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Being a hero came with perks, fame, money, anything you could ever want. Unless, of course, what you wanted was a stable relationship and the guaranteed safety of your loved ones. Which at the moment, Hawks had neither.
“Would you listen to me for just one second?!” You shouted at your boyfriend who was currently trying to climb out of the window.
“Yes! I’m listening! Please enlighten me! What did you need now?” Hawks snapped at you, stepping off of the windowsill.
“Well?” He sneered, now eye level with you. His face showed signs of fatigue and stress, much like yours did at the moment.
“Where are you going? Didn’t you say you would be staying home for the next few days?” Your eyes bore into his.
“Last minute call.” The blond hissed, his annoyance was quite obvious.
“You can’t just-” You cut yourself off, taking a deep breath in hopes of calming down. “You sure have been getting a lot of ‘last minute calls’ lately, huh? And so late at night?” You argued almost accusingly, keeping your voice calm or at least calmer than it was.
“I can’t control what they make me do, and when they make me do it! Do you know how crazy it is out there right now?” The vermilion feathers in his wings fluffed up angrily. You would have laughed at the action if you weren’t upset.
“Yes but you can’t get a single day off? None? You’re never home anymore! And even when you are here, you seem distant. Its like I’m living with a stranger!” You understood that Kyushu needed him, or more accurately, that Japan needed him. You were aware how work always came first with him. Hawks was the number 3 pro hero, work had to come first. You knew all of this. But it didn’t make it hurt any less to be left alone for however long the HPSC had him away for.
The hero sighed deeply, rubbing his hands over his face. He didn’t want to argue with you. Not when he had a mission to complete.
“I need to-” He was quickly cut off. “Im so sick of this, Keigo!”
The words left you before you even had a chance to stop them. You quickly covered your mouth with your hands. You just said his name. The same name he had told you he hated, the name he only told you because he trusted you with it, the name you promised to never call him by. Remorse hit you like a truck.
For once Hawks was rendered speechless, his mouth agape as he stared at you in shock for a second. When he regained his composure, he turned his back to you and stepped onto the windowsill again.
“I need to go. We can talk when I get back.” His voice sounded trained, professional, fake. Something you’ve never heard outside of his interviews and fan meetups. Without another word he dived out the window.
“Hawks wait!” You tried to stop him but he was already flying away, disappearing into the darkness of the night. “I’m sorry.” You whispered knowing full well he couldn’t hear you.
____________
Days pass without so much as a text from your boyfriend, you were starting to get worried. You knew you had hurt him by calling him by his birth name, but was it really enough for him to go no contact? You just hoped he was ok.
It was Saturday afternoon, you were in the kitchen when you heard the front door open. Was he using the door like a civilized person for once? Sure enough Hawks stumbles through the entryway, kicking off his boots and walking over to the couch before plopping down on it. His hero uniform still on but he couldn’t be bothered to change right now.
You padded into the living room, your eyes landing on your very tired boyfriend. You were relived to see him.
“Welcome home.” You murmured, slowly making your way to the couch he was laying on.
“Yeah.” The blond mumbled groggily as he buried his face into the cousins, his wings were missing quite a bit of feathers but the remaining ones ruffled slightly when you approached. An odd habit of his, no matter his mood his wings seemed to react to your presence.
You stood there for a few moments staring at the floor, unsure of what to say. The silence was deafening.
“Im sorry.” Hawks uttered as he sat up to look at you properly. Your gaze snapped to his face. What was he apologizing for?
“What? Why??” You questioned.
He took ahold of your hand. “Because I haven’t been here when you needed me. I haven’t been talking to you. I-” He started to ramble.
“Stop.” You instructed. “I was the one who was being selfish, and I used your name.. in an argument. Who the hell does that?!”
“You’re not selfish! I’m the one who’s been overworking myself. I should be here with you! And its not like you meant to say it or anything.” He argued, trying to defend your previous actions.
“But I shouldn’t have said it at all! But like you said, you can’t control when you get sent on missions. I shouldn’t have freaked out like I did.” The regret was strong in your voice.
“But I could have asked for some time off, I could have finished my jobs faster, I could’ve made time for us, I should have made you a priority.” His voice broke a little with each word. The stress was getting to him, you’ve never seen this man cry before. He’s always been good at hiding his emotions, even from you.
“I knew what I was getting myself into when I started dating a hero. I shouldn’t have been yelling at you for doing your job. Hawks, I’m sorry.” You sat beside him on the couch and brought your free hand his cheek to wipe away the few tears that streamed down your beloveds face.
This made the man lose it. The combination of stress that the HPSC had been putting on him and the worries from the past few weeks came crashing down on him all at once. He wrapped his arms around you and sobbed into your shoulder.
You started to run your hands through his hair in hopes of making him feel better.
The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes until your boyfriend eventually calmed down.
“Im sorry.” He croaked as he lifted his head from your shoulder and removed his arms from around your waist. He was a bit embarrassed by his outburst and by the fact that your sleeve was now wet with his tears.
“Don’t apologize. I don’t know everything you’ve got going on right now, but if you’re able to, you can always talk to me, okay?” You grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry again for.. everything really.”
“Thank you. I think I’ll request some time off. I’m exhausted. Plus I think some quality time will be good for us. I can’t guarantee that the higher-ups will approve it, but I doubt they want me on the field when I’m like this.”
“Yeah sounds good.” You smiled before asking, “Are we good now?”
The hero gently kissed you on the forehead.
“Yeah I think so. But next time you use my name, maybe mean it in a loving way or something.” He teased.
“Does that mean you want me to start calling you by K-”
Hawks put a finger to your lips, effectively silencing you. “Baby steps, Dove. Baby steps.”