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He thinks that, at this point, he might just take the revolt if it meant putting him out of his god damn misery.
Magic was evil, yes. Corrupted those who used it, down to their very core. Uther almost fully believed this, but he had upkept his power as a ruler and king over Camelot by keeping to his decrees and his ways. He would not give any leeway to those who used magic now, as it would ruin Camelot; in a way, he was saving themselves from becoming soulless beings consumed by magic. It was better this way.
He wished he could do that with that bloody servant, Merlin.
The boy wasn’t even subtle in his usage of magic. Either everyone else was oblivious to it or purposefully turned a blind eye; one meant Uther needed more observant knights under his rule, or that everyone was committing treason by keeping hidden a source of magic. And in both cases, if Uther was to put Merlin to death, he’d have a revolt on his hands. Because somehow, everyone seemed to love Merlin. It was infuriating how such an idiotic servant could be so well beloved by all the people within the palace. How the knights were almost more loyal to Merlin than they were to him, their King.
What made matters worse is that his son, Arthur, was the worst of them.
While Uther did not understand it, he could perhaps see that Merlin inspired loyalty and trust amongst others; and begrudgingly, Uther could privately admit to himself that Merlin displayed bravery as much as—or even more so—any knight within Camelot. These were, in anyone else—anyone else without magic—admirable qualities Uther would want to foster within the palace and throughout the kingdom. But Merlin did have magic, and enough of it to kill Nimueh—good riddance—but it only made the fact that his son, the Crown Prince, being in love with his magical servant more irritating than anything else.
At first, Uther had thought Arthur was just oblivious to the magic. He could be bull-headed enough to not take quite enough notice of his surroundings at times, and despite all his teachings, Uther knew Arthur inherently saw the good in others and thus would not even begin to expect his servant capable of such evil the likes of magic. And then, as time went on, Uther began to expect Arthur was purposefully being obtuse, because surely he could not believe that he was just that lucky in his endeavors when his servant was always there when things went his way. And then it came to Uther’s realization that he was aware but was pretending to not know about magic his servant would use. Pretending to ignore treason, all to keep a servant by his side.
And Uther does not know if it makes it better or worse to know that Arthur is in love with Merlin, and thus is doing this for his beloved.
Not to mention the complexity it came with Morgana’s own magic capabilities, and thus this connection to Merlin as well.
Overall, it was Uther’s worst fucking nightmare, and he just had to pretend that he was unaware because everyone in the palace seemed to respect Merlin more than their King. And he could admit it pissed him off more than anything else, but it was just a truth of this world. Uther was King of Camelot, Merlin was a powerful sorcerer, and everyone thought it better to commit treason than to admit Merlin’s magic so Uther had to act like he was unaware.
Having to praise Merlin’s bravery was always like removing teeth. Once again, if it had been someone without magic, it would be far easier—even if it was still frustrating having to praise a servant. But knowing Merlin used magic for his bravery, and having to praise him rather than send him to the executioner’s block, made Uther furious in a way nothing else truly had in a long, long time.
It was all Uther could do but simply send him to the dungeons, grinding his teeth as he praised Merlin’s bravery. “You have…been very brave…and have…done the kingdom a great…a great service…”
While he knew Gaius and other older servants within the palace who knew Uther better seemed to question Uther’s tone, Uther couldn’t help but occasionally glare at where his son stood, his expression the epitome of besotted that Uther had ever witnessed, all while staring at the servant who seemed to shift uncomfortably while being praised. At least Uther had the satisfaction of knowing he was making Merlin uncomfortable and nervous. Good, because Uther does not know what he would have done if the young man before him did not seem afraid of him.
But to all the beings that existed in the unknowns of this world, if there were any true beings, he might go insane if he has to keep the pretense he doesn’t know about magic for everyone else’s sake. He can’t go back against his own laws on magic, but he also knows he can’t put Merlin to death or else he loses everything he worked for in what would probably be less than a week’s time.
He was going to need a drink or five to deal with the headache this was bringing him.