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It was one in the morning when Hawks arrived home.
It wasn't like Dabi had been waiting up, he'd eaten some leftovers out of the fridge, he'd taken a much longer shower than usual because he didn't need to worry about how much water there was at Hawks' apartment, or how much it cost.
He'd lazed around and watched tv, ignoring the show that he and the hero had been watching together, even though the last episode had ended on a giant cliffhanger.
Still, he couldn't help but let his leg bounce the later it got.
He was supposed to be back from the stupid fucking gala hours ago, instead suddenly shuffling through the door at one in the morning, the world outside quiet as most people slept.
"Where the hell have you been?" Dabi shouldn't care, he should have been indifferent to whatever time Hawks appeared at, but he'd always been awful with that.
Hawks just stood there in his genkan, still clad in his suit but with the tie discarded somewhere and the fabric slightly creased, looking almost rugged compared to the last time Dabi had seen him, pristine with slicked back hair ready for the gala.
"Hawks." He prompted when the hero still made no point to reply, instead making a mess of taking his shoes off and leaving them messily in the genkan. It was silent, save for his shuffling and the sound of Dabi's own heart, unease settling in his stomach at the shake in Hawks' usually strong wings.
"Birdie?" His voice was rough and deep, but Dabi found it softening as he pulled himself up off the sofa and towards the shaking hero. He still hadn't moved, trembling and wobbly and with a tense expression etched onto his face.
It made him swallow with nerves, his feet stopping just infront of the hero. "Hey-"
He couldn't even get his next word out before desperate hands were grabbing at him, frantic and panicked as Hawks' arms wrapped around him and held on tight, almost painfully so. It was frenzied in a way that no matter how close Hawks pressed against him, how tight he held onto him, it wasn't enough.
Dabi held him back after the initial shock, his brain spinning as he tried to figure out what the fuck was wrong with his contact turned fuck buddy turned maybe something more.
"Hawks- you need to talk to me."
He only replied with a strangled noise, followed by a gasp as Dabi tried to pull back just an inch to look at him.
His heart was still thudding, only getting faster as Hawks let out another desperate noise, almost as if he was trying to say something.
"It's okay, it's okay."
From the small glimpse that Dabi managed to get, Hawks' eyes were wild, his pupil a pinprick lost in a sea of gold. He was desperate for Dabi to understand, and something suddenly clicked.
"Hawks- birdie..can you not speak? You can tap me once for yes and twice for no, okay?"
Just that made him sob, followed by one, sure tap.
"Okay, I've got you." He muttered softly. "Because of a quirk?"
Two taps no.
"Okay." His voice settled even further into something low and understanding, while his hand gently rubbed his back through the fabric of his suit. "Did something happen at the event?"
One tap.
Dabi wasn't good at the whole..talking about feelings thing, about wording things delicately, but Hawks was still crying and hiccuping against his shoulder and he had to try.
Hawks had been there when he'd been sick, in the throes of heat exhaustion and barely lucid, but still with it enough to see golden eyes above him and feel the cold cloth wiping over his forehead.
"Is it because..you're feeling too overwhelmed?"
Sometimes the brain couldn't handle all of the shit happening around it, taking away the ability to communicate with it.
Dabi was sure he'd seen it in kids out on the street, and he was sure that it must have been even more intense for Hawks, his senses heightened and his feathers picking up on every small thing happening around him.
Another single tap confirmed it.
"Okay." Dabi let out a deep breath, because as shitty as Hawks felt, he wasn't dying as he'd feared just a few moments prior. "Here's what we're gonna do..either we can just go to bed, or I'll run you a warm bath. One for bed and two for bath."
Giving Hawks too many options wouldn’t be helpful, not with how stressed out he already was. Keeping it simple was probably - hopefully the best option.
It was still for a few moments, before Hawks tapped him twice.
"Good choice, birdie." He didn't move, not yet, because Hawks was still shaking and croaking out those distressed sounds that made Dabi's chest hurt, almost regressed into a birdlike state.
He didn't even know that Hawks could make those noises.
"You're okay now." The hero gave a barely repressed warble into his neck, and Dabi could only frown and kiss the top of his head. "It's just us.."
Being stuck with a villain shouldn't have comforted Hawks, yet he nodded and melted even further into the embrace.
They slowly made their way towards Hawks' bedroom, his arm never letting go of Dabi's waist as his fingers dug into the flesh of his side. Dabi didn't think that he could let go even if he wanted to.
"Let's get you out of this suit before I run the bath."
It was restrictive, especially around his wings, and in no way was that helping him.
His eyes were apologetic as he tried to uncurl his fingers from where they were digging into Dabi's skin, wet and shiny in a way that he hadn't seen outside of sex. It took a few minutes of coaxing and murmuring more of those soft words, but his grip eventually loosened enough for Hawks to let go.
He sat on the edge of the bed while Dabi looked through his wardrobe, still sniffling and hiccuping.
"How about this?" It was a fluffy dressing gown, a piece from one of Hawks' own merch collections, but loose and unrestrictive enough to not cause anymore discomfort.
The hero nodded, then once again when Dabi asked if he could help him undress.
He sat down next to him, first taking his jacket and belt off to place to the side, then his shirt, and lastly Dabi helped him to shuffle his slacks off, leaving him in his boxers for just a second until he assisted in getting the dressing gown on.
He pressed a kiss to his hand once they were finished, Dabi's little remaining gentleness reserved for Hawks, for those quiet moments where they didn't have to be a hero and villain.
(He was so, so fucked.)
"I won't be long running the bath."
Hawks as expected didn't say anything, just gazed at him before curling up on his side with his wings hanging off the bed in an uncomfortable looking manner, letting Dabi quietly pad into the bathroom to start running the hot water.
A deep sigh left his lungs as he watched the bath slowly fill up, the whole apartment far too quiet save for the sound of running water.
Some of Hawks' nice smelling bubble bath was added, then a small amount of cold water to bring it to a suitable temperature.
Hawks looked miserable when he made his way into the bathroom, his usually glowing skin pale and marred with dark bags under his eyes. His posture was off too, more of a slump than his usual military standard position.
Dabi should have noticed something earlier.
"Careful." He murmured, helping him into the bath once he'd shrugged the dressing gown off and kicked his boxers off onto the floor. He sat down with a slight grunt, making the water splash especially when he flexed his wings and then let them drop bonelessly.
It was a little awkward, Dabi sitting outside of the bath and leaning over to quietly wash his hair, but it worked, just about. His hair was slightly greasy with sweat and hair products, but it was easily cleaned away with Hawks' fancy ass shampoo.
He didn't talk past softly instructing Hawks to close his eyes, didn't bring up his work or that fucking gala, not when Hawks had only just stopped shaking.
They could talk in the morning.
Hawks pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin against them while Dabi lightly ran his fingers through his feathers and collected any debris that had built up throughout the day. There wasn't much - they were already clean, but the preening made Hawks sigh deeply and deflate.
It wouldn't surprise Dabi if people had been touching them all fucking night long, so he kept his touch light and careful, always giving Hawks the chance to pull away if he was uncomfortable.
Yet he didn't pull away, making a pleased rumbly sound from deep in his chest.
It had Dabi forcing back a small smile, the progress steadying his heart.
He shouldn't care, he shouldn't even be this involved with Hawks, but he couldn't shake him off, dreaming about gentle touches, bright laughter and somebody who treated him too good to be true, too often.
"Is that a bit better?" Hawks replied with a tap on the side of the bath, and Dabi hummed. "Just tap me when you want out."
He didn't tap him, not with his eyes closed and drowsy breaths leaving his mouth, asleep in the cooling water. It left Dabi trying to pick the oversized bird up out of the bath without waking him or giving them both concussions from slipping.
Dabi was exhausted by the time he'd managed to pick him up and lift him out and wrap him up in a towel.
He'd gotten poked in the face by one too many feathers.
He placed Hawks down on the bed in his towel, patting him dry and using another smaller towel to dry his messy hair, all while the hero snored softly.
He looked younger, sleeping so deeply, too young for all of the shit he was put through.
It was impossible to pull the towel from underneath Hawks and get him changed without waking him, so Dabi left him in his towel and a with a blanket on top, sighing quietly as he watched him for a few moments too long.
He wanted to reach out and gently stroke under Hawks' eyes, too tired and dark, but he kept his hands firmly pressed to the bed, only watching.
It was hard to commit all of Hawks to memory, ready for the day he'd leave.
It would come eventually, Dabi knew that, unable to cling onto the childish fantasy that Hawks really could stay with him.
The weak part of him - the Touya part of him wished for it no matter how unrealistic it was, but Dabi knew it was all a child's dream, too innocent for what they were.
The hero blinked his eyes open while Dabi was still gazing at him, yawning and taking in his sudden change in location.
"You fell asleep in the bath. C'mon, get changed and you can sleep properly."
The hero barely hummed at him, his tired body sitting up and moving over to the wardrobe still wrapped in the thick towel, where he found some clothes and slowly got changed.
Hawks being..slow for once was a little unsettling, yet at the same time relieving.
It was hypocritical for somebody like Dabi to say, but he'd kill himself if he kept going the way he was, pushing himself to the limits without rest.
Once he was changed, he crawled back into bed beside Dabi, leaning most of his weight against him.
"Do you want the tv on?"
Hawks reached for his hand and lighty tapped it once, then didn't let go, quietly intertwining their hands together.
"Your usual shit?" He still slimmed his eyes at Dabi while he reached over for the remote with his spare hand, then poked him hard in the ribs. "You're still a bastard-"
It made him huff loudly and ruffle his wings, but his body relaxed back against Dabi's when he put one of his usual trashy shows on low volume.
His weight and the gentle warmth of his body was stupidly welcome, pressed together close enough that Dabi could feel Hawks' every breath, steady and slow compared to his earlier panic.
It gave him the urge to press a kiss to the side of Hawks' head, and he found himself unable to resist, his rough lips lightly meeting Hawks' head for just two measly seconds.
It was too intimate, too soft for them.
Then again, everything that they did, shouldn't have happened.
Nevertheless, it forced something like a chirp out of Hawks' throat, his body freezing as if he'd done something wrong, and then relaxing again when Dabi didn't even make a comment.
It was kind of...cute.
His head rested down against Dabi's chest, and neither of them made a fuss about how their hands were still intertwined, loose enough that it was comfortable, but tight enough that neither of them would let go.
Dabi didn't need to tell Hawks to go to sleep, his eyes already starting to slip closed and his breaths evening out further, only listening to the quiet hum of the tv.
His own eyes were starting to feel heavy, too.
His thumb gently rubbed over the soft skin of Hawks' hand, protected by the thick gloves he wore each day and only marred with old, faded scars that Dabi wanted to know about, wanted Hawks to tell him about.
He wanted to know more about Hawks than he would ever find out.
Hawks shuffled a few times, and Dabi decided not to mention it, only adjusting his arm around the hero as he started to doze off again, breaths slowly turning more into quiet snores.
Dabi couldn't help but kiss his head again.
He followed Hawks into sleep not long after, barely realising just how worked up he'd been without him there, unable to close his eyes.
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
Hawks woke up, as per usual, much earlier than Dabi, the villain still snoring away in his bed with a lanky arm wrapped around him, keeping Hawks from moving.
The sun was only just beginning to rise, and it made him realise that he'd slept a little longer than usual, normally up even before the sun.
It all made him realise what he'd done the previous night, too.
Shit.
With a long sigh, Hawks rubbed his hand over his face, thinking back to the way he'd grabbed Dabi like some kind of mad man, the way he'd cried, the way he'd shut off and couldn't even utter a word.
It made his cheeks burn with shame.
Yet..Dabi had held him tightly, had understood and took care of him for the entire night - even at such a stupid time.
It made him swallow and look over at the sleeping arsonist, at the villain who had been far more caring than anyone else in Hawks' short life, helping him into the bath, carrying him back to bed when he fell asleep in the tub, holding him quietly until he fell asleep - and even after, Hawks was sure.
Was that..how things were supposed to be? Hawks couldn't even begin to imagine somebody looking after him like that - not until it was suddenly happening.
He was stopped from falling any further into his pit of despair by the man next to him shifting and grumbling, his eyes cracking open just enough to look at him. "Come back to sleep.."
Hawks didn't argue, because the pull of cuddling back against the villain's warm body was even too much for him to resist. Dabi made him melt against his chest, and Hawks would blame it on his naturally high body temperature.
"'S too early."
"It's not that early." He mumbled back, his voice hoarse from both sleep and disuse.
"It is." Dabi left a lazy kiss against the crown of his head, far too casual, before his eyes slipped closed again, more of those deep, raspy breaths escaping his mouth.
He didn't immediately want answers, he didn't press or rush him.
Hawks could talk when he wanted to.
It was so different to everything he was used to.
He stayed nestled against Dabi's chest for the next half an hour, maybe fourty five minutes, breathing in his smoky scent and pretending that the outside world didn't exist.
Hawks was good, great even at pretending, but eventually he had to pull himself up with a deep sigh, staying quiet until Dabi looked up at him, definitely not fully awake, but nearly there.
"Can we talk?"
"I'm listening." He said through a yawn, momentarily distracting Hawks from the matter at hand.
"I'm uh- sorry..for last night, it was weird, I know-"
"It's fine, Hawks."
"It's not-" Hawks' wings ruffled with annoyance, not at Dabi, but at himself. "It's odd- creepy even when I just sit there silently staring at nothing."
"Didn't creep me out." The villain finally sat up, his hair a mess and his shirt nearly sliding off his shoulder - a view that Hawks would really love to appreciate at a better time. "You don't have to explain or apologise for shit, either."
"You're weird."
"I know." A small grin pulled at his staples. "And so are you, bird brain, but not because you had a non verbal episode, okay?"
Just hearing the words made his cheeks burn with shame again, and immediately he wanted to berate himself for it.
"You had a shitty day and your mind went into overdrive until it shut parts off, that doesn't mean you're fucked up."
Hawks grumbled and climbed into the villain's lap, because as embarrassing as it was, it was easier to talk without looking into his eyes.
The added bonus of being extremely close was helpful too.
"Usually..I can push it back until I'm alone. Last night I just..couldn't stop it."
"Yesterday was really bad, huh?" Dabi's hand found its way to his back, inbetween his wings in a way that almost pulled a chirp or a coo or something equally embarrassing out of him.
He didn't want to think about it, really, about the shitty job he'd done, about how unimpressed his handlers had been, about the gala and all of the hands touching him.
"I can just kill whoever caused you problems, you know."
"Very generous."
"I mean it."
"I know you do." Hawks sighed against his neck. "It was just..a bad mission, a scolding that obviously followed, the stupid party with too loud music and too many people that wanted to take me to bed, thought that they could."
"Bastards." He matched his sigh, hands rigid with anger against his back.
"And I've just gotta smile and laugh-" He held onto Dabi a little tighter. "Just let them touch my wings and do whatever the hell they want, because we need their support and money."
"Again, should just let them all die in a firey accident, or a slip of a feather." Dabi shrugged. "They deserve it."
"Yeah.."
"Let me come next time."
"No-" Dabi said it seriously, and the absurdity of it made Hawks laugh, a proper, genuine thing. "Definitely not, hot stuff."
"I'd make it the best one of those fuckin' awful galas you've ever been to. Nobody will touch you, either."
"You would, I know." Hawks pulled his head back and cupped Dabi's cheeks rather than holding onto him, finally meeting his eyes. "I can handle it."
"You shouldn't have to."
Hawks knew that, but he also knew that there wasn't much that he could do, not without ruining the commission's reputation or losing their compassionate patrons.
"I know, but I'll be okay."
"Call me next time."
Hawks didn't deny if he would or wouldn't, just gently stroked the healthy skin of Dabi's cheeks with a soft sigh. "Thanks..for not being weirded out, and for taking care of me. Everything that you did really helped."
"Don't get used to the princess treatment."
"Uhuh." His lips quirked up into another smile. "Sure."
"I mean it."
"Yep." Hawks closed the short distance between them and pressed their lips together, just a short, soft peck. "Carry me to the kitchen, I'm hungry."
"Fuck off."
It was difficult not to grin as he was carried into the kitchen just a few minutes later, the villain grumbling and huffing as if he didn't love it, then placing him down onto the counter top with a kiss.
Hawks could only try to appreciate those little moments as much as possible, grinning against his mouth and avoiding the constant reminder of the clock counting down.
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───