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It was another sunny day in Valhalla, and Caboose stood in front of Blue Base trying not to think about how Church had left. Again. And how he didn't have to be so mean about it.
But at least Caboose still had Tucker and... nope. Never mind. Tucker just walked away shouting something about it being alone time and that Caboose should just sing or something if he got lonely, and that was why Caboose didn't like Tucker very much. He was a friend stealer and friend leave-behinder, and he always made really weird noises during alone time. Like right now.
Caboose could hear him clear across the canyon, and there were a lot of rocks in the way.
So Caboose decided to sing as loudly as possible to not hear Tucker's weird noises.
CABOOSE:
F is for Friends who do stuff together!
U is for You and Me!
N is for Anywhere, Anytime at All
Down here in the deep blue sea!
“I didn’t know we were in the ocean.”
Caboose gasped with happiness as Agent Washington came out of Blue Base. Caboose had always known that the FUN Song was a good way to have fun with friends, and he knew that his friend had come to have fun with him. Even if his friend was a little confused about where they were, but that happened a lot with Agent Washington, and so Caboose happily explained things to him.
“That is because we are not, Agent Washington! But that is how the song goes. Because it is by a sponge. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea.”
Agent Washington’s helmet tilted with his smile. “I know who Spongebob is, Caboose. I was just trying to make a joke.”
Caboose gasped happily again. “Then you know how the song goes! Which means you can sing it with me! Will you sing it with me?”
His friend looked down at the ground and dug his toe into the dirt. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
Agent Washington looked off to the side again and mumbled, “I’m not very good at singing.”
Caboose reached over to pat his friend on the shoulder. “That is okay, Agent Washington. You don’t have to sing good to have fun singing. And singing with friends is more fun than singing without friends.” Caboose sighed. “It has been a very long time since I could sing with my friends. I miss singing with Church...”
Agent Washington cleared his throat before Caboose could begin to feel really sad. “I suppose I could try, if it would make you happy,” he said.
Caboose gasped happily and clapped his hands. “Yes!” he shouted, too happy to not shout and bounce around. “It would make me very happy!”
“In that case, here goes nothing.” Washington cleared his throat.
WASHINGTON:
F is for FIRE that BURNS DOWN THE WHOLE TOWN!
U is for URANIUM. Bomb.
N is for NO SURVIVORS when you—
“No, no, Washington! That’s not how it goes!” Caboose cried, grabbing his friend's arms to stop him from acting out more of the not-nice things in the not-nice part of the song. “Or, well, it is, but we are all nice friends here, so we should only be singing the nice parts of the song.”
Agent Washington relaxed in his grip, so Caboose let him go.
“Alright, Caboose. We’ll sing only the nice parts. Did you want to start us off again?”
“Yes! Okay!” Caboose cleared his throat and got back on-key. “Me! Me meme me~!”
CABOOSE:
F is for Friends who do stuff together!
WASHINGTON:
U is for You and Me.
TOGETHER:
N is for Anywhere, Anytime at All
Down here in the deep blue sea!
WASHINGTON:
F is for Frolicking through the Flowers.
CABOOSE:
U is for Ukulele!
TOGETHER:
N is for Nose Picking, gum sharing, sand licking
Here with my best buddy!
They both ignored the faint “Bow-chicka-bow-wow!” sounding in the distance.
“How do you feel, Agent Washington?” Caboose asked, feeling very happy and tingly from all of the fun he was having.
Agent Washington shrugged. “Pretty normal?”
Caboose frowned. “Then we need to sing the song again until you feel tingly.”
His friend's helmet tilted in the confused direction. “Why?”
Caboose tried to not confuse his friend more as he carefully explained, “Because you should be feeling tingly after singing songs with friends because that tingly feeling is fun. And I want you to have fun.”
“But I am having fun.”
Caboose shook his head. “Not enough fun, which is why we need to sing the FUN Song again!”
CABOOSE:
F is for Friends who do stuff together!
WASHINGTON:
U is for You and Me.
TOGETHER:
N is for Anywhere, Anytime at All
Down here in the deep blue RED sea!
Agent Washington jumped and looked at the newest person to join the singalong. “Sarge?! What are you—”
“I heard you boys bellowing about blue seas from across the canyon and had to come correct the color confusion!” Sarge said while waving his shotgun for emphasis, and Caboose remembered how the pirate captain made a big deal about controlling the sea, so it had to be the same color as him.
“Does this mean you are going to sing with us too?” Caboose asked, hopeful.
Sarge looked at him for a long time before shrugging and saying, “Eh. Why not?”
“Yay! This is the best day ever! Except, meeting my best friend Church was the best day ever, so that means this must be the second-best best day ever. But then—”
“Quit your yapping and get back to singing, bluetard.”
SARGE:
F is for Friends who do stuff together.
CABOOSE:
U is for You and Me.
WASHINGTON:
N is for Anywhere, Anytime at All
TOGETHER:
Down here in the deep blue RED sea!
WASHINGTON:
F is for Frolicking through the Flowers.
SARGE:
[SPOKEN] U is for Ukulele.
CABOOSE:
N is for Nose Picking, gum sharing, sand licking
TOGETHER:
Here with my best buddies!
“How are you feeling now, Agent Washington?”
“Tingly.”
“I am so happy for you, Agent Washington! Having fun is very important. You should have it more often. How are you feeling, Mister Sergeant?”
“Incredibly tingly! Why, I reckon if I was a tuning fork, I’d be vibrating at the perfect frequency to induce complete relaxation in even my enemies. At which point, I would execute my plan to steal the flag from underneath their very noses.”
Agent Washington shook his head, but Caboose knew he was smiling. “Nice try, Sarge, but that plan of yours isn’t going to work.”
Sarge huffed and pretended not to know anything about anything, even though he knew lots. “What plan could you possibly be talking about?” he asked, sneaking a look past Caboose at Blue Base.
Caboose could hear the biggest Freelancer smile he had ever heard when Agent Washington replied, “The plan where you distract us by singing along while Grif and Simmons sneak into Blue Base and trigger the booby traps I set up earlier.”
Familiar screams began emanating from Blue Base.
“Fiddlesticks.”
Agent Washington raised his hand up to his visor as he looked towards where Tucker was having his alone time. His smile got even louder. “And here comes Tucker with what I believe is your flag.”
“Double fiddlesticks!” Sarge did a funny dance before he started running towards Tucker with his shotgun ready to shoot. The pirate captain yelled back over his shoulder, “One of these days, I’ll counteract your confounding contrivances. Just you see!”
Caboose and Agent Washington watched as, shortly after, Sarge fell into the very, very, very, very, VERY deep hole Agent Washington had asked Caboose to dig earlier.
“You were right, Caboose.” Agent Washington was still smiling, and he sounded happier than he usually did. “I really do need to have fun more often.”
“Does this mean you want to sing the FUN song again?” Caboose asked hopefully, because obviously Agent Washington had had so little fun he didn't even know what fun felt like.
Agent Washington shook his head. “I think we’ve sung it enough times for one day.
“Oh.” Caboose tried not to feel too disappointed.
His friend patted Caboose’s arm and explained, “We need to save our energy so we can have fun tomorrow, too.”
Caboose gasped. “I never thought about that before, but you are right! Having fun tomorrow is very important. You are very smart, Agent Washington.”
“Thank you, Caboose. It’s nice to know I’m appreciated around here.”
His friend's voice sounded a little funny, like he'd choked on some air, so Caboose patted Agent Washington on the back to help him breathe better. “That is what friends are for, yes. And we are friends.”
Agent Washington smiled. “Yes, Caboose, we are.”