Chapter Text
Oguri Cap sat down, wearing a heavy sigh. She faced all her wives simultaneously, who were sitting in a circle formation around her. The air was getting heavy with impatience.
Finally, Tamamo broke the silence. “Ogurin, just spit it out won’tcha!”
Oguri cap sighed. “Everyone, I have covid-19.” She pulled out a stick with two clear red lines.
Inari One exploded. “Why the fuck did you bring everyone here for? Good grief Oguri, we’re all going to get it now.”
Super Creek gave her a tender smile. “Oguri, come rest on my lap. I will give you a cold compress and make you porridge.” Oguri walked over and rested on Super Creek’s lap.
Berno Light came a little closer. “Oguri, I don’t think that’s a covid-19 test.”
Oguri looked at the results again, completely dumbfounded. “What?”
Fujimasa March picked up the stick. “Oguri, I can’t believe it!”
Oguri sighed, her face planted into Creek’s abdomen. “What?”
Dicta Striker picked up the test. “You dumbass, that’s a pregnancy test!”
Oguri stood up at once. “What?”
Norn Ace placed a frantic hand on Oguri’s shoulders. “What do you mean, what? You’re pregnant, Oguri Cap!”
“Huh?” Oguri Cap took a closer look at the test. “Oh, I probably just ate a little too much and it made the results weird.”
Obey Your Master started chuckling. “Silly Oguri, that isn’t how it works.”
Oguri Cap could only watch as her polycule erupted into chaos.
Super Creek looked at the test, smiling. “Oh my Oguri, I can’t wait to spoil you and OUR future child!”
Tamamo stared daggers at Oguri. “Ya sure this thing is mine?”
Fujimasa March started tearing up and hugged Oguri tightly. Meanwhile, Folk Queen stared at Oguri in shock and awe.
Bamboo Memory pat Oguri on the back. “We will surely be the best parent-ssu!”
Symboli Rudolf’s face lit up. “I will do well to make sure this future uma gets… the best start out of the gate. Haha. Get it? Because-”
Inari One started panicking. “What do you mean? How did this happen? Are you a biological miracle?”
Norn Ace screamed. “What did I do???? Oguri, you’re joking!”
Berno Light felt Oguri’s forehead. “Oguri, I think you need to see a doctor because I don’t know how this is possible.”
Super Creek’s face fell. “Oh. I’m sorry I got too excited.”
Oguri flopped down on the couch. “Do I still get porridge, Creek?”
Super Creek placed a reassuring hand on Oguri. “Of course.”
—--------------------------------------
Without further ado, Berno Light, Fujimasa March, Super Creek, and Norn Ace accompanied Oguri Cap to the doctor’s office for a second opinion. The GP was insanely concerned and amazed, scheduling Oguri Cap for every test in the book.
After coming out of the waiting room, Oguri Cap’s stomach gave an unusually loud rumble. “I’m hungry…”
They all rushed to the closest all-you-can-eat buffet, which had to close early.
It was a week later and the results confirmed what everyone already knew, but this earned a lot of angry emails from Dicta Striker and Tamamo Cross threatening to sue.