Chapter Text
So, about two months ago, Petra lost her job. Turns out sending your boss to jail isn’t a good way to earn a lifelong stable income. But it was in the name of justice!
Great.
She really fucked that one up.
In her defence, quite literally, she saved an innocent person from going to jail and found the actual murderer. On the other hand, she can’t fully say it was all her honest and hard work.
After all, defence attorneys aren’t meant to take the back seat while their defendant does all the work. And when she did put her formally moulded brain and self-trained vocals to use, it was to present evidence that was dodgily given to her during recess by an equally dodgily individual - a forged bloodied ace card.
Revealed to her only after the fact by her very own client, the defendant, the former ace attorney, Elira Pendora, once unbeatable in the court only to lose her lawyer’s badge after presenting forged evidence seven years ago.
Seven years ago, Petra remembers when news of Elira Pendora’s disbarment had broken out. It was the only topic her peers would gossip about for weeks and she had buried herself deeper into her law textbooks, vehemently conjuring up scenarios where the just, selfless woman in the pages was real and the woman in the news headlines was just… gone because she was preparing for a defamation lawsuit. Petra had never believed that Elira Pendora, the lawyer who took more pro bono cases than holiday breaks and stubbornly fought for the innocence of her clients, would succumb to the dark side of the law.
But then the literal evidence was handed to her and all she could do was grip the edge of her seat until her knuckles turned white as the roller coaster of reality brought her crashing down to the ground.
How could Elira Pendora have done that?
Unfortunately, in the time spent between moving her stuff out of the Lovelock Law Offices she once worked at and searching for any new side jobs that would suit her, Petra could not come up with answers, perhaps still in shock that her idol has indeed fallen from grace. Even punching Elira Pendora in her perfect smug face - after she revealed that Petra had been tricked into presenting forged evidence to win the case - did not give her the satisfaction she wanted.
There is also admittedly, horrifyingly, a small part of Petra that wonders, what if Elira Pendora was actually guilty? What if she had not only tricked Petra into presenting forged evidence to incriminate her former boss, but also tricked her former boss into believing she was the killer?
She snuffed that doubt with alcohol because she was unemployed and needed to drown in her misery and maybe if she developed liver problems, she wouldn’t have to worry about finding a job in this society.
And well, here she is now. It’s been almost two months since Petra lost her job. Two months since her first trial as a defence attorney. Two months since her former boss was arrested. Two months since she met Elira Pendora in person and realised why they said never meet your heroes.
Petra had sworn she would never see Elira Pendora again, even when she hit the nth hour of drunkenness and desperation and was digging deeper into her savings just to afford at least one meal a day.
Yet here she is, standing outside the Weewa Law Offices like a dog with its tail in between its legs, having finally received a call from Elira Pendora about a job offer at her offices.
‘Deep breaths, Petra. There’s nothing to be nervous about.’
Someone disrupts her breathing exercises. “Eyy, you must be here for the interview. Right this way!”
At the entrance of the offices is a young man, possibly still a late teen, smiling brightly in an extremely elegant but also extremely over-the-top get-up with dark robes and… were those bones? Oh, that’s a skull, wait- is that orb floating?! How?
Petra lets herself get led into the office by this weird person only to find herself in an utterly cluttered area, a room that is nothing at all like the prim and proper law offices she was used to back when she was employed and instead resembling her living situation back when she was an exhausted college student living with other exhausted college students who all just threw their shit at the wall and hoped nothing broke as they simply tried to get by each day. Okay, that fork of spaghetti was definitely floating, what the fuck.
“Let’s get right to it,” the stranger says, pulling out an iPad from somewhere and setting himself to take notes. “Any special talents?”
“Uh, what?”
“You must have at least one.” He insists, purple eyes shining too innocently for Petra to think she’s being pranked on.
“I guess… defending?” Petra says.
“Defending…” the stranger repeats, writing it down onto his iPad. “An unusual talent but we can make it work. Go on then! Show me what you got! Defend!”
“Wh-What?” Petra splutters, “I can’t just ‘defend’ here!”
The stranger huffs. “First lesson: a professional can perform anywhere.”
“Perform? I’m not here to perform,” Petra snips, trying to curb her frustrations.
The stranger puts his iPad down and tilts his head in confusion. “What? What did you come here for then?”
“This is the Weewa Law Offices, right?” Petra had triple-checked the location and she knew the front of the building she was in perfectly matched past photos she had seen of the Weewa Law Offices. She did use to dream of working here, when she believed in all the good and justice of ace attorney Elira Pendora.
The man’s smile drops. “Oh. I was afraid of that. It’s okay, you’re not the first to make that mistake!”
“What?!” Petra’s rage boils over, “Look, I don’t know what silly business you’re running but I got a call from Ms Pendora and I know this is her office! You might still be a young, immature brat who thinks it’s funny to prank others but this sort of mess,” She gestures to the cluttered room, “And your dumb cosplay outfit,” She gestures to the man’s attire, “Is completely unprofessional and I will be telling the person in charge about your acts of misdemeanour. Now will you kindly tell me where she is?”
The stranger smiles again, seemingly unfazed by Petra’s rant and beckons her to the entrance again. “I think you should read the sign out front again!”
Petra stomps over and points at it. “Right there! It says Weewa- …Wait, what? Why does it say Weewa Talent Agency?”
“Yep, this is Weewa Talent Agency, where we make you go waa!” the man chirps, “I’m Shu Yamino, CEO of this business. I’m a sorcerer.” He poses and it is both elegant and over-the-top just like his outfit.
“Sorcerer?” Petra repeats, suddenly drained of her anger.
“I hardly even know her!” Shu says, as he leads Petra back inside.
She takes a proper look at the man’s face, ignoring the distractions of his extra accessories and her emotional turmoil and suddenly realises that this face is familiar. His hair is much longer, swept up in a ponytail, and his forehead is marked with some red symbol. His yellow bangs fall down the left side of his face and this perhaps explains why she took so long to recognise him.
“Hello, miss. Please pick a card.” A young man in a long coat and black turtleneck presents a fanned out deck of cards to her. He would almost be just an ordinary man if not for his yellow bangs which sweep upwards, defying gravity and sticking out against the contrast of his black mullet with pink and purple highlights. And also the fact that he is asking her to pick a card in the hallway of the court building.
“Sorry, no.”
Petra tries to walk away but the man quickly adds, “Ms Pendora would really appreciate it.”
Petra is fighting a losing battle and she is so, so tired. So she picks a card.
And it is the bloody ace.
“Shu Yamino…” Petra mutters. She looks at where the end of his ponytail reaches and doesn’t think hair can grow that fast in two months. But then again, the rest of his appearance is also incomprehensible.
“That’s me!” Shu says cheerfully as he hands Petra a colourful piece of paper. “This is our flyer! So, what’s your name?”
She looks down at the paper which neatly reads Weewa Talent Agency and not Weewa Law Offices. “Petra Gurin. I’m a lawyer.” She technically still has her badge, even if her chances of getting another case are about as likely as surviving a hit and run with zero scratches. “Is this really a talent agency?”
“Yep!” Shu smiles. “Elira started it seven years ago when she quit law! We only have two people signed up though.”
“And that includes you and Ms Pendora?”
“Yeah! I’m a spooky sorcerer. I’ve done a lot of stage shows. Paid too,” Shu explains, as if that explains anything. “And Elira is a star pianist.”
“I thought she said she couldn’t play piano?” Petra remembers that detail from two months ago because it was followed by the admission that the lawyer she looked up to actually dealt cards at a poker table.
“Our agency doesn’t see that as a problem,” Shu says. “I mean, there are loads of sorcerers who can’t do sorcery.”
“Riiiight… And how do you do sorcery?” Petra asks, fully sceptical. “Last I checked, sorcery isn’t real.”
Shu gasps. “My sorcery is real! Look, I can make this plate of spaghetti disappear right now.” He waves his gloved hand over it, and in a blink, it vanishes.
“Ok, so you can do magic tricks,” Petra says. “I bet I can do that too with practice. It’s just sleight of hand. You’re not special.”
The plate, including floating fork, appears in her hands and she admits that she isn’t quite sure how Shu manages that but she won’t make the guy break the magician’s code and his weird RP so she doesn’t push on it further.
“Well, even if you want to see it as magic tricks, you should still come to my shows,” Shu says, “They’re free to watch at By The Beat, the local bar where I perform weekly.”
Petra makes a noncommittal noise. “How did you meet Ms Pendora? And don’t make a ‘a sorcerer and a lawyer walks into the bar together’ joke.”
Shu laughs. “We’re family! After Elira quit law seven years ago, I made sure to earn my fair load to keep the two of us afloat. I’m in charge of this whole office too. Pretty impressive for an eighteen-year-old, don’t you think? I mean, I just finished school!”
“E-Eighteen? Umm, and how old is Ms Pendora?” Petra asks.
“It’s rude to ask a lady’s age,” Shu huffs. “And you probably know already anyway.”
Petra blanches at being called out. She does know that Elira is thirty-three and, well, she sure hopes there’s a good explanation for whatever their relationship is because she doesn’t think a freshly-finished-high-school eighteen-year-old, much less an eleven-year-old, should be carrying any financial burden, especially when living with an older adult.
Petra clears her throat. “So where is Ms Pendora? She called me this morning to come in because she had a job for me.”
“Elira’s not here right now,” Shu answers. “She’s in hospital.”
“Oh.”
“...”
“Wait, the hospital?!”
Shu volunteers to take Petra to the clinic where Ms Pendora is staying. While Petra would prefer to go on her own considering her companion draws a lot of weird glances, the guy clearly wanted to see his family member and it would be rude of her to not go with him since she did need to visit Ms Pendora, even if her want to go back home grew stronger every second.
“Visitors? What brings you to Parfait Clinic?” A ginger woman approaches them, donning what appears to be a black doctor’s coat and a large witch’s hat.
Parfait Clinic? Was this really a hospital or a Halloween store?
“Yeah, are you the doctor?” Petra asks.
The woman giggles. “Yeeesss! I’m Dr Parfait. But you can call me sexy~” She moans the last word and Petra feels heat rush to her face.
“Hi Millie!” Shu says, peeking from behind Petra even though he is much taller than her.
“Oh, Shuuuuu!” Dr Parfait says sultrily and Petra decides ew, why is she talking like that? “You’re just so cute!”
“Can you take us to Elira’s room?” Shu asks, acting way too chill.
“Oh yeah!” The doctor leads them through the clinic. “She’s gone for a morning check-up but that should be done around now. I wish I was the one doing the check-up but at least I didn't miss seeing you, Shu. So, I heard you’ve finished school now. How do you feel about spending your free time being with me?”
Someone clears their throat behind them. “Millie, what did I say about harassing my son?” Entering the room is Elira Pendora, dressed in all black because clearly this hospital did not care for proper uniform regulations.
…Shu was her son?
“Aww, but Elira, I’m so single! Even a fake boyfriend will do! Shu’s so cute and chill, he doesn’t mind, right?”
“Yeah, I don’t mind.”
“I mind!” Elira Pendora yells. “I’m not letting you take advantage of Shu’s niceness. Also, you can have me. Why can’t I be your real girlfriend?”
“Elira, if you were my real girlfriend, you would not have bigger boobs than me,” Dr Parfait says.
“You like my boobs! I let you squeeze and sleep on them way more than I should.”
“Can you not have this conversation?” Petra cuts in. She has never regretted not walking back home more than ever in her life.
“Okay, I’ll leave. But if you need anything, just moan for me and I’ll be there!” the doctor says, “Byee~”
“Hey Shu! Good morning Petra,” Ms Pendora greets, as if she didn’t just have a wildly inappropriate conversation with her doctor in front of her son and a lawyer. “I wasn’t expecting you to come so early.”
“Good morning Ms Pendora,” Petra says warily. “My apologies, you didn’t exactly give me a time when you called.”
“Just call me Elira. And yeah, that’s my bad. I was really hoping I’d be outta the hospital by the time you came though.”
“Right, so what happened?” Petra asks.
“Oh, I was just a victim of a hit and run. Wild, huh?” Elira says, casually.
“You were hit by a car?!”
“He tried to swerve,” Elira shrugs. “Clearly failed and flung me soaring through the air. Only reason I probs didn’t get sent to the moon was ‘cause my head hit the telephone pole. Luckily, I only got a sprained ankle from all that.”
“You- Hit- What- Ah-” Petra splutters before shaking her head. There have been things that made less sense this morning. “Ahem, anyway, why did you contact me? What could the Weewa Talent Agency want with me?”
“Hey, you don’t have anything against the name, do you?” Elira frowns. “Shu and I worked really hard on that. Mostly Shu so you better not be making fun of his naming skills.”
“Elira,” Petra grits through her teeth because it is not even 10 in the morning yet and she’s already been put through the wringer from these people’s antics. “The first thing I had to hear when I woke up was a voicemail from you after absolute radio silence for two months saying ‘Help! Job for you! We’re in big trouble here at the office! Giga big!’ I thought someone died.”
“Hey, you don’t think we’re in big trouble?” Elira says, “My agency only has two employees and one of them is in hospital!”
“We’re kinda in a rough patch,” Shu adds. “Elira’s been getting less clients since being falsely accused of murder and I currently only have my weekly shows at By The Beat since no one else is willing to hire an eighteen-year-old with no work experience.” In a lower voice, Shu pouts to himself, “Because apparently doing shows on the street don’t count.”
Petra softens at that. She certainly knows the struggle of job hunting and she at least has a degree. Finding work as a teenager in the entertainment industry is near impossible without connections and the blessings of Lady Luck.
“Well, I’m here,” she says. “I would have preferred to get here without all the unnecessary slapstick comedy on the side. What can I even do for you anyway? You can’t actually want me for a talent agency. I’m a lawyer.”
Elira beams. “Exactly! You’re a lawyer which is just what I need. Now look here.” She pulls out a map of what appears to be the local neighbourhood. “Last night, I left the office just before nine o’clock. I was hired to play piano for the opening of this new seafood place over here. As I was heading there, that’s when it happened. The car sent me flying, nicked the telephone pole and then zoomed away in this direction.” She points down a street on the map. “Good luck!”
“Huh?”
“You need a client, don’t you? I’m your client! Find the guy who knocked me into the telephone pole.”
“I’m a defence attorney, not a detective!”
“Don’t worry,” Elira says, “Once you’ve found the guy, I intend to sue him. Then you can go off on him in court.”
“I’m not a prosecutor either!” Petra can feel a vein is about to burst any second. “Forget it. I’m going home. I’m sorry you’re in hospital and are struggling with money but it’s not my job to help you with that.”
“Woah, loosen up, Petra,” Elira says. “Okay, look, I do have a client lined up for you. I’d just appreciate it if you kept an eye out for any potential hit-and-run suspects. But someone does need your help. Your client will stop by the office some time today.”
“That’s it? You don’t have any more details? Who’s the client? What do they look like?”
“Some time today?” Shu questions, “What if the client is already there? Petra, we can’t leave a helpless soul waiting! Let’s go! It’ll be better to ask the client details in person anyway.”
As much as Petra wants to badger Elira further, Shu makes a good point.
“Fine, but I have questions that I’d like answered later.” She looks at Elira who nods and smiles.
“Of course, I’m sure we’ll discuss everything eventually.”
Petra hates walking.
She wishes she hadn’t chosen to dress cutely in her pink plaid dress and black heels because she was feeling the furthest thing away from cute but at least this was better than her usual lawyer fit, a fluffy white skirt and tight black corset with sheer sleeves and stockings. Yeah, she would actually collapse on the sidewalk if she was wearing that.
She can at least take solace in the fact that Shu, who almost never stopped smiling in the past hour or so since she’s met him, seems to be deeply regretting his outfit choice, stopping occasionally to put his hands on his knees and breathe deeply. It doesn’t help that he is apparently the most directionally challenged person she has ever met, almost taking them down the wrong streets had Petra not pulled up Google Maps on her phone after Shu had made them walk around an entire block when they were heading from the agency to the hospital.
As they approach the office, they can see a hunched figure outside, clearly waiting for them.
“Hey hey hey!” The person grumpily shouts upon noticing them. “How long were you gonna make me wait?”
“I’m so sorry sir,” Petra says, straightening up and hoping there are no sweat stains seeping through her white blouse. Then she blinks as she takes a proper look at the man who is apparently her client. Atop his head, there appears to be an upturned noodle bowl. The most concerning part is that she can’t tell if the pale strands curling out from under the bowl are his hair or actual noodles. Did everyone in this neighbourhood just dress weirdly?
Speaking of, Shu bounces up, as if he wasn’t just dying from the walk back, and smiles brightly. “Mr Eldoon! Good morning! Wanna see me do sorcery?”
The man, Eldoon, brightens. “Shu! Yes, I’d love to see your sorcery! Go right ahead!”
“Okay, ready? Disappear!”
Petra blinks and Shu is no longer standing next to her, disappearing just as he claimed. “What the-”
“Reappear!” Shu suddenly pops up again and he is now in white and magenta clothes, still remarkably unique, but much less extravagant than his other outfit, although there is still a skull and bones at his hips and there is now the addition of little wings at his collar? His hair is also now styled in the mullet she first saw back at the courts two months ago, with the blond bangs swept upwards again. The long ponytail must have been hair extensions then.
“WOAH!!!” Eldoon yells. “How did you do that? One second you were here and then the next you were gone and then you were here again! You even changed your appearance! Incredible as always, Shu!”
“Thank you!” Shu grins and he turns to Petra, looking at her expectantly.
“Yeah, that was impressive,” Petra admits. “Don’t you want to change into something more comfortable though? A plain shirt and shorts would be fine, no?”
“Petra, how will I get people to hire me if they don’t know that I’m a sorcerer? I have to always dress for the job.” Shu poses again and Petra decides to keep to herself the real reason she suspects people aren’t willing to hire Shu.
“Hey! So this is that Petora fellow, eh?” Eldoon turns to her and she swears the noodles are sentient as they bounce with his head movement. “Now that’s a power stance! Look at her standing there, arms all crossed. She is ready to fight!”
“Yes!” Petra says, “Uh, hold on, you don’t mean that literally, do you?”
Eldoon ignores her. “The boss told you what I need, right? Don’t let me down now, Petora!”
‘It’s Petra,’ she keeps to herself. “Of course, sir. You won’t have to worry at all. I’ll do my absolute best to defend you.”
“Defend?!” Eldoon yells. “Are your noodles half-cooked? No, no, no, it’s too late for defence! My castle’s been stormed! My keep’s been kept! My noodle stand’s been stolen!”
“...Noodle?”
“Oh, Petra, you don’t know Mr Eldoon from the noodle stand?” Shu asks.
“No! Of course I don’t know him!”
“What?! Petra, Petra, Petra…” Mr Eldoon begins.
‘At least he got my name right.’
“Let me be the first then to tell you that I, Guy Eldoon, make the best - THE BEST!!! - noodles in town! I am the greatest chef and the proud owner of Eldoon’s Noodles! Guy Eldoon’s the name and noodles are my game! The secret’s in the soup! I’ve been searching for the perfect soup for a year and a half.”
“Oh.” Petra says, flabbergasted. “Umm, that’s not that long, really. Most chefs spend years perfecting their craft.”
“Yeah and that’s what makes me the best!” Eldoon declares. “My family’s been noodle men for generations! Fifteen fathers passing the noodle to fifteen sons. But I was such a fool! I rebelled against my father and picked another livelihood. And… that didn’t turn out so well.”
“Ah.”
“There was no denying it then! Salty broth runs through my veins!”
“Wow,” Shu says, bouncing on his toes as Eldoon regales his tragic backstory. “So it was like destiny then that you became the noodle man you are today.”
“Destiny! That’s a good word, Shu,” Eldoon says. “I fought destiny and ripped its balls with a strip of tape. But the balls held strong and in the end, those curly hairs grew back just as I was bound by the twisted noodle of fate.” He clenches his fists and stares at it forlornly. Petra cannot particularly care about the mental image that he thrusted upon her.
“Okaaayyy… tell me more about Eldoon’s Noodles,” she says because she needs all the information she can get.
“You don’t know the genius of my noodles?!” Eldoon shouts. “I make ‘em so salty that they’re saltier than salt!”
‘This was a mistake,’ Petra thinks for the millionth time today.
“Elira’s a regular at this noodle stand,” Shu tells her.
“That’s right!” Eldoon says. “She used to frequent my pops’ stand back in her attorney days too. My noodles aren’t just a meal but a comfort. The saltiness of the broth completely distracts you from the saltiness of your tears.”
Oh. “Sorry for not knowing. I’ll be sure to drop by your stand soon,” Petra amends.
“I wish you could,” Eldoon sighs. “But my stand’s been stolen! It’s gone-zo!”
“No way!” Shu gasps.
“What happened?” Petra asks.
“It was last night,” Eldoon explains. “I was doing my rounds, blowing my whistle and yelling ‘Noodles! Noodles! Get your salty noodles here! Made by me, Guy Eldoon! Noodles! Noodles! Eldoon’s Noodles!’”
“He’s like an ice-cream truck but louder,” Shu says brightly. “He even gets complaints!”
“Aw shucks, Shu. You don’t have to butter me up.”
‘That shouldn't be a compliment,’ Petra wants to retort.
Eldoon continues. “I closed up my stand for the night and parked by my house. Then, this morning, dark and early... It was gone-zo! My keep! My castle! Oooooh!” He shakes a fist in the air. “Without that stand, I’m finished! Vanquished! Defeated! All my noodle bowls were in there too.”
“Oh no, that’s the saddest thing I’ve heard all day,” Shu says.
‘Not the news that your… mum got hospitalised?’ Petra silently questions.
“So that’s the deal,” Eldoon says. “Good luck!”
“Good… wait, what’s your request?” Petra asks.
“My noodle stand!” Eldoon exclaims. “You have to find it, Petra! Who am I without my noodles? I’m just a guy. I don’t wanna be just a guy! The day you bring my baby back is the day you feast on as many noodles as you want! I make them so hot and salty that two bowls could kill a man!”
“I’m a defence attorney, not a detective,” Petra bites.
“Defence attorney, detective, dum-dum doofus didiot - doesn’t matter who you are. Now, this is where I live.” Eldoon points at the map Shu is suddenly holding and Petra belatedly realises Shu must’ve somehow swiped it from her bag without her seeing as it is the same one Elira had given her. “Drop by if you got info on the damned noodle stealer. Get back today if you can, Petra. I have noodles to make and I’m counting on you!”
With that, he leaves, back still heavily slouching that Petra can only assume it is to keep the noodle bowl balanced atop his head. She looks back at Shu whose wings at his collar flutter on their own and she realises there may be a reason why Shu believes he needs to promote his job through his appearance.
“Great,” Petra mutters. “Now I’ve been tasked with finding a hit-and-run perpetrator and a noodle stand thief even though it’s not my fucking job.”
“Most people have to take on a bunch of odd jobs before finding their real job,” Shu says wisely for an eighteen-year-old who, from what Petra has heard so far, doesn’t seem interested in branching out to retail or other services outside of “sorcery”. Shu then looks nervous as he continues speaking. “Um, but Petra, since you’re taking on those requests, if you don’t mind, there was something I wanted to ask too.”
Petra sighs. “What is it, Shu?”
“I also lost something last night. Something was stolen. Umm… you see, someone stole my poop.”
“Nope.”
Petra begins to walk away but Shu appears in front of her, blocking her way.
“Wait, Petra, this is really important to me!” Shu pleads. “It’s my magic poop! It’s my most popular sorcery trick at my shows.”
‘So it’s a prop. Is he actually a twelve-year-old?’
“I was alone in the office last night,” Shu explains. “I keep the poop outside because it prefers to touch grass.” - Why was he talking about the poop as if it was sentient? - “And usually it’s very good at hiding and avoiding being picked up by strangers. Or if a stranger does come near, it’ll fly straight for that person’s face and scare them away. But this time, it was caught off guard! A thief swept in from nowhere and stole my poop! I tried to run after him but he was so fast. I lost him and returned home, poopless. Petra, who am I without my poop? The poop is an iconic part of my identity.”
“Seriously?” Petra asks. “There’s really nothing else iconic about you?” She pointedly looks at his outfit.
“I guess there’s my banana but which one is funnier? Poop or banana? I choose poop.”
‘I don’t want to know what his banana is referring to. Somehow, he’s not even the weirdest one in his story he just told me. Who the fuck steals a magic prop that looks like shit? Literally.’
“So, will you help me?” Shu asks and he looks at Petra so earnestly that she can’t bring herself to say no.
“Note it on the map,” she grumbles.
Shu’s eyes light up. “Thanks, Petra! Let’s go then. The two of us will find those criminals in no time!”
“You’re joining me?”
“Of course! I know these streets better than you after all.” Shu turns and starts walking only to stop as he realises he was about to walk into the talent agency.
‘With that sense of direction, I highly doubt it,’ Petra thinks dryly. ‘Although I suppose it’s better than leaving me to do all the work alone.’
“So this is where Elira got hit by the car?” Petra asks, double-checking the map.
Petra and Shu are in front of a huge mansion, which lies opposite to a park on the other side of the street. The park seems to be closed off and there are a couple of police by the entrance. It immediately piques Petra’s interest however the same cannot be said for Shu.
“Hey, there’s a nice-looking guy over there. Let’s question him.” He walks over to a tall and built man, dressed in a fancy white suit and cleaning what appears to be paint splatter along the walls and ground in front of the mansion. The mansion, not the park.
“Excuse me, can we talk to you a bit?” Shu asks.
“You want something?” The man speaks in a low, husky voice, the shadows from the fedora on his head giving him a dark and menacing look.
“Are you the owner of this house?” Shu continues, undeterred. “It’s so pog!”
The man brightens and he suddenly looks much younger. “POG! Yeah, this is the Kaneshiro Family mansion. You can call me Luca.”
“Eh?!” Petra squeaks. She grabs Shu’s wrist and starts pulling him. “Sorry to disturb you!” She tells Luca. “We’ll be going now.”
Shu is unfortunately stronger and dumber than her, resisting her pull and not recognising that the Kaneshiros are the most powerful mafia group in town who could kill them any second now for trying to speak to them.
“Petra, we can’t leave without questioning him! What if he knows something?”
“Shu, he is part of the mafia,” she whispers as ferociously as she can. “He can kill us!”
“That’s right!” Luca grins. “I’m not just a part of the mafia but I’m the mean and evil mafia boss! The youngest one too at just twenty.”
“Woah, you’re the mafia boss?” Shu says, “Awesome. I’m Shu Yamimo. Sorcerer since birth but I’m eighteen now. And this is Petra Gurin. She’s a lawyer! I dunno how old she is.”
Petra is twenty-five but she’s not giving more personal details away to a mafia boss even if he’s younger than her.
“Nice to meet you,” Luca says, his eyes trained on Shu. “Are you from around here? I feel like I’d recognise your face if I saw you around.”
Petra decides to step in because even if it is true that Shu is super recognisable for his appearance, he’s also proven to be very naive and she feels a little responsibility for making sure he doesn’t get charmed by the leader of a criminal organisation whose innocent remark is bordering on the line of flirting.
“What happened here? Was this paint knocked over by the same car that hit Elira?” Petra demands.
“Elira Pendora?” Luca clarifies. “Yeah. And I’m left to clean up the mess. If you find whoever did this, bring the scoundrel for me, ‘kay?”
“Will do,” Shu says. “Then they can clean up their own mess.”
Luca laughs. “You’re cute.” His voice lowers and his gaze darkens. “When I find whoever did this, there certainly will be some ‘cleaning’. People who make a mess on my property do not get away for long.”
“Alright, anything you two have to say to each other goes through me,” Petra says.
“Huh? That seems like a needless procedure,” Shu points out.
“I’m a lawyer. I live for needless procedures.”
Shu immediately disregards the rule Petra sets up and directly asks Luca, “Why are you out here doing manual labour? You’re a mafia boss, don’t you have lackeys to do the work for you?”
“Shu!” Petra hisses.
“I have the Cubs,” Luca answers. “They’re what you’d call lackeys I suppose but really they’re just as much of a family as anyone in the mafia. We’re putting forward a new initiative and as the boss, I gotta take responsibility and provide the best for everyone under my name, y’know?”
“Wow, you’re so nice!” Shu says. “Maybe I should join the mafia. It sounds like everyone gets super sweet treatment.”
“I told you to speak through me,” Petra grouches, “You are not joining the mafia!”
Luca smiles, meeting Shu’s eyes. “If you become a Kaneshiro, I’ll certainly make sure you get five-star treatment.”
“Through. Me.” Petra wishes she was taller so that she could at least block Shu and Luca’s eye contact.
Shu continues to chat with Luca casually. “What’s it like being in the mafia?”
“It’s tough work but nothing I can’t handle.” Petra wishes she missed the way Luca puffs his chest and Shu’s gaze drifts towards it. She sadly cannot deny that she did also take a peek because how could god have blessed this young man with more booba than her? “Admittedly, things have been tougher,” Luca rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. He turns to Petra. “You mentioned you were a lawyer, right?”
“Nope,” Petra says. She already has three unpaid ‘lawyer’ cases; she doesn’t need another one, especially from the head of a criminal organisation. Finally grabbing the attention of the mafia boss, she barrels on with her interrogation. “So about the paint spill, this was knocked over by the same car which sent Elira flying into the air and knocking a telephone pole, right? What time did it happen?”
Luca’s expression drops. “Right. Well, it was around nine last night. I heard a crashing noise and ran outside to find a woman crumpled on the ground, surrounded by paint. We’re in the middle of repainting, you see. So the car hit Ms Pendora, knocked over the paint, then turned the corner and sped away.”
“Did you see what the car looked like? What did the driver inside the car look like? What was the number plate? At what speed was the car going per hour?” Petra presses.
Luca holds a hand up in a placating way. “I may be a mafia boss but I’m still only human. It was dark, the car was definitely going over the speed limit, and I was paying more attention to the woman who got hit. At the very least, I can tell you it wasn’t a bird or a plane.”
‘Of course a vehicle on the road wouldn’t be a bird or a plane!’ Petra wants to tear her hair out.
“Thank you for telling us all you know,” Shu smiles and Luca brightens again because Shu seems to have that effect on people. “And thanks for helping Elira. If you weren’t there, she’d probably have tried to walk back home on her own despite getting hit by a car.”
“Of course!” Luca exclaims. “I couldn’t just leave her alone. She’s a strong one though. The way she soared through the sky, I was really expecting a corpse to land back on the ground.”
‘Don’t say that to her son!’ Petra screams in her head.
Shu doesn’t seem troubled at all by that. “Hehe, I’m strong too. Elira didn’t raise me for seven years for nothing.” He lifts his arms as if to flex his biceps but doesn’t actually flex them. Luca still looks anyway.
“We’re done here,” Petra declares. “Let’s go, Shu.”
“Ogey!” Shu turns to Luca one last time. “Good luck with cleaning! I’ll see you around.”
Luca nods. “Thanks. Most of it’s done anyway. I dumped a bunch of trash in the park’s public bins so now it’s just cleaning this spilt paint. Good luck with your investigation!”
“Byeee!”
Petra pulls Shu to the other side of the street where the closed-off park is. As she does, she catches a glimpse of another figure rushing past the park. She’d be rushing past this entire street too if she could but Elira just had to be hit by a car right outside the mafia’s estate.
“I should go outside more often,” Shu chatters to her. “I never knew there was a mafia here this whole time. Luca was so nice too! I hope he gets the help he needs though. He seemed pretty troubled when you said no.”
Petra ignores Shu, desperately hoping to move away from the topic of the mafia. “I wonder what the commotion around the park is. Surely it can’t be related to Elira’s hit-and-run accident.”
“This is a pretty new park if I remember correctly,” Shu says. “The gate all around it is super fancy. It definitely wasn’t here seven years ago.”
“Really? What makes you so sure of that?” Petra asks because Shu hadn’t realised the mafia was here for the seven years he lived in this area.
“If I had known about this park when I first moved here, I would have never done shows on the street,” Shu says. “A park is so much nicer and easier to gather a crowd. Maybe I would have met Luca sooner too.”
“Look, there’s a sign.” Petra loudly reads it. “People Park. That’s a cute name.”
“More parks should be named People Park. We have dog parks and water parks and car parks but no one ever clarifies if a park is for the people or if it’s just for the suburb it’s named after. Hey, there’s another little plaque under the sign! What does it say?”
Petra looks again. “Oh, there is. Donated by… the Kaneshiros.”
Shu’s eyes widen. “Is this a part of that new initiative Luca was talking about? He really is the nicest!”
Petra groans. She was never going to get Shu to realise the danger of the mafia. She approaches the police officer standing guard at the park’s entrance. “Excuse me, did something happen here, officer?”
The cop looks down at her. “No. Move along. Play somewhere else, kids.”
Petra bristles. “We’re not kids nor are we playing. I’m a defence attorney.”
“Oi, is something wrong?” A short woman in a brown coat and green plaid dress approaches them.
“Detective Alouette!” The officer squeaks. “Nothing at all. Just some curious kids claiming to be lawyers.”
“Ah.” The woman pitches her voice and speaks sweetly, as if she is talking to toddlers. “Sorry kids but the park is a no-no zone right now. Us adults are making it more fun for you so come back another day!”
“Like I said, we’re not kids-” Petra gets cut off.
“If you don’t run along, I’ll spill something bad on your cute little face. Want a dose of experimental hydroxyacelunodosetrase?”
“Hydro-what?”
“Sorry, ma’am, we’ll leave for now.” Shu pulls Petra away as she grumbles about the woman having more of a baby-face than her and still having the audacity to call her a kid. She should have shoved her attorney’s badge right into that woman’s smug face. “It’s okay, Petra, we can come back later. I sense something big too but we’ll just have to wait until the right time to strike.”
Petra stomps towards the overflowing trash can outside the park. This must’ve been where Luca dumped the mess from the accident outside his mansion. She removes the lid and peers through the rubbish.
“The life of a detective is rougher than I thought,” Shu comments.
“I’m an attorney- Huh?” Petra pulls out two interesting pieces of garbage. Each are marked with a familiar paint.
Shu looks at the items. “Hey, those look like the slippers you’d get at a hospital! Oh, and that looks like it goes on a car, right?”
Petra holds the latter item. “Yeah, this is the side-view mirror. It must’ve been torn off when it hit something. Or someone.”
“Elira,” Shu realises.
Petra nods. “This has to be from the car that hit Elira and caused the paint spill outside the Kaneshiro’s mansion. I can’t believe Luca just dumped this important piece of evidence.” Not to mention, from the side-view mirror alone, she can tell that the car was a bright fucking neon green. How many people could possibly own neon green cars? This clue is almost so blatant that Petra fears someone’s going to come down swinging on her with a fire extinguisher or some other twist is going to make it impossible to sue the hit-and-run perpetrator.
Nonetheless, evidence is evidence so she pulls out her emergency sealed plastic bags. “I should’ve brought a bigger bag. I don’t know if I can carry around both a side-view mirror and a pair of slippers.”
“That’s what I’m here for!” Shu waves his arms around.
“You didn’t even bring a bag,” Petra points out.
“I have my sorcery!”
Petra blinks and the sealed evidence bags with the paint-splattered items are suddenly gone. “Wha- Shu! This is serious. We need to take proper care of that evidence!”
Shu makes an offended face. “Stop doubting my sorcery.” He waves his arms again and in another blink, the bags appear, the mirror and slippers looking just as they had found them, the paint not even disturbed.
Petra narrows her eyes. She wants to protest and tell Shu to drop the act but he’s keeping his word and helping her so she decides fine, let him do his ‘sorcery’.
“By the way, I think we should talk to Luca more,” Shu says as he puts the evidence away again. “He probably has a good idea of what’s happening at the park and you really wanted to know about that, didn’t you?”
Shu, unfortunately, makes a good point. They cross the street again where Luca is still cleaning outside. When he looks up and sees them, his expression is amused and Petra realises he likely saw them get called children by the cop and detective, as well as saw them rummaging through the trash can.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you guys again so soon,” he grins.
“Do you know what’s up with the park?” Petra puts bluntly before Shu can get a word in and bring them off topic.
Luca frowns. “A gun was fired. Someone was killed.”
“What?!”
“Yeah. When you mentioned you were a lawyer, I was wondering if you were going to help with the incident but from your reactions, I’m assuming no.”
Petra shakes her head. A bad feeling bubbles in her the pit of her stomach but she pushes it down. “We found a side-view mirror with paint on it. Are we right to say that you dumped it?”
Shu makes the evidence bag with the mirror appear and Luca’s eyes widen in awe at the display of sorcery. “Woah, Shu, how did you do that?! Where did you pull it from? Can you show me how to do that? That was so pog!”
Shu giggles. “That’s not even my most impressive trick. You should come to my shows. I’ll ask the owner to save the best seat for you, hehe.” In his other hand, the one not holding the evidence bag, he makes a flyer appear, one that appears to be promoting By The Beat and its exclusive performances. He holds it out to Luca who takes it, cheeks rosy and bright.
“Ahem, the mirror?” Petra glares at Luca who nervously steps back. Good. Petra has newly made a rule that flirting is not allowed while she is doing her job. She doesn’t voice this rule because it’ll be ignored just as her rule of being the spokesperson between Shu and a mafia boss but she imagines that Luca has become aware of the rule from the vibes.
“The mirror!” Luca gives a sheepish laugh. “It totally slipped my mind that I should’ve held onto that to submit as evidence. Good thing you guys are the detectives and I’m not. I go into a totally different state when I’m cleaning.”
‘Still not a detective,’ Petra grumbles. ‘But at least we know for sure now that it must’ve come from the same car if Luca dumped it.’
“Oh, Alban, you’re back!” Luca suddenly calls. “Welcome home!”
Petra whips around to see the figure from before who had been rushing past the park.
Alban startles. “Aw man, you caught me,” he jokes, although there is a tinge of anxiousness to it, as if he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing even though he seemed to just be returning home to the mafia family.
Shu quickly passes a flyer to Alban. “Here, take this!”
Alban looks at it, confused. “The Weewa Anything Agency?”
“Anything?” Petra echoes.
“Yep!” Shu confirms. “Do you like the new flyer? I just made it this morning!” - When? - “This is our defence attorney, by the way. Petra Gurin.”
“Wh- Shu!” Petra hisses. Why was he so insistent on introducing them to the mafia?
“Drop by our office,” Shu continues. “We’ll be waiting!”
“Ah, umm, bye,” Alban says, not knowing how to deal with Shu. He turns to Luca and whispers, “Boss, let’s head inside. We need to talk about the…” Petra isn’t able to catch the rest of it as the two mafia members leave without another glance back, the gates to the estate closing with a heavy thud.
She turns to the sorcerer next to her. “Shu, what was that for?”
Shu hums. “I dunno. They seem like they need our help.”
“They’re the mafia. They don’t need our help and we shouldn’t involve ourselves with criminal organisations.”
“Are they really that bad?” Shu questions. “They’re people too. Whatever crimes they get judged for, we should make sure it actually fits the bill, right?”
“Not every criminal goes to court,” Petra says. “Bad people look like ordinary people so sometimes we have to trust what we know and feel from a first glance rather than waiting until proven wrong and stabbed in the back.”
Shu ponders in silence as they walk away from the troublesome street. After a moment, he speaks up, “You say that, but you don’t really believe it, do you? Innocent until proven guilty, no?”
Petra doesn’t reply. Innocent until guilty, innocent until guilty, innocent until- It shouldn’t have been her job to prove her guilty. Her job was to prove her client innocent. Why did she have to search for the other person? Why did she open her eyes to the ace card? Why was it Petra who had to condemn her for being a killer - a killer who almost got away with it while perfectly playing the role of a trusted mentor and respectable boss?
There was a reason rumours existed. There was a reason the other employees had never smiled. There was a reason people called former defence attorney Rosemi Lovelock Satan, and her apprentice Petra Gurin the Fool.
Well, Fool she is because she doesn’t learn. She agrees. “Okay, if any of those two drop by the office, I’ll hear them out. Innocent until guilty.”
Shu beams and Petra prays the Kaneshiros are as kind as they make themselves to be.
Of all the places where Eldoon could live, Petra isn’t quite sure what she expected. She isn’t even sure if Eldoon has a house or if he just set up a little shed for privacy and then decided to leave everything else out in the open for the world to see. No wonder his noodle stand got stolen - his… kitchen? ... is basically a public space. The shed doesn’t seem big enough to fit both a bathroom and a bedroom so Petra can’t even tell where the rest of Eldoon’s house is. Surely he doesn’t sleep in the noodle stand? Of course not, then they’d also have a missing person and Eldoon is, unfortunately, extremely difficult to miss.
“Shu! Petra! Good to see you!” Eldoon calls, shifting the noodle bowl atop his head back slightly. Something slips to the ground with a gross splat. Petra does not want to see if it is actually a noodle strand from his head. “How’s the investigation going?”
“We just got here,” Petra deadpans.
“It’s going great,” Shu replies, fully aware they haven’t found anything.
“That’s good to hear!” Eldoon shouts. “I’ll make sure to cook you guys the saltiest noodles when you find my stand! For every grain of time you spend searching, I’ll repay you with an extra grain of salt!”
‘That sounds more and more like a punishment than a payment.’
Petra examines Eldoon’s house again as if there could be a clue as to how his stand got robbed but decides it is giving her an eyesore and draws her attention away. There’s not much of interest anyway - a large sign with ‘NOO’ written on it, presumably meant to be ‘NOODLE’ before running out of space, and an empty noodle bowl on the floor which could have toppled out from the noodle stand but alone is not enough to provide any clues as to what happened.
She looks at the place next to Eldoon’s house and raises a brow when she reads the sign, ‘Meraktis Clinic’. The entrance resembles more of a casino entrance than a hospital one with its golden pillars and red carpet. “You’re neighbours with a hospital clinic?” She then frowns as she notices police at the entrance.
Shu gasps. “Wait, this is where I chased that thief to! It was dark so I thought he just disappeared but now that I think about it, it looked more like he stepped into the clinic’s garage.”
“Thief?” Petra questions before remembering what Shu had lost. “Oh, right. That other thief.”
“That other thief?” Eldoon overhears. “Don’t tell me - Shu, has your noodle stand also been stolen?!”
“Not my noodle stand,” Shu answers. “I don’t have a noodle stand. But my poop was stolen! How can I do my sorcery without my magic poop?!”
Eldoon cries, “No, that’s absolutely horrible, Shu! What terrible thieves there are in this town! They’re despicable coming for our livelihoods.”
“Shu, we’ll investigate the clinic and garage later then,” Petra says, partially to assure the guy that she’ll investigate for his magic poop and mostly because the coincidence of the police being there means something, she just isn’t sure what yet. “Mr Eldoon, I can’t get much from just observing the crime scene so could you explain to me a bit more about your noodle stand and how you found out it was stolen?”
“Absolutely,” Eldoon says. “A detective’s work sure is hard. I’ve always wondered what it’d be like but I’ve found my passion as a chef. Although now, maybe it’s time to wonder again. Anyway, my noodle stand is more than just a stand. I lost those wobbly wheels, my salt-crusted stewpot, my stained sign... I didn't just lose a stand, I lost a legend! A legend, Petra!”
“A legend!” Shu echoes with equal enthusiasm.
“A legend,” Petra repeats with the very opposite.
“I was pulling the stand through the streets and shouting at the very very top of my lungs about my noodles to the rest of the town as I usually do,” Eldoon continues. “You could smell that salty salty broth every corner you turned. I finished up and got home right before 10pm. I washed my bowls and greased my wheels so that everything would be absolutely perfect for the next morning. But when I woke up for work today, the stand was gone! My entire life, my entire being and soul - just gone! All my soup stock, my noodles, my bowls... and my dreams! The sun hadn’t even risen yet! Who does that? Who could ever ever think of stealing something so precious while the owner is asleep?!”
‘Most thieves do that,’ Petra thinks. ‘Anyone thieving with common sense really.’
“The thief seems to have left one bowl,” Shu points out, “There, on the ground. So not all is lost! We’ll find your dreams and make sure they return to you.”
Eldoon picks up the lone bowl and cradles it like a baby. “Little Timmy, we’ll get through this together. Where did your siblings go? …Little Timmy, you’re useless! How could you have let our home be stolen?! Why didn’t you scream for help? It’s so over!”
“O-kaayyy… Shu, let’s investigate next door,” Petra says as a grown man whines to a non-sentient bowl.
“Ogey,” Shu smiles, apparently not concerned about Eldoon’s breakdown. He follows Petra as she walks with purpose towards the police officer standing outside the entrance. This time, she hopes she will not get mistaken as a kid and will be treated with the proper respect and dignity she deserves-
“Sorry, kids. Clinic’s closed. Go play doctor somewhere else,” the officer says.
Petra punches the cop.
Almost.
She so wishes she could but she is a proper respectable and dignified woman and she will not succumb to this town’s madness no matter how much it tries to flaunt its negative common sense before her.
First of all, what kids would be left unattended at a hospital clinic? Second, what kids would go to a clinic to play doctor? And last but not least of all, what kid had boobs like Petra’s?! Sure, Petra was a late bloomer compared to the rest of her female peers who were blessed with early growth, but after high school, her chest had risen like bread loaf in the oven, the flat chopping board giving shape to two soft, bouncy buns that she knew were worthy of envy even by god’s favourite children. Of course, she’s still waiting on the height to shoot forth and the baby fat in her cheeks to rescind but the point is, if anyone looks at her fully, they would clearly see that she is not a kid!
Shu, in his shorts and tights, proclaims much louder than necessary, “C’mon Petra! We’re investigating the garage right? That’s where the thief with my magic poop went!”
…Was Shu the reason the police thought she was a child too?
Nonetheless, she abandons trying to talk to the officer because quite frankly, she, a woman, should save her breath for better things than useless stupid people in authoritative positions.
The garage door is rolled halfway up and apparently the police don’t care for it as Petra and Shu slip inside, even though the garage should be private property. If they do get accused of trespassing, then Petra will deck the heck out of that police officer because what’s another crime once one has been committed?
As soon as they’re inside the garage, Petra sees a very blatant clue in front of them - a neon green car. She immediately goes to investigate it and yep, it’s missing a side-view mirror.
“Shu, could you hand me the side-view mirror, please?”
Shu comes up next to her and does as asked, tilting his head at the request before following Petra’s gaze towards the car. “No way! Is this the car, Petra?”
Petra holds the mirror they found in the trash up to the car in front of them. “That looks like a perfect match to me. This car definitely hit Elira Pendora.”
“Oh my gosh, Petra, you really are a professional!” Shu hops excitedly, “You solved Elira’s case so quickly! Now we just have to tell her and then she can report the owner of the car! Thank you, Petra, I’m so happy you’re working for us!”
Petra startles at Shu’s sincerity before smiling back genuinely for the first time in a while. “Of course, Shu. Let’s write down a description of the car, the address we found it at and the licence number. Before we go tell Elira though, I’d like to investigate a bit more. After all, this was where you said the thief disappeared, wasn’t it?”
Shu gasps. “That’s right! I almost forgot. Who would’ve thought one case would lead to the solution of another?”
‘It’s a crazy coincidence for sure,’ Petra thinks. ‘In fact, it wasn’t just one case leading to another but two cases. The only reason we were even in this area was because of Eldoon’s missing noodle stand. …There’s definitely something bigger here and I’m going to get dragged into it, aren’t I? I swear to god, Elira, if you set me up on a wild goose chase, I’ll… apparently chase the geese. I wish that woman could just be straightforward.’
Petra walks around the car, examining for any other possible clues. Lo and behold, just beneath the car’s tire appears to be a cute cell phone.
“Oh, is that the doctor’s phone?” Shu asks. “I wonder how it got dropped in such a weird position. If the car moved, the phone would get crushed for sure.”
“It is weird how the phone got dropped here,” Petra muses as she seals the phone in another evidence bag. ‘The car and phone also do not match. Although I suppose anyone with a neon green car can’t have that good of a taste in complementary aesthetics.’ She hands the evidence to Shu who happily stores it in whatever magic compartment he’s hidden in his outfit.
“Is that all? I can’t see anything else out of place,” Shu pouts, clearly hoping there would be a clue to his missing paraphernalia.
Petra agrees that nothing else in the garage seems amiss. Still, seeing the flashy car before her, the whimsical part of Petra desperately wants to check one small thing before leaving. She highly doubts they’ll find anything but she decides to look anyway because she’s always wanted to do so.
“Once, I read a record of a case Elira worked on many years ago,” she tells Shu as she walks around to the back of the car. Shu follows her with a confused expression, clearly not expecting her to be the sudden anecdotal type. “Apparently, there was this car with a piece of cloth shoved into the tailpipe. That piece of cloth turned out to be a vital clue to solving the case! So ever since, if I’m checking a car, I gotta check the tailpipe too. It’d be funny if there was… Huh? Wait! There’s something in there!”
Inside the tailpipe, there’s something dark that’s definitely blocking it but Petra can’t quite make out what’s stuck. She figures it’s safe to stick her hand in and when her fingers meet something oddly squishy, she pulls it out to find…
“My poop!!!” Shu exclaims.
In Petra’s hand is certainly something. At the very least, to her most immense relief, she is not holding real fucking feces. The item in her hand is brown and soft with a cartoonish face and for a moment, she could believe she is just holding a plushie in the shape of a poop. But something is off, considering its ability to be squished into a tiny tailpipe and, grossly, she thinks she can feel a warmth radiating from within it.
Then, to her surprise, she realises the poop is in fact emitting a heat as suddenly, what appears to be blue flames bursts from it, and it shoots itself into Shu’s hands.
“Arrghh!! What the fuck?!”
“Petra, wow, thank you!” Shu holds the poop proudly before him. “You’re amazing! I’m so impressed! You must have a nose for finding poop!”
“No. No, don’t say that. Please.”
Shu happily continues, “I’m so glad you found my magic poop. It’s one of the highlights of my sorcery. Everyone loves it at By The Beat.”
Magic poop. Right. It’s a magic prop for Shu’s magic shows, there’s probably some weird mechanism in it, of course.
Petra quickly recomposes herself. “Well, that case is solved.”
Shu makes his magic poop disappear the same way he did with the evidence bags Petra gave him. “What do you mean? We still need to catch the guy who ran off with my tool of trade!”
“Oh, right. I wonder why the guy stole your prop and then left it here though,” Petra mutters.
“Maybe he sensed that my poop would curse him if he held onto it for too long,” Shu reasons as if that was a perfectly reasonable reason.
“It’d be helpful if your poop cursed the guy to appear before us so we knew who the thief was.”
“Woah, smart! I gotta refine my sorcery then. It’d suck if the thief accidentally got teleported to the future instead of the front door.”
Petra thinks she'd like to be teleported to the future if it means getting away from this mess.
Has Petra mentioned before how much she hates walking? Well, she hates walking.
Petra and Shu walked all the way from Meraktis Clinic to Parfait Clinic to report to Elira their findings. The hospitalised woman had responded with an ‘awesome’ and when Petra inquired about payment, seeing as she had basically solved Elira’s case, Elira waved it off with a ‘how’s the investigation for Eldoon’s noodle stand going?’ Before Petra could rip into Elira for clearly not treating her seriously, Shu eagerly suggested returning to the office to plot out their steps and where to search next.
As much as Petra had wanted to question Elira, she couldn’t bring herself to do it in front of Elira’s son (and that was another thing she held off from questioning - something faint niggling at the back of her mind). Said guy also seemed to have developed an enthusiasm for investigating after Petra found his magic poop and she didn’t want to be a downer on his mood.
So she did not get any answers from Elira and instead likely got more blisters from the walk back to the newly renamed Weewa Anything Agency. At some point, Petra suggested getting an uber only for Shu to suggest asking Luca, the mafia boss, to let them borrow a car and chauffeur whilst they were investigating as it would be cheaper and fancier. Petra didn’t know what impressions Shu had of the mafia but she shut down his infatuation by resolutely marching forth.
So now she’s trying to keep her breathing even and her head held high as she approaches the office, refusing to admit that she may be on the verge of death because she wasn’t willing to pay for an overpriced drive down just a few streets and she definitely wasn’t willing to lose a body part for mingling with the wrong crew.
As Petra comes up the entrance to the Weewa Anything Agency, with Shu just a few steps behind her, she notices a figure waiting by the door. The figure turns upon noticing Petra and Shu’s arrival and Petra internally groans. ‘So much for not mingling with the mafia.’
Outside the Weewa Anything Agency, clearly waiting for Petra and Shu, is Alban, the guy who needed to discuss business so important with Luca Kaneshiro that the mafia boss hadn’t spared another glance back as he and Alban secluded back into their estate.
Now, Petra doesn’t know how closely associated with the Kaneshiro mafia Alban is, but she suspects she will find out soon enough and the answer will likely sadly be involved enough that she won’t be able to keep Shu away from criminal organisations. Whatever, it’s not her responsibility to look after Shu anyway even if it concerns her that Shu and his supposed parental figure are both too chill in very unchill situations. As long as no one loses a body part, everything should be fine.
Shu rushes past her to greet Alban, leading them into the still overly cluttered office and kindly offering drinks, his expression of despair when they were walking back completely vanished as if it was never there.
“Alban, I’m so glad you found us! Sorry we kept you waiting. What can we do for you?”
Alban startles at Shu’s display of hospitality which is probably fair considering Petra’s own display of hostility as she tries to menacingly hover by his side, hands on hips, death glare laser-pinned to Alban should he suddenly pull out a gun and attempt to shoot them for even catching a glimpse of the Kaneshiro boss. Of course, Petra can’t do anything against a gun and she was voted ‘first to die’ multiple times amongst her peers throughout her life but she likes to think there’s an air about her that would make maybe-murderers reconsider murdering her.
“Oh, umm, well,” Alban begins and Petra wonders if he really is a part of the mafia with his meek and timid countenance. “The flyer you handed me - you said you were a defence attorney?”
Petra straightens up. “Wait, you seriously want me to defend you? Really?! Me?”
“Can you tell us what happened?” Shu asks while Petra gets overexcited at the fact that she might actually have a real job.
“Ah, I’m not the client,” Alban says. “The client would actually be my… fiancé,” He blushes at the word.
“Fiancé?” Petra raises a brow. Alban looks young, possibly even younger than Shu. Now, Petra believes love can happen at any age and it’s really so wonderful if young people can find that. But realistically, the chances of a stable relationship at a young age are… low. And if Alban is on speaking terms with the mafia, Petra can’t help but feel pity at his display of bashfulness.
“Yes.” Alban plays with the high collar covering his neck and looks to the side as he says, “He was arrested this morning. The charge… was murder.”
“A murder case…” Shu echoes quietly, eyes wide.
Petra sits down opposite Alban and pulls out her notebook. “Okay, tell me about yourself. You seem to be close to the head of the Kaneshiro mafia. Are you a member of them?”
“No, not yet,” Alban says. “I’m to be married next month. To the boss’s younger brother and right-hand man.”
“Oh! So you’ll be in-laws with Luca,” Shu says. “Wow, can you tell me what it’s like to be a Kaneshiro? Is it fun? Exciting? Super pog?”
Alban huffs a little laugh at that. “Definitely pog. The Kaneshiros are a locally responsible mafia. It’s nice with them. I quit my boring job and had no regrets.”
Petra diverts the topic before Shu starts getting any more ideas. “So your fiancé was charged of murder. Could you tell me what you know about that?”
Alban nods. “I haven’t been told all the details. But a body was found in People Park, opposite the Kaneshiro Mansion. Apparently, the victim was shot with a pistol… but the circumstances of the shooting were also… unusual. They didn’t elaborate on how.”
“Tell me more about your fiancé,” Petra says.
“He’s the Boss’s only blood-related family left. Though he goes by a different family name. Sonny Brisko. Umm, I have a photo.” Alban takes out a printed photo from his pocket to show a man with hair brighter than the fucking sun. Petra almost thought she was staring at a fluorescent lightbulb. His eyes are a shade paler than his brother’s but he carries the same menacing aura of a mafia member, even if his particular look in the photo Alban provided reminds Petra more of a serial killer.
“Thank you,” Petra says, because she is the epitome of professionalism and needs this job, even if defending a mafia member from murder is not a case a dumb rookie attorney like her should take. But then again, a rookie attorney like her really shouldn’t have been given a murder trial for her first case, much less one defending the infamous Elira Pendora.
Whatever the circumstances turn out to be, no matter how unconventional or how absurd, Petra swears she will fight for the truth. If there’s one thing she knows as a young woman carving her path through the world, it’s that everyone deserves to be heard fairly.
Turning Alban’s request down now means she’ll not only likely end up dead in a ditch but also forgo her personal values. So Petra mentally pulls up her boot straps and buckles in, praying that by some miracle, Sonny Brisko is an innocent man.
It’s hard to say Sonny Brisko is an innocent man when he’s not made himself available to be questioned. Admittedly, it’s just bad timing on Petra’s and Shu’s part that when they arrived at the detention centre where Sonny was being held, the police were the ones currently questioning him.
The police’s assessment on Sonny Brisko means nothing to Petra’s personal judgement though and once Sonny is available, she will be doing her own questioning to determine his innocence and whether she’ll have second thoughts about accepting Alban’s request. If she fails, she’ll at least be able to say she had a good run even though, quite frankly, she really didn’t considering her only “accomplishment” was sending her former boss to jail. That being said, it’s annoying to spend money on the bus to see your client only for the client to not be available.
Since there’s nothing to do around the detention centre and questioning will take a while, Petra and Shu decide to take the bus back and get ahead in investigating the scene of the crime because despite still being hesitant to defend a mafia member, Petra is curious about what happened so she might as well take this chance to steal a peak. Is this potentially abuse of privilege? Maybe, but for the case she’s just been handed, Petra’s already dancing between the lines of the law. Alban had given them a formally written letter of request and this time, Petra is prepared to shove her defence attorney badge into the guarding officer’s face before getting accused of playing around again.
However, when Petra and Shu arrive at the park, Petra only gets through step one of ‘Fuck You Presumptious Police Officer, I’m a Woman of the Law with Rights’ because another person interrupts their conversation before she can whip out her shiny badge.
“Excuse me, may I come through please?”
Petra whips around and the hairs on her skin rise as she sees the newcomer.
Pink hair, pale skin, a piercing stare that could see through your soul.
Rosemi?
“I’ve never been gazed at so deeply by a girl as cute as you before,” the woman speaks, and warmth floods through Petra instead of a familiar chill. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
All of Petra’s bravado has been punched out of her and she can only gape uselessly. Thankfully, for all her reservations about bringing Shu along to a murder scene, he steps in and saves her big time.
“Yes! The police officer here won’t let us in even though we’ve given proof that we’re defending Mr Brisko,” Shu explains.
“Oh, you must be exhausted!” The woman says. “I’ll take you to the crime scene. Ahem, Officer.” She looks pointedly at the crappy cop before them who flinches.
“Y-Yes! Of course! M-My apologies.”
Petra does her best to keep her pout to herself. ‘Why don’t my glares send men withering at my feet? I can be scary!’
“Good luck with your investigation,” the woman says after they enter the park. “I’ll see you around!”
“Thank you!” Shu chirps.
“Who was that?” Petra asks to the air as the mysterious woman walks off.
Shu suddenly gasps. “Oh frick, is that a corpse?”
Petra turns to where Shu is looking and sees a figure in front of a noodle stand, positioned as if it was in the middle of pulling the stand along. “That’s just a mannequin,” she informs Shu who brightens at that.
“Oh, wow. That got me. I’ve been gottem-ed.”
Petra does not try to understand what Shu means.
“Oi, what are you kids doing here? Did you not understand that this park is off-limits?”
The detective from before glares at them, hands on her hips as if that makes her any more mature. As much as Petra wants to bitch at this woman for being more baby-faced and flat-chested than her, she’s not here to get them banned from a salty bitter dick so she courteously hands over Alban’s letter of request. “I’m here to investigate, Detective. I’m the defence attorney for this case.”
The detective takes the letter and examines it. She drops the glare but maintains her grumpy demeanour, clearly having a resting bitch attitude. “I see. Well, I’m Detective Enna Alouette. I’m in charge of this crime scene so don’t go messing around things too much.”
“Right.” Petra takes back the letter, daintily putting it back into her purse and smoothening her still very cute dress. “So, what’s up with the mannequin there?”
“That’s taking place of the body, showing how it was found.”
Petra’s brows shoot up. The body was found dead in that position? Pulling the noodle stand?
“That’s Eldoon’s Noodle stand!” Shu points out and lo and behold, it really is, ‘ELDOON’ clearly written on the side.
“...That’s another case solved,” Petra dryly remarks. “Although… that’s an unfortunate solution.”
“Elira sure knows how to pick cases,” Shu comments. “There’s always something unexpected!”
“You can say that again. In her years of defending and after them too, Elira Pendora never does boring.”
Detective Alouette suddenly perks up. “Did you say Elira Pendora? As in the former defence attorney?”
“Yeah!” Shu answers. “You know her?”
Alouette’s expression instantly brightens. “Elira and I go way back! We haven’t kept in touch for a while but I owe her a lot for what she’s done for me. How do you guys know her?”
“Well, this is Shu Yamino, her son,” Petra says. She ignores Alouette’s “What the fuck?! When did that bitch have a kid?” and continues. “I’m Petra Gurin, her… apprentice.” Yeah, apprentice sounds fine.
“Oh my gosh. Well, if you’re Elira’s son and you’re her apprentice, I’m available to help you guys in any way I can. You can call me Enna!”
Nevermind, Petra doesn’t want to be Elira’s apprentice. She’s her own person. She thanks Enna anyway and then asks what Enna has found so far.
There’s a knife with Sonny Brisko’s fingerprints on it but the autopsy report from last night states the cause of death was a bullet wound to the temple, shot by a pistol. The victim’s name was Pal Meraktis which explains why there were also police at Meraktis Clinic. And, information that Petra suspected she would hear but preferred not to hear, there was a witness to the moment of the crime who had called the police and declared that Sonny Brisko was the killer.
The odds of Sonny Brisko’s innocence are not looking good so far.
“Have you spoken to the defendant yet?” Enna asks and Petra grimaces.
“He was in questioning when we visited earlier. But he should be done now. I think we’ll wrap up here and head to the detention centre again. Thanks for your help, Enna.”
“Of course!” Enna says, in a syrupy voice. Had she not helped them with their investigation, Petra would have found her sickeningly fake. Instead, Petra decides Enna isn’t that much of a bitch, or rather, she’s the same type of bitch as Petra - sweet in appearance and salty in mind, a woman who learnt to build walls against misogynistic workplace standards without ever breaking an acrylic nail.
Petra peels off her gloves and tucks a loose hair strand behind her ear. She marches past the officer guarding the park entrance, not sparing a glance to see if he’s ashamed of himself or still an arrogant asshole.
Whether Sonny’s innocent or not, Petra will stand her ground. She’ll make sure his side of the story is heard. And she’ll make sure the victim’s voice is heard too, despite the silence of death. Most importantly, her own voice will be heard, so that she doesn’t have to think of herself as a kid or an apprentice or a bitch.
She’ll think of herself as Petra Gurin, an ace attorney.
“What do you mean we can’t see him?” Petra demands.
The guard at the detention centre shrugs. “Meeting hours for the day are almost done. There’s only a few minutes left and Brisko currently has a visitor.”
“I’m his defence attorney,” Petra stresses. “Surely I should take priority to see my client.”
“His brother’s the one visiting,” the guard informs. “I can lead you to the room but I won’t be the one to upset a mafia boss.”
“Luca’s here?” Shu grins, “That’s perfect. He won’t mind at all!”
The guard is clearly taken aback by Shu’s familiarity to the head of the Kaneshiros. Petra just smirks. “I told you. I’m Sonny Brisko’s defence attorney.”
Her bravado takes a swan dive as the guard leads them towards Sonny Brisko, where bickering echoes down the hallway, growing louder and louder.
“Give it up, Luca! It’s fine! Don’t waste your time and resources on me! I’ll be fine in the clink!”
“You shouldn’t be in the clink! I know you’re innocent! Stop insisting you killed the man!”
“I did kill him! And I’d kill him again!” Sonny Brisko’s voice is loud and clear and Petra’s stomach drops.
“Luca!” Shu calls boldly, utterly unfazed at the fact that Luca looks one second away from punching the glass that separates Sonny from the rest of them. Luca turns towards them with such force, fists clenched tightly and anger blazing in his eyes, that Petra is convinced he was going to punch them, only for his gaze to fall onto the self-proclaimed sorcerer smiling at him.
“Shu!” Luca’s anger fades away and is replaced with… is that fondness in his eyes? Seriously? They literally met today. “Oh, and Petra.” Nice of Luca to include her as an afterthought. “Are you here to defend Sonny?” There’s a hopeful look now on Luca’s face.
“Yes,” Petra confirms and she turns to the man behind the glass screen. “You must be Sonny.”
He looks just as the photo Alban had shown them, highlighter-bright hair, pale purple eyes, serial killer countenance.
Sonny scowls. “Don’t bother. I’m the most clear cut killer there is to this case. You won’t find me innocent and even if you do, you’ll never find work again for defending a blatant criminal. Whatever Luca offered to pay you is a scam. He won’t pay you for your service.”
“Sonny!” Luca practically whines. “You’re my brother. Please. I can’t allow you to go to jail!”
“We’re the mafia. You should be elated that I’m not dead.”
“They give the death sentence here to murderers!” Luca screams. “And you’ve been charged with murder!”
“Yeah, yeah, big deal.” Sonny rolls his eyes. “With how corrupt the system is, that shit’s so backlogged I’ll probably be shrivelled up by the time I’m on the chopping block.”
“Time’s up,” the guard says. “Sorry, you’ll have to visit tomorrow.”
Luca growls and Petra takes her cue to drag Shu out so that he can preserve his image of his new crush as a friendly hot blond neighbour instead of realising that there is a very ugly, brutal side to the mafia. Ok, no, it was definitely more to preserve their literal lives before things got messy.
So much for talking to the defendant though.
Maybe it’s a sign that the ace attorney life isn’t for her.
She wonders if Shu will take her as a sorcerer’s assistant.