Work Text:
SilverChariot
I MET THE MAN OF MY DREAMS!!!!!
Dear Readers of Reddit,
I’m happy to report that I just met the man of my dreams!!!
It all began when I 24 (M) was at a bar, enjoying a nice glass of cabernet when this ugly cowboy looking man came in. He also smelled absolutely awful, like cow poop, I’m not sure this man took a shower in the last decade.
Anyways, he was awful, he kept catcalling the bartender, would not shut up about the ‘gun in his pocket,’ and when the bartender politely asked him to stop, he continued. It was at this point I was about to pull out my sword (I should probably clarify that this bar is fencer friendly)
Before I could do anything, a man in a red robe appeared. He challenged the cowboy to a duel. It was at this point that everyone in the bar formed a circle to watch. I should probably also note that fights like these aren’t uncommon in this bar, that said tonight was the first time I have seen either this man or that cowboy.
Now before I describe the fight you need to know that this is the most beautiful man on the planet. He was so buff, his biceps could choke me and I would thank him. His eyes were that of a deep honey quartz, I wanted to stare at them forever. His skin was the color of copper. I swear he had a face that a god would have, it was sharp, well-defined, with eyes filled with determination. I can go on but this post is getting long.
Anyways, we were all waiting for one of them to throw the first punch. Cowboy is the first to do so but the man ducks and then UPPERCUTS him in the face. It was actually insane; the cowboy went flying and crashed into a table. Then the man immediately paid for damages and asked if everyone was alright (He was so kind!!!!!)
I still can’t believe he exists and isn’t just a figment of my imagination. Oh, if you just saw him, you would have fallen in love. That said, he left before I could get his number or even talk to him. I don’t know what to do, any advice would be appreciated.
I-DID-NOT-CRASH-THAT-PLANE
Young love, it’s beautiful to see, as a 65 year old married man, I think you should frequent that bar as much as possible. Maybe, challenge him to a fight so he can see your strength, that’s how I married my husband. Or give him flowers, that’s how I married my wife.
EmeraldSplash
I honestly think it’s unlikely that you’re ever going to see him again. I doubt he will come back to the bar given that he beat up someone there. Are you sure this your dream man? I think you might be dealing with infatuation not love.
HarmlessOldLady
How are you this down bad? You haven’t even talk to the man
MissQ
Oh, what a romantic story, :) You should follow your heart, one of my husbands is super rich, if you need help tracking him down my Joseph will be more than happy to help.
Lovers69
Are we just going to ignore the fact that OP carries a sword on them
VanillaOnTheIce
Personally, best advice I have is to give up and just think of him every day. This worked wonders for me, the man who haunts my every thought is now my boss so I can now gaze upon him every day.
EmeraldSplash
WTF?!?!?
I’M-Too-Tired-For-This-Shit
Give up.
HoldingUpHorses
Wait, a damn minute! I was the guy your guy beat up!!! OP the man you love is terrible! He broke my back! And I wasn’t being rude to the bartender! I was merely asking her out. ALSO I DON’T SMELL BAD!
SilverChariot
YES, YOU WERE! Now get out of my subreddit I will not have you talking about the love of my life like that. AND YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT.
BubblesMaster
OP you are insane and remind me of my spouses, go get your man.
UPDATE
SilverChariot
I don’t know what to say other than fate is on my side. I met the man again and he is wonderful; we’re calling him M for now (I’m not going to doxx him but just know his name fits him perfectly)
I was just walking down the street when I saw this crystal shop. At first, I was going to walk by it when I remembered that my sister loves crystals and stopped to check it out. And low and behold the man of my dreams is there.
I wasn’t sure what to say to him because telling him I saw him at a bar and been thinking about him for weeks is a bit creepy. So instead, I ended up talking about crystals with him for about three hours, but it felt like ten minutes. Also, his dog hates me, I don’t know what to do about that but other than that talking to him is heaven
It’s been four months since and I’m running out of excuses to come and see him. I already bought forty crystals, and I don’t know what else to do! As always, any advice is greatly appreciated.
HarmlessOldLady
40 crystals is pathetic
I’M-Too-Tired-For-This-Shit
Just ask him out like a normal person.
EmeraldSplash
Maybe ask him out for a cup of coffee or something
I-DID-NOT-CRASH-THAT-PLANE
There’s no need to ask him out, instead challenged him to a fight, it works like a charm
BubbleMaster
Do not do this
I-DID-NOT-CRASH-THAT-PLANE
It worked on you
MissQ
Tell him he has weird lips, also works like a charm
VanillaOnTheIce
OP, I think you’re doing great, you managed to get weekly conversations with the man of your dreams, I used to pray for things like this.
RedMagician
OP, this might sound weird but are you a buff Frenchman?
SilverChariot
I am
RedMagician
Ask him out
Lover69
What do you mean his dog hates you?
UPDATE
SilverChariot
I’m so sorry that I haven’t updated in a while, I meant to post this a week ago. Anyways, as you might have guessed, I did ask M (the man of my dreams) out. Or at least I try to. I was so nervous that I bought him his favorite tea, put my number on the cup, handed it to him and walked away. It wasn’t till ten minutes later that I remembered that I had to ask him out.
Before I could go back to the shop somebody was calling me, it turned out it was M. He ended up asking me out on a date, and we went to the café across the street. Then we got ice cream, then we walked to the park, and next thing you know we entered an underground fighting tournament.
Which we won. The prize was a three-day vacation to Dollywood. After that I invited him over to my house and then he invited me to his house, and we ended up spending the entire week together. I’m so overjoyed!!! I can’t wait for our next date!
EmeraldSplash
OP, I’m impressed, I really didn’t think you would ever see this man again, congratulations, crazy first date by the way
MissQ
It’s wonderful to see love blooming, I have to show this update to my Joseph and Ceasar.
I-DID-NOT-CRASH-THAT-PLANE
Suzie, I love you, but you have to stop doxxing us
BubbleMaster
You just doxed her, idiot.
VanillaOnTheIce
OP, teach me your ways
EmeraldSplash
You’re not seriously considering asking out your boss?
WineAunt62
Been there
I’M-Too-Tired-For-This-Shit
A week is insane
BubbleMaster
OP, I’m so proud of you.
Lover69
Are we just going to ignore the underground fighting tournament?!?!