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“… And do you, Barbara, take Jason to be your lawfully wedded husband…”
Barbara stared up at the man standing across from her, heart racing in her chest. No one was listening to her. Even Jason, beaming down at her after saying his vows, hardly seemed to actually be paying her attention.
“I …” she stammered, breathing heavily. Her feet were cold and sore after running across the grounds of Wayne Manor.
Because she couldn’t find her shoes.
Her shoes were gone and it was her wedding day and no one seemed to be at all concerned with her problem. They just shuffled her from room to room until suddenly she was outside.
“Barbara,” Batman growled from his place between them at the altar. He was waiting on her answer. They were all waiting.
“I … no!” she shouted, hearing gasps from the crowd. “My shoes! I can’t find my shoes! Where are my shoes?”
“Babe, its okay, I have shoes,” said Jason.
“No! My shoes! Where are my shoes?”
“Babs.”
“Shoes!”
“Barbie, wake up!”
Her eyes snapped open and Jason’s concerned face swam into view above her.
Barbara blinked a few times, awareness coming back to her as she shook off sleep. She was in her bed, not standing at the altar across from Jason Todd. Shoes were not an immediate need at the moment.
Although her boyfriend did still look concerned as he stood over her, dressed in only a pair of pajama pants and holding a coffee mug.
He took a sip. “So, uh, what were you dreaming about there, Red?” he asked, sitting at the foot of the bed. “You kept saying something about shoes.”
She pulled herself up to sit against the headboard, tucking the sheet around herself against the slight chill of the morning, still trying to clear her head.
“I dreamed … we were getting married … but I couldn’t find my shoes anywhere,” said Barbara, frowning. “And no one would help me look for them. And then suddenly I was at the ceremony and didn’t have my shoes at all.”
“Married, huh? What was the wedding like?” Jason asked, smirking a little.
Barbara thought back, trying to remember as many details as she could.
“I think we were at Wayne Manor, everyone was there,” she said. “Oh and you had beautiful vows. I can’t remember a word of them, but I remember thinking they were beautiful. You know, in between wondering where my shoes went.”
“Don’t you have a perfect memory though?”
She shook her head. “Not with dreams. They aren’t things that actually happened so it doesn’t file right in my head.”
“Ah, damn, well let me know if you remember them so I can write them down for later,” he said, offering her the coffee mug. “Why wouldn’t anyone let you find your shoes?”
“I don’t know,” she mused, sipping the coffee. “Its like they just wouldn’t listen.”
“Clearly this means you’re feeling like your friends and family aren’t listening to your needs and you can’t find a way to communicate,” said Jason sagely.
“You do dream interpretation now?” she said, raising an eyebrow.
“Well that one seems pretty obvious,” he said, taking the mug back. “Hey, who married us? Was it Superman? Oh, or maybe Wonder Woman?” he asked, looking genuinely excited.
“Uh, actually, it was Batman,” said Barbara, biting her lip.
“Bruce?”
“No, like Batman, in the suit and everything.”
Jason snorted. “’Do you, Jason, take Barbara…’” he growled, putting a hand with pinky and pointer fingers up behind his head to signal bat ears.
Barbara giggled at his impression.
“’I am vengeance! I am the knight! I now pronounce you husband and wife!’”
She couldn’t help but laugh harder. Jason grinned as she attempted to control herself.
She loved this, loved just having these moments together, waking up together and talking and laughing. If this was what love was supposed to be like, it was no wonder she was dreaming about weddings. Even ones where she was missing her shoes.
Of course, it was just a dream and she and Jason were definitely not there yet. And they both knew that so really there was no harm in just chatting about their wedding in the abstract, right? Yeah.
“So who would you want to marry us? Superman or Wonder Woman?” Barbara asked, still smiling.
“Wonder Woman, definitely,” said Jason, sipping his coffee again. “Superman does them all the time but I know she’s done a few.”
She nodded. “It would be cool to be married by a princess,” she agreed.
“Do you think she’d do it?”
“Oh sure. Besides, by that time she might be your step-mom so there’s no way she’d turn you down,” said Barbara thoughtfully.
Jason choked on his coffee. “Wait, what?” he wheezed, sitting up straight. “Step-mom?”
“You okay?”
“Yeah. What do you mean by step-mom?” he asked, clearing his throat.
“Ohhhh” said Barbara, hers eyes widening. “You didn’t hear? I can’t believe you haven’t heard yet. Dick is such a blabber mouth about gossip, half the League already knows.”
“Knows what, Babs?”
“This is why you should come to meetings when we’re invited. Anyway, Bruce and Diana are together,” she said, smirking.
“Whoa, what, like dating? Wait, wouldn’t that be all over the place? Bruce Wayne dating a Princess superhero?” Jason asked, incredulous.
“Well, I suspect they’re keeping it on the ‘DL’ for now,” she said with a shrug. “But they’re definitely sleeping together. Dick said he stopped by the Manor one morning and found them having breakfast together.”
“Sometimes people have breakfast together…”
“Honey, she was wearing his pajamas. Bruce is so pissed he’s not even speaking to Dick right now so if you want to get in on the boss’s good side, now’s a great opportunity,” she continued. “And so much money has changed hands on the Watchtower that it should probably be shut down. I can’t believe you didn’t know this!”
Jason shook his head and tossed back the last of his coffee. “Damn. Guess I should go to those meetings. I’m missing out on all the hero gossip,” he said, amused.
“You don’t even know the best part,” said Barbara, smirking. “You remember how I said that half the League knows? Guess who doesn’t know yet.”
Jason looked over at her, matching her smirk. “Superman.”
“Super hearing and x-ray vision but he still doesn’t even know his two best friends are doing it. And I suspect everyone is trying to see how long it will take him to figure it out,” she said, yawning and stretching.
There was a pleasant lull as they were both still in the process of actually waking up, and then Jason climbed across the bed to her, leaning over her on all fours. The empty mug was abandoned somewhere
“So it’s decided then,” he said, kissing her lightly. “Wonder Woman will do our wedding. I’ll even make sure you have your shoes, Babe.”
“Hmm, one problem though,” she replied. “We aren’t having a wedding, Jason.”
“Hypothetically, if we were to have one, I mean,” he corrected, leaning in for another kiss.
“Yeah, hypothetically…” she sighed, letting her eyes flutter closed.
He kissed her cheek, her nose, her jawline.
“How about we take a shower and then go out to breakfast?” he murmured in her ear.
“Ohh, um, yeah, that would be good.”
“Can’t forget your shoes though.”
She smacked him in the shoulder as he climbed off the bed, chuckling on his way to the bathroom.