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Waking with a sharp, thankfully silent gasp, Zoey's eyes, once softly shut, sprung open. Her body dripped in cold sweat that had clung to the mattress and slightly dampened the back of her purple pyjamas. Zoey's limbs felt numb as tingles surged up from her feet towards her chest. She tried to grab her phone to text Mira or Rumi. Just anyone to hold her. But her body refused.
Her small digits reached out for her beloved turtle plushie, which she swore she loved more than both of her girlfriends at one point, and held it close to her petite frame. “Rumi…” she calls out weakly with a trembling voice. "Mira, please.”
Her green slippers caught her attention as she shone dimly from her turtle nightlight she's had ever since she was six back in Burbank, the nightlight her parents swore to each other she'd grow out of.
With a small exhale of air, she peeled herself away from the mattress, kissing one of her plushies goodbye whilst keeping her turtle one in hand. Zoey’s quiet toddle towards her slippers made the floorboards creak beneath her.
Using the walls to lean on, Zoey found herself edging towards the dancer's room. Her "Keep Out” sign met the maknae at eye level as she stared blankly through the singular crease on the bottom corner, her eyes drifting her focus on the doorframe behind it. She stayed in front of the door for a while, lightly swaying as she unfocused her vision, too exhausted to function correctly. Her hands instinctively clutched onto the turtle's shell tighter than they already were, as she brought it to her lips to gently nibble on.
"Mira?...” She whispered, the wood swallowing the sound before it could reach her. “Unnie… please, I had a bad dream.” She tried again, her voice slightly louder yet still dampened out by the doorframe. Twisting the door handle slowly, the metal scratching against old oak, Zoey found herself staring back at the dancer - her pink hair once put up in those familiar pigtails now swept across her face haphazardly with her arm flung across her forehead. Her other hand seemingly preoccupied as it holds onto the stuffed animal both Zoey and Rumi gave her on their first valentine's day as an official throuple.
“Baby?" The maknae muttered through a shallow breath hitched at the idea that her girlfriend still sleeps with plushies just like her. The dancer’s hair seems to catch the moonlight perfectly as the rapper’s eyes drift across her unconscious yet perfect body. Her true brown roots unveiling at the scalp where Mira hasn't gotten the chance to dye it that same fluorescent pink she always uses.
After spinning in the same spot for the fourth time purely to admire the tens of posters the dancer has taped onto her walls, Zoey ruggedly makes her way towards her sleeping girlfriend. The way peace is plastered over Mira’s face as she rests her oak-burnt eyes captivates something in the maknae's precious soul. Her furrowed brows sat neatly above her heavy eyelids as she repositioned herself to face Zoey’s crouched figure almost as if by pure love and instinct. “Pssst… Mira?” Zoey began before pausing briefly to scrunch up her face, her puffy cheeks hiding most of her freckles she knew Mira adored and always found herself admiring during most lazy nights when staring back at Zoey's innocent eyes.
Mira's eyes fluttered open as Zoey's hand caressed her rose-coloured cheek - her soft nails drawing loose circles at the surface of the dancer’s skin. “Mmph.” A simple groan escaped her slightly open lips as warm breath tickled at Zoey's nose. The noise was a soothing mantra to her ears.
Zoey instinctively moved closer, diminishing the space between them until their lips met at the perfect angle. “Can I sleep with you tonight, Unnie?” she whispered sweetly, her breath tracing across her girlfriend’s face.
“Come here." She mumbled still barely awake, throwing the corner of her covers up, inviting the maknae into a lazy cuddle. Zoey could see sleep taming the dancer’s brain again - her movements began to slow and her breathing found a slower, more steady pace.
"Thank you, baby.” Zoey managed as she folded her body into her girlfriend’s upper back, the turtle forgotten and squished between both of them. “I-i love you…” she tried, feeling as if she's being too pushy with attempting to create small talk with her girlfriend already possessed by sleep.
Mira's eyes opened once more before deciding to turn to face Zoey. "What kept you up, hun?... I thought you finally were able to sleep through the night now.” She asked courteously, brushing a loose finger over a stand of hair caught in Zoey's eyelash.
“I still feel guilty-” she responded through a strained voice as her mind shifted back to when she raised her shin-kals towards Rumi. The way she felt betrayed again by the same person she thought she could trust with a full heart.
Mira didn't need an explanation. She never did. " Shh…it's okay my love.” She cooed, using her index finger to grasp at Zoey's freckle-painted chin lightly, drifting her head to find her own again. "She's your girlfriend now, remember? She loves you…I love you.” She reaffirmed again, the smoothness in her once drouse-ridden voice brought the rapper back to the moment - her small digits finding the turtle plush’s even smaller flippers, picking at those loose stitchings she’d always resorted to fidgeting with.
“I know, but still-"
“Still nothing, my love." Mira intervened, putting a finger to the rapper’s moving lips, allowing her to kiss it gently at the bed of her fingerprint. “I raised my gok-do first. You were just following the crowd." Her voice adjusted to something more domestic and motherly seeing her girlfriend lost inside a thick cloud of guilt. "Look at me, baby. Not my finger, okay?” She commanded gently, her tone reverent and low as if communicating comfort to a wounded animal for the first time.
Zoey's brown, doe eyes lifted upwards through the heaviness of guilt she knew she shouldn't even have in the first place.
“Good girl, Zoey." Mira's hands traced over the patterns of her partner’s freckles for a second time, grounding herself in the process. Catching a deep breath, her face inches away from the maknae, her murmurs continued, "She forgives you. Hell she even forgives me, right?” Her comment surprisingly lifted the air momentarily as she deepened her gaze onto the maknae, sieving through each of her impurities she knows as home.
Zoey's head slowly lifts at the slow, deliberate brushes of the dancer's hands. The way she can feel each individual knuckle running ravines across her flustered skin has her mind more at ease - and suddenly she feels safe. Secure. In the right place. “I-i know she did, Mir." She sounded almost guilty for having her own feelings right now but she didn't care to hide it in front of her partner. She knows that Mira knows her more than she does herself.
"Then why contemplate it, honey?” Mira asks simply, pulling the maknae closer towards her. "You said it yourself that you know she forgives you.” She insists, guiding both of Zoey's hands into the palm of her own, gently holding them both together before bringing them to her mouth, kissing Zoey at her slightly warm wrists.
She just hums softly at the open-ended question, wandering her eyes towards the open door she didn't care to close when invading Mira's room. "Because I love her too much to let it go at a small… ‘i forgive you’." She responds unable to retain eye contact with Mira, suddenly starting to feel small and irrelevant again.
Zoey could feel the dancer loosening the grip on her frail wrists, her fingers gliding over her forearm before letting go completely. “I understand, my love.” Mira quietly responds, bringing the plush animal back into the rapper's grasp and leaning her chin on her shoulders as her eyes get reclaimed by sleep. "Just sleep with me, okay baby? We can talk about it in the morning if you want.”
The room stays perfectly still for a moment. The loudest noise being the slight pellets of rain splattering against the window behind the bedframe, each raindrop as a reminder of her guilt. "Please hold me tighter, Mira.” She commanded gently, tightening her arms around the turtle more than her own lover. "And don't let go.”
Mira's longer limbs instinctively took Zoey into her embrace, her hold soothing yet protective of her girlfriend as she felt the maknae’s breathing find its pace, slow and repetitive. "I'm here sweetie. I'll always be here.” She spoke lazily into the rapper's loose hair, curly from being in tight buns from the day before.
"Mine.” Zoey protested, squeezing Mira at the thigh with her legs seamlessly intertwined between the dancer’s smoother, more pale skin.
“Yes my love. Yours and only yours." Mira reassured with a small chuckle escaping her lips and planting a small kiss to Zoey's roots. “Goodnight, my love."
“Sleep well, Unnie…” she sweetly hummed back before drifting into sleep once more. No longer fearing having to relive the nightmare again as her body enclosed itself into Mira's chest, her head resting nicely on her stomach. At each thud of her girlfriend’s heartbeat hammering against her skin, Zoey could feel herself slipping deeper into the soft embrace, her arms relaxing against Mira's back as they fell onto the messy duvet beneath them.