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Varian wound his way through the newly retrofitted SR2, carefully sidestepping the exposed wires on the ground. Traynor had looked at him bewildered when he’d asked where Vakarian was, she asked him if he was actually looking for Shepard. No. He knew exactly where Shepard was, he needed her idiot. And he needed to get to him before Tali.
The scan beeped and he threw his best smirk at the two yeoman, winked at them, and walked slightly too fast into the War Room. Wrex was sitting on the conference table, cleaning his teeth with what Varian hoped was a toothpick. The krogan perked up as he power walked past, “What’s put a fire under your ass, Azer?”
“No time to chat, Wrex.” Varian walked backwards past the room, holding up a datapad he’d swiped from Traynor, “I’ve got… uh…important information for the Primarch!”
He thought he heard Wrex mutter ‘no one ever has time for me these days’ as Varian slipped past a pair of Alliance personnel exiting the War Room. To their credit, they only slightly startled as the tall turian rounded the corner and had to quickly side step them. Shepard’s crew was getting less jumpy about aliens as the war went on, and he was on friendly terms with most of them. Shepard groused at him for being on slightly too friendly terms with a few of them. And why exactly should she be the only one on board this stupid ship getting laid?
Varian made a beeline down the short steps for the two turians leaning against the central terminal. Garrus looked at him from over Victus’ shoulder, flicking a browplate up in question. Varian never purposefully sought him or the Primarch out, in fact Varian had a habit of disappearing whenever Victus was in the vicinity. Varian sidled up beside Victus, and stared a hole into Vakarian. He was doing his best to keep his harmonics tamped down. If Vakarian was still here with Victus that meant he had beaten Tali, and that gave him so much joy.
“...the fighting on Menae has thinned out a little bit the last few days. The Generals think that the Reapers are rallying,” Victus finished his sentence and acknowledged Varian with a mandible flick, “Colonel Azer, have you made a decision about whether you will be staying on the Normandy or coming with me to the front?”
“I wasn’t aware I had a choice.” Varian had no issues with the new Primarch, in fact, he’d nearly collapsed in relief when the new Primarch had been named and his family had no connection to the male. He just bristled at the idea of once again being under the thumb of the Turian Hierarchy after he’d abandoned ship over a decade ago. But with the war efforts, everyone's orders had been reinstated, and, somehow, (he suspected Shepard’s interference) he’d been given a shitty promotion. He repressed the urge to swipe Vakarian across the face as he snorted at the Primarch’s use of his rank. He’d wipe the stupid look off his face soon enough.
“There’s a war going on, Azer, I want you wherever your talents will be best used,” Victus turned slightly and assessed him up and down.
“Oh, forgive me, Primarch,” He crossed his arms and leaned back against the upper floor railing, “I meant that I wasn’t aware I had a choice considering the angry red head already told me if I leave this ship she’s removing my knees.”
Victus’ browplates shot up, “I will take that as you’re staying here.”
“I do rather like my knees.”
“Are you entirely sure that’s what she threatened to remove?” Garrus chuckled. His omni-tool kept buzzing, but it was probably bad form to pick up a personal call while he was in the middle of a meeting with the Primarch. If something was actually wrong, EDI would tell them anyway. Tali would live for five seconds. Besides, what in the hell was Varian up to? He was practically vibrating. And he willingly placed himself in Victus’ line of sight.
“Personally, I was trying to not be crass in front of our illustrious Primarch,” Varian waved a hand at Victus and pressed the free one against his chest.
“Oh fuck off,” Victus rolled his eyes.
“Do you need something?” Garrus eyed the datapad.
Varian leaned forward and flared his mandibles wide at Vakarian, “Oh yes! Speaking of angry red heads, do you know what your girlfriend did today?”
Garrus eyed Varian wearily, “Had a meeting with the council today?”
“That’s how her day started.” Varian internally crowed as he watched Garrus mute a second incoming call from Tali.
The sigh that worked its way out of Garrus chest took five years off his life, “Did she throw a plant at Sparatus, again?”
Victus mouthed ‘again?’ with a tight-faced expression. Varian nearly bounced on the balls of his feet, “I wish, but no. Guess again.”
“We’re not playing 20 questions, Varian, what did Shepard do?” Garrus was going to need a drink. Didn’t matter what she had done, a drink was going to be required. Maybe if he called Tali back in time she could pick him up something on the Citadel.
“You’re seriously no fun Vakarian.” Varian crossed his arms and pouted. Vakarian had never been fun, but two years as a vigilante, a near death experience, and a Reaper War had really killed what little sense of whimsy the turian had possessed. Or maybe it was watching the love of his life choke to death in the blackness of space. Anyway, he was no fun, “Where’s that detective spirit? Did it die somewhere with your personality?”
“Varian.” The annoyance was carried across dual-toned and yet all he heard was Shepard in the intonation.
“Shepard has a cat.”
Varian thought he heard Vakarian’s brow plates physically clink together. “I don’t… I don’t think that’s appropriate for you to say.”
“It’s red.”
“You.” He bit his tongue. Garrus had recently had a frightening -enlightning- conversation with Vega about human euphemisms. Maybe he should kill Varian? He could make it look like an accident. Victus might help him. Wrex would definitely help him, Varian still owed him from their last trip to the casino. It would devastate Tali and Shepard, and half the Normandy crew, but… yeah he could make it look like an accident.
“What’s got you all riled up, Vakarian? It’s cute! I would have thought you had already seen it, all things considered.” Varian shrugged and couldn’t help feeling proud of himself. It oozed off of him. The pure confusion on Victus’ face was just an added little cherry on top.
Garrus pinched the bridge of his nose and opened his mouth to speak, but Victus cut him off, “What’s a ‘cat’?”
Varian snickered at the choked rattle that came from Vakarian. Don’t. The unspoken message was clear. Perfectly see through. “It’s a small, fuzzy earth creature that purrs and has retractable claws.”
“She has an actual fucking cat.” His blood pressure dropped and immediately shot back up in close succession. Garrus looked at Varian with slack mandibles. Shepard sure knew how to pick her friends.
“What in the galaxy did you think I meant?” Varian blinked at Vakarian in pure innocence.
Garrus hissed out through his teeth, “Where, Varian? Where is she?”
“She’s probably in the CIC by now. She said-” Vakarian was shoving past Varian before he could continue his thought. Varian winced at Victus, “Sorry, I hope your meeting was over.”
“No you aren’t.”
“No I’m not.” Varian beamed at the Primarch, his subvocals rolling happily. Tali had wanted to ease Vakarian into the news that Shepard had found some sad little scrap of fur on the Citadel, but Varian preferred ripping off the bandaid.
He flicked a salute and turned to leave. Victus followed him on his heels, “Well, I want to see a cat.”
———————
The sound of squealing hit his ears before the doors to the CIC opened. He once again winked at the two yeoman managing the scanner. There was a veritable mob on the other side of the door, and at the center was Commander Shepard grinning wider than Varian had seen her do in nearly three years. On the edge of the crowd, arms crossed, buzzing like an adder, was Vakarian. Tali was beside him, a hand on his arm.
Varian walked up behind the pair and threw an arm over both of their shoulders, “So, how’s it going?”
Tali’s shoulders rose and fell in a single sigh before she turned her mask up towards his face. He could just make out the way the lights in her eyes turned to slits, “I should have known you were up to no good when you bounced on shopping.”
“I thought Vakarian deserved to know he’s a father.” Varian flashed a grin at Vakarian who growled in his face.
Garrus worked his jaw and tried to calm the annoyance rolling off of him like thunder. Shepard looked so spiritsdamn happy, how was he supposed to tell her no? Tali patted his arm. He shrugged off Varian’s arm on his shoulder, “Where is the cat going to stay? It can’t stay on the Citadel, who will feed it? Is a ship really a good idea? Is it just going to live in our room? That’s not enough space for a living creature. What if it eats the hamster? Or spirits forbid, what if it tries to eat the fish? Where-”
Tali leaned backwards against Varian’s chest and whispered, “I think Garrus is spiraling.”
“I know, isn’t it beautiful?” He huffed as Tali elbowed him in the abdomen. Worth it.
Traynor, with a sad whimper, finally relinquished the fuzzy thing she was clinging to and returned it back to Shepard’s arms. Shepard approached their group, her smile turned slightly pained as she met Garrus’ eyes. She ducked her head slightly and looked up at him through her lashes. “He’s just a baby. His family evacuated and left him behind. He was starving.”
Then Shepard held up a creature that was three times the size of Shepard’s hamster, Clyde. The fuzzy little thing had wide green, nearly blue, eyes, and two pointed ears that swiveled with all of the sounds around it. Its front paws held onto Shepard’s hands and its back legs and long tail hung down below them. It yawned, showing off a row of needle sharp teeth, and gently made a mewling cry. Its little paws reached forward as Shepard held the creature up to Garrus’ face, “See, he already likes you.”
Garrus sighed and tried to ignore the way its fuzzy paws tickled him. Or the gentle, happy purrs emanating from it, “What are we going to do with a cat, Shepard?”
“He’s going to be a Ship Cat!” Shepard pulled the kitten to her chest and nuzzled against his face, “It’s an age old Naval tradition! He’ll be our fearsome defender.”
“What’s he defending against? Dustbunnies? Clyde?” Varian reached forward and gently scritched the furball on its striped head with a single talon. The kitten glared at him and tried to bite him. Rude. Garrus coughed back his laugh.
Victus cleared his throat and stepped up to the group with his head tilted curiously, “I thought it would be bigger.”
“He’ll get a lot bigger, he’s only about six weeks old,” Shepard held the kitten out to Victus who poked its face. Varian growled at the little scrap when it started purring for Victus. Shepard shot him a glare, but then turned her attention back to Victus. She ran a finger across the kitten's striped head, “Look, he's a little like a turian, he even has clan markings.”
Victus rumbled with amusement as the kitten reached out to bat at his finger. It once again yawned and showed off its fearsome teeth. It also flashed its pointy claws. He gave it another scratch on the head, “It’s a consummate predator, Commander.” Victus clapped Garrus on the back and as he turned to head back to the War Room, he said, “Congratulations on your child, Vakarian.”
Garrus sighed and took the cat into his hands. It scrabbled at him until he pulled it against his chest. Before he could get a better hand on it, it shot up his chest and immediately curled up between his neck and cowl. He rumbled back at the kitten as he started purring and kneading his claws into the fabric of his shirt.
Shepard was staring at him with wide, pleading eyes, her lips bit together between her teeth.
He reached up and scratched him on the head, “Well, what are you going to call him?”
Shepard practically squealed and Garrus stumbled back when Shepard hit him dead on with a strong hug. His hand immediately went up to ensure the little kitten didn’t get dislodged.
She named him Nebula. EDI bought him an engraved tag for his collar.
Did he grow up to be close to 20lbs? Sure did. Did he also spend most of his time curled up in Garrus’ cowl while they worked on the Thannix Cannons? Maybe.
Fanart from Garfbin:
Fanart I drew for myself:
