Work Text:
Ri’kara started a little, cursing as she accidentally pressed the soldering iron into the back of her hand when her hands jerked.
The knock at the door sounded again. She glanced at the sky outside as she got up to grab some burn ointment. Sunset. Who could it be…?
“Just a moment!” She called, hopping up on her bathroom stool and rifling through her cabinet while she ran the burn under the freezing water in the sink.
Dabbing the wound dry, she applied the foul smelling stuff and began wrapping her hand in gauze, pattering over to the door as she did so and opening it just a crack so she could see who was there.
Alarak tilted his head to look at her through the gap. He looked, as he always did after a trip to Slayn, haggard. The shadows under his eyes were obvious, but despite that, he gave her a soft smile. All of her hearts jumped at once.
“You’re back!” She couldn’t help the big, delighted smile that crept over her eyes as she fully opened the door and stepped back. “Why didn’t the Hierarch call? I could have met you at the bay—”
“I arrived early this morning.”
“Oh.”
The door closed, and she reached for some scissors and a pin, her good mood suddenly toppling with her smile.
Almost absently, Alarak moved close and pinned the bandage for her, catching her eye with a questioning look.
“I was soldering. You startled me, that’s all.”
“I apologise.”
“It’s ok; you know I jump easily. Sit, please. Why didn’t you tell me?”
He did as he was told, kneeling in front of the low table after carefully picking his way through the scraps and parchment she had left strewn about. Embarrassment washed over her, pushing her to start gathering everything up and out of the way.
“The new first Ascendant insisted on travelling to Aiur as well once he had been settled into his position on Slayn.”
Another one? “So you’ve been briefing him then?”
“Him and that lapdog of his.” Disgust coloured his voice. “One would think they would die should they be separated. Either way, we thought it best to set up a meeting once they had settled themselves.”
He wants me to meet him?
“… I suppose.” She reached up to place the newly wound scrolls away on the bookshelf. “Sorry about the mess, by the way.”
“As though I mind.” Even without looking at him, she could tell he was rolling his eyes.
Turning back to pick up another scroll, she froze for just a moment as she caught him watching her with that same soft expression as around the campfire, as in the forest… He didn’t even seem to notice that she had caught him. Maybe he didn’t care.
“I preferred the idea of greeting you without the need for performance this time.”
Hope and dread swirled in her chest as she reached up to put the next scroll in place. He missed me? Or maybe he wanted to talk, to put that boundary back. I did make that whole thing worse…
Finally, Ri’kara knelt at the table opposite him, taking in his tired form bathed in the red and gold of the sun even through the sheer curtains. Her hearts squeezed.
“Um… We could play?” She gestured to the chess board on the shelf under the glass surface. The idea of him wanting to talk about… She had to at least try and postpone—
“In a moment.”
Alarak took her free hand, causing her face and crest to immediately set alight as she froze, her train of thought crashing against a wall.
“Alarak, what—?”
“This is important; I expect you to listen.” Even though his expression had stayed soft, his eyes burned brighter than usual; he was clearly serious.
All she could do was nod; it was going to happen if she liked it or not.
“I will not have you blaming yourself for how our… excursion ended. I noticed how distressed you were.”
Her eyes suddenly welled as all the shame and longing washed over her fresh. It didn’t help that when he touched her, even just like that, the memory of it lingered. “I really don’t want to talk about it. It didn’t happen.”
“It did.” He frowned. “This is not something that we can simply ignore.”
It was obvious that the Hierarch had given him a similar pep talk as he had to her. She had suspected he’d been told the full extent of her embarrassing behaviour, how far across the line they had gone. Alarak actually listening to that advice, though? Actually deciding against caution and trying… Whatever this was?
She blinked the tears away as best she could, though her voice could barely raise above a whisper.
“We have to. And I’m not saying that because of rank or whatever you got into your head; the Hierarch told me about that theory of yours. I’ve talked back to you enough for you to know that isn’t a concern. You weren’t why I was upset.”
He nodded, but for some reason stayed silent, his thumb idly rubbing over her palm. She couldn’t bring herself to pull away.
“We have to pretend, Alarak; I can’t see a safer option. I think you know I’m right.”
There was so much more she wanted to say than that. She wished, somehow, that there were a world where they could have spoken about it, where she could find out the reason he did it in the first place, where she could tell him just how much she had wanted to do that for a long time, no matter how shameful it was that she had ever wanted to in the first place.
But there wasn’t.
Finally, he let go of her. Did she imagine tears in his own eyes? He blinked and nodded.
“Of course. It did not happen.”
The silence that followed was brief but heavy. Alarak reached under the table, bringing out the board and pressing each square to activate its holographic piece. Ri’kara blinked.
“You still want to…?”
“I would not leave with you looking so miserable.” He gestured to her side of the board. “Set up; you have the first move.”
Ri’kara stared out at the summer day from her seat by the window, her chin resting against her hand as she rolled the earlier meeting around in her mind.
Var’gash had been so… Pleasant. He spoke to her in a calming voice, almost floated across the room to bow as deeply to her as he had to the Highlord. He listened carefully as she detailed what she had been told would be her duties with him, his cat-like eyes never leaving her.
When they were finished, he and Alarak had stepped out into the hallway. There was a willowy Tal’darim who had stared at her with unblinking bionic eyes just as the door had closed behind them. The ‘lapdog’ Alarak had mentioned, maybe? It wasn’t him that had unsettled her so.
The smile that the first Ascendant had given to her put a sense of dread, icy cold and constricting, in her chest. He had been so familiar in a way that made her skin crawl. It had been decades since Urach had flashed across her mind so blatantly, his memory finally no more than a whisper, but in that moment…
She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she barely heard the door open again. From the footsteps and the sound of his armour shifting, she knew it was just Alarak. She didn’t bother raising her head, still caught by the increasing similarities—
“Ri’kara.” Alarak spoke softly, one of those rare times, pulling her out of her reverie. He must have seen the look on her face.
Finally, she looked up at him. “Ah, I… I’m sorry, did you ask me something?”
He tilted his head, frowning slightly. “Yes. What do you think of him?”
Carefully, she composed herself; she hadn’t even realised her hands had been shaking. “Well, I realised I don’t think I’ve met a first Ascendant face to face aside from Ji’nara. That’s certainly unusual.”
“Hm. He insisted on being closely acquainted with the inner workings of the Aiur portion of things. Irritating, but I do not see the harm.”
“And…” She stood up so she didn’t have to crane her neck as much to speak with him; his armour added at least another inch. “You’ve gone through a lot of first Ascendants recently. Even if he wants to help more closely than the others, will he last?”
“Yes. I am sure of that; he has been chasing that position since before the reduction of the Chain.” Then, he looked at her again, his expression once again softening. “There is something more; you look shaken.”
“It’s nothing—”
He must not have been thinking; the sharp points of his gauntlet brushed against her neck and up to her jaw as he took hold of her cord, the one with his clasp on it. She felt her crest and cheeks begin to burn, already yearning for the closeness they had in the forest. His eyes were soft, as was his tone despite the accusation.
“Ri’kara. You would break your promise?”
For a moment, she couldn’t speak, her ribcage constricting. Just like every other time, his absence had only made everything so much worse somehow. She hadn’t thought that ball of longing could get any worse.
She broke his gaze, staggering herself back to the matter at hand.
“I know… I know it’s not usually something that we have an idea of, but do you know his parents?”
His brow raised. “I have heard rumour his mother was a prelate. Ji’nara took care of her after their little tantrum. I assume his father was a priest of some kind; not that it would be easy to verify. As though we stay with those we are forced to choose.”
Then, he stopped. The rapid shift in his expression told her that he had pieced together what she had been thinking, but he said nothing, waiting for her to elaborate.
“It’s his smile and his crest shape. Even the spikes on his jaw. Urach was a priest, but I suppose he preferred pushing phase-smiths around. Or he was shoved there. Either way… The resemblance is striking. No horns, though; I wonder if he looks more like his mother.”
“He does, but it isn’t as though we could prove such a thing.”
“I know that, but I can’t shake it.”
They were silent for just long enough that Ri’kara began to spiral again. That smile was the one that Urach used when he most wanted to be trusted, when he wanted whoever he had directed its full force onto to comply. What if he loved his mother? What if he was like Ilira and was forever looking for those that had killed her? Dread coiled in her abdomen like a pit of snakes.
Without thinking, she reached up and took his hand in hers, firmly grabbing his attention and keeping eye contact, as uncomfortable as it made her.
“Alarak.”
He froze in place; eyes filled with something unreadable for just a moment before his frown deepened. Once again, he said nothing.
“Be careful around him. Please.”
Disbelief replaced the concern as he relaxed, letting out an incredulous little laugh and leaning closer to give her a soft smirk. “I always am ‘careful’, Ri’kara. You doubt me?”
She couldn’t help but break his gaze then, crest once again flushing purple. “No, I don’t, but this time is different. I can feel it in my bones; if he challenges you, you won’t come back. I need you to keep a closer eye on him than you have for any of the others.” Tears began to prick at her eyes; this had always been a far off thing, a storm cloud on the horizon, and suddenly… She squeezed his hand even if he couldn’t feel it through his armour. “I will beg if I have to. I need you to promise.”
Alarak stayed quiet for a moment. From the corner of her eye, Ri’kara watched him size her up for what seemed like an age. His free hand flexed itself in its gauntlet, and then he gave in. “Because it is you; I promise.”
Despite his tone, the little Protoss relaxed slightly; she knew he was taking it seriously, even if outwardly he hadn’t particularly changed. “Thank you, that… Makes me feel better.”
“Tch. Only marginally, I suppose.” Gently, he extracted himself from her grip and straightened. “I know you.”
“… It’s better than nothing.”
“The moment he decides to cause trouble, you will be informed. That should go without saying.”
“Thank you.”
“Now.” He rolled his shoulders, metal panels shifting and clicking together with the movement. “Ensure both of them have left for Slayn, then meet me in my quarters. I would prefer we be unbothered for that next match.”
The idea made her smile a little. “Maybe this time I’ll actually beat you.”
“I am sure you may try.” He smirked back before making his way out into the corridor.
(comic)