Chapter Text
Ilya hasn’t let go of her since they had entered the room. She’s bundled up in a threadbare burgundy sweater, sucking the tip of Ilya’s thumb, since she wouldn’t take a pacifier.
The little boy, sits in the corner of the office, oblivious to it all, rolling toy cars back and forward across the floor, making vroom vroom noises.
God, that little boy had no idea what was going on. Or maybe he did? Him knowing definitely seemed worse.
How the hell were he and Ilya meant to deal with either option? When they had filled out the many many forms, that were required before becoming foster carers, Ilya had ticked all the boxes when it came to what they could handle. Disabled child, yes. Child with complex needs, yes. Child who has come from a traumatic situation, yes.
‘We have love and we have money, we figure rest out.’ is what Ilya had said.
Like either of those things could solve anything. Like he and Ilya aren’t completely ill-equipped to deal with this. Were they being selfish? Taking these kids on, just because they ached to have a family? Were these kids some sort of experiment for them to test out their parenting skills? Maybe Ilya would manage, he was great with kids, and he knew about trauma all too well, but Shane, he was a whole other story-
It is the nudge against his foot he feels first, before he registers that Ilya is saying his name.
‘Shane’ Ilya says again, and Shane takes a moment to come out of his haze, and focus on his husband.
‘Is okay’ Ilya says, nudging his foot again ‘you are capable. You are Shane Hollander.’
‘Sorry’ Shane says, shaking his head ‘I-‘ he looks at Ilya, not being able to find the words. It can happen sometimes, when he’s overwhelmed.
It’s not like the social worker sitting in front of them is unaware of Shane’s autism. It’s in their case file. Everything was, Ilya’s past, his struggle with depression, Shane’s autism, their relationship history. There was no stone left unturned, and they had been approved. Shane tries to remind himself of that, they hadn’t been approved for no reason.
‘It’s ok’ Ashley, the social worker, smiles at him ‘I get it, it can be overwhelming. But your only job right now, is to be a port in the storm for them. We’re currently looking for any family members who would be willing and able to take them in. Usually with foster placements, the goal is reunification, but-‘
But that wasn’t going to be happening here. The mom was dead, and the dad had been arrested for killing her. Reunification with the parents was not an option.
Ashley lays her hands down flat on the file in front of her, and looks between them.
‘I can’t even begin to describe the situations I have seen, whatever you can think of, it’s worse than that. You guys are willing, and you have a big home, and big salaries, and a lot of love to give. You’re open to taking siblings, and a lot of people, as much as they want to, are not in a position to do that. I’m not going to say it be easy, it won’t be. But I believe that Lena and Benji, will be safe and loved and looked after, with you both. That’s all we can ever ask.’
Lena and Benji. Shane repeats those names to themselves in his head. It made this situation feel more solid, less liable to slip out from under him.
Lena, with her light brown skin and mop of black hair, her eyes closed as she sucked at Ilya’s thumb, dressed in a yellow, flower-patterned one-piece. The sweater around her was her mom’s. She only soothed once she was wrapped in it, in the warmth of Ilya’s arms, her mom’s smell still fresh. She’s four months old, so brand new.
Benji is four, he has brown skin a shade darker than his sister’s, and an abundance of beautiful black curls. His eyes are green, and his ears stick out slightly. He is wearing a ‘Bluey’ sweater, and jeans, with flashing sneakers on his feet, his green socks, bunched at his ankles.
Shane knew about ‘Bluey’ from babysitting Hayden’s kids. He had found himself engrossed long after the kids had found something else to amuse them. Well, at least they had that, if everything went horribly wrong, they could put on Bluey.
Ashley stands up, and Shane realises he has zoned out again. Are they leaving? Already?
‘I’ll stay here’ Ilya says ‘Shane, go with Ashley, we need kid stuff.’
Shane does as instructed, and follows Ashley down the same corridor covered in posters and chipped paint, that they walked down, what feels like a lifetime ago.
‘This is just to tide you over’ Ashley says, as she pushes a door open and turns on the light ‘obviously you’ll need to get your own supplies, but we know with emergency placements, you’re not always ready.'
Ashley takes an Ikea bag from a table at the front and shakes it open. Shane holds the bag, nodding mutely when she narrates what she puts in. Formula, diapers, wipes, clothes, a couple of toys, car seats.
‘Have you got somewhere for the kids to sleep?’ Ashley asks.
‘Oh, eh’ Shane clears his throat ‘we have plenty of guest bedrooms, we can get a bassinet for Lena tomorrow. Or a crib?’
‘There’s places you can rent cribs, that might be the best option. For tonight, anything safe and soft should do you fine.’
‘I don’t think Ilya’s going to be able to put her down.’ Shane says and then before he can stop himself ‘but he’s safe and soft.’
Ashley chuckles, beckoning Shane out of the room, and closing the door behind her.
‘Come on’ she says ‘I’ll help you guys put the car seats in.’