could rid him of the overwhelming knowledge that he’s in love with Eddie and grabs his phone while he’s at a red light. He finds Chris’s name and calls him, 10% because Eddie will ask about him and 90% because he wants to check on the kid that Buck is now thinking of as his. (Or maybe he’s always thought of Chris as his since the day he walked into Buck’s life.)
“Hi, Buck,” Chris answers in a way that tells him he was expecting this call. “Ravi told me you didn’t do the auction.”
“Why are you talking to Ravi about that?” Buck asks in a teasing tone, faking defensiveness. He feels lighter already with that sound of Chris’s laugh filtering his car speakers. “Why are you talking to Ravi at all?”
“We swap chronic pain tips and tricks,” Chris says and Buck can hear the eye roll. Chris, who used to laugh at everything Buck said is now rolling his eyes at Buck. Just like he does with his Dad. Buck doesn’t let himself cry, maybe just tears up a little. “How did you get out of the auction? And why?”
“I wasn’t going to let your Dad sit in a hospital room alone, bud,” Buck says, turning onto the road that will take him right to Eddie. “How are you doing? And don’t get defensive because I’m asking, if you don’t answer me your Dad is going to call you again when I get to his room. And he’s probably on morphine now.”
Chris huffs. “I’m fine. It was just kind of like being at church with Grandma and Abuelo in Texas. Just bible verses and a whole lot of what sends you to hell. They were really homophobic, by the way. I didn’t defend you because they were super creepy. Sorry.”
Buck would laughed but he’s too busy thinking of how Chris could’ve been hurt alongside Eddie. He clears his throat past the lump forming and says, “It’s okay. I uh, I’m really glad you’re okay, superman.”
Buck hasn’t used that nickname since Chris was ten and started making a face at it, proving he’d outgrown the childish nickname. But Buck let it slip because Chris could’ve very well been hurt today and thought makes his throat burn and tears were swimming in his eyes.
“Me too,” Chris says softly and Buck knows he’s got the solemn look on his face that makes him look so much like Eddie that it always sways Buck on his feet. “Can we get that breakfast burrito place tomorrow when you pick me up? We can bring one to Dad.”
Because of course Chris knows that Buck will pick him up before Pepa has to go to work and of course they can get whatever Chris wants to eat and of course they’ll bring breakfast to Eddie when they go to pick him up from the hospital. “Yeah. Of course. Your Dad’ll be grouchy in the morning.”
“Are you surprised? You know he’s not a morning person. I don’t know how he made it in the Army,” Chris says and Buck looses a laugh, shaking his head.
“Because he knew he was doing it for you,” Buck says softly, turning into the parking garage. “Listen, I just got to the hospital. Are you sure you’re doing okay?”
“Yes, Buck,” Chris groans through the phone. “Tell Dad I love him. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay. Love you,” Buck says, holding his breath.
“Love you, too, Buck.”
The call ends and Buck pulls into a spot. He puts the truck in park and unbuckles his seatbelt and then lets his forehead drop to the steering wheel. He’s thinking of Chris as his and Eddie’s son, he’s thinking of Eddie in a tux and slipping a ring onto his finger and vowing his life to Eddie. He’s thinking of kissing Eddie in the morning and at the station and over the middle console of his truck and in the kitchen of Eddie’s house and in the grocery store and- Buck sighs heavily and lifts his head to press the heels of his hands against his eyes.
He has to stop. He cannot go into Eddie’s hospital room thinking of kissing Eddie. He groans and drops his hands, staring at the concrete wall of the parking garage with a determined expression. “You are going to go up to Eddie’s room and you are going to eat tacos together. You’re going to laugh at whatever the morphine is making him say or do but you are not going to think about kissing him. Under no circumstances are you to think about kissing your straight best friend who’s in a hospital bed with three stab wounds and a fractured rib. Do not.”
Buck nods like Bobby’s just given him a dressing down and grabs the bag of tacos from the passenger seat and his keys from under the radio before getting out and arranging the bags with the blankets, pillow, and candy on his arms. He makes one last grab for his and Eddie’s cokes (his with no ice) from the cupholder before setting off for Eddie’s room.
When he gets in the room, the bags are digging into his arm so hard that Buck wants to throw everything on the ground and collapse into the chair by Eddie’s bed. But then Eddie smiles at him, eyes sleepy and says, “Buck,” but it comes out as Buuuuccckkk slightly slurred.
“Wow, Eds, that morphine treating you nice?” Buck jokes, coming round to the side of the bed to set the two cokes and bag of food down.
Eddie honest to god giggles and nods. “Feels like- ‘member when we ate those brownies?”
Buck chuckles and nods, setting the bags of things he’d bought to make Eddie more comfortable, for one night damn it, on the end of the bed. “I remember that you cried.”
“‘Thena is scaaarrryyy,” Eddie says through laughter. “What’s all that?”
“Well, I know you get cold,” Buck tells him, pulling out the two blankets and removing the packaging on them before he shakes them both out and stacks them on Eddie. “Good?”
Eddie makes a ‘mmm’ sound as he burrows under the blankets. “So good. Wish I had-“
“A better pillow?” Buck fills in, pulling the pillow up from where he’d dropped it on the ground in its box.
Eddie gasps, eyes wide and delighted. “You are the best.”
“Only for you,” Buck says, pulling the pillow out of the box and stepping closer to Eddie. “C’mon, honey, sit up.”
Buck’s heart pounds at the pet name he let slip out of his mouth but Eddie sits up, one hand grasping Buck’s shoulder. Buck situates the pillow behind Eddie and then gently pushes him back against it. “Better?”
Eddie doesn’t move his hand from Buck but does let it slide down until he can tangle his fingers with Buck’s. He pulls Buck’s hand to his mouth, holding Buck’s gaze, as he presses a firm kiss to the back of Buck’s hand. “Don’t deserve you.”
Do not kiss him, do not kiss him, do not- Buck tells his inner voice to fuck off as he leans down and presses a firm kiss to Eddie’s forehead. “You deserve so much more than me.”
Eddie blinks as Buck pulls away and grabs the last bag at the end of the bed. “There’s more?”
Buck pulls the socks out and uncovers Eddie’s feet, pulling off the hospital issued ones and sliding the fuzzy dark purple ones on. “Got some chocolate too, the good kind before you get uppity about it. But you have to eat dinner first.”
Eddie huffs with a pout as Buck covers his feet back up. “Yes, Dad. Oh! I wanna check on Chris!”
“Already did,” Buck says, pulling out the three tacos he’d ordered for Eddie and setting them on the side table. He unfolds two napkins and sets one on Eddie’s lap and tucks one into the front of Eddie’s hospital gown like a bib. “He’s doing good. He said to tell you he loves you. I’m picking him up in the morning before Pepa goes to work then we’re bringing you a breakfast burrito. Unless you want something else, I know you like the chocolate chip bagels from the place near my old place.”
Eddie takes the tacos Buck’s holding out to him and smiles so fondly at Buck. “You know me so well. Nobody’s ever known me like you do.”
It’s because I’ve been in love with you since the moment I laid eyes on you. Buck wills the thought away and smiles. “That’s what a best friend does, Eds.”
“I love you.”
Buck looks up so fast his neck cracks a little. “Sorry?”
“I love you,” Eddie repeats, pouring the spicy salsa he’d asked Buck for onto one of his tacos. “Have for a while.”
Buck’s ears are ringing and he knows Eddie’s high off his ass on morphine but he’s saying words Buck didn’t think he’d ever get. “As- As a friend?”
Eddie shakes his head, sucking a smear of salsa off his thumb as he looks at Buck. “No. Like- like a husband. Too high to make it sound more put together. Sorry, ‘s not romantic.”
Buck is lucky they’re in a hospital because he may pass out. “You’re on drugs. You- You’re straight.”
Eddie tilts his head, squinting with a mouth full of taco. He talks with his mouth full because he’s a child and also high, “Am I? ‘Cause I wanna suck your-“
“Shh!” Buck says, glancing towards the open room door. “I can’t- Tell me that when you’re not on morphine.”
“Okay,” Eddie says with a shrug. “It’s like you don’t believe me or something.”
“I don’t because you’re straight,” Buck says, sitting firmly in the chair beside Eddie’s bed, his heart pounding like a stampede of elephants.
“Tell that to my dick.”
Buck wonders if the nurses will give him a xanax.
Eddie wakes up with a dry mouth and a throbbing pain in his side. Buck is gone from the couch he uncomfortably slept onlast night but there’s a note on the bedside table saying he went to pick up Chris.
“Good morning, Mr Diaz,” A nurse, Clara her badge ID reads. “How’s your pain? Would you like me to push more morphine? Your friend said he’d be back in about an hour to pick you up but we can make you comfortable until he comes back.”
Tell me that when you’re not on morphine. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“Uh, no,” Eddie replies, shaking his head. “Just some tylenol, maybe?”
“You got it,” Clara says, smiling warmly at him.
Eddie’s head falls back on the pillow after Clara leaves to get him tylenol. He confessed his love to Buck last night. He’d implied he wanted to suck Buck’s dick. Neither of which are a lie but he didn't have to say it while high on morphine and lying in bed with stab wounds and a fractured rib!
He’d be freaking out a bit more if Buck hadn’t looked… hopeful when he’d said it. Scared, yeah, but Buck had looked hopeful and he’d called Eddie ‘honey’ last night. Eddie runs his hands over the soft fuzzy blanket covering his body, and settles back more comfortably against the pillow Buck had bought him. Buck had spent probably over a hundred dollars just so Eddie could be comfortable for only one night in the hospital.
Eddie swallows down the lump in his throat and blinks back tears. Buck deserved more than a slurred love confession brought out by the confidence the morphine had given Eddie. He deserved so much more but Eddie couldn’t do anything about it when he knew Buck would be expecting some kind of explanation today.
Buck will be hovering over him at home, not for an explanation but just because he’ll want to make sure Eddie is okay. So he won’t be able to really plan anything for Buck. He’ll just have to… be honest and hope it’s enough for Buck.
(In Eddie’s opinion, nothing he does will ever be enough for Buck but he has to stop deciding what is good enough for other people.)
When Buck comes back, Eddie’s sitting on the edge of the bed staring down at the fuzzy purple socks. Chris is with him and he says, “Dad! We got you a burrito and a chocolate chip bagel ‘cause Buck said you deserve both.”
Eddie looks at Buck for just a second before he looks away in a hurry, smiling at his son. “Well, I did get stabbed.”
“And I got kidnapped, your point?” Chris shoots back and Eddie really wishes Chris had inherited literally anything else from him besides a smart mouth.
“Noted,” Eddie says before pointing to the bag with a change of clothes Athena had dropped off before Buck and Chris had gotten there. “Will you hand me that bag? It’s got my change of clothes in it.”
Buck moves before Chris can, scooping the bag off the stiff couch in Eddie’s room. “Chris, Hen’s gonna pick you up downstairs soon to take you to school. You wanna go wait on her while your Dad gets dressed?”
Chris nods and then comes to stand in front of Eddie. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”
Eddie breathes in a sharp breath and reaches out a hand, pulling Chris into him and ignoring the pain that radiates through his side. “I love you, kid.”
“I love you, too, Dad,” Chris whispers into his shoulder, his voice a little wet. “I promise I won’t take rides from anyone again unless you tell me to.”
Eddie snorts, pulling away and running a hand under his nose. “Don’t make me force you to stay here while Buck gets me dressed.”
Chris wrinkles his nose in distaste. “No, thanks. Plus, Buck put an air tag in one of my crutches, so.”
Eddie looks up at Buck who sheepishly shrugs. “Good idea. Maybe I should sew one into every pair of shoes you have.”
“Dad,” Chris groans, making a disgruntled face.
“He has one in his bookbag, too,” Buck says, ruffling Chris’s curls. “Hen’s probably already downstairs.”
“Yeah, Denny just texted,” Chris says, fixing his curls and putting his phone in his jacket pocket. “Bye Dad, bye Buck, love you guys!”
“Love you,” they both call after him and then Buck is stepping closer to the bed with the small duffle bag in his hand.
“You need help getting dressed, I don’t want you popping a stitch,” Buck says, avoiding his eyes and setting the bag down.
The tension in the room is palpable and Eddie’s too nervous to speak a word. Buck motions for him to lean forward and he unties the hospital gown from behind Eddie’s neck. Eddie helps him shimmy it off until he’s sitting in just a pair of briefs and purple socks in front of Buck.
Buck pulls out a t-shirt and says, “We’re gonna put this on very slowly. Seriously, tell me if it hurts none of that tough guy shit today.”
“Okay,” Eddie whispers and Buck rolls the body of the shirt until his hands are just holding the neck of it open to slip over Eddie’s head.
Buck’s face is so close to his when the shirt is just around his neck and Eddie wants to lean in and lick at the stubble on Buck’s jaw. “Can you hold your arms up or will that hurt too much?”
“I can try,” Eddie says in a quiet voice before lifting his arms, wincing at how it pulls at his stitches and his rib throbs. “It’s manageable.”
Buck nods, still avoiding making eye contact as he bends Eddie’s arms slightly to slip them into the shirt and then pulls it down over his torso. Buck grabs the loose sweat pants and then kneels down in front of Eddie. Eddie has to think about dead bodies instead of what else Buck could be doing on his knees right now with his face so close to Eddie’s crotch.
Buck gets Eddie’s feet in the sweats and then pulls them halfway up Eddie’s thighs. “Can you stand?”
Eddie nods but when Buck straightens he puts his hands on Buck’s shoulders to help him up. Eddie lets out a small grunt of pain but manages to get off the bed and Buck pulls the pants up the rest of the way. “The morphine isn’t helping you as much as it did last night.”
Buck goes to pull away after his comment but Eddie’s firm grip on his shoulders makes him stay and Eddie whispering his name makes him finally, finally look Eddie in the eye. They’re so close it would just take one of them to sway forward slightly and they’d be kissing.
“I’m not on morphine anymore,” Eddie says, his eyes darting all over Buck’s face. Eddie can feel Buck’s pulse speed up under where his hand has moved to cup the side of Buck’s neck.
“You’re not,” Buck says simply, his throat bobbing as he swallows. “You were stabbed and you fractured a rib. Why wouldn’t you take one last dose of morphine that I know they offered?”
“Because I didn’t want to be high when I said it again,” Eddie says, his voice shaking and his thumb rubbing softly on Buck’s neck. “I’m not straight, first of all. That was figured out in Texas but there was Bobby and then you lived with me and then you didn’t and then Abuela and… I’m gay.”
Buck inhales shakily through parted lips. “I- I’m really proud of you for telling me that.”
Eddie nods, his heart pounding. “I’m in love with you. I- Buck, I want you so bad. Every day, all the time. It’s actually tormenting me how badly and desperately I want you to be… my partner? Boyfriend doesn’t seem like the right word for it.”
“Husband,” Buck says, his voice cracking. “Last night you said you loved me like a husband.”
“I do,” Eddie says, biting the inside of his cheek. “You’re not- It’s okay if-“
“I love you like a husband, too,” Buck tells him, holding Eddie steady as a wave of dizzy relief courses through him. “If that’s- I want you to- Marry me. Let’s- Tomorrow.”
Eddie lets out a wet laugh, gripping Buck tighter. “You haven’t even kissed me, yet.”
“We have time for that after you say yes,” Buck says, nudging their noses together. Breath hot against Eddie’s lips Buck says, “Marry me. Please. I want so much with you, please marry me.”
“God, Buck, of course,” Eddie says and the words have barely left his mouth before Buck’s kissing him.
And it’s just like a husband would.