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Mike flushed the last bit of vomit down the drain. It was disgusting, sure, but he appreciated the nasty churn and pain fleeting with it, deep into the pipes of Hawkins.
His whole day had been a confusing, unbelievable blur. Being interrogated, beat up, and drugged by Russians is one thing, but doing it with Max Mayfield is a whole other ballpark. If you had told Mike at the beginning of his time in Scoops Ahoy that he not only found a secret government base below the beloved Starcourt Mall, but was also now somewhat friends with his fire-headed coworker, he would’ve called you crazy. But after all they had been through, he couldn’t imagine not being around her. They were polar opposites, but definitely knew each other through their shared job and friend group.
Max turned her head up from the toilet bowl, flashing her eyes across the ketchup red stall walls, then towards the ceiling. She could finally pick a spot and stare without the rest of the room circling her pupils. “Hey Mike, the ceiling stopped spinning for me. Has it stopped spinning for you?
The dark haired boy batted open his eyes, already seeing the ceiling from his horizontal position on the bathroom floor. Each powdery white tile stayed in place. “Holy shit. Yea, it did. Fucking finally.” He spoke, becoming muffled by the hands running over his face and into his scalp. His temples continued to throb, but finally, the world looked less like a cyclone. “How can we be totally sure it’s all out of our systems?” He questioned.
Max pondered for a moment. “We could…interrogate each other? Like, ask questions to make sure we remember stuff right.” Mike didn’t mind her idea. “Ok, works for me. You go first.”
She leaned on the stall’s wall, knees tucked to her chest. She had done it originally to try and stop her abdomen from throbbing, but now it was just for comfort. “Alright…what’s your favorite band?”
Mike chuckled to himself, yet still loud enough for Max to hear. “God, your questions are boring. The Butthole Surfers, obviously. You know I could never forget that.” He never stopped talking about his music taste, so between that and the constant humming he did during closing, Max couldn’t seriously imagine him forgetting this. It was more likely for him to forget his dad’s name.
Max scoffed, annoyed with his opinions on her interrogation questions. “Fine, Wheeler, if you’re so smart, ask me something.”
So Wheeler pondered, not truly sure about what to ask her. He didn’t know enough deep, personal information about Max to know what she wouldn’t know. After much too long of a silence, he settled on a question. “Have you ever been in love?”
The question wasn’t what Max expected. And to be honest, she didn’t know how to answer it. What counted as being ‘in love’ anyway? She loved El as a sister; she would do anything for her now. By getting her to break up with Mike and learn the true meaning of living free, they had an unbreakable bond. Then of course, there was Lucas. She loved him, but should she count a high school romance as ‘in love’?
“I…I’m not sure.”
The answer set Mike back. He didn’t expect that. The way Lucas talked about her, they had to be in love, right? But then again, the whole party thought him and El were truly in love. “Oh. What do you mean?”
Max wasn’t quite sure. “Well, I dunno. Like, I love Lucas, of course. But I don’t know what being in love feels like. No one’s really made it clear.” And that was an answer Mike was envious of.
Mike knew exactly what it felt like to be in love. Of course, he could never admit it. Those beautiful hazel-brown eyes, the brown hair that framed his face, the mole on the left—
But Mike couldn’t think about it. It hurt too much. If he never thought about it, he would forget what he couldn’t have.
“Max, I think you’re in love, you just don’t want to admit it.” He blurted out, causing Max to quickly react by sliding under the stall that separated them, allowing her to face him with her scowl. “The floor is gross, by the way.” Mike added in.
“Don’t care. Why do you think I’m in love? Do you know what it feels like?” Max Mayfield wasn’t one to dance around the answers she wanted. If she needed answers, she would get them. Mike’s eyes darted around the room, eventually meeting his knees as he pulled them up, leaning his head onto his freckled kneecaps. He could imagine what Max was presuming behind her shiny blue eyes. Her memory was most likely lingering on Mike and El being stuck to one another’s sides for the past few long months. Every time they kissed, or when Mike had become enraged after discovering she had been hidden from him.
“Sure, I know what it feels like. It’s when you look at someone and can’t imagine a time without them. When you know that the first time you spoke to them, that was the best thing you’ve ever done.” Mike’s done it before. No one truly knows, but Mike does. Ever since November of 1983, Mike’s been in love. Unadmittedly.
Max sighed, stretching her legs out straight and reaching the further wall. Her high-top converse tapped at the wall, their white soles being scribbled on with permanent markers. “Geez, don’t make me feel worse about telling El to break up with you. I can tell you’ve been moping.” Max let out, her face showing every emotion. But Mike couldn’t look up. If he did, Max would see the salty tears welling up in his eyes, his usual scowl wiped away from tears as he pressed his eyelids shut, hoping the images of his love would leave his mind. Mike only croaked out a small, “Yea”, letting Max know he heard her, hoping to avoid further questioning.
He couldn’t see her, but he assumed she was rolling her eyes into her skull from her tone. She started up again immediately, obviously not reading his mind. “Alright Wheeler, look. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have butted into your relationship. But El wasn’t happy. You treated her terribly!” Max swung her hands up, gesturing with her growing tone. “I get it, first relationships aren’t easy, but you have to let people live their own life, especially when they’ve been a lab rat their whole existence.”
Mike couldn’t hold back his sobs. His silent tears turned into shoulder-shuddering cries as he curled himself further into his knees. He hated knowing he treated El like that, but he hated even more the misunderstanding Max was having. Max’s eyes went wide. Her body froze as she watched the lanky ‘frogface’ kid curl away from her. She wasn’t sure what to do, so a hand flicked to Mike’s shoulder, holding it steady. “Jesus, Wheeler.” Max muttered, quick and attempting to keep it under her breath. It didn’t work. “Are you ok? Is this the drugs or should I just stop talking?” She blurted out, a silence following. Suddenly, a small hiccup erupted from Mike’s lips. He lifted his head up slowly as a laugh broke into his face. His red eyes slowly opened above his wet cheeks, but he continued smiling. “Both!” He bursted out much louder, leading both ice cream scoopers into a fit of laughter. It wasn’t obvious whether the laughs were genuine, or crafted by Mike to deflect his ginger acquaintance. Once the jerking cackles had subsided, the two sighed nearly in sync. When the lightheartedness left, so did Mike’s joyous demeanor. His eyes began to flick away once more, avoiding the eyes he had just laughed at.
“You know, being in love doesn’t always feel great.” Mike spoke into their peaceful silence. Max looked concerned and confused at once. “What do you mean, Wheeler? I thought that was the whole damn point!” Mike looked down again, his scowling thought taking over his facial expressions. He didn’t know how to put it into words. It was always something he avoided. If he put the mangled ideas in his brain into words, then they were real.
“Listen, I don’t think you’ll understand, but sometimes you love people you shouldn’t. And when that happens…you feel like a freak.” Mike’s voice cracked on the last vowel. He felt like a kid again, but only in the worst ways. The wound was starting to reopen. “Even if they’re the best person in the world. Even if in another life, you could both be happy. But in this one, you can’t, and it makes everything a thousand times worse.”
Max’s eyes narrowed on Mike. She kept trying to read him, but was falling short. “Mike, I don’t get it. What’s so wrong about being with El? If you’d learn to start treating her right.”
The tears watered up Mike’s eyes once more. A knowing yet fearful smirk danced onto his face. “Max, it’s fine. You don’t get it. I’m not talking about El.” Oh. “And if you knew who I was talking about..you–you wouldn’t even look at me.”
Mike’s voice cracked more and more as his shakiness returned. Max may get annoyed with him, but she knew when people needed comfort. “Mike, unless you’ve had some secret side-chick this whole time—which is unfortunately the strongest theory currently—I couldn’t hate you. Not anymore. Not after all we’ve been through.”
Max’s kind words made Mike’s chest pound. He hated how close she was. And why should he tell her anyway? He’s kept this secret hidden for years, what makes him think Max is the right person? Who says she’ll be any less judgemental than anyone else? Mike had to assume there were still some drugs in his system based on what slipped out next.
“It’s my best friend. Max. I can’t do anything about it. And you’ll hate me for it and Lucas and Dustin and certainly El will hate me too.” He wished he could grab words from the air and swallow them back. Mike’s loud mouth killed him. Everything he had done so good at keeping tucked away was slipping from his perfectly trained grasp. All thanks to some mental trauma from the crazy basement Russians.
Max didn’t say anything, but her eyes spoke every thought. She calculated for a long time, eyes never leaving Mike’s.
“Your best friend…Will? But Mike, Will Byers is a boy.”
It was barely audible. “Max.”
“Yea?” She was so clueless.
Mike nodded his head, a knowing and guilty look on his face.
“Oh. Oh.”
Every piece clicked together at once. Everything was explained with one conversation. Max’s eyes were wide. What she had only speculated all made a lot more sense. Mike had to look away, the terrible feeling writhing over his body. He felt exposed, disgusting, wrong. He was ashamed.
“Holy shit.” Max spoke up, head leaning back onto the bright wall.
“Yea…holy shit.” Mike croaked out. He wished he was invisible.
The two sat in silence. Max’s head was reeling with realizations and sudden understanding. Mike could only sit in fear. The silence was uncomfortable and stretched.
“Max? You OD over there?” He spoke up, hoping to cut the tension. He had to pray. Pray that he wouldn’t lose someone else. It had been why he never told anyone, not just about his feelings towards Will, but his feelings towards boys in general. He could only expect disappointment. It made sense for the time, even if he hated it.
“No, no, just…” Her silence was killing Mike. She could slice his head off with a broken pipe and it would hurt less. “Will is great and all, but do you really think you’re on his level?”
Mike’s entire body let out a breath of relief. Holy shit. She doesn’t hate me.
Quickly he realized he was being insulted.
“Wha-yes, of course! I would do anything for him. We’re the Paladin and the Cleric, they have an unbreakable bond!” Mike argued with his D&D terms, and all Max could do was laugh. She hated this guy. But more than anything, she loved all her stupid dork friends.
“But Mike, seriously. How long has this been a thing?” Max loved knowledge and hated being left out. “Geez, fine, ok. Probably have been aware of it for two-ish years?” Max instinctively punched him in the shoulder, leaving Mike to clutch his arm in response. She gawked at him, his idiocy shocking her. “Seriously, Wheeler? And you haven’t seen how obsessed with you he is?”
If Mike was being honest, he saw the same stuff everyone else did, but cursed himself for even thinking that perfect Will Byers would be filthy like him. But maybe now, with Max’s insight, he could be better. Maybe he didn’t have to be something he feared.
Something about the Russian drugs messed with the tear ducts, Mike was sure of it. Here he was, crying again, and Max was embracing him and tucking her stupid orange hair under his chin while he sobbed. Again.
“Wheeler, I don’t know why you thought I was the best choice, but I’m glad you told me.” She spoke into his shoulder as they stayed close. She was the only thing tethering him to reality. They now had much too strong of a bond for someone Mike claimed to hate. “There weren't many better options, Mayfield.” Max leaned off of him as his tears began to subside, but he also braced for impact as she shot another loving punch his way. “Alright, Wheeler, don’t be a bitch!”
The two enemies—now much closer to friends—laughed and laughed for much too long of a time. They didn’t care what happened now. Besides the supernatural problems in Hawkins, they felt superior. Having a bond based on stupid crushes and foreign drugs is stronger than most. But now, the Zoomer and the Paladin didn’t have quite as much hate towards each other as before. What was there was replaced with understanding and true compassion. A jigsaw had fallen into place.