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He felt, lost. As though the weight of his team had finally caused him to crumble. Glory isn’t a single player game and yet Zhang Jiale grasped at strings to hold his team together alone. He was tired.
Another second place. They lost their match to Tiny Herb.
Looking back at his young naive self of years ago, he laughed a hollow sigh.
Dream of winning championships. Dream of leading his team to victory. Dream of .. what was it again? He didn’t remember.
His fans, screaming at their failure. Or maybe it was more accurately, fans of Hundred Blossoms screaming at his failure. Zhang Jiale looked around. From the stage, they left, giving the winning team a handshake for sportsmanship yet his eyes felt watery. A heavy weight sat on his chest. Was he, not enough?
He bit his lip. Each time, they fell short of final victory. Each time he walked away with second place. Each time he..
He packed his bags and left, without a word. He knew his team would resent him for doing so. But he couldn’t bear the weight any longer.
He gave one last look at his room, leaving behind his partner of many years, his beloved spitfire account, Dazzling Hundred Blossoms.
~~~
It's been about half a year since he left. He gardened, learned to cook, took up some arts and crafts to quell his fidgeting hands. But it was never the same. He often found himself tapping on the table as though he were tapping on his keyboard. Dreams of playing matches plagued him.
He tried to live for himself, away from Glory. He hadn’t touched a computer since he left. He sometimes got messages from Huang Shaotian, asking if he was doing alright.
A lingering bitter taste. He knew he meant well.
He went downstairs to buy breakfast, there was a local place nearby selling jianbing guozi. He had gotten familiar with the aunty running the place when he first showed up after he quit Glory. He was an utter mess, but she didn’t question him, only served him an extra portion of food. She could tell he needed some space.
Zhang Jiale visited her frequently ever since, and she would talk about her son and other matters. And Zhang Jiale quietly listened.
He finished his meal and settled his bill. As he stood up from his seat he felt a tap on his shoulder, he looked back to see no one in sight.
Perhaps he imagined it.
Zhang Jiale scrolled through his phone, typing out a to-do list for the day so that he didn’t forget anything. So that he stayed grounded.
Wake up
Get dressed
Eat breakfast -> Visit aunty
Groceries -> Restock on veggies, meat, tofu, oil, vinegar
Pay gas bill -> Drop off envelope at front desk
Eat lunch
Water plants
Knit -> finish pattern
Wash up
Eat Dinner
Go to sleep
He crossed out an item. He stared off at the internet cafe nearby, his fingers twitching. Itching for the tap of a keyboard, for the thrill of Glory once more, but he clenched his fist, fingernails digging into his palms, leaving crescent shaped divots. He looked away in the opposite direction, heading towards the bus stop.
The bus had just left a minute ago, he waited for the next one to arrive. A drizzle of rain started blotting the pavement, it was good that the bus stop was covered.
A young man stood next to him holding a red umbrella. At first glance, he reminded him of Su Mucheng, Zhang Jiale thought to himself. Orange hair, orange eyes, this energy of calm warmth emanating from him. Zhang Jiale shook his head, before zoning out, watching the pattering of raindrops on to ground, now forming puddles. Absentmindedly, his fingers began tapping at his side, his muscle memory having not left him after retirement.
“You remind me of a friend of mine.” The man with the umbrella said. “Do you happen to play Glory?”
“Used to. But not anymore.”
The man looked puzzled but nodded. “I can see you’re still attached. I was too.”
Zhang Jiale turned to look at the man. He had this look of sorrow in his expression, one that made Zhang Jiale feel as though he understood. “You used to play Glory also?”
“Ha. Glory was my entire life. I would spend hours upon hours of my life just designing weapons, studying the limits of the weapon creator. Much to my younger sister’s nagging that I should take better care of my body.” The man chuckled. “We were building a team.”
Zhang Jiale knew that dream, the dream of championships. Of building a team with a partner, and aiming for gold. “And then?” Zhang Jiale inquired.
“Well. I suppose our team did make it. But I couldn’t stand next to them, unfortunately.”
“Oh.”
“Enough about me. Tell me your story. Why did you leave Glory?” He asked.
Zhang Jiale dribbled a pebble near his feet back and forth before kicking it. “I too had a dream, of making it to championships, with a team my partner.. former partner, and I had cultivated. But some circumstances caused him to leave, and I couldn’t shoulder that weight alone. So I left. They must resent me by now..”
The man patted him on the shoulder.
“Ah.. life hasn’t dealt either of us a winning hand huh?”
“I suppose so.”
“But even so, I think that you should give Glory another chance.”
“I..”
“I have a feeling you’ll find your Glory. I know you’re hesitant. I can see you still have a love for Glory, even outside of the professional competitions.”
“You’re right. I thought that time away from Glory would help me move on but I keep itching to return.”
“You could help out your guild. Start small, a fresh account. Side quests. I think it would be a shame to let your passion for Glory burn out just like that. Anyways, I have a feeling that you’ll get an opportunity to return soon.” He winked.
Zhang Jiale nodded. He saw his bus pulling up.
“Thanks. Oh, I realize I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Zhang Jiale, nice to meet you.” He held out his hand as a greeting.
“Su Muqiu.”
“Su Muqiu?” Zhang Jiale asked confusingly. “Su. Muqiu.. MuQiuSu. You wouldn’t happen to be the owner of Autumn Tree?”
The man smiled and nodded. “That’s me!”
“You were the sharpshooter that always paired up with Ye Qiu’s One Autumn Leaf in the pioneer years.”
“I assume he’s doing well?”
“He’s ever elusive as ever.”
“Haha. Sounds like him. I’m glad.”
“Oh. I really need to leave now but it was nice meeting you. I hope we can talk more some other time.” Zhang Jiale waved at him.
Su Muqiu waved back. He watched the cherry haired man board the bus and take a seat.
Su Muqiu looked up at the sky, the sun started to peek out, his body growing more and more transparent. Time for him to leave once again. His eyes lingered at the bus disappearing down the block.
~~~
It was the first time in a while that Zhang Jiale had opened his computer since his retirement. Fingertips gliding across the keys, he clicked open Glory. He inserted one of his alt accounts, Dazzling Spring.
It felt smooth. It felt easy. Getting back into the rhythm of playing Glory once again, his tapping of his skills, his mouse clicks, keeping track of players on the map.
It felt. Good. He missed this feeling.
He sent a message to Huang Shaotian, letting him know he was doing better. To which he got a barrage of text back.
He laughed.
Su Muqiu was right, he couldn’t just leave Glory behind.
He helps out his former team indirectly. He joins boss raids to help Blossom Valley secure some wild bosses. This was fun!
He then bumped into this most infuriating Knight account, Unrivaled Super Hottie.
It was Ye Qiu.
He asked him to join his grassroots team.
Zhang Jiale declined. Although Ye Qiu had been a factor in shutting down his chances at championships, now that he had left Excellent Era. With no backing, a couple of rookies on hand, Zhang Jiale knew first hand how it felt to lead a team like that. Ye Qiu bearing the weight of a grassroots team to overtake the league? No chance.
Zhang Jiale jumped away, continuing to help his guild.
A message appeared in his inbox. One from Han Wenqing. He opened it.
He was offered a spot on Tyrannical Ambition's main roster. He awaited Ye Qiu’s return. He was preparing a strong lineup at Tyranny, ready to secure the gold.
Zhang Jiale accepted.