Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Being part of the Fake AH crew wasn’t something that was planned for Ray. Ray never really planned anything that happened in life, it just kind of happened. That’s why sitting in front of Geoff Ramsey, notorious leader of the Fake AH crew, late on a surprisingly cool Tuesday night in August was not particularly surprising.

     It was eleven thirty at night and they were sitting in some shitty hole-in-the-wall diner in the middle of the worst part of Los Santos. Geoff was drumming his fingers on a dingy white mug filled with a liquid that looked more like mud than coffee. He was dressed way too well for their current location, full tux, hair slicked, mustache perfectly curled, way too perfect for someone in the profession Geoff was in.

     Ray had yet to say anything. They had been sitting in the booth for at least ten minutes, Ray having walked in a few minutes late to Geoff in the same position as he was now. He was waiting for Geoff to speak first, despite how awkward the silence was. He wasn’t necessarily afraid of Geoff, just a little wary of the six armed guards sitting in the booth behind them. A few more minutes passed before Geoff finally spoke.

    “Alright, asshole. You got my attention. Best sniper in the city. I get it, don’t get too big a head.” Geoff said dismissively with a wave of his hand, “Who’re you working for right now?” The man questioned, eyebrow cocked in curiosity.

    “Uhhh,..Funhaus…” Ray admitted in a voice slightly higher than he’d like to admit. Geoff was silent for a few moments before breaking into cackling laughter.

    “Funhaus!” He burst out, “Those dickbags haven’t had a successful heist in years! How much do those shitheads pay you?”

    “Enough.” Ray stated flatly.

    “Like hell they do. I’ve seen that shitty apartment you live in, if you want to call it that. More like a closet.” Geoff was laughing again, obviously finding humor in his own joke. Ray only rolled his eyes, trying not to imagine how much more Geoff already knew about him if he already had people staking out his apartment.

    “Okay, Ray. I’m going to level with you. I want you in my crew. You have talent and I want that. I’ll pay you four times what Douchehaus is paying. I’ll even get you out of that shit apartment in East Jabumblefuck, Los Santos.”

    Ray was stunned when some random dude had come up to him on the street and told him he had to meet with Geoff Ramsey. This was not what he had expected. A threat, sure, he was good at what he did, but Funhaus was tiny compared to the Fake AH crew. It didn’t make sense. Why would Geoff single him out?

    “Why the fuck do you want me? Funhaus sucks.” Ray exclaimed.

    “Yeah, but you don’t. You’re a good shot, and you seem like a good kid. You’ll fit in with the guys once you warm up a bit.” Geoff was smiling warmly, “ Come on, it’ll be fun. Half the time we’re just getting wasted anyway. Get paid to get plastered. Win-win.”

    “I don’t drink.” Ray stated flatly. Geoff’s smile faltered slightly, like the entire job offer was based on whether or not Ray was an alcoholic.

    “Well, you better be fun sober or I’ll kick you out of the crew.”

    “You seem pretty sure that’ll I’ll join..” Geoff smirked at the comment, but it still gave Ray a nasty feeling in his stomach, like he might be serious deep down about kicking him out for something so ridiculous.

    “We have a lot to offer you. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.”  

    “Fine. I’m in.” Ray said with a sigh.

    “Yes! Awesome!” Geoff stretched out his hand to shake Ray’s.

    “I only have one question for you.” Ray whispered quietly.

    “Shoot.”

    “How do I leave Funhaus without them, well, murdering me in cold blood?”

    “Don’t worry about it, kid,” Geoff had an evil glint in his eyes, “ Daddy’s got it taken care of.”

Chapter Text

    And take care of it he did. Ray turned on the six o’clock news Wednesday evening and watched a manic looking redhead and a man in a skull mask, the Vagabond (he had quite the reputation), shooting rocket launchers at the Funhaus safehouse. The building was blown to pieces. No survivors.

       Ray was amazed with how fast Geoff worked. In the few hours since he had seen Geoff, a crew member had brought him a contract to sign and a set of keys. Kdin, one of Geoff’s crew had brought the stuff for him.

       “Okay, sign this, I have a copy for you. And here’s two sets of keys. Silver is for the penthouse, black is a surprise from Geoff. He wants to see you at nine A.M. sharp tomorrow.” Kdin said all of this with a smile.

       “What do you mean surprise?”  Ray questioned, confusion plastered on his face.

       “Just go look outside,” Kdin turned to go to the door. “See you soon, Ray!”

    Shortly after Kdin left, Ray found himself outside to investigate the gift from Geoff. A brand new Pegassi Bati was parked in the street . The bike was lime green and from what Ray could tell very expensive. He silently thanked the universe for the random chance he was given.

    Ray went to bed at ten o’clock that night, probably earlier than he’d been to bed since pre-k. He fell asleep with a weird sense of excitement that made him feel both sick to his stomach and anxious all at the same time. He wasn’t sure what to expect from the crew. They seemed so buddy-buddy according to Geoff. Part of his brain was screaming that he wouldn’t fit in. He tried his best to ignore it and the panic he could feel growing in his chest.

    Shoving a pillow over his head, Ray forced himself to fall asleep so that he would be up early the next day.

                                                                                                                                                        ****************

    Ray was really fucking late. He had never been so late for anything in his life. 11:00 AM shined bright along with 6 missed alarms.

       “Fuck!” Ray growled, getting out of bed quickly, forgoing glasses and immediately tripping over a pillow that had fallen to the floor in the night.

       “Shit!” he yelled while rushing to the bathroom, knees and hands rug burned.

    Fifteen minutes later Ray found himself rushing out the door, down the stairs, out another door, and hopping onto his brand new bike, huge stack of paper with the penthouse address on it balled up in his hand.

                                                                                                                                                      ****************

       “You are so fucked.” The guard at the door said as Ray jogged through the building’s entrance. It was a huge skyscraper smack dab in the middle of Los Santos. Of course the penthouse was on the top floor.

       “Yeah, yeah, I know.” Ray slung back, waving a hand in dismissal. The guard pushed the elevator button for Ray, but he didn’t really want him too. Ray would much rather push his own buttons.

    Ray folded up the slightly ripped papers and stuffed them into his pocket, trying not to fidget too much as he waited for the elevator to arrive at the first floor.

       “You better hope he’s in a caring mood. Or he’ll sic the Vagabond on you. Put you out of your misery.” The guard, who for some reason had a nametag labeled ‘Brock’, taunted.

       “Thank God!” Ray feigned relief, “I’ve been waiting for someone to take me out for years! Much less complicated to explain to my parents.”

    The elevator dinged, doors opening. Ray stepped inside and turned back to look at Brock.

       “Be sure to thank ‘The Vagabond’ after he kills me. I’m sure he’s the kind of guy that appreciates the recognition.  

    The doors closed, elevator rising. If Ray had been nervous before, he was ten times beyond that now. The sick feeling from the night before had returned. He sure hoped Geoff was the forgiving kind of crime boss.

Chapter Text

  The penthouse was spectacular. Ray had never seen anything quite so lavish in his life. Growing up poor, he never got to see much better than his parents shitty apartment in New York City. Only thing worse than that might be the crap apartment he had now. Compared to that, the penthouse was like a palace.

  From the foyer, most of the living space could be seen, top of the line kitchen, floor to ceiling windows, huge TV, and every video game console Ray could think of. There was even a fountain near the front door. It was still really fancy despite the fact that it was a bunch of dicks as the fountain. Whoever thought marble dicks spraying water was a good idea for a fancy fountain must be crazy.

  Suddenly in the middle of taking it all in, a blond man appeared and got way too close to Ray’s personal bubble.

   “You must be Ray!” The man stated energetically.

   “And you’re wearing sunglasses indoors.” Ray retorted. He watched the man’s childish expression change to that of confusion.

   “Wot?”

   “What, what? I thought we were stating the obvious.” The man frowned, huffing slightly like a pouty kid.

   “You can follow me. Geoff’s been waiting for you.” With a wave of his hand Glasses turned and walked down the hallway past the awkward fountain. Ray trudged behind him feeling the nervousness well up inside him.

   “I’m Gavin by the way.” He said with renewed energy, “ And don’t worry Geoff’s not that pissed.” He very poorly winked at Ray, not being able to only close one eye.

   “Oh God. Glad I don’t get fed to the Vagabond just yet.” Gavin chuckled, but said nothing.

  The hallway was long. There were lots of closed doors, shiny ebony doors, art between each door frame. Screaming could be heard from the first room on the right. A slew of profanity leaked from the crack under the door. Gavin seemed unphased by the noise, continuing his stroll down the hall. There were no other interruptions.The last door was cracked a little bit, soft voices could be heard from inside. Gavin knocked lightly on the door, but did not wait for a response before pushing the door open. Ray followed Gavin inside, trying not to show his nervousness.

  Geoff was sitting at a large dark wood desk, whispering to a big guy with a puffy beard. Gavin cleared his throat causing Geoff and the bearded guy to jump apart.

   “Look what the cat dragged in!” Geoff exclaimed, “Ray, this is Jack, my right hand man.” Jack extended his hand to shake Ray’s.

   “Pleasure to meet you, Ray.” Jack smiled.

   “Yeah you too. I am so sorry I’m late. I had like twenty alarms set. I don’t know what happened.” His face flushed to cherry red, growing hotter as he spoke. Ray felt more like he was in trouble at school than he was late for meeting.

   “Eh, no worries. Kdin likes to exaggerate, but were not too strict on times. Half of us don’t get up til like noon anyway.”

  Ray’s shoulders dropped, stress leaving his body for the first time since he had arrived.

   “That’s a relief. I got threatened with the Vagabond a bunch of times on my way up here.”

  Geoff, Gavin, and Jack all burst out laughing.

   “What’s so funny? Ray questioned, utterly confused. The Vagabond was literally the creepiest guy on the planet. He had never encountered him, but he thanked every deity everyday for not yet having the opportunity. This is the guy that literally tortured people to death and blew up buildings for fun. And here were these three people who worked with the guy on the regular, laughing their asses off at the idea of him feeling threatened by this crazy mother fucker.

   “Don’t worry about him. He’s a big softy. You’ll see.” Jack responded, a big smile on his face.

   “Seriously. He acts all tough, but he’s a romantic at heart. Lovely Ryan.” Gavin sighed.

   “Hey, assholes, let Ray form his own opinions of ‘Lovely Ryan’ when he meets him.” Geoff mocked, imitating Gavin’s accent.

  Gavin squawked in response which sent Geoff and Jack back into fits of giggles. When they had finally calmed down, Geoff kicked out everyone except Ray. With the door shut, the profanity coming from down the hall could no longer be heard. The office was plunged into an awkward silence.

   “Take a seat, kid. I wanna talk to you about a few things.” Ray sat in the leather chair facing Geoff’s desk as he took the seat opposing Ray. Geoff folded his hands casually on the desk.

   “Alright, money already got put into your account. Don’t worry about that. Also, we have a few rules here. First, no drinking the night before you have to shoot. You don’t drink so that doesn’t apply, but it makes the rest of us sloppy so we don’t do it. Second, we all live here. I expect you to as well. There’s a room for you. Ten times better than your shit apartment. And it makes it easier to find you. Some of the crew were hard to find not to far back, I won’t name any names, but ever since I make sure everyone I add to the main crew has a place to stay here. That means you, too.” Geoff pause for a moment before continuing.

   “That’s really it. We try to get along in Fake AH. We’ve had incidents in the past that I don’t want to repeat. We use words with each other. Not fists or guns. You got a problem, you talk it out. Clear?”

  Ray nodded. Geoff’s serious expression dissipated immediately.

   “Good. Now tell me how fucking sick that bike is! I’m so fucking jealous. Jack picked it out and wouldn’t even let me test drive it!”

                                                           ******************************************

  Moving into the penthouse happened a lot faster than Ray expected. In fact, after shooting the shit with Geoff for ten more minutes and then being dragged by Gavin to see the roof of the penthouse, Ray found himself in a sports car with Jack at the wheel and Gain in the tiny backseat bitching about how cramped his legs were on the way to his apartment to get the few belongings Ray had.

   “You guys don’t have to come in, I’ll be fine. It’s really not that much shit.” To be completely honest, he was embarrassed about the place. Compared to the penthouse, the apartment was a sty. It was clean, sure, but it was nothing compared to where he was going to be living. He lived in the shittiest part of town. His apartment was going to be shitty.  

  He wasn’t exactly sure why he’d agreed to living with these strangers. Not that he was sure he had a choice in the matter. Maybe it was because he had never gotten the chance to live lavishly. Maybe it was because he waited to know more about these people. Either way he agreed.

   “Nah, Ray, we want to help. No worries.” Jack reassured with a sweet smile. In the small amount of time he had been around Jack he had realized that Jack was basically the mom of the crew. He didn’t seem to fit into the murder/robber vibe that came along with a crew as notorious as the Fake AH crew. Gavin didn’t fit either. He was like a little kid, rambunctious, energetic, optimistic. And he never shut up. Maybe this went along with the fact that he was the crew’s resident hacker and hadn’t done much of the blood and guts part of being in a crew, or maybe he was just odd. Ray hadn’t decided.

  Ray shoved the bent key into the deadbolt and rammed his body against the wood as he twisted to dislodge it from the sticky frame. He turned and gave a nervous smile and and awkward shoulder raise to the appalled men behind him.

   “Welcome to casa del Ray.”

  They stepped through the threshold into the dingy living room. A cockroach skittered across the floor sending Gavin a foot in the air with a garbled gagging sound. He kept retching walking back out onto the apartment landing.

    “I’m gonna hang out here. You guys are alright, yeah?” Gavin gave a hesitant thumbs up from where he was standing. Jack scoffed and followed Ray deeper into the apartment.

    “I don’t think you’ll need any of your kitchen stuff,” said Jack while opening cabinets, “The penthouse has tons of stuff. Geoff thinks he’s master chef. Ryan, too, when he’s awake for a meal that is.”

  Ray drifted off into the bedroom, searching for his large dufflebag to shove his clothes into. He emptied the drawers into the bag. He didn’t have much. He found another bag, one of those recycle bags you get at the grocery store. He went around the room collecting various guns and bullets, including a sniper rifle. He went to the end table for his DS and a small stack of games he kept there.

  Ray returned to the main room of the apartment to find Jack thumbing through a videogame magazine that was on the kitchen counter.

   “You ready?” Jack asked, looking up from the magazine. Ray nodded and Jack unleaned from against the counter, rolling up the magazine and shoving it in his pocket.

   “Let me grab one of those bags from you.” Jack said with a hand outstretched. Ray handed over the gun bag to Jack. 

   “Is that a hot pink sniper?” Jack asked, pointing at the disassembled gun in the bag.

   “Yeah...I like pink.” Jack chuckled in response.

   “Alright, we just have one more thing to do before we go.” He pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket and handed it to Ray.

   “Go down to the office and pay the rest of your lease off. And send Pukey back in here to grab the rest of your stuff.”

  Ray nodded and left the apartment. Gavin was leaning over the railing of the landing, breathing deeply.

   “You good?” Ray asked, resting against the railing.

   “Think so. Just have a weak stomach. Sorry.” He looked a little green still.

   “No worries. Jack wants you back inside to grab my bag, but I can get it. Wanna go pay my rent instead?” Relief flooded Gavin’s face.

   “Yes! Thank you!” Ray handed Gavin the money and he sprinted down the hall, down the stairs, and into the office. Ray strolled back inside the apartment to grab the bag.

   “I sent Gavin down to the office. He was still very green.”

   “What a baby. Come on, let’s get you back and settled.” Jack smiled and patted Ray on the shoulder as he walk, he and Gavin willed by. Ray took one last look at his apartment and shut the door behind him.

                                                                                         **********************************

  Ray’s room was probably bigger than his whole apartment. The walls were bland but the room smelled like it had just been painted. A huge bed was in the corner with the fluffiest bedspread he had ever seen. Opposite was the largest TV Ray had ever seen hanging above a marble fireplace. A brand new XBOX One sitting on top of the mantle next to a huge stack of games. The room had it’s own bathroom with a beautiful tiled shower with one of those rain showerheads. Ray layed down on the bed and let out a large sigh.

   “Like it?” Geoff’s voice came from the doorway.

   “It’s awesome.” Ray responded. 

   “Great. You can do whatever you want to the walls. I don’t give a fuck. I’m glad you like it. I’m making dinner tonight to celebrate. We’ll eat around six. Hopefully everyone will join us.” Geoff let out a frustrated sigh.

   “You’re free to do whatever. We have playstation in the living room. I’m sure once Michael leaves his lair, he and Gavin will be there.”

   “Thanks, Geoff.” Ray said.

   “No problem, kid.”

Chapter Text

  “GAVIN YOU FUCKING FUCK!”

 Ray jolted awake. It took him a moment to remember that he was in the penthouse. He searched around the bed for his phone, pulling it out from under a pillow. 5:45 PM was displayed in large font on the screen. He got out of bed slowly, still groggy from his unexpected nap.

  “YOU FUCKING CHEATER! YOU’RE DEAD!”

 There was a loud thump and a surprisingly British sounding “Micool! No!” Ray left the room and walked down the hall towards the living room. There were two doors open now. The room across the hall was a cheery yellow color. The other was farther down the hall. It was painted a deep burgundy and had band posters covering parts of the walls.   Death Cab for Cutie , Arctic Monkeys , and some band he had never heard of, Enter Shikari .

 The smell of garlic hit Ray’s nose before he could process yet another large bang. Gavin was pinned to the floor by the crazy looking redhead Ray had seen on the news blowing up Funhaus.

  “You’re a dirty cheater, Gavvers and now you have to pay!” The redhead noogied Gavin who spewed random sounds. The TV was on, showing the Mario Kart winner screen. ‘Gavino’ was standing in the winner’s spot and ‘MLPMichael’ was in second place.

  “Shut the fuck up, Michael. You too, Gavin. Some of us are trying to be adults.” Geoff yelled from the kitchen.

  “Glad to see you’re finally up, Ray. Come here for a sec.”

 Ray strolled over to the kitchen narrowly avoiding the two wrestling on the floor.

  “Try this.” Geoff offered, holding a fork out with what looked like a crispy ravioli. He took the fork and bit into the weird ravioli. It was amazing, better than the frozen food he’d been eating for months.

  “What is that?” He mumbled through a full mouth.

  “Pierogi. Do you like it?” Geoff looked a little nervous, like if Ray said no he would trash the whole meal.

  “So good. Never tried that before.” Geoff looked a bit relieved.

  “Awesome. Alright douchebags, sit the fuck down. We’re eating dinner like a goddamn family. Jack! Ryan! Get the fuck out here!” Geoff yelled. Jack appeared a moment later, all smiles.

  “I’ll set the table.” Jack offered, pulling plates out of the cabinets.

  “Thanks, buddy.” Geoff waited a minute before speaking again, “ Do I even want to know where Ryan is? He asked Jack, looking concerned.

  “I think he’s up on the roof. Want me to grab him?”

  “Nah. Ray can. Gotta meet the guy sometime, right?”

                                                                                                                                                                      ******************************************

 To say Ray was nervous was an understatement. Meeting a vicious murderer wasn’t exactly at the top of his list of super fun shit to do. Yeah, sure, he killed people, but that was different. Shooting someone in the head once was different than skinning someone alive for, from what Ray had heard, his own amusement. Something about that made him not as hungry for dinner.

 The evening August air was warm and welcoming on Ray’s face as he pushed open the rusted door that led to the roof. Ryan was over by the edge of the building, smoking as he stared off at the city. He wasn’t wearing the mask Ray had seen him wear on the news, but he had face paint distorting his features. His blond hair was pulled back into a bun that was messily tied up, strands sticking out in random places.

 The metal door screeched shut abruptly behind Ray, making him to jump out of his skin, and Ryan to turn and glare at him, throwing his cigarette over the  edge of the building. Before he could recover from the heart attack he had just given himself, he heard the safety of a gun click off. Ryan approached him from where he was standing, pistol pointed at Ray’s head. Ray raised his hands in surrender, shaking like it was the first time he’d ever had a gun pointed at him (it wasn’t).

  “Who the fuck are you?” Ryan growled, eyes dark.

  “I-I’m Ray. Geoff hired me. I’m part of the crew now.” His voice betrayed him, a weak, fear-filled sound escaping his throat. Something about being near the Vagabond, even a maskless rocket launcher lacking version scared the shit out of him.

  “Geoff hired some pussy ass kid to work with us. Look at you, you’re shaking like a leaf. Already afraid of the Vagabond. Just wait til you see me torture some scaredy little kid like you for fun.” Ryan laughed dangerously, gun still pointed a Ray’s head.

  “Yeah, well at least I don’t spend hours brooding on the roof like Batman. Jesus, lame much?” Ray immediately regretted his taunt. He knew better than to taunt someone with a gun in this industry. Yet he watched Ryan falter a little at his comment, obviously not used to people fighting back.

  “First, I am not like Batman,” He said waving his gun a bit manically, “Fuck vigilantes. Second, I was not brooding.” Ryan looked wildly offended. Ray just chuckled, feeling a little better now that he knew he could take the Vagabond down with words.

  “Yeah, whatever Bruce.” He said with a wave of his hand, “Dinner’s done when you’re finished up here, edgelord.” Ryan looked baffled.

  “Tell Geoff I’m not hungry.” Ryan responded with what Ray could not believe was a tinge of embarrassment.

  “Will do, Captain Emo, sir!” With that, Ray saluted and left the roof, jumping again when the door shrieked closed.

                                                                                                                                 ************************************************************************

  “So how’d it go?” Jack asked, looking hopeful. He was the only one in the dining room when Ray came in and sat down next to Jack.

  “Well, Bruce Wayne was quite cheery. First, he threatened me with a gun, then he called me a pussy. Typical Vagabond stuff I’m sure.” Jack looked disappointed, a sad smile on his face.

  “Give him time. Ryan’s had some struggles. He’s made so much progress already.”

  “I’ve had struggles, too. You don’t see me waving guns around willy nilly.” He hadn’t expected to be as mad as he was. He could feel the anger radiating off his body. Everyone else had been so welcoming when they had met Ray. What was Ryan’s major malfunction?

 As Ray stewed in his anger, Gavin and Michael came into the dining room, followed by Geoff. Michael reached over the table from where he was sitting to shake Ray’s hand.

  “Nice to meet you, bro.”

  “Yeah, you too.” Gavin took a seat next to Michael and Geoff took a seat at the head of the table. He quickly looked around and realized that they were one person short.

  “Where the fuck is Ryan?” Geoff questioned, frustration thick in his voice.

  “He said he wasn’t hungry.” Ray responded from the other end of the table. Geoff rubbed his hands over his face and stepped back from the table

  “Start without us. I’m going to try to coax the asshole down from the roof.” Geoff left the room without another word. Ray wasn’t sure how to feel. He felt like he was a kid again, Dad had gone out drinking and he and his mom were stuck eating alone again. She never spoke during those meals.

  “Is this my fault?” He asked nobody in particular. There was a pause.

  “Hell, no.” Michael exclaimed, “ He gets like this pretty regularly. Don’t worry about him.” This made Gavin laugh.

  “That was bloody cheesy, boi.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Gav. You called him lovely Ryan earlier. Don’t pretend like that isn’t the cheesiest shit on the planet.” Gavin blabbered away trying to defend himself which made everyone at the table crack up.

 Conversation came easily after that. Ray dished out food to everyone. Ryan and Geoff never came to eat.

                                                                                            **************************************************

 Three in the morning was not an ideal time to wake up, but here was Ray wide fucking awake, futilely trying to go back to sleep. Even with the TV on, Danny Phantom playing softly to keep his thoughts at bay, there was no hope.

 Begrudgingly, Ray got out of bed, grabbed his DS and a blunt from the little drawer in the bedside table, and set out for the roof. It wasn’t that Ray had nightmares or anything, it was more that he couldn’t get his brain to stop thinking. Lots of times it was about killing. Just remembering shooting people. Gunshot after gunshot replaying over and over. Guilt sometimes racked his body causing him to break down in the middle of the night alone. Not everybody he had killed was a criminal.

 Other times he didn’t know why he couldn’t sleep. He would just be overwhelmed with anxiety. He had been anxious for as long as he could remember. At one point he had take antidepressants for it, but the made him feel foggy all the time. Sometimes he self medicated with drugs, but nothing stronger than weed. He didn’t want to fall down that rabbit hole, especially when addition problems run in the family.

 The city was quiet at night. It was really the only time it was ever quiet. Ray learned up against the edge of the roof, looking down at the street below. There was something comforting about the sick feeling it gave him in his stomach. He lit his blunt, taking a deep drag. Ray felt the calm overtake him. He smoked for a while just staring down at the street, thinking about the penthouse and the people he had met. It was a strange relationship they had. Tay had never known of a crew that lived together like the Fake AH did. It was different, not necessarily bad, just different. He actually kind of like it.

 Ray had never had roommates before and he liked almost everyone in the penthouse. Except for Ryan. It’s what he should have expected from some vicious murderer, but he was still shocked and curious. What made him act that way?

 Ray’s train of thought was broken by the screeching of the roof access door. Michael’s head popped through the roof. He spotted Ray and slid through the crack coming into view with a large bottle of whiskey in hand, half empty.

  “Rayyyyyy! Heyyyyy!” Michael slurred, shuffling over towards the edge of the roof. He stumbled slightly, but Ray caught his arm, steadying him.

  “Woah, buddy, maybe you’ve had enough.” Ray said, concern lacing his voice.

  “Maybe you’ve had enough!” Michael laughed. He teetered hazardously, falling into the wall next to Ray.

  “Are you smoking weeeed, Rayyyy?” Ray rolled his eyes, watching Michael take a large gulp from the bottle.

  “Hell yeah, dude. 420 Juh Blaze.” Ray took a long drag. He felt his brain separate from his mind. He felt like he was ten feet away from his body. Ray passed the blunt to Michael who took a drag as well.

  “Isn’t it lonely to drink alone?’ Ray asked, looking out at the city.

  “Yeah, but if you’re already lonely, then you don’t have too much to lose.” Michael seemed a lot more sober now. Ray flicked the butt of his blunt over the edge of the building. He watched it fade away.

  “My turn for a question now.” Michael looked at Ray like he was evaluating him, trying to find the most personal question he could to ask. He took another long drink from the bottle. Almost finishing it off.

  “Shoot.” Ray said, but the anxiety was already creeping back into his body, nauseating him.

  “I’ve got one. What kind of games do you like?” Michael eyed him, swaying back and forth, looking like he was going to go down any minute.

  “I love the classics. Pokemon, Zelda, Megaman. I’m all about Call of Duty, too, but I guess that’s predictable due to my occupation. What about you?”

  “Yeah, me too. None of that rage quit bullshit through. Fuck QWOP and Surgeon Simulator. Gavin and I played those once, I swore never again.” Michael finished the bottle of whiskey as Ray chuckled, remembering the string of curses he had heard coming from the bedroom when he’d first come to the penthouse earlier that morning.

  “I can tell.” Ray responded, but Michael was silent. He turned to look at the redhead. Michael was out cold, slumped against the wall, bottle hanging loosely in his hand. Ray sighed. Add this to the list of reasons he didn’t drink.

  “Alright, Michael, bedtime.” Ray tugged at his arm, trying to pull him up. Michael only grunted.

  “Well, shit.” Ray shook Michael’s shoulders rousing him enough to haul him up and get an arm behind his back. The empty bottle fell from Michael’s hand and smashed on the ground.

  “Jesus, dude, you’re fucking heavy. And your hungover ass is cleaning up that up tomorrow.” He dragged Michael to the rusty door. He struggled to get it open with one hand which sent half awake Michael into a fit of laughter.

  “Oh, shut up.” Ray reprimanded as he finally got the door open, but Michael did not stop. He laughed all the way down the stairs and down the hall. There was only one door open in tn the hall. Ray dragged Michael inside. They were in the burgundy room. Band and video game posters plastered the walls. It was just as nice as Ray’s room. Huge TV with a billion games, but also a large sound system with speakers in every corner. There was a desk with a high end computer on top, any empty space around it could not be seen. It was stacked high with CDs and records. Even the desk chair was full of cases.

 Ray dropped laughing Michael on the bed, sitting down next to him feeling kind of awkward to be intruding in his space.

  “You good, dude?” Ray asked. Michael had been laughing for like five minutes straight. Ray was actually starting to worry. Just like that, the smallest hint of concern had Michael switched from hysterical laughter to hysterical crying.

  “Oh shit, man. D-did I do something?” Ray was frantic. He had never really been good with tears, let alone those of a stranger.

  “No -SOB- It’s not -SOB- you -SOB-.” Michael rolled face down and continued to cry. Ray didn’t know what to do. He awkwardly placed a hand on Michael’s back and rubbed small circles. He seemed to calm down a little. The sobbing subsided suddenly. Michael got up quickly, looking at Ray who didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t get a chance to contemplate his choice of words before Michael spoke.

  “I think I’m gonna hurl.” He ran to the bathroom, not even shutting the door before he started vomiting forcefully.

  “Thought that was Gavin’s shtick.” Ray yelled from the bed.

  “Yeah-” Michael responded before forcefully retching again.

                                                                                                                      ************************************************************************

 Seven AM was way too early for Ray to be awake. He was sitting at the kitchen counter, Red Bull in hand, fighting off exhaustion. His attempts at getting back to sleep had failed miserably. After getting Michael some water when he had finally stopped puking, the two had talked for a while, trying not to be completely awkward. Ray could not deal with any more awkward encounters so he faked a yawn and excused himself to bed. After laying in bed til five, then playing XBOX til six, Ray figured he should just get up and deal with the fact that he was going to spend his day being miserable and tired.

 His train of thought was interrupted by the loud banging of cabinets opening and closing. Ray looked up from where he was staring at the table to see Geoff pouring coffee into the filter.

  “You’re up early.” He said without looking away from what he was doing.

  “Yeah, I didn’t sleep very well.” Geoff tsked.

  “Heard that before. You definitely aren’t alone.”

  “I know. Ran into Michael at like three am.” Ray cringed a bit at the memory.

  “Just Michael? I’m surprised.” Geoff poured a cup of coffee, WORLD’S BEST BOSS emblazoned on the side of the mug. Geoff went into another cabinet and pulled out a bottle of brown liquor, pouring it generously into the coffee. He put the bottle back and took the seat next to Ray, sipping his spiked coffee noisily, letting out a satisfied sigh.

  “It wasn’t just Michael. It was drunk, clumsy, crying, puking Michael.” Geoff raised his eyebrows, but didn’t say anything. He sipped his coffee again. Ray didn’t understand why he wanted to tell him this. He was sure Geoff wouldn’t care. Just another crime boss with a disposable crew. Yet, Ray continued, remembering how familial Geoff had been with everyone, including himself.

  “It was just weird, you know? One minute he was talking about being lonely. Next he was asking me about games, then he was crying. It was just a lot.”

  “Yeah, I can imagine.” Geoff got up and put his now empty mug in the dishwasher.

  “Is that something I should get used to? Drunk, crying Michael?”

  “Drunk, yes. Crying, no. He’s an emotional guy, but not a crier. You’ll see what I mean once you get to know him.” Geoff sat down back down next to Ray.

  “And what’s up with the Vagabond? What his deal? Does he like to make people miss meals on the reg? Or is that just because I’m here.” Ray asked flatly, sighting heavily. Geoff patted his shoulder lightly.

  “Definitely no you. Ryan can be sort of an acquired taste. He also has a hard time with new people.”

  “Really, cause he just seemed like an asshole to me.” Geoff chuckled.

  “Oh yeah, he’s definitely an asshole, but he’s also a complicated guy.”

  “I guess.” Ray rolled his eyes, but Geoff wasn’t paying attention. He was tapping lightly on his phone, sending a text to who knows. Geoff sent the message and looked up from the phone.

  “We’re having a crew meeting today. Just the six of us. We have some things to discuss and I want to get a move on ASAP as possible.:

  “Sounds good.” Ray responded. He was kind of excited to work again. Doing something that came easily to him helped take away some of his anxiety and that was definitely what he needed after the last few days.

 Geoff’s phone started ringing, jolting Ray out of thought again. Geoff swiped the screen to answer, holding the phone up to his ear.

  “Hey, Ry. Listen I need you here around…” His voice faded as he left the room, giving a small wave over his shoulder as he left.

Chapter Text

It was not hard to kill time in the penthouse. With the huge stack of games he had and the endless amount of gaming systems, Ray had more than enough to occupy himself. It was lunchtime by the time anyone else in the house had woken up. At around one o’clock, the door across the hall from Ray’s opened revealing a groggy, half asleep Gavin. He trudged sluggishly across the hall to Ray’s open door and flopped unceremoniously onto the bed. Ray just passed him a controller and started up multiplayer Call of Duty.

Jack walked past an hour later, peeking his head in to let them know that the crew was meeting at four. By three, loud, angry music was blasting down the hall.

            “Michael’s in one of his moods, Gavin said quietly. He grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bag he had made.

            “What does that mean?” Ray asked, pausing their game of Peggle.

            “Well,” Gavin rubbed his hand through his already messy hair, “That means that he’s in a mood. I don’t bloody know how to explain it. He’s minged off!” Gavin said exasperated.

            “What the fuck is ‘minged off’?”

            “You know, pissed, angry, mad. Take your pick.” Gavin sighed. “He’s always playing music like that when he’s mad.”

At four o’clock, Jack could be heard yelling over Michael’s music and banging on the door. The music stopped suddenly, door opening. Jack talked quietly, the door shut again. Jack appeared at Ray’s door again. He didn’t look as cheerful as usual.

            “Come on, guys,” was all he said, disappearing as quickly as he appeared.

Gavin and Ray were the last two to arrive in the living room. Geoff was sitting in a huge arm chair texting. Jack was sitting to Geoff’s right, flipping through a huge stack of papers. Across from the was Michael taking up a whole loveseat, looking like a cross between furious and extremely embarrassed. He made brief eye contact with Ray, but looked away too quickly for him not to know something was up. Next to Michael was Ryan in full mask. Leather jacket and boots making him look extremely intimidating.

Ray and Gavin took the large couch, Ray sitting as far away from Michael and Ryan as possible. Gavin looked extremely concerned at his the mental state of his boi. Geoff tossed his phone on the coffee table, picking up what looked like a rather large glass of whiskey off the table. He took a large gulp. Jack gave a disapproving look in his direction, but hid it quickly. If Geoff had noticed, he ignored it.

            “We have a few things to discuss today. First off, after the last mishap with our ammo supplier, it was difficult to find someone new, but being me and being the best, I have successfully acquired a new supplier which means we can all finally work again. Now Burnie’s a good guy. We go way back. Please don’t blow him up like you did the last guy.”

There were nods from Ryan and Michael, but no one spoke.

            “Glad we’re clear. Next order business, as everyone but Ray knows, we’ve been having some difficulty lately with a rival crew. Ray, I don’t know if you’ve heard of Edgar, he’s not down at Funhaus’s level, but he is a nasty son of a bitch. We spent the last month or so trying to take him down, but he just won’t die… literally. Now it’s personal. This fuck needs to go.”

            The room was thick with tension. Emotion was rolling off everyone in the room.

            “I’ve started working on a plan to take him out, but I want all your input here. If we're going to get rid of this asshole, we have to work together. Super cheesy, I know, but true.” Geoff took another swig of his whiskey. He looked very stressed for someone that did this always. Ray couldn’t imagine what had happened to this crew to fuck them up so badly. Geoff sighed and spoke again.

            “So I think in order to take Edgar down for good this time, we have to start at the bottom and work our way up. I’m talking small small. I know he’s pushing drugs. We’re going to start there. Shut down suppliers, take out his whole god damn crew one at a time if that’s what it takes”

            “Gavin, I need you to find out everything you can about him. I want to know his social, his mom’s birthday, when the last time he jerked it was, everything and I want to know it yesterday. We’re doing this right this time. Get to work.” Gavin gave a little salute.

            “Aye, aye, Cap’n!” He left the room looking eager to get started.

            “Michael,”

            “Yeah, boss.”

            “I need you to get working on the best exploves you can come up with. Shit that will obliterate a building.” Michael left the room without another word, heading off to his room.

            “Ryan, you and Ray are going to meet Burnie to get supplies so Michael can start working.” Ryan started to protest, but Geoff interrupted.

            “Just do it, stop bitching. Jack, you’re with me. We’re working on finalizing the plan for tomorrow. Then when Gavin gets the info, we can be prepared. Got it?

Everyone nodded.

            “You two, Geoff pointed, “go now and see Burnie.”

Ryan stood up, ignoring Ray completely, heading for the door. Geoff gave Ray a thumbs up as he stood, following Ray out the door.

The elevator ride was nothing less than extremely awkward. Ryan said nothing the entire way down to the garage. His mask was a dead stare, looking at absolutely nothing. It was unsettling. Ray’s stomach was turning furiously. He didn’t think he’d ever get over his stupid fear of the Vagabond. It was completely ridiculous, yet his heart was racing and he was fidgeting nervously with his pistol.

Getting out of the elevator was a huge relief. The breath he was holding wooshed out. He felt his stomach settle a bit until he found himself in a cramped sports car. Ryan pulled off the mask once he was situated in the car revealing red, black, and white paint covering his face, smudged in spots from the mask rubbing against it. He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket, shoving one between his lips. He put the car in reverse, pulling out of the spot between Ray’s bike which had been stuck there by a valet when he arrived and a chrome car with the license plate 00MOGAR.

The garage door opened automatically when Ryan drove up to it. He stopped the car for a moment, carefully lighting his cigarette with a green lighter, then he hit the radio on. Ray expected something loud and angry to play, something along the lines of what Michael had been listening to earlier that morning. Instead, Frank Sinatra’s voice singing “Come Fly with Me” poured out of the radio.

Ryan took a long drag before speeding out of the garage and down the street. Ryan smoked heavily as they drove, causing Ray to cough as the smoke filled the cramped space.

“You know, those will kill you, don’t ya?” Ray asked in a mocking tone. Ryan glared back, still smoking.

Ray tapped his fingers on his leg, pretending Ryan hadn’t just threatened him with his eyes.

            “Never pegged you for a Frank Sinatra guy. I expected something way more emo.” Ray spoke again. He really didn’t have a filter. The sarcasm just came out when he was nervous.

            “Maybe it’s your dark, stormy persona.”

            “Shut. Up.” Ryan forced out.

            “Hey, man. I’m just making friendly conversation.” He didn’t know when to stop.

            “What part of shut up do you not understand, Ray?” His teeth were gritted, breath jagged.

            “Aww you called me by my name. We must be making progress. Maybe you can make us friendship bracelets next to really show you care.”

            Ryan swerved off the road into the shoulder, shoving the car into park. He turned to Ray, a vicious look in his eyes.

            “Jesus, Ryan, what’s got your panties in a bunch?” Ray exclaimed. He saw Ryan shudder slightly.

            “Don’t fucking call me that…” He spat, gathering himself, “What’s got my panties in a fucking bunch is you! You don’t ever shut up. It’s like being around Gavin except he knows when to keep his goddamn mouth shut!” Ryan threw his cigarette butt out the window and immediately lit another.

            “Geoff said you have a hard time with new people. Is that why you’re being such a dick? Just cause you don’t like new people? I don’t and you don’t see me acting like an asshole 24/7.” Ryan gripped the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white against the dark leather.

            “Geoff said what?” Ryan was looking straight ahead. He was grinding his teeth forcefully.

            “He said you had a hard time with new people and that you’re complicated.” Ray was beginning to regret instigating. He hadn’t expected things to go this far. There was obviously way more going on with Ryan than Geoff had let on.

            “That’s it?” He asked quietly.

            “That’s it.”

            “Okay. Get the fuck out.” Ryan didn’t turn to look at Ray, he just continued to smoke.

            “You can’t be serious.” Ray was pissed.

            “I’m always serious.” Ryan’s voice was flat. No anger, no emotion at all. It was more terrifying.

             “We’re in like the worst part of Los Santos! You’d really leave me here?

            “Best shot in the city, right? You’ll be fine. Get the fuck out.”

            “Fucking make me!” Ray yelled, anger getting the better of him.

            “Fine.” Ryan unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Ray locked the door before Ryan could open it. He stuck out his tongue at the man, taunting him.

            “Have it your way.” Ryan said before he smashed out the back window. He stuck his hand in the window, unlocking the front door. Ryan opened it and yanked Ray out, throwing him to the ground.

            “You’re fucking crazy, Ryan.”

            “Yeah. They don’t call me mad for nothing.” Ryan winked, flipping Ray off as he got back into the car.

            “Real mature!” Ray yelled from the ground as he lifted himself up. He inspected his right hand that definitely had glass in it due to the blood pouring out of it, and what was probably a sprained wrist. The car screeched away, flying down the road, leaving Ray alone.

            Ray only had one of the crew’s phone numbers so far. Jack had forced him to take it after clearing out his apartment, ‘just in case’. He was glad for Jack’s preparedness now that he was like ten miles from the penthouse. Hitting call, Ray put the phone up to his ear waiting for Jack to answer.

            “Hey! You guys good?” Jack answered, sounding a little nervous, obviously not having expected the phone call.

            “Yeah, except for the part where Ryan left me on the side of the rode in the worst part of the city. Otherwise, doing great.” Ray let the sarcasm spew out.

            “He did what?” Jack asked, sounding confused.

            “Completely abandoned me. Think you can come pick me up?”

Ray could think of a thousand places he would rather be than walking down the streets of Los Santos alone. Disney World, the movies, even back on the roof having that conversation again with Michael sounded better than where he was now. It’s not that he couldn’t defend himself. He definitely could. It was more the fact that he had like zero street cred and that’s really what you needed not to get killed by a random stranger in Los Santos. And besides the fact that he stuck out like a sore thumb with his purple hoodie and converse, he was a huge target just because he looked vulnerable. He still had his gun hidden under his hoodie, but he couldn’t let anyone passing know. That’s how you get shot out of ‘self defense’.He started back towards the direction of the penthouse, hoping that he could meet up with Jack sooner rather than later. Ray put his hood up and kept his head down. In theory, this would be enough to keep him from drawing attention, or it could just make him look like a stupid kid in the wrong part of town. The street lights started turning on as the sun was setting. Ray kept walking back in the direction he had come. His phone buzzed in his pocket, he pulled it out to see a text from Jack.

Be there in a jiffy :)

Ray chuckled to himself at Jack’s emoji. It was still so shocking to him how these people could work for the most notorious crew in the city and still be so friendly. Ray’s thoughts were interrupted as he felt someone grab the hood of his jacket and push something painfully into his back. He was forced into an alley off the street where he was shoved into the brick of the surrounding building.

            “I want your phone and whatever other good shit you got on you. Hand it over or I’ll blow your brains out.” The man rasped.

            “Alright, here.” Ray said, remaining as calm as possible, handing over his phone to the man behind him.

            “Hands in the air, kid. Now!” He yelled. Ray raised his arms slowly, breathing steadily. The mugger came up behind Ray, lifting his hoodies and shirt just enough to pull the gun out of his waistband. The man trailed his fingers against Ray’s skin just enough to make his skin crawl. The muggers hands groped down the rest of Ray’s body for valuables, but found nothing.

            “Turn around.” The man demanded. Ray turned quickly grabbing the gun out of the mugger’s hand, firing one shot at his hip, sending him to the ground howling in pain. Ray quickly picked up his gun and phone, holding onto the mugger’s gun as well. He rushed out of the alley, getting as far away from the scene as he could.

Ray’s heart was racing as it always did in a situation like this. He had never really gotten over the rush of shooting. It was always there, even when you didn’t aim to kill. A very suburban mom type sedan pulled up slowly as Ray half sprinted down the street.

            “Yo, Ray!” Jack’s head popped out of the passenger’s side window. He walked up to the sedan, hopping in the back seat quickly.

            “Is that blood? Jack asked pointing to Ray’s hoodie. Geoff turned from the driver’s seat to look at the blood spattered down Ray’s jacket and jeans.

            “Yeah. We really need to get the fuck out of here.” Ray said, looking around frantically, making sure there weren’t any cops coming. Geoff put the car in drive, making a very illegal u-turn in the middle of the rode.

            “What happened to you?” Jack asked, concern thick in his voice, practically climbing in the backseat to inspect Ray’s injuries.

            “I’m fine, relax.”

            “You don’t look fine.”

            “Some guy tried to mug me, no big.

            “‘No big’? You’re literally covered in blood.” Jack said frantically.

            “Yeah, most of it’s not mine. Shot him in the hip. Hurts like hell, but he’ll live. Lots of people pointing guns at me this week though. It’s become a pattern.” Ray said, but Jack didn’t look too convinced.

            “Seriously, I’m okay. You can check me out when we get back if it’ll make you feel better.”

            “Fine.” Jack said, not one hundred percent satisfied.

            “Well, personally I’m glad you’re okay,” Geoff said, not looking away from the road, “cause now Ryan gets to live to see another day.”

The rest of the ride was silent, which Ray was grateful for. It gave him time to clear his head before the inevitable interrogation that was to come when they got home. Geoff parked out front of their building, everyone getting out. He tossed the keys to Brock the guard, heading towards the building. The three of them got into the elevator for what was Ray’s second most awkward elevator ride of the day. Ray could feel Jack’s eyes all over him, searching for injury. Geoff was fuming silently bringing down the mood of everyone around him.

It was quiet upstairs. If someone else was in the penthouse Ray couldn’t tell. Geoff walked to the kitchen, pulling the whiskey out of the cabinet. Jack went to him, whispering something in his ear. Anger spread across his face, but he put the bottle back in the cabinet unopened.   

            “I said  I want you guys talking things out for a reason.” Geoff turned to Ray, obviously furious.

            I’m really sorry. I don’t know what happened.” Ray responded, suddenly worried about getting kicked out of the crew. Geoff let out a long sigh. Jack put his hand on Geoff’s back, but it was gone before Ray could figure out what the touch meant.

            “It’s not you. I’m going to have another talk with Ryan. This is unacceptable.” Ray was silent.

            “We need each other to take down Edgar. We weren’t a team then, but we are now. We were hurt then. We’re strong now.” Geoff and Jack stood close together, looking lost in thought.

            “I’ll talk to him again. I’m going to fix this.”

            “Okay, Geoff,” was all Ray could get out. At this point, he didn’t think anything could be salvaged. Ryan had literally ripped him from a car and left him to die. It was hard to take anything good out of a relationship like that.

            “Go get cleaned up. You look like a mess.”

Water beat down on Ray’s head, scalding his skin. He was sat on the floor of the shower, trying to take in the events of the day. He let the water fall over his cut up hand and bruised wrist. He had cleaned out all the glass, but his wrist was still fucked up. It was black and blue around the circumference, but it definitely wasn’t broken. Jack had looked him over thoroughly before he left to shower. He had made him promise to put ice on it later. Ray had dark fingerprint-sized bruises up his arm from Ryan yanking him out of the car. He was more upset than angry this time around. Ray was sure now that there was something wrong with Ryan more than the whole Vagabond thing. Something had happened to the Fake AH crew that was so bad that they tried to avoid it at all costs. Ray actually found himself feeling guilty for a moment about the way he had reacted to Ryan, but even if something was wrong, it wasn’t an excuse for Ryan to get physical with him.

The water got cold after what felt like an hour. Ray got out, shivering in the AC. He put on the warmest pajama pants he had and a thick hoodie. The fluffy comforter called to him. He climbed into bed, pulling the blanket completely over his head. The air was too warm under the comforter, but Ray didn’t move, letting the heat defrost him as he enjoyed the darkness that quickly pulled him into long awaited sleep.

Ray woke to a loud bang on the door.

            “Yeah?” he called from the little hole he had made in his blanket fort. Gavin opened the door cautiously, waiting for approval to come in.

            “What’s up?” Gavin didn’t respond. He shuffled in the room, shutting the door behind him. He had a laptop in his arms and he had a guilty look on his face.

            “Can I show you something?” He asked. Ray didn’t respond, he just flipped back the blanket to invite Gavin over. He walked to the bed looking nervous. Gavin climbed under the covers next to Ray, trying to give the other man some space. He opened up the laptop and started clicking in different programs.

            “I may have heard some yelling from Geoff’s office and I wanted to, ya know, get a better listen so…” Geoff’s office popped up on the screen through what looked like a security camera feed.

            “You hacked into Geoff’s office? Are you nuts?” Ray asked, stunned that Gavin of all people would have the guts to do something so risky.

            “Well, they were talking about you. I thought you’d want to know what they were saying.” And he did, but some part of Ray felt like this was a terrible idea. He didn’t protest, however, he just watched the feed.

Geoff was sitting behind his desk, a lass in hand, talking as Ryan paced back and forth in and out of the camera’s line of sight.

            “Turn it up.” Ray demanded. Gavin hit a few buttons making the volume just able to be heard.

            “You pulled him out of the car, Ryan! You left him alone. That’s really fucked up. He almost got mugged.” Geoff rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

            “But he didn’t. Ray can take care of himself. And besides, you told him about me. What the fuck is that about?” Ryan was still pacing. He had no mask on, his hair had mostly fallen out of the bun, looking messy and wild.

            “I didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know from being around you.”

            “Whatever”

            “We’re a team, Ryan. We need each other to take down Edgar. Don’t you of all people want him dead?” There was a long pause before Ryan spoke.

            “Don’t say his fucking name in front of me, Geoff.” Ryan spat. He pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and inhaled deeply.

            “I’m sorry, Ry. I don’t know what else to call him.” Geoff looked so sad and tired. He had seen so much and it showed on his face.

            “Anything! Call him the cow for all I care! Just not his name…” Ryan shuddered violently. He stopped pacing, gripping the chair facing Geoff for support. He was still smoking, but he was having difficulty keeping his hand steady enough to do so.

            “I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to face him again.”  Geoff walked to Ryan, holding his arms out for what looked like a hug, but Ryan just shook his head.

            “I can’t. I’m sorry. Please don’t touch me.”

Ray felt nauseated. He looked over at Gavin who was distant.

            “Turn it off, Gav.” He shut the laptop and got out of bed.

            “We shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have… just forget it. We should have left well alone.” Gavin left shutting the door behind him.

Chapter Text

It was two AM when Ray awoke, sweating profusely, breathing ragged. The nightmare had been nothing like he had ever had before. He was tied to a chair in an unfamiliar room, obviously kidnapped. The walls were covered in bloody torture devices: saws, knives, chains. A man entered the room slowly. Over his head he wore that of a cow. It was dripping blood, eyes gouged out so the man could see. He said nothing, just circled Ray, sharp, thin knife in hand. Suddenly Ray’s body was covered in cuts, from his legs to his face. Stripes of red oozing blood as the Cow cackled, watching Ray scream.

  Ray found himself up on the roof again, because obviously he hadn’t learned from the night before. No one joined him. Ray played his DS alone until the sun came up.

            Geoff was already in the kitchen making his coffee when Ray came down from the roof. The man looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept in days. Ray was sure the conversation he and Gavin had seen the night before had taken its toll on Geoff. Ray wished he could comfort him in some way, but he was bad enough at that kind of thing in a normal situation, let alone one where he wasn’t supposed to know about.

            The second that Geoff saw Ray, he changed from emotional wreck to Ray’s best buddy.

            “We’ve got a lot to do today, kid! First day of the rest of our lives, or whatever.” He took a quick sip of his coffee before continuing.

            “Today we’re gonna fuck Edgar up so bad. Today we take out his drug suppliers. We’re gonna blow that bitch into oblivion!”

            “Awesome. Can’t wait.” Ray faltered. He was nervous about the whole thing. Not only was half the crew mad at him or upset, but now he was starting to learn more about Edgar. Now he had this constant nausea swirling deep in his stomach. And the fact that he was being kept purposely out of the loop, wasn’t helping either.

            “You hungry? I can make you something.” Geoff asked, pulling Ray away from his thoughts. His stomach turned at the thought.

            “Nah, I’m not really hungry.”

            “You might not be, but I sure am.” Gavin yelled from the entrance to the kitchen. He shuffled in, laptop in hand, and plopped down at the counter.

            “I’m not feeding you, asshole.” Geoff said, crossing his arms.

            “Why not? Why is Ray so special?” He feigned upset, pouting dramatically.

            “Ray’s the new kid, that’s why.”

            “But I’ve got something you want.” Gavin winked, voice low and flirtatious. Geoff immediately became serious.

            “You found him?”

            “I’m the best damn hacker in the county, ‘course I found him!” Gavin squealed. Geoff ran to him, scooping him up in his arms, hugging him tightly.

            “You’re bloody squeezing me to death!” Gavin wriggled around in the embrace, but Geoff didn’t let go for at least a full minute.

            “Change of plans.” He said, clapping his hands together excitedly, “We’re taking this fucker down today.” The feeling in the room changed quickly.

            “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Ray asked quietly, not really sure if it was his place to contradict him.

            “What the fuck do you mean? Of course I thinking it’s a good idea!” Geoff growled, anger flooding quickly through him.

            “Geoff…,” Gavin interrupted, “we should wait. After last time…” he trailed off, obviously hoping Geoff would understand.

            “I’m in charge and what I say goes. We are killing this motherfucker and it’s happening today.”

            “I’m eager for it to be over, too, but it’s not smart. Maybe you and Jack should talk about it, ya know, before you make any big decisions.” Gavin whispered nervously. He put his hand cautiously on Geoff’s arm, but he shrugged it off.

            “Fine, if you think I’m not capable of making decisions, I’ll talk to Jack, but you two better remember who the fucking boss is around here, because his name sure isn’t Ray or Gavin.” Geoff stormed off down the hall A door slammed, shaking the whole penthouse. A minute passed before either of them spoke again.

            “I didn’t mean to start a fight.” Ray said. Gavin was staring off at nothing, completely zoned out.

            “It’s not your fault. He’s wrong. We can’t take Edgar on today.” He sighed loudly, scrubbing his hands over his face. “We need to prepare. Geoff hasn’t seen the kind of resources he has. I have. He’s beyond anyone we’ve dealt with before. Even since we fought him last, he’s doubled his mercs, his supplies, everything. We need to be smart this time.” Gavin looked at Ray, there was something in his expression that made his gut twist.

            “He’s a really bad guy.”

            “We’re not necessarily good guys.” Ray replied.

            “We’re not, but he’s done things we’d never do. Things I hope I can forget some day.”

            “Like, what?” Ray asked, skin crawling from the tension. Gavin didn’t answer for a while. He tapped around on his computer for a moment before turning back.

            “It doesn’t matter. We’re not ready.” Ray nodded. He understood where Geoff was coming from. Gavin obviously did, too. It was hard not to get emotional when people you cared about got hurt. They didn’t speak for a while. Gavin was watching what looked like a camera feed of a warehouse in some back alley area of Los Santos. There were people milling about, some had guns, some were moving crates with the word EXPLOSIVES plastered across the side. There were at least twenty people outside the building. Gavin clicked something else changing the image to another building on a main street. A couple shady looking cars were driving away from it. Gavin shut the laptop.

            “I better go give the info to Geoff. Hopefully, Jack calmed him down a bit.” He stood up, but didn’t leave, “Hey, do you want to do something fun today?” Gavin looked hopeful, like he needed a break from the house and he hoped Ray could supply.

            “Yeah, okay. What did you have in mind?” Gavin’s face lit up with excitement. He bounced a little in his seat like a little kid. Ray couldn’t help but smile.

            “Don’t you have a weak stomach?” Ray asked, anxiety thick in his voice as he watched the people on the ground get smaller and smaller.

            “Oh yeah! Gavin yelled, kicking his feet wildly.

            “Okay, so why are we like a hundred feet in the air about to plummet to our death?”

            “Because I don’t puke til after!” The seats plummeted suddenly. They screamed, Ray held tightly to the harness keeping him in the ride. At the bottom they bounced back up to the top of the tower, but Ray had his eyes shut tight. He had never been a fan of amusement park rides. There was enough adrenaline in his daily life. Gavin was still screaming next to him like he was having the time of his life

            When they got off the ride, Gavin was immediately nauseous. He sat on a bench on the pier, breathing deeply, trying to keep the contents of his stomach in.

            “Head  between your knees.”  Ray said, pushing Gavin’s head, guiding it down gently.

            “Thanks.” Gavin whispered. He gagged a little, but recovered. Ray reached out a hand to his back.

            “I’m good, I’m good.” He waved Ray away.

            “You wanna do another ride?”

            “Oh god no.” Gavin gagged again, this time running to the nearest trash can, hand clamped over his mouth. Ray could only laugh.

            The sun was setting as Ray and Gavin strolled on the beach. Both were holding their sneakers, shuffling through the water. They weren’t really talking about anything. They had spent a while talking about life before the crew. Gavin had gotten into computers in high school back in England. He started out small with hacking, emails of local politicians and such. Then one day for a laugh, he tried to hack the British government...and he succeed. Of course one thing led to another and he got called to be interrogated, so he got out of dodge. He left the country without a trace.

            “How’d you do it? How’d you get out if you were like a wanted criminal or whatever.? Ray had asked. Gavin lowered his sunglasses, giving a wink.

            “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” Ray just rolled his eyes, shoving Gavin playfully.

Gavin was tapping lightly on his phone, looking unhappy.

            “We should get back. They’re wondering where we are.” Gavin sighed. He obviously was not ready to return to the penthouse. “It’s just hard sometimes being cooped up there for too long. Especially after everything that happened. Everyone’s always on edge.”

            “I can understand that.”

            “It’s just hard for everyone to move past.”

            Gavin’s phone rang suddenly causing them both to jump. Some stupid preset tone blared from the speakers. He swiped quickly, holding the phone to his ear.

            “Hello, my lovely Micool.” Gavin said, smiling slightly. It fell quickly. Ray could hear Michael’s angry voice through the speaker. Gavin pulled the phone away a bit to keep Michael’s yells from blowing his eardrum.

            “I know. I just needed to get away for a while.” He sighed, “I know, we’re heading back now.” There was a long pause from Gavin. Michael continued to talk, a little softer now, but still yelling.

            “Yeah, I understand. Can we talk about it later, love?” Ray heard a ‘yeah’ from Michael before Gavin said his quick goodbye and hung up. He left out a soft sigh, running his hands through his hair.

            “Let’s go home. We have work to do.”

Riding his motorcycle was one of Ray’s favorite things. It was dumb, but feeling the wind through his hair, speeding between cars, and now feeling Gavin’s arms wrapped tightly around his waist, made him feel a way the nothing else but his sniper could. He swerved quickly through traffic, feeling Gavin tense against him.

            “Sorry!” He yelled over the rumbling of the engine. He felt Gavin nod his head where it was resting against Ray’s back. He was sure Gavin was the only person in the world who loved amusement parks, but was terrified of motorcycles. As soon as they pulled into the penthouse garage, Gavin was hopping off the bike.

            “Bloody hate motorcycles.” He said shaking his arms to loosen the tension.

            “Sorry Gav.” Ray said, but he wasn’t really listening. Michael was leaning in the doorframe, arms crossed, looking a little less than menacing.

           “Where have you guys been?” He asked, glaring at Ray.

           “We went down to the pier and did some rides.” Gavin answered. Michael’s eyebrows rose.

           “You two lovebirds have fun on your little date?” Michael mocked.

           “Can we do this later?” Gavin practically begged.

           “Do what later, Gavvers?” There was malice in his voice, enough to make Ray’s stomach sink with anxiety. “I’m just inquiring about romantic afternoon with Ray.”

          “Just because you’re jealous doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole!” Gavin yelled, getting frustrated at Michael’s immaturity. Ray watched as Michael’s face went from angry to what Ray could only describe as scandalized.

          “Jealous? You think I’m fucking jealous?” He spat through gritted teeth. 

         “Yeah, I do!” Gavin stormed toward Michael, anger flaring up in him as well. Michael was determined to meet him halfway. Ray rushed between them holding out his hands to keep them apart.

          “That’s enough, guys. You’re acting like children. Chill for like three seconds.” Ray breathed. The two men glared at each other around Ray for a few moments. Gavin finally relaxed after what felt like an eternity. He let out a loud breath.

           “It’s alright, boi. I’ll be the bigger man here and let it go. We’re going to talk about this later though, alone.”  Gavin stormed out of the garage, dragging Ray by the arm to wait for the elevator as he slammed the button.

          When they were inside the elevator, closed off from Michael, Gavin let out a yell.

            “What’s his problem! I opened up to him and he’s not ready! And then he acts like this, god, what a dumb, stupid idiot!” Gavin slumped back against the wall, crossing his arms with a huff. Ray was at a loss. He had no idea what to say, let alone feel about the situation.

            “Maybe he just needs more time?” Ray offered with a shrug.

            “It’s been weeks, Ray! He needs to figure out how he feels before he pushes me away again.” He was visibly upset. Ray stretched out his arms, offering a hug to Gavin. He sniffed and hugged Ray back.

            “Thanks...thanks for listening and letting me vent.”

            “No problem, man. Sorry, I’m not better at, you know, advice.”

            “It’s alright. You’re a good listener. It makes up for it.” He said with a chuckle, still holding on.

The elevator dinged. The two jumped apart abruptly as the doors opened. Geoff was waiting at the door when it opened. He pretended not to have noticed the hug, but Ray could tell he had. They didn’t even get a chance to step out before Geoff started grilling them.

            “Where have you two boners been? We’ve been waiting for you guys for hours. We have work to do!” Geoff walked to the living room without waiting for answer, obviously expecting them to follow. They all sat down around the coffee table, Gavin and Ray taking the open loveseat. Ryan and Jack were already seated, waiting for them. Geoff sat next to Jack. He growled suddenly making Jack jump.

            “Now, where the fuck is Michael?” He got up, storming off to the elevator, muttering curses under his breath.

            “Can you dicks hear me? This is Big Daddy coming in. Let me hear you guys.” Geoff’s voice rang out over the comm. Ray was on top of a department store in Downtown Los Santos, waiting for phase one of ‘Kick Edgar’s Teeth In’ to start.

            “Mingy Gobbler, here” Gavin giggled in his ear.

            “God, what a dumb fucking name.” Ray could practically see Geoff shaking his head.

            “Mogar’s ready to kill some bitches!” came Michael’s voice next, anger subsided a little now that he was given something to focus on.

            “Momma Bear, checking in.” called Jack.

            “Do I really have to say it?” Ryan grumbled into the mic.

            “Yes.” Geoff giggled.

            “Fine. Give Me Your Milk, happy now, dickhead?” Everyone cracked up over the comm. Ryan continued to grumble in the background.

            “And last, but definitely not least…”

            “420! Juh Blaze!” Ray yelled sending almost everyone back into fits of laughter.

            “Alright, idiots, you all remember the plan, right?” Geoff asked, seriousness returning to his voice.

            “Hell yeah! Burn this fucker to the ground!” Michael yelled, cackling crazily over the mic.

            They had spent a long time discussing their plan of action for the night. It seemed that Geoff had taken Gavin’s advice to talk to Jack about what they should do. Geoff hadn’t even brought up his plan of trying to kill Edgar immediately. He went straight into discussing the original plan of taking out the drug supply, once Michael had been retrieved.

            With the address Gavin had found, the plan was to blow the whole bitch to smithereens. Michael, Ryan, Gavin, and Geoff were taking out the building. Jack was driving and making sure they all got out if something went wrong. Ray was across the street sniping if necessary. The building was the same one he’d seen on Gavin’s computer. The same shady cars were parked out front even though it was late at night.

            It felt good to be back out working. He could have sworn months had passed since the last time he’d shot with his sniper, but it’d only been about a week. Ray was happy to be back doing something he was good at again.

            “You guys ready?” A chorus of yeses came from the crew.

            “Okay. Lights, camera, action.” Geoff whispered. Ray watched Geoff lead the three men from behind a building. Each had their choice of gun out and a large bulletproof vest on. Michael was lugging a huge duffle bag of explosives over his shoulder.

            The second they entered the building Ray knew something wasn’t right.

            “It’s empty…” Michael whispered over the comm, sounding confused.

            “What?” Ray asked.

            “Completely empty. Nothing. Looks like it was cleared out.

            “That’s weird…” Jack sounded concerned.

            “Who cares! Let’s just blow this place. I’ve got some pent up rage that a real good explosion would clear up.” Michael yelled, voice echoing in the mics of the people nearby.

            “Fine. Just keep your voice down and make it quick. Something doesn’t feel right.” Geoff answered. Ray could hear the worry in his voice. Michael whooped and began tossing things loudly around the building.

            It was barely a minute before tinted SUVs started pulling up out front of the building.

            “Shit. Guys, there’s a bunch of baddies showing up. Get the fuck out of there!”  Ray yelled into his mic. A stream of curses came from the men in the building and Jack who still back in the car. Ray rested his rifle on the ledge of the building men poured out of the cars. There had to be at least twenty people, all dressed in black with automatic rifles in hand.

            “Get out now!” Jack yelled.

            “I’ll hold them off, just run.” Ray demanded. He took a deep breath, calming himself for the first shot. He pulled the trigger, killing the man closest to the door. The whole group turned to look toward the direction of the shot as Ray ducked down behind the ledge.

            “RAY! Grenade launcher!” Jack screamed. Ray peaked over the edge to see a lackey with a launcher in hand, pulling the trigger. He ran as fast as he could to the fire escape that he had climbed to get to the roof. The blast flung him onto the rusty metal. The explosion left him with buzzing in his ears. Everything was just buzzing. He couldn’t hear anything out of the comm.

            Ray climbed back onto the roof, wobbling slightly from his messed up equilibrium. The building had a huge chunk missing from the front, but there was still enough space to walk. All the lackeys had turned their attention back to the building. They were entering through the front. Ray lined up his shot against the little bit of ledge that hadn’t been destroyed. He aimed, quickly pulling the trigger. One, two, three men in a row crumbled to the ground. Ray took another shot, killing two this time. He saw Geoff and Michael getting into the car.

            Three more shots, three more lackeys down. A woman picked up the grenade launcher off the ground, aiming once more at Ray. Gavin came out of the side of the building, dragging Ryan by the arm. Ray shot one more time, aiming at the grenade woman, but he missed. He didn’t stay to watch the grenade fly at him.

            He sprinted back towards the fire escape, tripping over rubble as he ran. Two flights of stairs was as far as up he got before the world exploded around him. Ray slammed into the grate under him, slicking his arm badly on the metal. Blood poured down his forearm, coating his hand.

            Another explosion rocked the building. Ray got up and quickly ran down the last couple of flights before a fourth grenade struck the building, sending him to the asphalt. He got up hurriedly as the building he was on began to crumble. He sprinted behind the closest wall, breathing deeply, trying not to fall over from the vertigo causing his head to spin. The dust from the building surrounded him, causing him to cough painfully. He sat for a moment getting his bearings. His arm was still bleeding heavily. He slung the sniper over his shoulder and pulled out his pistol in case he ran into anyone unfriendly. He stood, taking off in the direction of the car.

            Ray creeped behind the buildings looking for a way to cross the street without the dozens of baddies milling about in the street seeing him. Before he could come up with a plan, the building across the street had exploded, taking Edgar’s crew with it. Ray watched the building crumble, crushing the people under huge chunks of debris.

            He ran across the street towards where Jack had been parked. He saw the large, nondescript, white van and ran to it, cradling his arm with the pistol. Ray banged on the back doors of the van. They opened almost immediately to the crew’s dirty faces.

            “Ray! Thank God!” Gavin yelled, muffled by his injured ears. He grabbed his bad arm, pulling him into the van. Ray yelped, Gavin’s fingers digging into the cut, but he didn’t seem to notice because he was pulling Ray into a tight hug.

            “I thought you were dead.” Gavin yelled in Ray’s ear, the sound warping weirdly.

            “I really appreciate your concern, but I’m sort of bleeding out here.” Ray said, not sure if he was being too loud or not. Gavin let him go, embarrassment crawling into his face as he saw the rest of the crew staring at them.

            “Shit, Ray.” Geoff gasped, handing him a rag to put pressure on his arm. Ray sat on the floor exhausted and nauseous, Gavin asking him if he was okay the whole way back to the penthouse.

Chapter Text

He sat at the kitchen counter as Jack stitched his arm. The smell of antiseptic heavy in the air. Ray had taken a big handful of aspirin before Jack had started. It was doing nothing for his pain and everything for his brain.

            “You really gave us a scare back there.” Jack admitted, wiping the blood off the counter and throwing his gloves in the trash. He wrapped gauze around Ray’s arm methodically, like he had done it a million times before.

            “Yeah...sorry…” Ray shrugged. He didn’t know really what to say. It was obvious that the crew cared for each other immensely. Even after only a few days he had somehow become part of that. He wasn’t sure how it had happened so quickly.

            “Don’t be sorry. You helped keep Edgar’s guys off their backs. It was just scary.” Jack sighed.

            “Yeah, that’s what happens when you care about people who can literally die any second.” Ray said sarcastically. Jack didn’t seem happy with his response, but he let it go, opting to lightly tousle Ray’s hair. He left the room without another word.

            Ray was still too worked up from nearly blowing up to sleep even though it was close to one. The excessive aspirin had him dazed as he walked up to the roof. Finding Ryan up there was not surprising. Finding him in a full blown panic attack was.  He had his back to the short wall, knees at his chest, hyperventilating and shaking. Ray rushed over, kneeling in front of Ryan, haze clearing a bit in his earnest.

            “Breath with me. In and out.” Ray took a deep  breath in, holding it for a moment, then letting it go. He repeated this a few times before Ryan could breathe along with him. After five minutes, Ryan stopped hyperventilating. His hands were still shaking as he rubbed his face, smearing the face paint.

            “Okay?” Ray asked. Ryan nodded, but didn’t speak.

            “Good.” Ray got up.

            “Wait! Don’t go!” Ryan yelled frantically. His eyes were blown. He looked terrified. Ray sat down next to Ryan, feeling a bit awkward.

            “I don’t want to be alone…” He whispered, barely audible to Ray’s still muffled ears.

            “Okay, dude. I’m not leaving.”

            “Thank you.” Ryan sighed.

            “Do you, like, want to talk about it?” Ray asked, not really sure if he was prepared to hear what had sent the Vagabond of all people into a panic.

            “I saw him. That’s all. I saw…,” he shuddered, “That fucking cow and I just broke. Gavin had to drag me away. He knew it was me, mask and all He waved. He wiggled his fingers like he was fucking flirting. Oh god, I feel sick.” Ryan was breathing fast, panic starting all over again.

            “Hey, calm down. Breathe Ryan.” Ray said. The man cringed at his name.

            “Sorry, just not used to you saying it yet.” He said, still breathing too fast.

            “I’m sorry.” Ray wasn’t sure what to say.

            “Don’t be. It’s not your fault. None of the is. I’m sorry. I treated you like garbage. I’m  so sorry. I just don’t know how to be human anymore.” He looked lost, unsure of how to act.

            “It’s hard to act like a person in our line of work. I don’t blame you.” And he really didn’t. He had forgiven Ryan for being so vicious after he and Gavin had spied on him.

           “It’s not that though. God, I had finally become a person again after so long. Now I can’t even go back to that. I’m suck as the Vagabond forever.”

           “No way. The Vagabond wouldn’t be telling me this.” Ray said, reaching out to touch Ryan’s arm. He jumped away immediately, looking as if he’d been burned. Ray had already forgotten. He’d already forgotten Ryan asking not to be touched.

           “Ryan-I’m so sorry-I-,” but he was already leaving the roof as quickly as he could without running. Ray smacked his head against the wall behind him. He didn’t go after Ryan.

          Ray stayed on the roof for a while. Not long after Ryan had rushed out did Ray see his sports car fly down the street at a very illegal speed. After some time, Geoff came up to the roof, drink in hand, resting against the wall next to Ray.

         “Ryan was pretty upset.” Geoff said, not looking at him.

        “I know. I fucked up real bad.” He rubbed his hands over his face.

        “Go on.” Geoff urged, no judgement in his voice.

        “I tried to touch him.”

        “Oh, Ray…” He whispered, shaking his head. He wasn’t angry, just disappointed.

        “He was having a panic attack. I was just trying to comfort him. God, I screwed this up.” He sighed, stomach turning.

        “Well you definitely fucked up, but you didn’t fuck it up permanently. He’s a tough guy, despite what he thinks about himself these days.” Geoff drank. He was already a little drunk.

        “He was so upset. I helped him and I probably sent him back into a panic attack. I am such a screw up sometimes.” His stomach flipped as the anxiety coursed through him. Geoff kept drinking. He shook his head when he was done.

        “First, you’re not a screw up, so shut the fuck up about that. Second, he’ll be okay. You didn’t make him this way.”

        “I know, Edgar did.” Ray said. Geoff spluttered a little, looking over at Ray.

        “He told you what happened?” He asked, obviously surprised.

        “No, not really. I just know it was bad. Bad enough that just seeing him made Ryan lose it.”

        “He saw him?” Geoff exclaimed.

        “Yeah, said he was basically flirting with him. That’s why Gavin had to pull him out of the building.” Geoff looked a little sick.

        “He waved...God, that guy is a nightmare. I can’t wait to torture the shit out of him.” He growled angrily. He finished his drink, downing have the glass in one go.

        “What happened to him? How can one asshole make someone like Ryan the way he is now?” Ray asked, painfully curious. Geoff gave a long sigh.

        “I can’t tell you. He’ll tell you if he feels comfortable. It’ll be a while though. He didn’t have to tell us.” Geoff went to drink more, but his glass was empty. He sighed again.

        “I’m going to get wasted and go to bed. Don’t stay up too late.” Geoff shuffled across the roof. The door creaked loudly as he exited.

         A slamming door woke Ray at four AM. He was starting to get really sick of his sleep getting interrupted. There was bang and the sound glass shattering. With a frustrated sound, Ray shoved his glasses on and pulled on a pair of jeans. He grabbed his gun off the end table and left his room to investigate.  Ray snuck down the hall in the dark, really hoping some idiot wasn’t trying to rob the place. He turned on the kitchen light to find Ryan leaning heavily against the counter. His face paint was gone revealing a black eye, a busted up lip, and a cut on his cheek oozing blood.

         “What the fuck happened to you?” Ray asked, taking it all in.

         “Got in a fight.” He grunted, holding his side, “Think I broke a rib.”

         “I can take a look if you want.” Ray said. He’d  had broken ribs a few years back. He kind of knew what to look for even if he didn’t know much first aid. Ryan nodded. Ray put his gun on the counter and walked toward Ryan.

         “Sit.” Ray directed. He sat at the counter, lifting his shirt slowly, hissing in pain as he did. A large bruise was already forming down his side. Huge scars covered his abdomen.

        “Can I touch it? It’ll be quick, I promise.” Ryan nodded, again. Ray pressed lightly on his ribs. Ryan’s breathing picked up; he closed his eyes trying to stay calm.

         “Not broken.” Ray said, moving away quickly. Ryan dropped his shirt, taking a deep breath.

        “Thank you.” He whispered.

        “Can I ask you something?” Ray asked. Ryan nodded again, “So it freaks you out to be touched, yet you went out and I assume picked a fight with some dude where he put his hands all over you, and that’s cool?”

        “It’s different.” Ryan said, glancing at the floor, trying really hard not to look at Ray.

        “Why? Because one is hurting you and that’s what you want. Getting the shit kicked out of you is what you want.” It wasn’t really a question, he already knew the answer.

        “Ray…” Ryan pleaded.

        “Am I wrong?” He questioned.

        “Can you let it go?”

        “Yeah,” but Ray wasn’t ready to let it go. He had made progress with Ryan and he didn’t want it to stop. Pressuring him into a conversation was not the way to get back on Ryan’s good side. They were both silent for a long time. Ray felt like he had to apologize for earlier, but he wasn’t sure how to word what he wanted to say without bringing up the conversation again and making Ryan upset. He had never been good with words.

        “I’m really sorry about earlier and I’m sorry about being intrusive. I don’t know when to shut up if you haven’t learned yet.” Ray laughed awkwardly.

        “Don’t apologize. How could you have known.” Ryan said. Ray tried his best not to look super guilty.

        “You should really put some ice on your eye. It’ll swell shut.” Ryan rolled his eyes, but went to the freezer for ice. Ray yawned loudly.

        “Go to bed. I’ll be okay.”

        “You sure?”

        “Yeah.” Ray wasn’t convinced, but he figured he should give Ryan his space.

        “Alright. Good night.” Ray said, yawning again.

        “Good night, Ray.”