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They're lying on Ivan's bed, facing each other. Their limbs are wrapped around one another in a way that makes it hard to tell where one body ends and the other one begins. The only noise that can be heard is the record playing in the next room and the sound of their lips where they’re connected.
They've been lying like this for a while now, in their own little bubble. Kissing, talking, laughing, smoking.
Ivan's eyes are closed but Lovro knows he’s not sleeping. He lightly traces his thumb from Ivan's bottom lip, over to his jaw, up, up across his cheekbone, before arriving at his brow. Ivan's lips twitch, unable to hold back a smile, his eyes fluttering open. It doesn't matter how many times their gazes have met by now, how familiar those warm, brown eyes have become to Lovro; the eye contact still sends a thrill down Lovro’s spine. It still makes him feel shy, the way it did the first time all those months ago. Only then he wasn’t quite able to admit to himself the reason behind the bashfulness.
Ivan searches his face before tilting his head ever so slightly, asking for a kiss. Lovro obliges. He gives him one, two, three lingering, soft pecks. When he moves to pull away, Ivan makes a little sound of discontent, wordlessly asking for one more. Lovro smiles and indulges him. He threads his fingers through Ivan’s hair at the nape of his neck as he presses their lips together. Lovro feels the warmth from where they’re connected spread throughout the rest of his body. Despite the countless times they’ve done this by now, held each other like this, kissed each other like this, it always feels just as electrifying.
Ivan hums as they pull away. "Pretty."
“What?” Lovro huffs out a laugh.
“You’re pretty,” Ivan smiles. Lovro feels his ears tinge red. He grumbles as he presses his face into Ivan’s neck, secretly pleased with the endearment.
They lay like that for a moment, breathing each other in, Ivan tracing patterns up and down Lovro’s back.
Ivan eventually breaks the silence. “I like being here with you, like this.”
Lovro’s heart flutters. “Me too.” After a pause he adds, “I wouldn’t have been able to picture myself like this a few years ago.”
“Like what?”
“Lying here like this, with a boy. With someone like you. I thought these sorts of things weren't allowed for people like me.”
Ivan hums, letting the quiet confession settle between them. “When did you know that you liked boys?”
Lovro pauses for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “I don't know. I think I've, like, always been conscious of it, but I had a hard time admitting it to myself. I would try to ignore it or pretend it wasn’t real. Try to tell myself it was just a phase I was going through. That the feeling would eventually go away.”
“But you’re sure of the feeling now?” and Lovro understands that he’s also asking but you’re sure of this now, of us? Of me?
He nods and presses a kiss to Ivan’s neck. “I'm sure. When I met you, I became more certain of the feeling. It was impossible to deny at that point. I'd had similar feelings before, but nowhere near as strong or as serious.”
“What kind of feelings?”
Lovro gives a slight shrug. “I don’t know, like crushes and stuff. Boys that I found attractive.”
“Who did you have a crush on?”
Lovro hesitates and Ivan senses it right away. There's a beat of silence before Ivan pulls away from Lovro just enough to look him in the eyes. A glint of amusement alongside genuine curiosity flickers in his eyes.
“It’s not important,” Lovro hedges, trying to avoid Ivan’s gaze. He's not sure if he’s quite ready to open that can of worms yet.
“I want to know.”
“I don’t think you do.”
“Come on,” Ivan whines. “I’m invested now.”
“It was just a silly crush.”
“Well, if it was just a silly crush it shouldn’t be difficult to tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me-”
“Okay, okay,” Lovro laughs, clasping his hand over the other boy’s mouth. He yanks it back just as quickly though when he feels Ivan lick his hand, a satisfied smirk on his face. Lovro heaves a sigh before saying, “Jakov.”
Ivan blinks. "Huh?"
“Jakov,” he says again, in a matter of fact manner.
Ivan rises from his lying position to rest on his elbow, hovering slightly over Lovro who’s still lying on his side. His eyebrows are furrowed. “Jakov? As in, Jakov Jakov.”
"Yes, as in Jakov Jakov,” Lovro rolls his eyes.
“How long ago was this?”
“What? I don't know, like, forever ago.”
“How long ago?” Ivan repeats, not tearing his eyes away from Lovro’s for a second.
Lovro stares at him. He would be lying if he said the look in Ivan’s eye didn’t send a heated tingle down his spine. He swallows before answering, “Like, a couple years ago.”
“A couple?” Ivan exclaims. “As in two? As in, 700 days ago? As in, not that long ago, relatively speaking?”
Lovro can’t help bursting into giggles. “You're being silly now.”
Ivan huffs as he flops back onto the bed, on his back. “Jakov? Jakov was your gay awakening.”
“I wouldn’t say he was my awakening-”
“Your best friend who you meet and hang out with every day was your gay awakening.”
Lovro looks at Ivan from where he’s pressed against the pillow. The smile on his face only grows when he notices the pout on Ivan’s lips. “You’re not jealous, are you?” Ivan merely huffs without answering. “I can’t believe you're sulking about this.”
“I’m not sulking,” Ivan grumbles. A moment of silence passes before Ivan turns to him, a look of horror in his eyes, “Oh my god.”
"What?"
“Is that why you spent Valentine’s Day with him this year?”
“What?” Lovro exclaims, unable to control the burst of laughter that follows.
“Oh my god,” Ivan laments, dragging his hands across his face. “This is horrible. This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Lovro grabs at Ivan’s hands through his laughter, pulling them away from his face. “Stop being dramatic.”
“This is the worst news you could’ve ever given me. My boyfriend will eventually leave me for his best friend.”
“You're being ridiculous,” Lovro says, moving to straddle Ivan’s lap. The way Ivan’s hands automatically move to grasp his hips despite his theatrics makes Lovro’s insides swoop pleasantly. He leans down to kiss Ivan’s pout, just because he can.
“We'll see who's ridiculous when I wake up in the middle of the night to find you’ve run off with your best friend.”
“I promise I'll warn you beforehand.”
“You’re not allowed to hang out with him anymore.”
Lovro playfully rolls his eyes. He knows Ivan is joking, but he’d be lying if he said the played-up jealousy didn’t make him feel secretly pleased.
“You're the only man for me,” he murmurs against Ivan’s lips, giving him another kiss.